CD12, Cycle 8 - I'm not even charting. :P

Thanks for all your comments on my last post. Y'all are the greatest. <3 I had a pretty shitty day the rest of Friday and most of Saturday, but I made myself feel a bit better by having a couple beers while watching the Olympics. :P

DH and I did have a fight on Saturday, though.

He's gotten into this terrible habit of putting words in my mouth when it comes to TTC, the most hurtful one being "That bitch!" whenever I mention someone is pregnant or just had a baby or something. It's especially hurtful because, while the Green Monster pokes her head out when I hear this news, I NEVER think "That bitch!"

So we had a gigantic fight about it. He didn't see an issue, didn't understand why I was angry, wanted me to just chill out and not be jealous of others' baby-makin' prowess. Much easier said than done, as y'all know, and even worse when you don't feel like you're supported by your partner. It got to a point where I was like, does he even care about my feelings?

I felt all of Saturday like he didn't, and in some way, I was right. Not because he wanted not to care, but because he didn't understand why. He didn't get that the emotions are borne not only from the heart, but from the brain and from hormones, so while I really want to keep my emotions in check, I physically, emotionally, and otherwise can't.

He apologized, but I admit, I was still pissed. I thankfully spent 8 hours the next day away from him (at a friend's baby shower, which actually went well!), and that helped tremendously.

A friend E and I were talking about this yesterday, and she put it in a way (which she used on her own husband, haha) that made sense from a scientific standpoint, and I was like, oh! He'll get that! So I wrote DH a pretty long email with exactly why I felt the way I did, the biological reasons for it, and that I wasn't using it as an excuse, but letting him know that I want as much control over my emotions as he does, if not more, and I can't do that. It's beyond me., literally

That helped, I think. We'll see how it goes. It helps that I am feeling better about finding out that his cousin is pregnant -- it still stings once in a while, especially when I count back and discover they had only tried for one, maybe two cycles. But I'm feeling better overall. Mostly because I'm pushing it out of my mind.

As much as I want to have the time to process this and other similar news, I do have to get DH to understand that I simply need that time to myself: To process, digest, and move on from news that is so devastating only because I want it so badly myself, and one year is creeping up much faster than I thought it would.

We'll see. For now, I'm hopeful.

"Processing......... Complete! :) I love you, too, baby."

Dafuq. Autocorrect wants that to say daiquiri. Prolly need one rightnow.

We just learned that DH's cousin is 9.5 weeks pregnant. They've been trying since April or May.

I can't even be happy for them now.

Fuck.

An Existential Crisis! - Wherein I question my path even more

It's no surprise to pretty much anyone that I am constantly reevaluating my faith and my belief system, always seeking to improve and learn as much as humanly possible, adapting to fit whatever sings to my heart. I came to the point where I am now after extensive research and soul-seeking, eventually settling in my path as a panentheistic Pagan and witch.

I came to this point as a result of recognizing (and, for sake of brevity, as I have a difficult time naming a "higher power, I'll be calling it) Spirit in all natural things, from the Earth on which we live to our Solar System and beyond. My beliefs have been this way for a good long while, perhaps even before exploring Paganism in any way. I just didn't have anything to call it. :) I've never really believed in any pantheon, individual god/dess, or anything other than seeing Spirit in all things, not separated. Once in a while, I'd feel a tug at my subconscious that wanted me to see otherwise, but I never really gave it a second thought.

Until now.



Recently, I received Shamanic healing from a wonderful friend of mine, Christian, and during that healing, he told me (among many other things!) that I have an orisha at my side and as my guide (hey, I'm a poet!): Yemaya. Cue my utter surprise, considering my beliefs above! A goddess, following me around? Um... why?

After the healing, I set myself to learning anything I could find about Yemaya, and the more I learned, the stronger that tug became. Almost to the point of a yank! It's only been a few days since the healing, but the signs are literally everywhere, and as I think back, they all have really been there all along. It just took opening my eyes.

I've been talking to another wonderful friend, Ellen, about this experience, as I've obviously managed to perpetually ignored any tugs or yanks or anything else that would lead me to this point. She's a child of Aphrodite, and she compared that "aha!" moment to when you buy a new car: Suddenly, you start to see your car all over the place. And it's true: I am finding bits of Yemaya everywhere now.

What's also bizarre is the way in which she has taken up space in my brain, and not at all in a bad way. While talking to Ellen, we discussed how this was a very overwhelming process, like an adoptee who never knew her real mother, then one day learned about her and found a deep connection. You know there's someone out there for you, but until that person makes herself known, you don't have a name for her. And once you do know her name, it's always on the tip of your tongue, always in the back of your mind.

There's also a sense of peace and clarity that has come over me the past few days, similar to the feeling I had when I was thirteen and I had just discovered Paganism (at that time, I was looking specifically into Wicca). It's as if a light bulb flicked on and the world filled with light, as if sounds became clearer and scents became stronger and my sense of self just grew more confident in this new knowledge.

In my brief study of Her, I have grown to appreciate the bond that many of my Pagan friends have with their patron gods and goddesses. It's something that I've honestly been very curious about, and that I haven't experienced myself until now, so I admit that I thought the idea of a god or goddess feeling "personal" struck me as pretty silly. As I delve deeper into Yemaya's story and devotions, though, I find myself as one of the silly ones, creating a bond as described above, and inevitably craving more of Her.

Hm, so this is how it feels. :)

[caption id="attachment_1431" align="aligncenter" width="227" caption="She might also explain my craving of Starbucks. ;)"][/caption]

The one thing I've been concerned about is the pervasive idea I have that, at least in my view, the universe and everything in it is still of Spirit, and Spirit is of everything. Can I balance my panentheistic views with the study of and devotion to one deity? Is it possible to believe that all is Spirit and this bit of Spirit wants a relationship with me, also a bit of Spirit, personally?

I figure, if Hindus can do it, then I can, too! Their concept of Brahman, the supreme cosmic spirit which is regarded to be eternal, genderless, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, shows some bit of panentheism as it is described not only as subsuming all-being, but also as the embodiment of non-beings. If read to mean that Brahman also transcends the physical universe and represents a realm inconceivable to humanity, beyond the physical realm of "being", then it becomes panentheistic.

And this, from a decidedly polytheistic belief system. ;)

As a faith, panentheism is often described as a "bridge" between theism and pantheism, recognizing both a Spirit that is immanent and transcendent, and with those two thoughts as not necessarily separate from each other. This allows for each creature to be self-expressive while still belonging to a greater sense of divinity. If thought about, it could also allow for gods, goddesses, orishas, faeries, and so forth to be a part of the universe, as they would be both a part of Spirit and able to be individual.

THAT all said, to support a panentheistic view of the world while also supporting the belief in the existence of (at least) one separate godlike being is completely acceptable and even feasible.

Is your head spinning yet?!

Ellen: "It's like learning the Earth is indeed flat."

Indeed, Ellen. It is.

Erm... like learning that. The earth isn't actually flat.

... or is it. :P

[caption id="attachment_1432" align="aligncenter" width="509" caption="Symbols of Yemaya"][/caption]

As this started to settle in -- trust me, it's been a constant search, both philosophically and inward, to amalgamate the two (and let's face it, my head had to slow down a considerable bit to even come close to catching up with my brain) -- I have become more and more comfortable with the idea that, yes, I can hold steadfast to my panentheistic belief while exploring a relationship with and devotion to Yemaya.

So begins this journey in my practice. Thank You, Yemaya, for showing yourself to me through Christian, and for allowing me to bring You into my life. As a goddess of comfort and inspiration, I hope You don't mind that, as I continue to learn about and devote myself to You, I come to rely on Your comfort and inspiration. I promise it'll be worthwhile! ;)

Yemaya, Blessed Mother of the Seas,
Let Your Sacred Waters wash over me.
Mother, embrace me, Your humble child.
Cleanse me, Nurture me, Sustain me.
Yemaya, Beautiful One.
You Who wears the Seven Skirts of the Seven Seas,
Swirl around me and create a flow of energy
that can wash away all bane.
Yemaya, Mistress of the Moon,
Shine Your light onto me,
And fill me with your magic.
Help me to accomplish my goals
Yemaya, Healing Ocean Mother
I ask You to fill me with Your Healing Energy
Let Your Cleansing Waters wash over me
Heal me with Your Regenerative Powers.

CD6, Cycle 8: Lifting the Curse

So, C performed Shamanic healing on my yesterday, which was as enlightening as it was helpful. Here's what I gathered from it. (The most important one, the actual curse itself, I'm saving for last!)

I wasn't covered in nearly as many stones as my mom was. She had them all over the place, whereas I had only a few. The most poignant one was a big pink crystal he put on my head, right between my eyes. Maybe it was danubrite? I don't know, I'm not very good with stones. I really want to find out what it was, though, and get one to carry around with me. He had asked if I had a lot of things on my mind, and I asked if he was referring to in general or at that moment. I generally do, so I told him so (it's that pure-O OCD thing), and that's when he used it.

Then he started the healing. From the first journey C took, he learned that I have three spirits watching over me: An older male, an older female, and a female whose age range was not identified. I found this little bit off Wikipedia:

According to theosophical doctrine, spirit guides are not always of human descent. Some spirit guides live as energy, in the cosmic realm, or as light beings, which are very high level spirit guides. Some spirit guides are persons who have lived many former lifetimes, paid their karmic debts, and advanced beyond a need to reincarnate. Many devotees believe that spirit guides are chosen on "the other side" by human beings who are about to incarnate and wish assistance.

C mentioned that they're typically there to have the person living to finish their life's work, and some can be very insistent on this. Mine, on the other hand, are hanging back and just enjoying what's going on. There isn't really a lot of work to be done -- I'm wondering if the goal is to just lead a happy, fulfilling life. They all appeared pretty cheery!

I know they're not always of human descent, but I do wonder if the male is my paternal grandfather, who I never met. C spoke of him and the older woman as very happy, just coming along for the ride and wanting me to experience life and divinity.

He also looked into my totem or spirit animals, as I've never really known what they were. I've always been drawn to ravens and crows, but that's about it. Coming out of that trance, during which he had giggled a few times (;)), he said, "Okay, Disney girl!" I was like, "?!?!"

Apparently, I have several spirit animals! A bumblebee, crow, dolphins, a humpback whale that showed up for just a second, a hawk, and predominantly, a hummingbird. The crow might actually be from my mom, as that was her power animal (that, and a ram that was following her, haha). I've been doing research on each one since the healing yesterday.

And finally... what y'all have been waiting for. The curse. ;)

First, I have to mention that C brought up a name during my mom's healing, as this particular spirit was sitting next to me the whole time. Her name is Yemaya, a Yoruban Orisha or Goddess. She came into the fold yesterday, too, and has apparently been my guardian for some time. She wanted to be with C while he journeyed to the origination of the curse...

With Yemaya, C journeyed to the guy (I'm guessing he was a god or spirit, but I'mma keep calling him "guy") who placed the curse on everyone and their ancestors, and he kept saying that "they [me, my ancestors, and my descendants] have not suffered as we have suffered." C and Yemaya were trying to make the point that we have suffered, and that we've done so greatly. It also didn't entirely work as the bloodline was still having babies -- with difficulty, yeah, but having them nonetheless.

C noted that he brought Yemaya on my behalf, and they asked that the guy lift the curse for me and my descendants and ancestors. "I love this woman, and I want this curse gone."

The guy said (and I'm paraphrasing here, as I wasn't there!), "We do not honor Yemaya." And C was like, "Oh yeah? Then who do you honor?", thinking to himself, ah shit.

And the guy said he honored someone else, I forgot his name now, and he appeared. (C, by the way, has a rattle going and his eyes closed while journeying, and while he doesn't say anything out loud, his facial expression did change on occasion, and in a few instances, he laughed or giggled. This was one of those times.) The Orisha that this guy honors... was the same C works with!

So this Orisha, who is usually argumentative and wants to get down 'n' dirty, just kinda went, yeah, I'm staying out of this. And he remained neutral. Neutral! C was like, that's crazy and unlike him. He was expecting a fight.

After some prompting and the fact that, hey, the Orisha you honor is just kind of hanging back, the guy conceded and he lifted the curse. :)

Then C had to clear away the same constriction my mom had. While hers was more around her colon area, mine was around my ovaries and fallopian tubes, like they were being pinched off. So he took care of that and got my energy flowing again.

He also had me drink a bottle of water that he wanted to fill with my spirit, but Yemaya kind of went, "Nuh uh, I'll be most of it." So I drank of her. :) C also said that Yemaya was bugging him to make a watermelon shake, haha (her thing is watermelons!), so he made me (and himself and his partner) one after the healing. Most refreshing thing I'd had in a while!

I do have to go back because I have a couple spots that need work (auric shearing, for instance, that's common among performers) and he wants to do a soul retrieval. Plus, to follow up on this. So he wants to see me in a month. It's almost like a follow-up trip to the doctor. ;)

So yup, that was it. I really do hope this works. C says there should be improvement in the next month or two, so we'll see how it goes from there! In return, I'm helping him and his partner (quite exuberantly, I might add!) with their baby shower coming up this week. :) It is the absolute least I could do. <3

I'm also going to work on getting an altar together for Yemaya later today... I'm typically not pulled to do so as I don't typically recognize individual spirits or gods, but I feel a tug today. Hm...

ETA: Oh! As a recommendation, C also suggested I find something to tie around my waist for protection, something that I can wear to prevent a bit of auric shearing and as a dedication to Yemaya. So I've gotta get working on that, too!

CD5(?), Cycle 8: BE HEALED MY CHILD

I think I'm on CD5. No idea. Not really counting as, psh, nothing exciting is going on there, anyway.

BUT. Something else exciting DID happen over the weekend. My mom visited for a week, and before she left Sunday, we went to one of my friend's homes on Saturday and she received a Shamanic healing. She initially went there for a backache, but it ended up covering a lot more. I won't get into all the details, but I WILL get into one that actually concerns me, my family, and a centuries-long curse that has apparently been passed down every generation.

My friend (I'll call him C) did a lot on my mom to help her energy flow better, and while he was working, he would go in and out of these trances. During these, he would communicate with ancestors, spirits, totem animals, saints, and other figures who decided to join in and help, and would come out of these trances once in a while with some information for my mom. The healing lasted about 2.5 hours.

One of these bits surrounded a part he worked on for a while, her pelvic area. He had already put a bunch of stones down around her for various reasons, as he sensed a blocked area before even getting to work. No matter how many stones he put around, he didn't feel like they were making a difference.

At one point during his trance, he pulled out a drum and started trying to "beat out" the blockage. Apparently, he had seen what looked like thick, rusted iron screws in her hips -- a symbol that her energy's all stopped up there. So he had to remove it.

Either before or after doing so, I don't remember which, he said he had a vision brought from one of the spirits, one about a ship in an ocean and lots of despair surrounding it. He wasn't clear whether it was her in a past life or a distant ancestor, but apparently, in order to save resources on a trip to wherever they were going with a bunch of slaves on board, this guy was throwing the slaves' children and babies overboard. There was screaming, chaos, and anger, and these slaves were apparently well-versed in a religion that was not afraid to curse people, so they put a curse on him: That he and his descendants would have a difficult time conceiving.

To put things in perspective: My grandmother was one of four (one died as a child), my mom is one of three, I'm one of three, and we're all talking women who used no birth control and wanted heaps of children, but had a hard time conceiving. I also know that my mom and her siblings are all eight years apart (between my mom and her siblings, she has a brother 8 years older and had a sister 16 years older) with miscarriages between them, and my mom took four years to have me, immediately had my sister, and tried seven more years for my brother. And now, despite no obvious reasons, DH and I are having trouble. I also have a feeling my sister will have the same.

So yeah, we have a hard time as a family. :P

As my mom is done having children, he broke up that curse on her, but noted it won't be able to pass down to me or my siblings. After her healing, we scheduled one for me, haha. I'm actually going to that today. If I get it done, then I'll have broken that curse at least for my own descendants.

I don't know if y'all believe in stuff like that or not, and truth be told, I'm not sure, either. But I can tell you this: Whatever little bit helps, even if it's something like that, I'm absolutely willing to try. It can't hurt, after all.

So that's what's been going on around here. I go there tonight to have the shamanic healing done (and you KNOW I'm going to tell y'all about that!), then will spend the rest of the evening planning C's and his partner's baby shower. ;) Breaking a curse then helping with baby stuff? Yes, please!

CD4, Cycle 8

Seriously. Now where's my Valium...

Sorry, I know I've been MIA since my last post at 14DPO. Starting back over, hurrah. I'm now CD...4, right? Whatever.

DH is out on business until Thursday afternoon, and my mom left yesterday late morning. It's going to be so weird to go home to an empty house.

I'm not doing well today.

Sorry. :(

Also, a LOL:

Mourning the death of David Grega (but, but... he was *fat*!!)

In case y’all haven’t noticed, I’m a thin Pagan. Not, like, stick skinny, but definitely on the “thin” side. My apparent lack of cleavage is a testament to this fact. :P

I’ve never really been a “fat” Pagan, or a “fat” anything, for that matter. There was a point where I was technically overweight for my frame and body type, but (1) that’s not what I’d really call “fat” for anyone else save for myself, and (2) that was a result of not eating well, not exercising, and generally being a lazy POS. My weight went from the 120s to over 145 in a matter of two years, and in that time, I felt worse and worse due to #2.

(I know, I know. I can already hear people grumbling: “What the hell are you talking about, 145+ and feeling like that?!” But I have a point, I swear.)

The way I took it off wasn’t healthy, either. I was under a lot of stress at my old job, and I dropped weight faster there than in any year prior to that. We’re talking, all the way from about 140 to 116 by the time I left that job, and I only worked there for a year and a half. It was a lack of eating anything at all that got me to that point. While the public thought I looked good on the outside, the inside showed a very different story.

During that whole time when I was trying to lose weight, I met several people that, by medical definition and the much-abhorred BMI scale, were “fat”. And many of these people were, for all intents and purposes, much better off than I was. They ate better, they could sprint a set of stairs without being winded, and they often giggled (lovingly, of course) as I struggled to keep up. This post by Fat Pagan is an excellent reason why one should not be judged purely on size.

And I was the “thin” Pagan, the one who was supposedly in charge of my body and my diet and my life. When I finally did take charge, I gained, but not just weight: I gained health, vitality, and energy that I never knew before.

Truth be told, a Pagan’s (and anyone else’s) worth is not determined by body size, nor is it by any other defining physical feature. I’m no more witchy or special or pretty because I have curly hair (though I admit, it is faaaahbulous). A Pagan’s worth is determined by the way she carries that body, the way she treats it and herself as a whole and others, too.



I’ve read a lot of fat-hate (love how that post is titled “Normal”) and a lot of fat-defense on the internet since the passing of David Grega, a well-known and highly influential young man and member of the Pagan Centered Podcast, who died suddenly of cardiac arrest on 10 July. He was 27 years old – my age, actually. A life cut tragically short by an absolutely terrible medical issue.

In less notorious news, another friend of mine in Florida recently passed on 14 July due to a blood clot in his lung that broke loose. He died before they could get him back to ICU. He, like David Grega, was overweight.

I wouldn’t even mention their weight if it weren’t for the onslaught of posts as I described before. I wish we could just celebrate their lives, their achievements, and their contributions to the Pagan (and entire!) world. They were brilliant men who shared themselves and their crafts fully, and it’s heartbreaking to know they are no longer with us in the physical.

But instead of doing any of that, many people have instead resorted to offering platitudes on the surface while crying out about the “Pagan obesity epidemic” overall. Remember what I said about a Pagan’s worth? I’ve seen several show theirs as they continued to disrespect the way they have treated the death of David Grega.

I do understand that, as individuals and a community, we should strive to be the healthiest we should be. Walking or stretching ten minutes a day, swapping out a bag of chips for a (preferably organic!) apple, and offering a smile or a laugh with another person (after all, what’s the best medicine?) are all ways in which we can take steps towards a more positive and healthier life. As a community effort, encouraging others and even going along with them are admirable.

However, size itself does not beget health issues, nor does size prevent it. As I illustrated above, there was a point where I’d still be considered “thin” to the general public but led a terribly unhealthy life, where friends who weighed more than I did led – and currently lead! – lives for which I now strive. They were in optimal health despite their size, and despite my own, I was not.

It really stings, and it must affect others as well, when I read that “every body is still sacred” while simultaneously getting a very strong message that “fat =/= fit”. What kind of conflicting message does that send, that “sacred bodies” are those that only appear so, whether or not they actually are? As a community, are we more focused on actually getting healthy, or are we blinded by the same as rest of society, that “thin is in” and there’s no other way?

I know that this one post will not end this fat-shaming, nor will others that say essentially the same thing. But I do hope that, along with those who thing on the same line and who fight this battle every day, whether those fighters are fat, thin, and everywhere in between, it will teach us to love the bodies given to us by the deit(y/ies) in which we believe.

And for heaven’s sake, to leave it out of a time of mourning for someone lost to this world.

Death Prayer of Dave Grega
Composed by Lamyka

Harsh rapids flow
against banks of ice.
Your life and loss
carves scars into us all.

Yet now Lord and Lady guided,
softer shores abound.
Swifter currents yield
at happy gurgling sound.

Flow now as Life, Herself.
Be at Peace.
On now western shores
all hurts smoothed and gone.
Light of the Gods
wrap you warm.
Blessed Be.

(Thank you, Patheos and Lamyka.)

CD32, Cycle 7 - 13DPO

It's now (or tomorrow...?) or never. Or in nine or so months.

Or something.

... sorry, very existential there. This is to say, AF still hasn't arrived and I'm just waiting for her appearance at this point. I had one tiny spot each day from Tuesday to today, and my temp is below 98 (barely, but still).

I'm actually here more to tell you about three hilarious things at work recently. :) They REALLY amused me, so I hope they amuse you, too!

As a bit of background, I'm sure you can imagine we get a lot of suggestions for new charms from our customers. Some are like, hey, yeah, that's cool. Others are like, if we hear "butterfly" one more time...

So anyway, I can overhear the director of PR with a few people in her office, and one of the marketing people was talking about these two people.

The first... wanted to know if we could make a charm out of her husband's ashes. No lie.

The second... wanted to know if she could take all the dog hair she's been saving (she would collect it after every time she'd cut her dog's hair) and make THAT into a charm.

And my favorite. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard this one. We have three receptionists. One was on lunch, the other was getting her lunch. The third took this call. Some guy called up with a complaint and wanted to talk to someone. Receptionist couldn't reach the department, so she asked what the nature of the complaint was, if it was with the store or the product.

C(ustomer): "Uh, with both, kinda."
R(eceptionist): "Okay, can you describe your problem?"
C: "Well, while I was at the store, I purchased a bracelet, but the people at the store didn't tell me that I shouldn't put it on my penis."
R: "..."
C: "And now it's stuck. On my penis."
R: "Sir... have you called a hospital yet?"
C: "No, I called to complain. Your people didn't tell me this shouldn't go on my penis."
R: "I... sir, bracelets are typically worn on the wrist, not on the penis."
C: "But the store didn't say I couldn't. And my testicles are starting to bulge."
R: "Sir, I'm ending this call. You should seriously call the hospital."
C: "But I wanted to complain! They didn't say I shouldn't put it on my penis!"

OMG SRSLY

I still think the last one was a prank call, but you never know. Stupidity is more rampant than we think. At the very least, these are keeping me in good spirits. I just can't believe people sometimes, I swear.

Anyway, if anyone has any baby dust they don't mind sending my way... could you, please? I'm trying to hold out some hope for tomorrow and the next 40 weeks...

CD31, Cycle 7 - 12DPO

I swear, some part of me is thinking that I'm going to get AF as soon as I hit "post". Just because she's a royal flaming bitch like that. :P

I'm okay with it going either way. Maybe it's the wine from last night talkin', but I really am. I had bought the wine in full anticipation that AF would be here overnight, but she wasn't. Thankfully, I did POAS prior to that wine (around 7pm, about three hours of holdin' it?), and it was negative, so I was like HELLO WINE HOW ARE YOU.

It was very good wine. ;)

Why did I think AF was around the corner? Because I was CRAMPING like crazy. I honestly thought she was on her way. She still may be, too; I'm still having little cramps, backache, everything except the zOMG CARB cravings and, of course, AF herself. If she does arrive, I sure hope she's nice to me this cycle.

Anyway, I really have no news. I just needed to share that. My temp also jumped back up this morning, but it might be artificially high due to the wine last night, so I'm not really banking on it.

At the very least, my LP will be good enough.

Wednesday Perk-Up! (12-18 July)

Mmm... brew's on and smelling good! Hope y'all are ready for some delicious bits from all around the world, starting first with my favorite, local Pagans and their awesomeness!

My mom's been in town, so I'm sorry for the general lack of postings. I'd be a complete bitch, though, if I didn't serve y'all up some coffee. What kind of (web)host would be be then. ;)

(If you ever want to be featured in TCC's Wednesday Perk-Ups, by the way, just shoot me a message! I absolutely love including people in this!)

 


When Witches Go Riding Writing

Trish Veilleux: Remember When... You Raised Six Girls?

Okay, so she's not a Pagan writer, but she IS an incredibly talented woman with a multitude of inspiring stories about her family and friends. Trish has lived (and continues to live!) a full and exciting life, and she manages to find love wherever she goes. As one of six daughters, Trish shares the story of her mother and the trials and joys that have come out of raising so many girls in such a small space (and of being one of those little girls!).

Have I ever mentioned how incredibly talented she is?! I may have said it only a few sentences ago, but seriously, I could say it over and over again and still the words alone would cease to give her talent meaning. Y'all will just have to see for yourself. :)

Forgetting one's life is tragic - something we all hope will never happen to us or a loved one.  But for one woman, my mom, a beloved mother of six, it has happened.

This is a true story and a recounting of some of the ordinary and extraordinary moments that occurred in that very special woman's life while raising her children - all girls.

My illustrations represent some of the greeting cards created over the years to convey my love for her and my gratitude for all she did.

I will fully admit that I had tears in my eyes while reading this book. It is so touching and makes me pine for my own mom. I count myself blessed every day that I still have her.

(Currently only available on iPad, but trust me, Trish is working on other media! :) You'll hear it here first when she does!)

By the way, a portion of the proceeds will be going to Alzheimer's research!!

 

Eliora: Enchanting Elegance for your Magickal Life

An absolutely incredible Pagan artisan and very good friend, Eliora has a handcrafted gift to meet your every need! She has everything from besoms to altar accessories to gift sets, and everything in between! Be sure to check out her shop, I'm sure you won't be disappointed. :)



 

Tori Zigler: Special price on her books, “Mr. Pumpkin-Head and Other Poems” and “Witchlet”!

It's still July, so I'll continue posting about her books! Throughout the month of July, an excellent wordsmith and good friend Tori Zigler will be selling her books on SmashWords at half price! I personally own her collection of poems and will be taking advantage of her book, and y’all should, too!

To take advantage of this offer, simply go to my author page at http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/toriz and add one or both of my books to your cart, then enter the coupon code “SSW50″ at the checkout phase.  Since both books are half price, it’s basically an option for anyone who hasn’t got them yet to buy one of my books and get the other one for free! But this offer is only available throughout July, so don’t wait too long to take advantage of it, or you may miss your chance!

Psst... I also heard word that she's preparing other short stories for publication, so keep an eye out for those, too! Y'all know you're going to here about it here. ;)

 

Sam Curtin: “Dark Cell” novella on Amazon! FREE for a limited time!!

I just CANNOT get over the tenacity and passion this gal has for writing and for sharing her stories with others. To make sure you get a good dose of Sam (she's good for the soul and the heart!), she's running a mid-July promotion for her novella, Dark Cell, available on on Amazon... buy now for the low low price of $0.00! That's right, get her book for free!!

If you haven't done so yet, be sure to also check out her Facebook pages for news, discussion, and other fantabulous offerings!

• Samantha Curtin – Author


• Behind the Curtin Publications

And another inside scoop (I LOVE these, haha), she's working on a full-length novel, to be published through her publishing house! I'll be one of the first to get it, and I hope you'll be the second!

 

Colleen @ Urban Earthworm: Birth Story

(As she also warns... read at your own risk! ;))

I've been all about babies and birth stories lately for myriad reasons, and reading about friends' experiences just makes it that much better! I also hear her on the slew of baby announcements... I swear, it's just because of my age bracket (I'm in my almost-late-20s), but still! LOL

      There have been a slew of pregnancy announcements in my life lately.  It seems like half of my friends (or their significant others) are pregnant.  So many of the women who were pregnant at the same time I was are at it again.  I am so happy for everyone, but I’m also a little jealous.  I’m still waiting on my freaking jaw surgery before MacGyver and I can talk about our next one(s).

       With this slew of announcements, I’ve also gotten a lot of email, facebook messages, and phone calls asking about our homebirth and natural pregnancy and childbirth in general.  I’ve ended up promising a number of these friends that I would put my h0mebirth story back online for them to read.  Flintstone was born at home in September 2010, and this is how it happened (the birth part; get your mind out of the gutter)[...]

Such an incredible, moving, personal story from a wonderful friend! Thank you, Colleen, for giving us a glimpse into your amazing birth experience!

 


Food for Thought

Huffington Post: American Confidence in Organized Religion At All Time Low

According to a recent Gallup poll, the number of Americans who have faith in organized religion is at an all-time low.

Only 44 percent of Americans today have a lot of confidence in organized religion, compared to 66 percent in 1973 when organized religion or church was the highest rated institution in Gallup's "confidence in institutions measure."

Not that I'm terribly surprised. It seems that there's a lot less confidence in anything "organized" nowadays, so for religion to be added is just adding another to the pile.

Speaking of lack of confidence:

 

ONTD Political: 14 Reasons Why This is the Worst Congress Ever

1. They’re not passing laws.


2. They’re hideously unpopular.


3. They’re incredibly polarized.


4. They’ve set back the recovery.


5. They lost our credit rating.


6. They’re terrible even when they’re “super.”


7. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal.


8. The budget shenanigans of Senate Democrats.


9. They can’t get appropriations done on time.


10. The transportation-infrastructure fiasco.


11. The FAA shutdown.


12. Failing the Fed.


13. The experts agree.


14. There actually are problems they need to solve.

Can I just... leave it at that? Really? Okay, thank god...

 


Local Brew

I'm adding things happening in the next couple weeks around the Maryland area that local-to-me Pagans (and others!) might be interested in. If you'd like to share what's going on in your neck of the woods, let me know! I'd love to expand this to include several different places. :)

Every Sunday, 1:00pm-5:00pm: Open Hearth Foundation Pagan Book Drive
1502 Massachusetts Ave SE, Washington, DC  20003

Got Books? Got Tarot Decks?

We will be collecting donations of books, periodicals, and tarot decks at the OHF Library in the DC Pagan Community Center.

This event is for you because ...

We, Pagans, tend to love our books. However...

Maybe you have a few duplicates...

Maybe you have read a few once and just know you probably won't get to them again, but others will definitely enjoy them...

Maybe there are some you bought and just know you won't get to reading them and, really, books should be read...

Maybe you just don't have any more room and you know you have to make a sacrifice for the greater good...

The OHF Pagan Library is constantly building our collection and you can help! Stop by, bring us your books, check out the library!

The Open Hearth Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Donations are tax deductible.

 

This weekend, 21-22 July - 2:00pm: SPAGnVOLA Chocolatier: Free chocolatier tours!
360 Main Street, Gaithersburg, MD  20878

Gaithersburg’s SPAGnVOLA Chocolatier is giving free tours of its factory at 2 p.m. on July 14, 15, 21 and 22 at 360 Main St. Those who take the tour will learn how chocolate is created, from the tree to the table.

The company’s cocoa beans are grown in the Dominican Republic. To RSVP for this event, email rsvp@spagnvola.com.

 

Friday, August 3 - 7:00pm-9:00pm: Full Circle UUCA: Full Moon Circle
Unitarian Universalist Church of Annapolis, 333 Dubois Road, Annapolis, MD  21401

This event is open to women and teen girls with their moms/adult female. UUCA's Full Circle program runs full moon circles for women each month at 7 pm on the Friday closest to the Full Moon. More info is available from Susi at sdf.c@comcast.net.

 

Decaffeinated: Blissful News

Yoga Today: The Most Difficult Pose: Savasana?



Regular yoga practitioners just may feel me on this one. As difficult as some of the poses can be, they don't even come close to lying down and relaxing. Funny, how the one pose that seems to have the least amount of work actually can take some of the most!

To truly find savasana, total relaxation, takes years and years of practice and it’s much more subtle than sleep or even rest. It demands the student to be fully present and that’s not an easy task. Therefore, be patient with yourself.

 

This Month in Holidays

Be sure to check out our NASA Goddard-provided list!

(Thank you to HolidayInsights.com for this list!)

Month:

• National Blueberry Month


• National Anti-Boredom Month


• Unlucky Month for weddings


• National Cell Phone Courtesy Month


• National Hot Dog Month


• National Ice Cream Month

Week Event:

• Week 2 Nude Recreation Week

Individual Days:

1 Build A Scarecrow Day (first Sunday in month)
1 Canada Day
1 Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day
1 International Joke Day

2 I Forgot Day
2 World UFO Day

3 Compliment Your Mirror Day
3 Disobedience Day
3 Stay out of the Sun Day

4 Independence Day (U.S.)
4 National Country Music Day
4 Sidewalk Egg Frying Day (YOU DON’T SAY)

5 Work-a-holics Day (even though everyone is on holiday)

6 National Fried Chicken Day

7 Chocolate Day
7 National Strawberry Sundae Day

8 Video Games Day

9 National Sugar Cookie Day

10 Teddy Bear Picnic Day

11 Cheer up the Lonely Day
11 World Population Day

12 Different Colored Eyes Day
12 Pecan Pie Day

13 Barbershop Music Appreciation Day
13 Embrace Your Geekness Day
13 Fool’s Paradise Day

14 Bastille Day
14 Pandemonium Day
14 National Nude Day

15 National Ice Cream Day (third Sunday of the month)
15 Tapioca Pudding Day
15 Cow Appreciation Day (go out and give a cow a hug)

16

17 Peach Ice Cream Day
17 Yellow Pig Day

18 National Caviar Day (something’s fishy here)

19 National Raspberry Cake Day

20 Moon Day
20 Ugly Truck Day- it’s a “guy” thing

21 National Junk Food Day

22 Hammock Day
22 Parent’s Day  (fourth Sunday in July)
22 Ratcatcher’s Day

23 National Hot Dog Day
23 Vanilla Ice Cream Day

24 Amelia Earhart Day
24 Cousins Day

25 Culinarians Day
25 Threading the Needle Day

26 All or Nothing Day
26 Aunt and Uncle Day

27 Summer Olympics (every 4 years)
27 Take Your Pants for a Walk Day

28 National Milk Chocolate Day

29 National Lasagna Day

30 National Cheesecake Day
30 Father-in-Law Day
31 Mutt’s Day

 


Espresso Shots: News with a Kick!

More Rape Culture Articles

• Defining a Rape Culture (pdf)


• FORCE: What is Rape Culture?


• FORCE: Rape Myths


• Marshall Women's Center: Rape Culture


• A Division by Zer0: Feminists don't think all men are rapists. Rapists do.


• NYT: Teaching Good Sex (not 100% rape-related, but a good read nonetheless)

 

Craftster: Melted Bead Suncatcher

Okay, this is just cool! Cheap beads, an oven, and a baking pan are all you need to make these!

You'll need:

• a bag of cheap plastic beads, in whatever colors you want


• metal baking pans or ceramic dishes, in whatever sizes and shapse you want


• an oven (duh)

Method:

Preheat the oven to 350 F. Lay down a single layer of beads in the pan or dish and shove it in the oven for 20 minutes or until hardened -- keep checking so they don't burn.

After the beads cool, flip over the pan and gently coax your creation out. Drill a hole through the top, string some fishing line, and hang 'em!

I'm thinking this would be a fun project for kids, too!

CD29, Cycle 7 - 10DPO (and I'm feeling better :))

Thank you all for your sweet comments on my post last Friday. I was super frustrated, and reading your comments and your calls for luck really helped my mood improve. You are all so wonderful. <3

My mom came in to town Friday, so that picked my mood up, too! We've had a great time catching up. I hate that I have to be at work while she's here, but c'est la vie. She's got plenty to entertain herself anyway. ;)

DH was totally sweet over the weekend, by the way (when he wasn't pushing the last of my buttons... oh, PMS). We were talking to my mom about babies and pregnancy and kids and whatever, and at some point, he got really emotional and gave me this unprovoked hug, and was rubbing my belly like, "Make a babyyyyy!" My mom must have thought it was awkward, but she laughed as I said, "Hey, I'm workin' on it!!"

As you can see by my chart, my temp went up again today, which is encouraging. The one thing I'm worried about is that I might be 9 rather than 10DPO, and each cycle before this, I've had a peak at 9DPO that started to fall in little increments, then plummet the day of (or before) AF. So only time will tell. I'm hoping I'm 10DPO, at least! One of the downsides to not temping, haha.

While everything this cycle is pretty much the same (a little bloat, sore breasts, mood swings, some cramps, CM is about the same), there's one thing that's different: Lack of appetite. I'm usually craaaaaving carbs during my LP, but I've struggled to find an appetite at all this time. Hopefully that bodes well, but that's likely my body being a dick. :P

Oh, and I picked up some new prenatals from Trader Joe's yesterday. I only have to take ONE of those compared to the FOUR I had before. And it has even more vitamins! Soooo... once I finish these few bottles of prenatals, I'm switching. Because really... four freakin' pills a day?!

ETA: Also, I want to send our future kids to this: Peace Camp! :)

CD26, Cycle 7 - 7DPO (two 7s on Friday the 13th!)

Must be my lucky day! Cycle 7, 7DPO, and it's Friday the 13th! I love today. ;)

Another day without temping, which is totally cool by me. O's confirmed, so no need to stress about the rest.

One thing I absolutely hate is how hot my body gets during my LP. I tend to run low a lot of the time (as you can tell by my charts!), so even 0.5 degrees makes a huge difference. Like today, I was fanning myself off in awesome attorney-boss' office while we were discussing something*, and I had to pull my hair up and off my neck, it was so blasted hot.

It's probably 72 degrees in this office. :P

*What were we talking about? Kids! From private vs. public school to potty training to little girl clothes to languages and... I love that I can talk to him so openly about all that, haha. It makes me even more baby-crazy, but hey, not like I wasn't already, right?

Oh yeah, and I ran two baby girl names by DH, and he pretty much shot them both down. A friend from TCOYF suggested Sophie and Olivia, and they both sound awesome with the middle name I want (Ann) and our last name, so I ran them by DH.

I kinda like Sophie, but I already told you I didn't like Olivia.  I can tell you right now that I wouldn't agree to either for our child.  We'll come to this when we find out the gender of our first child, whenever the hell that ends up being > : (

Siiigh... I know, this is taking forever, and I'm frustrated, too. It feels like it, at least. Seven cycles down... we'll get really worried once 12 hits. But NGL, I'm already a little perturbed. :|

DH will have an SA sometime in August. He has a urology appointment set for 3 August, which is bad because that's my next fertile period... he can have his junk checked, but the SA itself may have to wait until I confirm O. Grr.

If that ends up being okay, then I guess... when 12 months comes along, we'll get my junk checked, too. I'm actually pretty afraid of that prospect, as it's a lot more invasive than "Here's a cup and a Playboy magazine, have at it". I don't want all those tests, but if we have to do it, then we have to do it.

Sadly, even if we did, the cause likely wouldn't be problems with ovulation itself (apparently, I ovulate just fine!) but with possibilities like blocked fallopian tubes, insufficient lining (I don't think that's a problem...), issues with my FSH levels, and who knows what else. A lot more going on for me than for DH, that's for sure.

I almost want to go to the midwife after 9 cycles if there's no success. Why drag it out any longer? DH's SA results will be in by then, we'll have been trying that long without protection, we're charting and timing intercourse well, and just... I'd rather know sooner than later. Really, I wanted to get checked at 6 months, but I want DH to get his spunk checked first. That's the easiest part. ;)

Honestly, when I started this blog, I didn't think I'd be adding "Cycle 7" to my list of categories. Hell, I didn't think I'd be adding even "Cycle 3". I was more hopeful than not, and each cycle that goes by, I just feel like our hopes are dashed and our patience is wearing thin. I know we're a couple of the lucky ones who haven't yet been trying for years, but I don't want to try years. I didn't even want to try for months. And now we're looking at possible infertility?

We're probably worrying too early about that. But really, how early is "too early"? When do we stop hoping and start worrying? At this point... I'm going with right-the-fuck-now. We're doing everything right, and yet we're still here.

... I'm done ranting. It got to be a lot more than I thought it'd be. Guess I'm more emotional about this than I thought (and DH is, too, for that matter). :(

Wednesday Perk-Up! (05-11 July)

I'm one of those "to the ends of the internet!" types who finds random articles and saves them for discussion. Unfortunately, those articles never actually get discussed, so they instead sit in their lonely Firefox tab, waiting for me to hover my mouse over their URLs and share with you all!

It hit me recently just how many of those tabs I tend to have open... certainly far too many, a sure sign of my procrastination. Today's count is a lowly 10, but believe me, I've once had so many tabs that I had to open up a new browser! (Thereby causing another problem: Having to go not only through different tabs, but through different windows, too. Too much hassle, way too many tabs.)

Inspired by all these blasted tabs and mostly by Kallan's Sunday Stews (which are delicious and nutritious and packed full of vitamins and minerals to get you through your week!), I'd like to start weekly postings with things I find around the internet related to faith, food, and fun that I think might interest y'all. I may or may not include personal commentary... depends how I'm feeling. ;)

So with that, welcome to Wednesday Perk-Ups at The Coexist Cafe, a collection of articles to pique your interest and fuel your mind! Almost as addictive as caffeine, half the calories. (But who's counting, right?)

 

When Witches Go Riding Writing

Tori Zigler: Special price on her books, "Mr. Pumpkin-Head and Other Poems" and "Witchlet"!

Throughout the month of July, an excellent wordsmith and good friend Tori Zigler will be selling her books on SmashWords at half price! I personally own her collection of poems and will be taking advantage of her book, and y'all should, too!

To take advantage of this offer, simply go to my author page at http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/toriz and add one or both of my books to your cart, then enter the coupon code "SSW50" at the checkout phase.  Since both books are half price, it's basically an option for anyone who hasn't got them yet to buy one of my books and get the other one for free! But this offer is only available throughout July, so don't wait too long to take advantage of it, or you may miss your chance!

 

Sam Curtin: "Dark Cell" novella now on Amazon, and she's all around Facebook!

Another up and coming Pagan writer and dear friend of mine! Her novella just went through an overhaul so it can be easily read on your Kindle or other mobile device. And at $0.99, it's a steal. I own it, I've read it, and I love it... and I know you will, too!

After being wrongly imprisoned for the murder of two Gorgan children, a Crizenian by the name of Ness is broken out by two teenage boys. The boys then embark on a fantastical journey full of magic, suspense and corruption to prove Ness' innocence.

You can also find Sam around Facebook (and may I be the first to say, I LOVE the play on her last name for her publishing house!):

• Samantha Curtin - Author


• Behind the Curtin Publications

 

Renee Olson: Dealing With Anger

In a post that seeks to reason whether we truly need to "forgive and forget", Renee shares with us an insightful and raw post about anger and how to manage it. What does it mean to "forgive and forget"? Is this something we're absolutely mandated to do? What about the Wiccan Rede... if bound by it, does forgiving and forgetting harm us?

At times I find myself at odds with protecting myself and with my religion.  As a solitary follower of Hecate, I don't have a great deal of dogma associated with my faith.  I don't have to forgive as instructed by the Christian Bible or even as Buddha suggested in the story about the man who spit in the face of another.

It is said that Hecate does not forgive easily and she holds a grudge.  As Goddess of the Witches, Hecate holds a special place for me, and is why I believe she chose me.  You see, I need someone to watch over me and protect me.  I need that extra dose of confidence.  I believe that's why she's here with me.

Thank you, Renee, for such a thoughtful post. Head on over to share your own thoughts!

 

Featured Podcast: The Wigglian Way

I swear, it's not just because we just visited Canada that I'm obsessed with all things Canadian, including their Pagans. I have been for years, at least this duo, Mojo and Sparrow of the Wigglian Way. I started listening to their podcasts back when I was a wee little witch, and while I took a little hiatus (I was having a hard time syncing up my iTunes, not anything against them!), I was delighted to see they were still on the air.

In fact, they're not just on the air... they've exploded! Having recently celebrated their 100th episode, they had a rowdy good time on that show -- seriously, if you listen to no other podcast of theirs, please at least listen to that one. ;)

Their topics are engaging, their music stylings are amazing (did you know Mojo was a musician?!), and their delivery is flawless. They're an amazing team, something you'll discover the first time you listen to them. Love these guys!

 

Food for Thought

Mark Bittman: A Chicken Without Guilt (Finally, Fake Chicken Worth Eating)

I'm no stranger to the lauding of fake meat products as a way to eat more ethically, but I'll admit that converting people over to the veggie side is difficult when fake meat in fact tastes so... well, fake. Not that it's a bad thing -- I've personally come to prefer chik'n over chicken, veggie burgers over cheeseburgers, and the like.

But if your average carnivore is anything like Matt, you'll know that you tend to prefer the "real" stuff! And finding a suitable replacement is all but impossible, even if your desire to eat ethically only makes you feel guilty as you give a mock smile while "enjoying" your mock meat.

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="225"] Even I'm impressed with this stuff![/caption]

Then I came across this article by Mark Bittman, arguably one of my favorite food bloggers around the 'net. And he's omni! In his quest to find delicious, satisfying, cruelty-free or -reduced food, he's tried his fair share of soy and tempeh and seitan, about as much as any non-vegetarian can take. When he came across this fake chicken product, he had his doubts:

[I]n October I visited a place in The Hague called The Vegetarian Butcher, where the “butcher” said to me, “We slaughter soy” — ha-ha. The plant-based products were actually pretty good — the chicken would have fooled me if I hadn’t known what it was — and I began to consider that it might be better to eat fake meat that harms no animals and causes less environmental damage than meat raised industrially.

And about fake chicken in general:

I love good chicken, but most of the chicken we eat doesn’t qualify, and the question becomes more compelling as meat imitators gain sophistication. The vegetarian meat I ate in The Hague isn’t widely distributed, but Quorn, a mushroom-based product, can be pretty appealing in some instances, Gardein has made some advances in soy-based products and at least one new product is a better-than-adequate substitute for chicken in things like wraps, salads and sauces. I know this because Ethan Brown, an owner of Savage River Farms, came to my house and fooled me badly in a blind tasting.

[Editor's Note: He was fooled not once, but twice, and this is a guy who does this stuff for a living!]

 

Decaffeinated: Blissful News

This Month in Holidays

Be sure to check out our NASA Goddard-provided list!

(Thank you to HolidayInsights.com for this list!)

Month:

• National Blueberry Month


• National Anti-Boredom Month


• Unlucky Month for weddings


• National Cell Phone Courtesy Month


• National Hot Dog Month


• National Ice Cream Month

Week Event:

• Week 2 Nude Recreation Week

Individual Days:

1 Build A Scarecrow Day (first Sunday in month)
1 Canada Day
1 Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day
1 International Joke Day

2 I Forgot Day
2 World UFO Day

3 Compliment Your Mirror Day
3 Disobedience Day
3 Stay out of the Sun Day

4 Independence Day (U.S.)
4 National Country Music Day
4 Sidewalk Egg Frying Day (YOU DON'T SAY)

5 Work-a-holics Day (even though everyone is on holiday)

6 National Fried Chicken Day

7 Chocolate Day
7 National Strawberry Sundae Day

8 Video Games Day

9 National Sugar Cookie Day

10 Teddy Bear Picnic Day

11 Cheer up the Lonely Day
11 World Population Day

12 Different Colored Eyes Day
12 Pecan Pie Day

13 Barbershop Music Appreciation Day
13 Embrace Your Geekness Day
13 Fool's Paradise Day

14 Bastille Day
14 Pandemonium Day
14 National Nude Day

15 National Ice Cream Day (third Sunday of the month)
15 Tapioca Pudding Day
15 Cow Appreciation Day (go out and give a cow a hug)

16

17 Peach Ice Cream Day
17 Yellow Pig Day

18 National Caviar Day (something's fishy here)

19 National Raspberry Cake Day

20 Moon Day
20 Ugly Truck Day- it's a "guy" thing

21 National Junk Food Day

22 Hammock Day
22 Parent's Day  (fourth Sunday in July)
22 Ratcatcher's Day

23 National Hot Dog Day
23 Vanilla Ice Cream Day

24 Amelia Earhart Day
24 Cousins Day

25 Culinarians Day
25 Threading the Needle Day

26 All or Nothing Day
26 Aunt and Uncle Day

27 Summer Olympics (every 4 years)
27 Take Your Pants for a Walk Day

28 National Milk Chocolate Day

29 National Lasagna Day

30 National Cheesecake Day
30 Father-in-Law Day
31 Mutt's Day

 

Yoga Today: Find Your Cosmic Dancer



 


Espresso Shots: News with a Kick!

Smiling Silversmith: Coffee Ring for Coffee Lovers

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Uh. Ma. Zing.[/caption]

OMG, are you serious?! This thing is INCREDIBLE!! I want to make it mine!

My birthday is in November, in case anyone's wondering... 6.75, please... ;)




ONTD: Is it wrong to call this 20-year-old who punched a street harasser a hero?

A very emphatic FUCK NO!! If anything, that's awesome!

WARNING
This particular shot might be triggering due to talk of rape threats.

Look. Rape culture is one of my sticking points, a topic that (aside from food and faith, of course) speaks to me on a very intimate level. So when I hear that someone got exactly what was coming to them, a swift punch in the face in response to a terrifying threat? I can't help but cheer to myself while fighting back the urge to shout this good news from the rooftops.

The fact that this kind of talk is still accepted and even perpetuated by the mistaken notion that women (and other gendered victims) are the cause of rape, as they "had it coming" or were "leading on" the perpetrator" or other such vile excuses, is exactly why this problem is so prevalent.

In response to some asshole who, after a noticeably drunk girl quickened her pace from a couple leering men, said that "Fucking cunt, [he'd] take her into the back alley and show her what [he's] made of", Kelsey of the now-defunct Tumblr Ignite My Thoughts swung around and decked him right in the face, succeeding in injuring her hand and, much more importantly, bruising the asshole's ego:

"I hope your mother/girlfriend/sister/friends/everyone asks what happened to your nose. I hope you have to explain that you thought it'd be funny to joke with your friend about raping the drunk girl across the street. I bet you didn't think that the girl who was walking in front of you would turn around and punch you in the face. You're a filthy piece of shit and I don't regret this at all."

Now she's not only facing possible charges for her act -- she willingly went to the police station and turned herself in after learning that her Tumblr went viral -- but the responses she received were absolutely abhorrent. Of note:

"Hey you crazy bitch, he was joking about rape, not raping the drunk bimbo, not even plotting on raping her, he was JOKING," one person wrote. "Wow. And you seem proud of what you did. Seriously, you're the one who deserves to get raped."

The message that comes across here is that women take rape threats too seriously, don't lighten up in the face of direct threats of physical violence, and need to shut their mouths and just realize that he was joking zOMG why are you so sensitive. Arguments that, as an astute LJer already pointed out, are linked to a well-known reaction called gaslighting.

And don't even get me started on the degrading language this, ah... gentleman had for a woman who happened to drink. I imagine a man who did the same would also be called a "bimbo", yes?

Anyway, I could go on and on about this topic, but I'll let it rest for now. Don't want that espresso to taste too bitter. For additional recommended reading, check out:

• Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced


• Men: Help stop public harassment


• Rape Culture 101


• MenCanStopRape.org