I just set my first prenatal appointment for 14 September! We're going to Special Beginnings, which I believe I told y'all about before. They're wonderful. :) DH is going to be out of town the following TWO weeks, and my MIL will be in town the weekend right after, so I wanted to have an appointment before he left and the craziness began. 14 September is right at 8 weeks, just within the cusp of when they start taking in new maternity patients.
That means we might not be able to hear/see a heartbeat, but we will see the little blob that is our baby!! For that, I'm so excited. :)
We've been trying to think of ways to tell others. DH's mom's birthday is 30 August, 5w6d; my parents' wedding anniversary is 8 September, 7w1d; and Grandparents' Day (SERIOUSLY!) is 9 September, 7w2d. DH really wants to tell his mom on her birthday, I want to tell our parents on Grandparents' Day. MIL is also coming the last weekend of September, though I imagine we won't wait that long. So we're in kind of a bind.
What would y'all do? What DID you do, or what are you planning to do?
For my parents, at least, it would be easy to get them on Skype or something and actually see their reactions. I can play it off as, "Hey, let's talk about what you did on your anniversary! Oh, and happy Grandparents' Day!"
DH wonders why the theatrics. I don't think they're theatrics, I think it's fun to break the news in a fun way! But I imagine he'll just blurt it out to his mom. Which is okay, but... IDK. I want something a bit more, haha.
Then we're going to see everyone at Thanksgiving (we're flying in that Tuesday, I'll be around 18 weeks). There's also Halloween/our wedding anniversary, 14w5d. But we're not going to wait that long. ;)
I think I'm going to break it to my boss on Halloween, though. Still not sure how I'm going to break it, but it should be interesting! His wife will have JUST given birth then, so maybe I should tell him earlier...? Especially if I start to show or get all pukey.
GAH! Decisions! Help me make mine!!
Eeee! Telling people is so much fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm of the belief that because it's such a huge deal, and you don't break this news very often, you SHOULD make a big deal out of it! I love the idea of telling them on Grandparents' Day and your MIL's birthday, personally. Maybe send your MIL a "to Grandma" birthday card? :-)
I know you've heard our stories, since I posted it on LJ, but I'll tell it again. :-) We told our families on Mother's Day weekend, when we were a little over 8 weeks. Because I had so many friends who had miscarriages, I was really concerned about breaking the news early, so we waited until we had the ultrasound appointment and saw that everything was okay (btw, if you have an ultrasound at 8w, you should be able to see the heart, just not hear it). It just so happened that the following weekend was Mother's Day, so the timing was perfect. We gave his mom and grandmother framed sonogram pics in "Grandma" and "Great Grandma" frames (not terribly creative, but still fun). For my mom, we gave her a signed copy of her/my favorite children's book, "Love You Forever." I got the author to write "Coming December 2012" on the front of it. :-) She was confused at first, but then figured it out. lol
I waited until I was 13 weeks to tell my team lead/manager, then told my company the next day by sending out an e-mail saying "There are chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen. And a bun in my oven. Ha!" :-)
We told my MIL on her bday, we signed the card Love the three of us - Ralph, Alicia & ...." she freaked out and started crying, it was pretty awesome, lol. We waited until I was 9 weeks though (every time we saw her before that, it didn't feel right to tell)
ReplyDeleteI told my mom on her bday at around 5 weeks also with a card, but in the card I asked is she preferred grandma, or grammie. My parents live in a different state, so I wanted to tell her in person. We try to visit frequently, but it's never more often than once a month.
I made the 'official' announcement after 12 weeks. I didn't get an Ultrasound until then and only because I opted to do the Early Risk Assessment testing as I was 30 when I conceived (just turned 31, yay). Didn't get another one until week 20. I'm hoping I can have another at some point, I'd like to see her again before she makes her appearance in the outside world.
We wrapped a pair of baby shoes and gave the present to our Moms to open.
ReplyDeleteGet a grandparents card and give it to them before grandparents day. I gave my husband a father's day car the day before FD.
ReplyDeleteI wish a happy grandfather's day to my Dad that same day.
For his parents we gave them a picture of the ultrasound in a frame when they came (9weeks).
For my brother, I called him and told him we were working on a birthday present for him (he was born the same month the little one is due) and told him he'd get to be an uncle.
For the rest of the family I did a little slideshow on Kizoa as a riddle, it had the english expression (as a picture) of a bun in the oven, the French one of a specific type of hand puppet in a drawer, and then as a tip, we took a picture of our running shoes with little shoes in the middle, then the slideshow ended with Answer: February 2013.
We're planning to tell our friends on my Hubby's birthday. Not sure if I'm going to write Happy Birthday Daddy on the cake or something else. I'll be 14 weeks.
I've told my boss at 12 weeks and will tell my co-workers at 14.
We saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks. Actually they saw it at 5w.5d but weren't 100% sure so they didn't tell us. I heard it on the doppler at 11w4d.
My only recommendation is 1)Make sure that if you don't tell everyone at once that they know who they can speak to about it and to stay off Facebook.
2)If at all possible tell everyone at once to avoid the drama of "He knew before I did" (exception made of real close family such as parents).
3)Ask people to respect your timing.
I was planning to wait until 12 weeks because the risk of losing it decreases after that point and since none of them are about to know if I start puking all over the place or have a bit of a bump before that it will be easy to keep it quiet. I'm worried if I tell before then I'll lose it and then have to break that news too. If I wait until 12 weeks then the chances of that decrease, and then if we lose it before that only we have to know about it. As for what I was going to do... I have no idea. I suppose it depends what feels right when the time comes. I know I'll have to tell my Mam first since I can't gather everyone together to tell them and if I tell anyone before her she'll skin me alive, LOL! I'm thinking I'll tell her, then my Dad and Nan, then my Grandma, then his parents (his parents are in Canada, so with the 7 hour time difference they'll end up being last of the family to know since I'll have told everyone else while waiting for it to be late enough to call them). No idea how I'll tell them though.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'll tell my brothers after the last of the grandparents and great-grandparents are told, and after that I'll start announcing it to friends.
ReplyDeleteActually I made a mistake, we waited until just after 10 weeks to tell my MIL, aunt-in-law and grandmother-in-law. I wanted to hold off as long as possible in case they made the faux pas of saying something on FB (which they were given strict instructions against doing).
ReplyDeleteMy coworkers knew first though, but that's because they were aware that we were TTC.
I can't wait to tell people!! I want to tell my parents over Skype, and I hope there's a way to record.
ReplyDeleteI love how you told your families!! That was the perfect weekend to do it, too! I'm worried about breaking it a bit early, too, but at the same time, if anything goes wrong, we'll have a great support system. So that, I'm happy for. :) I ADORE how you told your mom, by the way -- that'd be how I want my mom to remember, as she loves books. How did you get her to sign it?!
That's probably how long I'm going to wait. Halloween is 14w5d, which might be too late as I'll probably already be showing, but it'd be great to tell awesome attorney-boss then, haha. I don't know if I'll tell the company, but I'm sure word will spread fast when I eventually tell some friends around the office. That's how we roll around here. LOL
I e-mailed the author's publicist and explained the situation. I originally offered to mail a book to him to sign, but he lives in Canada so the shipping time would take too long. I ended up talking on the phone with the publicist, who managed to snag a copy of the book from their swag closet for me, got him to sign it, and mailed it to me! It was super-easy, actually - they were delighted to be a part of the reveal!
ReplyDeleteFor Halloween, you should just wear this shirt around the office: http://www.spreadshirt.com/maternity-skeleton-costume-women-s-t-shi-C3376A8090100 :-)
Fantastic, thank you! :) We're probably not going to take that long to tell, but I do like the idea of sending a card "love the three of us". Maybe for their anniversary card? I don't know! I have separate grandparents' day cards just in case, lol.
ReplyDeleteI wish we were seeing our parents sometime soon, but our earliest trip is Thanksgiving, and we can't afford to fly down a second time before the end of the year. Oh well! Skype will have to do, haha.
And you mean, your coworkers knew before anyone, even your families?! Phew!
Thanks, hon! These were fun to read. :)
TOTALLY cute. You were there in person, right? I'd love to, but I want to catch their reactions. ;)
ReplyDeleteI hear you there! The only reason why I'd tell our families before 12 weeks is to have a support system, which I hope I wouldn't HAVE to have, but I wouldn't want me and DH to go through that alone.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Yeah, I imagine my MIL would skin me alive, too, if she wasn't the first to know! I wanna say screw that, but whatever, I don't really care. :)
Well, if I could trust the family to keep quiet until after 12 weeks and actually thought they'd be there to offer support if we needed it, then I might think like that too.
ReplyDeleteI'm just going to come off as super negative/bitchy about this but I think planning silly ways to reveal anything (pregnancy, engagement) is just that, silly. Seriously, I don't get it, and it seems like acting like something that's a huge deal in YOUR life is that important to anyone else. We've always found it bridezilla-ish to expect that wedding guests treat our wedding days as the most important days in their life, and yet with pregnancies other people are supposed to act like it's a super huge omg big deal? Maybe to your parents, as they'll be grandparents, it's a big deal, but your friends, they are happy for you but it's not a big deal to them.
ReplyDeleteAs far as telling - we called my mom the same night, I told a couple of friends that weekend, my boss two weeks later when I started getting sick and missing work, and then everyone else and facebook around week 8 or 9, after my first ultrasound. A cute facebook status is awesome. But playing games to reveal pregnancy (along the same lines as gender reveal parties) is too much.
Just my opinion though! (and like I said, I KNOW I sound like a bitch).
Also - this is a pregnancy/trying to conceive blog, and it's YOURS. Why would you put everything under a cut? That's weird.
ReplyDeleteYup! I have grandparents' cards already. We're going to call each set of parents on Labor Day (major lulz there, haha), then they'll receive the cards later. :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway! I LOVE all these ideas!! I especially like the idea of having a riddle video and the baby shoes between y'all's shoes, haha. I'd like to do a slideshow then send my parents the link -- they'll get it instantly. My in-laws? Well...
Anyway, so you CAN see it earlier? I've heard the possibility is slim, but if we can hear it at 8w, I'll be over the moon. :) Guess we'll just have to see!
And YES, definitely going to tell everyone to keep it off Facebook, a la the reveal here. I'm also going to specify who they can and cannot tell -- for instance, I want to tell my siblings and my cousin (who's local), but my parents can tell anyone else if they want. And we're definitely imposing limits on the in-laws, as word spreads like fucking wildfire with them.
Thanks, hon. :D This is great advice!
LOL, it kind of did come across that way, NGL. But I know the frustration.
ReplyDeleteNah, this is going to be treated like our engagement. We were pretty low-key about it to others, and aside from our parents (because this is the first grandchild on both sides), I want to make it special. My mom (and my dad, I'm assuming) already knows we're trying, as does DH's mom (which means EVERYONE knows).
I hate the idea of little reveal things -- it's not our style, and while I want it to be cute and fun, I don't want it to be a guessing game. For Facebook, I'll likely post the ultrasound around 12 weeks, maybe? And be like, hey, my egger is pregger! :P
Family, though? Especially immediate? It has to be special.
Not weird; I have some people from TCOYF reading on occasion. Many there know I'm pregnant, but they may not want to read about it, so I put it under a cut for their benefit.
ReplyDeleteYeah, true. My family? Fine! No one will know. My in-laws? That shit's going around the family sphere in about a minute. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't understand. I don't know what TCOYF is, but this blog is ONLY ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. It's not like you post everything here - it's only ever been about you trying, and now, it'll be about you being pregnant. So if they don't want to read it, wouldn't they just...not come to this blog? I must be missing something.
ReplyDeleteIt's not really something to understand or get. I'm cognizant of the fact that there are some from TCOYF (a message board of which I'm a part) who are infertile and struggling, and other readers and friends who are infertile and struggling, and who get email notifications of an update or otherwise want to read back at certain entries for... whatever reason. Main point: It's a courtesy to those who are struggling, just like I would want (but certainly not expect) and have wanted (but certainly not expected) the same courtesy when I was struggling.
ReplyDeleteSo while it's my blog and my decisions, my decision is just that. Why do you have a problem with it (aside from lack of understanding)?
We wrote up a gift receipt letter for our parents, basically saying "Thank you for your order of our new product the I.N.F.A.N.T. (I did actually come up with things for this to mean, if you want the full letter, I can try & find it for you). Each item is unique as they are made to order, so there is no way to say exactly what it will look like. As it is a custom order, please allow approximately 38-42 weeks for delivery. Your gift is due for delivery around the 5th of December."
ReplyDeleteWe mailed it to my mum (interstate) for her birthday & had her call us (my sister was with her) before opening - she LOVED it! I let my mum tell my nan, because I knew she wanted to... she told her by handing her the letter (bad move). Nan's response was a lecture about people wasting money on gifts until mum explained it to her! Rob's mum got it on Mother's Day (only a few days after my Mum's birthday) & because Rob's sister gave her HER Mother's Day card (signed "B, J, B & bub") first, Rob's mum thought it was an extra part of THEIR announcement until Rob's sis said "Um, Mum? Why would Rob & Julia give you a letter saying that WE'RE having a baby?", when she finally got it!
I also used the letter for LJ (mainly so I'd always be able to find it, haha), Non-family members who needed to know before Facebook just got a phone call/text/told in person the boring way. Our Facebook announcement was very SCA based (because at the time, we were really into the SCA as were/are many of our friends on FB):
"at Rowany festival 2005 I met Robert J, Rowany 2007 was our first festival as an engaged couple, Rowany 2009 was our first festival as a married couple, and Rowany 2011 will be our first festival as parents... Only 2 weeks to organise baby garb!"
(Thanks to Timeline, this only took about 30 seconds to find! The 2 weeks thing is an SCA in-joke - Everyone forgets to actually prep for festival until 2 weeks beforehand, so the joke is that whenever you discuss or plan for festival -whenever this happens to be - it means festival is only 2 weeks away)
Its the other way around for me. I could tell my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law and they'd keep it quiet, but my family couldn't keep a secret to save their lives! My Dad might not be too bad, though I'm sure he'd tell his girlfriend, and I don't know how good she is at keeping secrets (plus, my Nan lives with them, and if she over-hears something that's the whole world knowing before you can say "secret" that's for sure). And my Mam... Yeah, she's almost as bad as my Nan. She tells all her friends because apparently they "need" to know because they watched me grow up. And I know she does this because she went around and told hem all about the reasons behind my A&E trip a couple of months ago. I know this because she gave me a message from one of them (one of Emma-Jane's biological grandmother's sisters). So basically, if I tell my parents then the whole of South Wales will know before I can blink, not to mention the rest of the family since Nan will tell Grandma and she'll tell my uncles and cousins, and next thing you know the only people who wont know will be my online friends. But I can't tell his parents before I tell mine, because I spacifically promised my Mam she'd be the first to know. She's convinced I'm telling her as soon as I suspect mind, but since I don't want the world knowing until I'm 12 weeks she's lost on that one. Besides, just the other day she was complaining that since a family friend had announced her pregnancy so early (she announced it when she was about 5 weeks) it's seeming like the longest pregnancy in history. Personally I feel lucky to be among the first people to know about yours (well, I felt that way after I got over my jealousy tantrum, but that's another story, LOL). So, anyway, we're keeping it between us until the 12 week scan, then we'll let everyone in on the secret.
ReplyDeleteAAAAH MUST HAVE!! I was thinking about breaking it that way, so I loooove that shirt!, :D
ReplyDeleteAnd wonderful, thank you!! I don't know if that will be how we break it, but if you don't mind, I'd love to steal that idea at least as a Christmas present for my mom or something, she would LOVE it. :)
Steal away! Lol
ReplyDeleteI don't have a problem with it. I just didn't understand the need for a cut on a pregnancy related blog (still don't) but you're right, your blog, so you can do whatever you like. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's become especially prudent since my friend lost her baby to miscarriage. Which sucks... but considering all the stories I've read and the ladies I've known, better safe (and conscientious) than sorry!
ReplyDeleteI'll probably un-cut them later, as the pregnancy progresses. But for now, they'll be cut. :)
Ahahaha, I love this!!!! Love that you had a working acronym for it, too! I'd love to read that letter, but don't go crazy trying to find it. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is seriously the best series of tells I've read in a long time. Thanks, Julia! :D
Haha, you're welcome!
ReplyDeleteAnd so glad I put in on LJ, it made it really easy to find! The post with the full letter is here http://da-shpoon.livejournal.com/196683.html (locked, but you should be able to see it). Also LOLing forever at my 'typical' example being an almost exact description of Gabe as a newborn (only 100g off)!