The Epic Story of Tycho David

NOTE: This story does have pictures, one of which may be deemed NSFW.

Now that I have a few minutes, I thought I’d write about my birth experience. :) Tycho is now over a week old, so I guess it’s about time!

I was 37w4d at my midwife appointment on 8 April, and while we were there, it was mentioned that Tycho was quickly running out of room. While that can be debated, she was sure enough that she asked whether our bags were packed and we were ready to head to the birth center, as she didn’t expect me to make it even to 39 weeks. We had everything but snacks for the center, so we spent the next two days gathering all that and putting it aside.

That weekend, Matt’s mom and Nana were flying up to visit Matt’s cousin’s baby, who was born on 26 February. We were a little miffed that they had chosen their visiting time so close to my due date, but what can you do. We just kept our fingers (and my legs) crossed that Tycho wouldn’t make an appearance.

(I should clarify that, despite this, they were incredibly supportive and not at all overwhelming while they were here. I ended up actually being thankful for how it all worked out. :))

I headed to Matt’s cousin’s house that Friday, 12 April, where he and his mom and Nana were visiting everyone. It was around 5pm when I arrived – I had cut out of work a little early to be there – and after being greeted at the door by Matt’s mom, we headed upstairs to see everyone else.

About fifteen minutes later, I felt a little uncomfortable and like I had, ah… wet myself. It wasn’t the first time that had happened recently (the joys of pregnancy, am I right?!), so I said I needed to go to the restroom. Imagine my surprise when I saw fluid tinged with blood – my bloody show.

I sat on the toilet and just stared at it for a second. It continued to come out, so I knew it was more than just what I’d been experiencing for the weeks before. I panicked a little – this wasn’t supposed to happen today! – and tried wrapping extra toilet paper around my underwear. You can imagine that that helped a lot. :P

I left the restroom and, wanting to discreetly (ha!) let Matt know what was going on without tipping off his mom or Nana, I asked for his phone and quickly started a new text message that said something along the lines of “I think that was bloody show.” I don’t recall exactly what I wrote, just something that was like, “Seriously, help, NOW.” He looked at me with huge eyes and whispered, “Are you serious?” I nodded, and we said we had to head upstairs.

Yeah, REAL discreet.

I managed to get some pads from Matt’s cousin, (Matt had to clue her in at this point, as there was no denying what had happened) which I tripled up as the amount was getting ridiculous. Matt was starting to freak out a little, so I told him it’s fine, lol. He offered to call the doula, Danielle, which I gratefully accepted while I tried to pull myself together a bit, too.

Danielle (who was absolutely wonderful and worth everything!) said it’s probably fine, we could go out and enjoy dinner, maybe have a glass of wine. And to call her back if it starts to pick up. She (and we) expected labor to start gradually, so dinner actually sounded feasible. I had to start rocking through some of the more painful contractions, but as they were light – back to back, but light – I didn’t think much more of it.

We headed downstairs, catching Matt’s cousin-in-law in the process and telling him that my water had broken and to keep it hush-hush. Of course, he was thrilled, and he promised to keep it quiet. The three of us left shortly afterward to reserve a table at the restaurant we were going to, leaving Matt’s cousin, mom, and Nana to come later. Matt’s extended family was going to come as well, but I’d never get to see them.

Not long after getting to the restaurant, my contractions really started to pick up. I needed to squat during them, so in the middle of the waiting area, I was holding on to the arm of a bench and slowly breathing through them. I could still talk, but they were starting to need some extra attention. Matt and his cousin-in-law kept asking if I was okay, and at some point, I finally said, “I can’t… I can’t stay here.” So Matt and I prepared to leave.

We wanted to catch everyone else before heading out, so when they finally arrived, we told them what was going on, gushed about it for a few minutes, and we took final pictures before Matt and I headed out.

[caption id="attachment_1777" align="aligncenter" width="764"] 38w1d... and about to pop![/caption]

On our way to my car (we left with mine, as it has the carseat and I had a feeling we wouldn’t be going back to get Matt’s car…), I squatted a few times to work through contractions. They still weren’t bad, but I definitely needed to stop. The car wasn’t far, either!

We headed home, and I called my mom on our way to let her know what was up. My family, like Matt’s, lives in Florida, so they weren’t here to experience everything. At some point, I had to put Mom on speaker so Matt could talk to her, as I started to need to breathe through contractions. I remember glancing at the clock around that point – 6:45pm. They were incredibly close together at that point, maybe five or six minutes, though I admit I wasn’t timing them.

Finally, we were home and talking about what to do. This is about the point where I forgot little things, like how I got from the car to the living room, where I was on hands and knees for a bit and quietly but progressively vocalizing through contractions, and from there to the shower. I do remember asking Matt for a glass of wine before heading upstairs, though, then reneging when I learned we didn’t have any in the house.

(He tells me that I asked for wine and food from the grocery store, then when he asked if I was comfortable with him leaving, I said, “Uh… no, fuck it.” We also tossed around the “ask a neighbor for a cup of wine” idea, and Matt ended up texting a neighbor, who didn’t respond and wouldn’t have responded in time, anyway!)

The shower helped when I made it there, and after struggling through a few contractions on the floor while the water heat up, I spent what felt like a great deal of time with my hands against the wall and the water hitting my lower back. Matt called Danielle then the birth center around that time, and while he told them what was going on, they were interested to hear my vocalization to see about where I was and when we’d need to head over.

Danielle said we probably had time, but the birth center said I should probably leave pretty soon as the birth center was a half-hour away. I imagine I was in active labor by then, and probably was when I glanced at the clock earlier, too.

So off we went! … kind of. It took me about forty-five minutes to get out of the shower and get dressed, time Matt spent packing up clothes and bathing suits for the both of us. (Remember that ill-prepared baby bag?!) He finally managed to get me downstairs and in the car, and I didn’t even bother buckling up – I actually spent the entire time with my head against the back rest, my ass on the airbag (can you imagine if we got into an accident!), and my knees pressed into the seat.

I was making some seriously scary noises by then, too, haha.

Matt drove like a bat out of hell to the birth center, and I think we ended up making it there in 25 minutes. I don’t know, time had ceased all meaning well before that point. All I know is that we made it, and that I forgot all about my sandals as we went to the birth center’s back door.

Our midwife, David, met us and led us to my requested birthing suite (so yay!), and mentioned we were the only ones birthing that night. I took that as full liberty to make as much noise as I wanted. ;) I don’t remember too much, but David and Matt talked a bit about my status, the birth tub, and that Danielle was on her way* before I was checked.

Which sucked, by the way. Being checked. He waited until a contraction was over, but man, what torture. Fortunately, I was already at four centimeters and was 100% effaced!

*I totally had to verify this with Matt, as I remember them talking, but I don’t recall about what.

Danielle arrived shortly after with a student doula, who I said before all this was totally okay to be there. She bantered with Matt and a bit with me between contractions – I remember talking about her daughter’s birthday party, which was that night (yes, we interrupted her daughter’s birthday!); that she needed coffee to get through tonight; and a quip about how even when pregnant, Matt said I looked hot from behind. That last one earned him a crotch-smack and a resulting fit of laughter – plus a word of agreement! – from Danielle. ;)

(FTR, we ended up having eight people in the room: Myself, Matt, David, a student midwife named Theresa (she ended up catching the baby!), Danielle, a nurse named Melissa (who took over the previous nurse’s shift just before or after I got in the tub), the student doula whose name I forgot, and… I swear, there was someone else.)

The real work began then, as I started to really moan through contractions. I was on all fours with my arms draped over an egg-shaped birthing ball with a blanket draped over it. Matt was amazing, stroking my arms and offering me water at any chance he could get. He really was the most amazing birth partner I could have asked for!

Danielle was WONDERFUL, too, offering counterpressure on my hips and getting me through each contraction by telling me it was peaking, I can make it, and when it was going down, telling me to breathe through them and keep my vocalizations low and controlled. It was all incredibly accurate, which I was admittedly surprised by. She’s a very talented doula. :)

I admit, though – I was wearing only my bathing suite top at that point, and I felt terrible that my ass was in Danielle’s face. She never seemed to mind, though!

At some point, I asked if the tub was ready (or maybe someone else asked before I did, but regardless, GET ME THE DAMN TUB), and David determined I was ready for it, even though it had only been about a half-hour and I probably wasn’t too far past four centimeters. They were just coming so hard and fast. It took what felt like forever to get it filled, but when it finally was, I was so ready to get in.



And let me tell you, it was INCREDIBLE. So warm and inviting. I don’t recall much of what happened for a while after that – details start to really meld together, and I don’t recall a lot of sequences. I do remember…

• Being offered Coke, of all things, in labor. I refused to eat anything (though I was more than welcome to and probably should have), so I was offered soda and juice the entire time to keep my blood sugar up. I strongly preferred the soda.


• Making some wisecracks in the short breaks between contractions. I distinctly remember doing a “that’s what she said” and a cymbal crash noise at some point. It was like I was cognizant, but only able to respond to some talk around me… and all those responses were humorous, lol.


• Yelling in Matt’s face. Not at him, just in his direction. I practically howled at some points, and I have to give him a ton of credit for not letting any fear or anything but support show on his face!


• The whale noises. I was playing this nature sounds channel in the background, and everyone kept laughing at the random whale noises that punctuated otherwise calming sounds of the ocean. There was a point where I laughed in my head because a whale noise came on and I moaned like a whale shortly afterward, ha!


• Around transition, spinning in the tub from one side to the other. Danielle said she was impressed! Never saw a laboring woman move like that, haha.

At some point, I felt the urge to push, but after thirty minutes with nothing happening, I was checked, and it was revealed I was only eight centimeters. So I had to breathe through… I don’t know, six or eight contractions. It’s the worst feeling in the WORLD to feel like you have to push but can’t, and I ended up having a “shit shit shit shit!” contraction at one point. I was given some homeopathic medicine to get me to ten, and I imagine it worked quickly, as I was checked shortly after and had just a lip of a cervix to go.

David was awesome by recommending he push aside that lip, but I admit I hated it while he was doing it. I had a contraction in the middle of it, as he wanted, and he wanted me to push a little as he shoved my cervix out of the way. Fortunately, it worked, and we were ready to get pushing!



The final position I ended up pushing in was, oddly enough, on my back. It didn’t seem to matter at all in the tub, though. I pushed for what seemed like ages with some blissfully longer breaks between these contractions. I was asked at some point if I wanted to feel, and I did… and felt something that did NOT feel like a head. It was squishier, SO weird!

The game was finally on when I started making some true headway in the pushing. I had Matt holding me up by my armpits, two people helping push my feet so my knees came in towards my chest, and Theresa waiting for him to emerge. I felt some immense pressure in my bottom and against my tailbone (and at some point, I said I was sure he was going to come out of my ass!), and with each contraction, I pushed against that.

Finally, his head really started to come out! I peeked down for just a moment before getting back into the swing of it, and was shocked by the HUGE THING between my legs. I was asked to stop pushing for one contraction; apparently, the cord was wrapped once around his neck and Theresa had to unwrap it, no big deal. I almost lost it during one of the pushes that had me getting the rest of his head out, but when that finally happened, I bore down one last time strictly for wanting it done, and out he came!



Tycho David was born in water on 13 April 2013 at 1:19am, after eight hours of labor. Danielle calls my labor the “gold standard” considering how fast and easy it went, and told the student doula to not expect all labors to be quite like it!

It was AMAZING, I tell you! Theresa scooped him up from the water and put him straight on my chest, and I was too overwhelmed to cry. Apparently, so was Tycho, as he didn’t for a bit, and when he did, he only wailed a few times. It was incredible, such a good baby from the beginning! Matt kissed my forehead, clearly overwhelmed himself, and I leaned back for a kiss. It was the most touching family moment. :)

I had to get out of the tub at that point, with the cord still between my legs and everything, and we all moved to the bed. I snuggled with my new baby while everyone cleaned up and took care of all the postpartum stuff, like checking him over and making sure the placenta came out. I passed a number of clots, too, and my uterus was taking a bit to shrink down, so I was stabbed with a syringe of Pitocin to help that along. Matt actually didn't want to cut the cord at all, so I offered Danielle the opportunity, and she jumped at it! Apparently, in the hundreds of births she doula-d, she had only ever cut the cord once!



I ended up later having issues with my blood pressure, which kept us at the center for another few hours so I could be monitored. Maybe I’ll go into that in a later post. Suffice it to say, I’m glad my chart noted that I have syncope, as they were keeping an eye on it, anyway.

In the end, we had a very happy, healthy baby! Tycho was weighed and measured, 6lbs 15.5oz (which they called 7lbs) and 20 inches (which may have been wrong – he measured 18 inches at his following two pediatrician appointments – but who cares), and 9/9 for his APGAR scores.



Parenting so far has come with its own ups and downs, but with each decision that Matt and I come to, the better I feel. I’m so fortunate to have such an amazing husband and partner as father to our son, as he’s done so much more than just be a daddy… he’s been my lifeline. :)

Pimpin’ it:

Special Beginnings, Arnold, MD
Danielle Koontz, Baltimore area, MD