Pregnancy: 10w1d

The time really is flying now. I'm 1/4 of the way through!

... it's enough to make me want a nap. ;)


Cravings: Um... nothing, really. It changes day by day. Mostly sweets, though.

What I love: That everything seems to be going well! [Same]

What I hate: Morning sickness! Fortunately, it’s starting to wane. Eating is still pretty difficult — I have to take it slowly and really breathe through some of the nausea — but it’s at least leveled out. [Same]

What I miss: Being able to eat normal food at a regular pace.

What I’m looking forward to the most: This morning sickness being over and done with. :P [Same!]

Worries: That it won’t stick. That’s a big worry right now. [Same]

Symptoms: Morning sickness/nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, frequent urination, sore breasts.The m/s and breast tenderness are actually fading a bit, which freaks me out AND makes me feel better. WTF? But now I pee at 2am! [Same]

Mood: Good! No mood swings, nothing really out of the ordinary. I actually feel more mellowed out. [Same]

Sleep: It was awful this week. Probably because DH wasn't home. I've noticed that the severity of my m/s is directly related to how much quality sleep I get.

Movement: Um, none. Way too early for that. LOL [Same]

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: Off! But not because of what you’d think. It’s cooler out, so my engagement ring spin. I end up taking it off during the day, lol. [Same]

Waist (measured at the belly button: No way to measure. I really should start doing this, lol. [Same... apparently, I never learn... even still!!]

Milestones: 10 weeks! 1/4 of the way through!!

Best moment of the week: DH coming home from business. Best sleep ever. ;)

How your baby's growing:

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

How your life's changing:

At your next prenatal visit, you may be able to hear your baby's rapid heartbeat with the help of a Doppler stethoscope, a handheld ultrasound device that your practitioner places on your belly. Many women say that the beating of their baby's tiny heart sounded like the thunder of galloping horses and hearing it for the first time was very moving.

Before you got pregnant, your uterus was the size of a small pear. By this week, it's as big as a grapefruit. You may or may not be ready for maternity wear now. Even if you're not there yet, your regular clothes are probably feeling uncomfortably tight and your blossoming breasts are straining the seams of your bra. The thickening in your midsection is most likely due to slight weight gain and bloating. If you're between regular and maternity clothes, pants and skirts with forgiving elastic waistbands (or low-rise waistlines that sit below your belly) will provide some much-needed comfort.

Depending on your level of fitness, you can most likely participate in a wide range of activities during pregnancy. Swimming and walking are excellent choices for the whole nine months. Exercise promotes muscle tone, strength, and endurance — three qualities that can help you carry the weight you gain during pregnancy, prepare you for the physical stress of labor, and make it easier to get back into shape after your baby is born. (Unfortunately, there's no evidence that regular exercise shortens labor.)

Dealing with evening sickness "My version of morning sickness developed every evening around dinnertime. I couldn't eat anything, but I was starving (and cranky) nonetheless. Things improved after I adjusted my schedule, eating my big meal in the morning and something light — usually crackers and cheese or cereal — for dinner." — Susan

Pregnancy: 9w6d - Inspirational

Pregnancy: 9w5d (yes, I adjusted to fit my midwifery practice's date) -Flat nipples

So now I have to go through all my tickers and change them. ;) I figure, the midwives are going to keep that date, so I might as well adjust. It's just a day.

Anyway, at my first official midwife appointment, I was told by the midwife (there are a number in the practice) that I have flat nipples. As a different midwife from the same practice had already told me this at the beginning of the year when I had my pap done, this didn't come as much of a surprise.

What DID come as a surprise was, after doing some research, how flat nipples could be a hindrance in breastfeeding. The midwife had mentioned that and suggested I visit the lactation consultant in my late second, early third trimester, which I'm absolutely going to do. She didn't scare me with "you won't be able to breastfeed" stuff, since they advocate for that and I'm sure I'll still be able to, but it still worries me a bit.

She also recommended nipple shields, which I'm definitely going to look into. Anything to help. :)

In other news, it's early, but I think I can already feel my uterus. It's WEIRD. Like this hard, round thing just over my pubic bone. Kind of exciting. :)

I'd write more, but I'm actually really tired and I have a ton of work to plow through, so... some other time, I'll talk about this really weird craving I've been having, and how it's turning into an existential crisis of sorts.

Pregnancy: 9w1d - My first true mood swing

I had my first true mood swing today. I had a half-assed nap and a headache followed closely behind, and I was in a pretty pissy mood as a result. I'm still a bit meh.

DH has been bothering the shit out of me since I woke up, so at some point, I kept threatening to throw a pen at him. Not hard or anything, I was mostly teasing while actually throwing the pen. :P At some point, he was like, I'm a baby! Are you going to throw things at our baby?!

And I started laughing. So hard that I could barely get out, "You were... a bad... baby and... you... deserve it!" Then I started crying with laughter. Like, literally from 0-60 in about .02 seconds. DH was impressed -- I had tears streaming down my cheeks, my face was all scrunched up and red, and I was gasping for breath.

I don't know what the hell happened, but it was so fast and so unexpected! And now... I'm just kinda normal.

WTF hormones!

Pregnancy: 9w - The belleh!

Because I'm wearing a tight shirt and, really, why not. I'm starting to get a little self-conscious about it, but it's also like... I SWEAR there's baby in there! LOL

Pregnancy: 9w

It just hit me and DH yesterday that I'm 9 weeks. While I'm still a little anxious because I have no idea what's going on in there, the m/s and tiredness and aversion to all things coffee keep me convinced that all is well. ;)

Y'all remember C, who did my Shamanic healing about, oh, 9 weeks ago? He was at last night's Pagan meetup, where a friend and I hosted a group Mabon ritual. (That, by the way, was an absolute blast, and I think everyone enjoyed it!) He brought his baby boy, now 6 weeks old, and I spent a good part of last night with him in my arms. He was so tiny and precious! I did end up telling C last night that I was pregnant, how far along I was, and that I had him to thank for it. He counted back 9 weeks and laughed!

Anyway, as I was holding the baby, I had this baby sway going on, and he didn't cry once as I held him, fed him, and patted a couple good burps out of him. He totally spit up on me, and I loved it. :D C kept saying that he was so, so happy for me, and that I was going to be an awesome mom.

... it's enough to make me tear up now!

So yeah, that was definitely a beautiful night. How Spirit has blessed us. :)

I'm starting to show now, too. Not like, baby, but definitely "HEY WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR STOMACH? YOU NEED TO DO CRUNCHES." It's making me really self-conscious. Yikes!

Now for the survey!


Cravings: SUSHI. Give me some motherfucking sushi. I can still eat it, as my only real options are veggie-based. ;)

What I love: That everything seems to be going well! [Same]

What I hate: Morning sickness! [Same] Fortunately, it's starting to wane. Eating is still pretty difficult -- I have to take it slowly and really breathe through some of the nausea -- but it's at least leveled out.

What I miss: DH. He's coming home from a business trip today(!!), but he'll be gone again next week. Le sigh.

What I’m looking forward to the most: This morning sickness being over and done with. [Same!]

Worries: That it won’t stick. That’s a big worry right now. [Same]

Symptoms: Morning sickness/nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, frequent urination, sore breasts. [Same, but better] The m/s and breast tenderness are actually fading a bit, which freaks me out AND makes me feel better. WTF? But now I pee at 2am!

Mood: Good! No mood swings, nothing really out of the ordinary. I actually feel more mellowed out. [Same]

Sleep: It’s okay. Could be worse! [Same] Vivid dreams and night pees are now pretty regular occurrences.

Movement: Um, none. Way too early for that. LOL [Same]

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: Off! But not because of what you'd think. It's cooler out, so my engagement ring spin. I end up taking it off during the day, lol.

Waist (measured at the belly button: No way to measure. I really should start doing this, lol. [Same... apparently, I never learn... even still!!]

Milestones: 9 weeks!

Best moment of the week: I got the sweetest text from DH over the week. I still melt when I read it. :) It really does my heart good that he's so excited for everything. Also, I held a baby for at least an hour last night!

How your baby's growing:

Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

How your life's changing:

You still may not look pregnant even if your waist is thickening a bit. You probably feel pregnant, though. Not only are morning sickness and other physical symptoms out in full force for most women, but you may feel like an emotional pinball as well.

Mood swings are common now — it's perfectly normal to feel alternately elated and terrified about becoming a parent. Try to cut yourself some slack. Most women find that moodiness flares up at around six to ten weeks, eases up in the second trimester, and then reappears as pregnancy winds to a close.

When to break the news at work "I waited until after the first trimester to tell my boss. By then I wasn't as worried about something happening to the baby and had time to think about a maternity leave plan." — Kristin

Decision Guide: When to tell at work?

Some women spill the baby beans at work right away. Others wait as long as they can for fear that their pregnancy will affect how their boss or co-workers view them. Many women wait until they're in their second trimester, when their pregnancy is well established and the risk of miscarriage has declined significantly. What's the best time for you to announce? Here are some factors to consider:

Are you having any complications? If you are, and you have frequent visits to your caregiver or are very preoccupied, you might feel relieved if you told your colleagues early in your pregnancy.

How sick are you? If you're suffering from near-constant nausea or frequent vomiting, you may have to tell your supervisor about your pregnancy earlier than you'd prefer. Before you tell her, figure out what you want: Compassion? Time off? A flexible schedule until you get through the worst of it? Ask for what you need and then assure her that most women feel better by the end of the third month.

Is your job strenuous or potentially dangerous? For your baby's sake and your own, you'll probably want to come clean early on. Making your announcement right away will allow you to talk about changing your job responsibilities in a timely manner.

Will your supervisor and colleagues be supportive? This will depend on your workplace culture, the extent to which your workplace has been affected by other women's pregnancies, and your relationship with your supervisor. If you're confident that your employer will handle the news in a professional manner, announcing your pregnancy early means you can take advantage of any employer-provided services that can help make your pregnancy healthier and less stressful.

Unfortunately, some employers may be less than enlightened about pregnant employees. If you're concerned about your employer's reaction, proceed cautiously, and consider waiting to tell your boss until you're starting to show. You might also want to quietly take aside a colleague who's been pregnant at work and ask her how she was treated.

Finally, be aware of your legal rights. A federal law called the Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) prevents covered employers from firing, demoting, or compensating women differently just because they're pregnant. In addition, many states have similar laws that prohibit discrimination against pregnant women.

What do most women do? Here's when thousands of BabyCenter members announced their pregnancies at work:

• 23 percent spilled the beans right away.


• 23 percent waited a few weeks until they absorbed the news themselves.


• 36 percent waited until after their first trimester.


• 14 percent waited until they started to show.

The good news: The vast majority had a positive experience — 83 percent said their boss was supportive when they revealed their baby news.

Faith, Pain, and Redemption: A look at violence in select Christian teachings

As most of you know, I came from a pretty strict Roman Catholic household and attended church services and education classes throughout my youth. While it wasn't until I was around thirteen that I found a path that spoke directly to me, I was no stranger to questioning the faith in which I grew up. In fact, it would drive my CCD teachers (and my parents!) insane, all the questions I had and the skepticism I held.

My long-standing question has always been: Why does God want us to suffer? What's with the amount of violence that surrounds Biblical stories and the stories of human nature?

Don't get me wrong! The entire of the Catholic/Christian belief system is not all doom-and-gloom, you're-gonna-die-and-burn-in-HELL. But for all the talk of love and compassion that their followers eschew, there sure is a lot of violence surrounding two pretty poignant parts of this faith that set up a pretty stark future for Christian-associated violence: The crucifixion of Jesus Christ and the inherent or learned evil tendencies of our souls.



Crucifixion of Jesus Christ

I have always wondered what kind of parent would demand such a sacrifice from their own child, especially God and his only Earth-bound living Son and for the purpose of providing salvation for His followers at the cost of someone's life. This leads to really uncomfortable follow-up questions, like if this sets precedent for parents to kill their own children in the name of God. (And in some cases, yes, this has happened. While I realize these people were not all mentally there, I'm so sad that there are so many appropriate links for this subject.)

The fact that Jesus was sacrificed, whether by divine hand or not, was not at all a surprise: Considered a heretic in his day, there were a lot of people (righteously or otherwise) genuinely pissed at the idea of some hippie coming in and saying, among other things, that you didn't need temple or church to pray to God, you just needed to talk to Him yourself, and that he was indeed the Son of God. To usurp that kind of Roman power and to make what anyone would imagine were wild claims pretty much deigns you nothing more than someone who must be eliminated to keep their idea of peace.

In fact, Jesus foretells his death and resurrection (perhaps he saw the writing on the wall?) in Mark 9:30-37, telling his followers that his death and resurrection were to come. While it makes perfect sense that Jesus could tell something was coming (I mean, most opponents of the Romans often ended up dead), the mention of his resurrection and how detailed he was in how his death would play out suggests that this wasn't just the work of humans, but of a higher power with a bigger purpose than we could imagine.

That is to say, it was divine, that God set out to do this long before His own Son was born.

Creepy, innit? To think that a parent, even a divine one, would consider how his death would save so many of us, and to base an entire faith off this death.

You would think that, considering this is God we're talking about, there would be a more peaceful solution than offering a blood sacrifice, especially His own Son. That there would be a better way than to give his Son's life to the hands of a powerful culture hellbent on taking him out, and especially to get the wheel turning. Especially since this means to an end necessitates His Son experiencing some of the most graphic, almost Machiavellian displays of the human race's ability to destroy.

Despite this display, the New Testament repeatedly says something that continues to elude me to this day: That Jesus' crucifixion was actually a way by which God could save humanity, that the death of one could save so many others. It gives reason for something as gruesome as death, especially by such a measure.

It almost makes me wonder if this kind of violence really did normalize and even encourage violence as a means to peace. Not that this was at all a new concept. But no faith has been able to permeate modern culture the way Christianity has, and it's important to acknowledge that there has been an uptick in religious violence since the dawn of Christianity.

Does God like violence? Does He have no issue with using divine violence as a way to counter human violence? If neither of these, why does it feel like He resorts to or is complacent with the idea, especially when it comes to His own Son? Why not lay down the arms and fight violence with peace instead?

There is one interesting thing that comes out of Jesus' crucifixion: The fact that, in light of the foreshadowing that he will be killed at the hands of the powerful, he encourages his follows to let go of their own desires for power and to welcome those who are vulnerable and overlooked, to be the peacemakers after his ultimate sacrifice.

Now if only THAT was the focus rather than on his death, we may be living in a much different world today.



Hell (and "Hellbound?")


(Based off a new documentary that I hope to catch soon: Hellbound?)

Does hell exist? If so, who ends up there, and why? Featuring an eclectic group of authors, theologians, pastors, social commentators and musicians, “Hellbound?” is a provocative, feature-length documentary that will ensure you never look at hell the same way again!

Despite this ultimate sacrifice given by Jesus, meant as a way to save us from eternal damnation, there sure is a hell (ha!) of a lot of talk about gnashing of teeth and licking of flames surrounding our inherent natures or by predestination. After all, I thought most of this was mitigated when Jesus died for our sins, right?

Apparently not, according to some pastors. Mark Driscoll, for instance, says that "God created the world and people chose to rebel against him. And God came and died to save some of them from the death they deserve."

... doesn't really sound all that redemptive to me.

The idea of hell has always bothered me, that there could be a place with no hope and nothing but darkness and eternal torture for the rest of your afterlife. Why would a God, who so loves His children and creates us in His image, be okay with allowing this kind of torment for the rest of... well, forever?

Brian McLaren probably said it best: "If I believe that a small percentage of human beings were created to enjoy bliss eternally and another group of beings were created to experience eternal conscious torment, then I look at human beings differently than if I say, `Every human being was made in the image of God. Every human being is beloved by God. God is at work to save every human being.'"

Yup, two starkly different ways of looking at the world. One sees people as inherently good or inherently evil, and that they are destined to an afterlife regardless of their individual lives. The other says that all are special, all are loved, and all are destined to enjoy the afterlife.

I have an issue with these ideas on afterlife in general, the idea of hell and heaven as a way to divide us after we're dead and gone. I will full admit that I have no idea what happens, and live my life according to what is right, not based on fear of where I'll end up afterward.

But hell is something we generally don't escape in modern times. Whether it's an idea or part of our vernacular (how many times have you said, "Go to hell!" "What the hell?" "Hell no/yes!"), it's all around us, and has almost become normalized in today's culture.

Much like crucifixion, hell serves as yet another tool used by Christian faiths to control its followers, to market for new adherents, to give promise of something better after -- ahem -- "hell on Earth". And if God can control where we end up -- or if the Devil snatches us up and no way in... ah, hell is anyone going to come to our aid -- then there appears more cause for violence in society.

Having a belief in hell, at least in my experience, can fundamentally change the way people look at this world and how they end up treating themselves and their brethren, especially if one believes in predestination. There's some kind of horror that accompanies the thought that many that we love and care about suffer eternal torment, and the nonchalant way in which some Christians accept the idea that a great majority of us are, indeed, going there in a handbasket.

For some, the belief in hell should push us into being moral people, that the existence of a place where bad people go for all eternity might get us to wise up and get our shit together. But if one's motivation is fear, and that fear is perpetuated either by the idea that God can send us there, God doesn't give a crap if we end up there, God treats those of different faiths or different races or different personalities with so much disdain that we're headed there simply because we are, or God has already set that path for us before we were born, what kind of belief does that give us about a God who is all-loving?

And even worse, to deny the existence of hell is, in some people's eyes, to deny the Christian faith itself. So it really is a no-win situation.

Whether hell is fire or hell is nothing; whether we are to end up there based on our actions or by predestination, our very definitions of self; whether we are judged or we are saved... to believe in hell is, at its very core, to believe that some just aren't as good as others. And if that's the case, then why bother finding ways in which we can find the worth, good, and faith in others?

Pregnancy: 8w(whatever)d - Suddenly, SALAD!!

So I tried to stomach Olive Garden salad (and BREADSTICKS!!) last night. Salad in general just hasn't agreed with me lately -- and by "lately", I mean for the past month or so -- so I wasn't all that surprised when I felt crappy afterward and still feel crappy today.

But I came across this and it made me LOL, because it's SO TRUE. ERMAHGERD SALAD D:

L'Shanah Tovah from The Coexist Cafe!

I know I've been MIA for a while, but it's not from lack of trying or ambition, I swear. This time of year is especially hectic, from about the start of September through the end of the year, between Sabbats and High Holy Days and other celebrations.

Speaking of High Holy Days... last night kicked off Rosh Hashana!

Jewish Year 5773: sunset September 16, 2012 - nightfall September 18, 2012

 

Occurring on the first and second days of Tishri (the seventh month of the Jewish year), Rosh Hashana literally means "head of the year" or "first of the year", indicating what is commonly known as the Jewish New Year. It is one of the holiest days of the year and, while not named "Rosh Hashana" in the Bible (rather, it's referred to as Yom Ha-Zikkaron (day of remembrance) or Yom Teruah (day of sounding the shofar)), it is instituted in Leviticus 23:24-25.

Like the American New Year, Rosh Hashana is a time for making "resolutions" and turning to introspection, looking back at mistakes from the past year and planning changes to make in the new year. One custom is that of "casting off" or Tashlikh, when, on the afternoon of the first day, one walks to flowing water such as a creek or a river and casts off what is in one's pockets (often bits of bread crumbs) into the water, symbolically casting off sin. While it's not a tradition mentioned in the Bible, it's a long-standing custom.

Some other customs associated with Rosh Hashana:

• Shofar: Fashioned out of a ram's horn, the shofar is blown somewhat like a trumpet 100 times a day, with a total of four different types of notes: Tekiah, a 3-second sustained note; sevarim, three 1-second notes rising in tone; teruah, a series of short, staccato notes extending over a period of about 3 seconds; and tekiah gedolah (literally, "big tekiah"), the final blast that lasts about 10 seconds minimum.


• Work and Worship: No work is permitted on Rosh Hashana. The day is instead spent in synagogue, where the regular daily liturgy is expanded somewhat. A special prayerbook called the machzor is added to these daily liturgies as so many changes happen on this day (and Yom Kippur).


• Apples and Honey: As a symbol for a wish for a sweet new year, apples are dipped in honey and enjoyed with a touch of added sweetness. Bread is also dipped in honey at this time for the same reason. I recommend trying them both (and for you vegans, to swap out the honey for agave nectar)!


• Greetings: The common greeting during Rosh Hashana is "L'Shanah Tovah", literally "for a good year." This is a shortening of "L'shanah toval tikatev v'taihatem" (or "tikatevi v'taihatemi" to women), which means, "May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year."

So that all said, a very happy new year, may your new year be sweet, and a very happy 5773! :)

Pregnancy: 8w(2d?)

I had my first real midwife appointment today. It went really well! They drew more blood (YAY, NOT), did a head-to-toe physical, took a full history, asked and answered a bunch of questions, and generally took their time with me. I love this place. :)

They're actually going by the radiology report and my LMP for my EDD, so she kept saying 25 April (which is a day off my estimate) and 8w2d (which would make it 24 April, or two days off my estimate). For ease, I'm going to keep doing these weekly updates on Friday, assuming I'm anywhere between __w and __w2d. Confusing!!

Anyway, update!! Either 8w, 8w1d, or 8w2d. Whatever. ;)


Cravings: Potatoes in any form, though I've taken a renewed liking to salt and vinegar chips recently. I also crave sugar, though I'm trying (not very hard) to stay away.

What I love: That everything seems to be going well!

What I hate: Morning sickness! [Same] And bleeding! Because WTF!! I’m still spotting (brown), but I’m not gushing anymore, so that’s good?! [Also same]

What I miss: Nothing this week. If I did, it was all forgotten. [Same]

What I’m looking forward to the most: This morning sickness being over and done with. :P

Worries: That it won’t stick. That’s a big worry right now. [Same] Especially considering the bleeding. Ugh. [Also same]

Symptoms: Morning sickness/nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, frequent urination, sore breasts. It’s been pretty miserable ever since, and I feel it only getting worse. It’s terrible in the morning and at night. [Same] Some cramping that feels like the same uterine expansion as the past week. [Also same]

Mood: Good! No mood swings, nothing really out of the ordinary. I actually feel more mellowed out.

Sleep: It’s okay. Could be worse! [Same] LOTS of vivid dreams cropping up now. OH YEAH! And I had my first bout of needing to pee at night! Just once, early this week at 2am, but I was NOT THRILLED by that development. LOL

Movement: Um, none. Way too early for that. LOL [Same]

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: On! [Same]

Waist (measured at the belly button: No way to measure. I really should start doing this, lol. [Same... apparently, I never learn... even still!!]

Milestones: 8 weeks!

Best moment of the week: It all revolves around DH, as I'm generally feeling crappy. He keeps calling me babies (eee!) and sometimes gets more excited about this kid thing than I am. Also, our midwives love (if are a bit perturbed by ;)) him!

How your baby's growing:

New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.

How your life's changing:

You may notice that your bra is getting more snug. Soon you'll likely need a larger size with better support. Rising levels of hormones cause breast growth and other tissue changes, all in preparation for lactation. Your breasts may continue to grow throughout pregnancy. Don't be surprised if you go up a cup size or two, especially if it's your first baby. Keep this in mind, and allow for room to grow when investing in a new bra.

Feeling fatigued? Hormonal changes — in particular, a dramatic rise in progesterone — may be contributing to your sluggishness. Nausea and vomiting can certainly cost you energy, too. And you may be having trouble getting a good night's sleep at this point, especially if you're uncomfortable or find you need to get up to pee.

Walking to beat fatigue "Taking a short 15- to 20-minute walk helped me cope with the overwhelming fatigue that hit me in the first trimester. It was the only way I made it through a day at work without a nap!" —Gabriela

Pregnancy: 7w4d - Ultrasound! And fears.

I've included the ultrasound from my 6w6d appointment! :) (7w according to them, but I pride myself in being THAT CLOSE, haha.)

I'm still spotting, which is freaking me out a bit, but we have an appointment on Friday where (hopefully) we'll get some answers as to the ultrasound and my bloodwork. The receptionist mentioned that the latter came back okay, but they haven't received notes from the u/s back yet.

Everyone looks okay, as far as I can tell, though! I still want to say that the bleeding was SCH and that the residual spotting is thanks to that, but I'm not a doctor, so I honestly don't know. All I know is that little Kit is still in there, has a great heartbeat, and is making Momma sick like whoah. That's gotta be a good sign, right? LOL

Anyway, so I'll post about my appointment later this week, and will include my 8-week(!!) stats.

The weeks are chugging right along!

Pregnancy: 7w

Update for my 7w! :) Which apparently was yesterday according to my u/s, but whatever, I'm a day off. LOL


Cravings: Onion rings. Basically anything fried. But the quantities in which I want these things is small, so that's nice!

What I love: Having had the ultrasound yesterday. Even though it was for a terrifying reason, I'm so relieved that our little Kit is still bouncing away. :)

What I hate: Morning sickness! [Same] And bleeding! Because WTF!! I'm still spotting (brown), but I'm not gushing anymore, so that's good?!

What I miss: Nothing this week. If I did, it was all forgotten.

What I’m looking forward to the most: My psuedo-first appointment! I'm pretty sure I'm still having it next Friday, but I'm going to check with my midwifery practice to be sure.

Worries: That it won’t stick. That’s a big worry right now. [Same] Especially considering the bleeding. Ugh.

Symptoms: Morning sickness/nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, frequent urination, sore breasts. It’s been pretty miserable ever since, and I feel it only getting worse. It’s terrible in the morning and at night. [Same, for the most part] Some cramping that feels like the same uterine expansion as the past few weeks.

Mood: I had a couple mood swings this week, but I'm trying to keep them in check. My emotions were all over the damn place yesterday, which is not surprising considering.

Sleep: It’s okay. Could be worse! [Same]

Movement: Um, none. Way too early for that. LOL [Same]

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: On! [Same]

Waist (measured at the belly button: No way to measure. I really should start doing this, lol. [Same... apparently, I never learn... even still!!]

Milestones: 7 weeks! Um... that's it! LOL

Best moment of the week: Oh god, yesterday. Watching that little heartbeat flutter, crying when I saw our little baby, and knowing DH was crying for the same reason. I loved his kiss on my forehead when he saw Kit, too. <3

How your baby's growing:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.

How your life's changing:

Your uterus has doubled in size in the past five weeks, and eating may feel like a chore — or worse — thanks to morning sickness, which by now may be in full swing. (If you're feeling fine, don't worry — you're lucky!)

You may need to pee more than usual, too, thanks to your increasing blood volume and the extra fluid being processed through your kidneys. (By now, you already have about 10 percent more blood than you did before you were pregnant. And by the end of your pregnancy, you'll have 40 to 45 percent more blood running through your veins to meet the demands of your full-term baby.) As your uterus grows, pressure on your bladder will send you to the bathroom as well.

About half of the women who feel nauseated during the first trimester will find complete relief by about 14 weeks. For most of the rest, it'll take another month or so for the queasiness to ease up. It's unlikely, though, that the need to pee more than usual will ease up. In fact, research shows that both the frequency and volume of urine tends to increase over the course of pregnancy.

Pregnancy: 7w - A scare...

I'll update later with my weekly, but I need to share this story from yesterday.

DH and I were *supposed* to have an appointment and ultrasound next Friday at 8 weeks, but a situation came up yesterday that pushed it up to immediately.

I started bleeding yesterday afternoon, just around lunchtime. I freaked out considering it was dark red and was a LOT, a sign of miscarriage, so I called Special Beginnings and tried to schedule an appointment for today. Fortunately, they were able to get me in at 3:30. I emailed awesome attorney-boss to let him know I was going home, it was an emergency, and I might not be at work tomorrow. I had told him I was pregnant on Tuesday, so I'm pretty sure he had an idea as to what might be wrong.

Just barely made it to my car before I started crying. I called DH and asked him to come home and told him why, and he came home immediately. He had been crying, too, fearing the worst. :| The bleeding had slowed by then.

When 3:30 finally came around, we went to SB and talked to a midwife. She was straightforward but gentle, saying it may be a miscarriage but may also be a number of other things, so she wanted to do a blood test for hCG levels (and Rhogam, to determine if I was positive or negative -- still have to see how that goes) and to have an ultrasound done at Anne Arundel Medical Center. I didn't cry once during the blood draw. ;)

DH was actually a dream there. He got along really well with the midwife, and we ended up making it a really lighthearted time. I'm so glad he was there, even though my midwife DID offer her sympathies when she learned that DH is an engineer. LOLOL

Anyway, so after the blood draw, they were fortunately able to get me an appointment right away at AAMC, so we went straight over and had the ultrasound done. What they were looking for: If there was a heartbeat, the pregnancy was still viable; if not, SB would do another blood test within 48 hours to see if my hCG levels were rising properly, and if not, it's likely a miscarriage. (I wanted a heartbeat not only so it was viable, but so I didn't need another blood test! I won't lie!)

She tried a regular ultrasound first, but couldn't see anything but a little mass in the middle of my uterus. You could see my big bladder, though. :P So she switched to transvaginal, and she poked around just a little bit before coming across that little mass.

... and there it was, a beautiful, strong heartbeat, 139bpm. <3 I also measured yesterday at 7w, so I'm only a day off. :) DH and I both cried when the heartbeat came up, and the technician congratulated us. We were SO scared, and to see that heartbeat... our chance went from 50/50 for a miscarriage to 90% viability. MUCH better odds. I'll have to post a picture later!

Anyway... I just wanted to let y'all know. Everything is going well, we had a scare, but we were brought closer because of it. It was so reassuring to see that everything is pretty much fine.

Still have to hear back from the midwife to see what caused the bleeding. It could be anything, but my research is pointing to subchorionic bleeding. We'll see what the midwife says.

We can breathe a little easier now, but we probably won't relax until we're at, like, 40 weeks and the baby's on its way here. :P

Pregnancy: 6w5d - The Big Reveal!

Okay, so I'm sure y'all have been waiting with bated breath to know how everything went. Then, yanno, I had to work. A lot. Sooooo... sorry about the tease!

We sent off the video to our parents around 7am on Labor Day morning:

I've been experimenting with iMovie and our camera's stop-motion setting, and came up with a home video! Lemme know what you think. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdXGOdH4fSM

Love,
Steph (and Matt ;))

Originally, we were thinking it wouldn't take very long for the phone calls to come in. (DH's parents especially, as they're typically up sooner than my parents.) 8am went by, 8:30 went by, and DH got impatient and calls his mom. Since her birthday recently passed, they talked about that, their recent trip to SFIL's hometown, and a few other things before DH said, "Oh yeah, Steph made a video, you should go watch it." At some point, SFIL also mentioned something about getting the link, but they didn't watch it then and there. So they hung up.

And, uh, didn't watch the video.

DH texted MIL about 30 minutes later, said to watch the video, then called about 15 minutes after that and she said, "Okay, fiiiine, we'll watch the video!" :P

In the meantime, my mom called and spazzed!! She had seen the video and showed it to my dad, who was all, "Oh my gosh!! Oh my gosh!! Oh my gosh!!" This is the guy who cried when he dropped me off at college, when DH and I got married, the whole nine. ;) He also said to hold baby Kit in a few days longer -- his birthday's on 30 April, and he'd love Kit as a birthday present! LOL

So my parents took it really well! And I told my brother, too, said something about "You're going to be an uncle!" and he was like, mmm, okay. XD He's excited, but he's like my uncle in that he doesn't show emotion all that much. ;)

While I was on the phone with my parents, DH's mom called and could barely get two words out between her crying! She and SFIL were SO thrilled! They talked to DH for a bit while I continued my conversation with my parents, then we switched off and I got to hear their excitement firsthand, then it all came back full circle.

The best part was telling my sister. I don't have the video right now -- will have to post later -- but we Skyped after talking to my parents. The first half of the conversation was nonchalant, talking about work and stuff, then I was like, "Oh hey, wanna see this video I made?" She said sure, so I sent it over and she watched it. Since we were on Skype and I had my iPhone with me, I was able to record her reaction. ;) She cried!! It was so sweet!! It's really nice to have that on video, too!

So basically, everyone is TOTALLY thrilled. We told DH's cousin and her husband that day, too, and since she's 8 weeks ahead of me, we all had fun talking about pregnancy and babies and future plans and all that. She and DH are 6 months apart, and our babies will be 2 months apart, which is just... awesome. :D

FINALLY. I told awesome attorney-boss yesterday. I had to! My m/s is getting worse by the day (though I feel all right today), and I wanted to explain why I was going away from my desk so often (oh porcelain throne, how I adore your hugs...).

We were at our 1:1 meeting, and I was reviewing a few things from the previous week. At the very end, I was about to get up, then I said, "Oh yeah, one more thing... I'm pregnant."

His face went from O_O to :D SO FAST! And he said, "Whoah, are you really?! That's awesome! Congratulations!!" With more huge smiles! We ended up having fun talking about pregnancy and all that -- remember, his wife is due with their second child in mid-October. :) It was wonderful! I ended up sending him the video that we sent our parents as he wanted to know how we told them, and he replied with a REALLY sweet email and an additional congrats. :)

It was totally great. Went so much better than I expected it to go, and I knew it'd at least go over well!

So... yup, that's how we told! Now to wait until the 8 week midwife visit next Friday, which I'm SO STOKED about!!

Pregnancy: 6w5d - We told everyone. :D

Pregnancy: 6w2d - I need your opinions.

I have nausea like whoah, and the only thing helping at this point are these Sea Bands DH got me. Seriously, they're brilliant, I want to wear them all the time.

Thing is, "all the time" also means at work, and I'm not out at work yet. The thought of trying to get through a workweek, much less a day, without these Bands is nothing short of terrifying. They'd be out in the open for everyone to see, which means people would start to learn and... ugh.

I'm also worried because my annual review is coming up in a couple weeks, and I don't want this to influence it at all. It shouldn't, and knowing awesome attorney-boss, it won't... but I'm still worried.

DH says I should just tell awesome attorney-boss this week. Better for him to know early than try to get through a workday miserable, right?

What do you think? I was planning to tell closer to 10-11 weeks, but I can't go without these Bands quite yet... :|