31 December 2013

Project Life 2014: Title Page

It's my first year doing digital Project Life, and I just have to say I'm so excited to really get good at this! I'm learning the ins and outs of Photoshop Elements, so this isn't a great title page, but it's enough to at least get started. Maybe I'll work on it more after I get started. For now, though, I'm pretty pleased by how it turned out.

The washi tape and cork letters are from my friend Melissa of A Vegas Girl at Heart, the "twenty14" card is from Dunia Designs, and the "everyday" card is from Paper Coterie. Photos are obviously mine. :) I hope you enjoy!


(Click to make bigger.)

Parenthood ain't pretty, but it sure is worthwhile.

This video makes me cry every time!

30 December 2013

Potty-Mouth Parenting: Let the F*cks Fly!

Disclaimer: Yes, I cuss. A lot. Even in this blog. Notably in this post. You've been warned.


Matt and I are self-admitted militant potty-mouths, sometimes swearing to such an extent as to make a sailor proud (though not quite blush). We've been wondering recently whether it was right or wrong to release a few f-bombs, shit-talks, or other goddamn dirty words around Tycho during moments of anger, pain, joy, or just for the fuck of it, especially since any attempts to curb our language have been nothing short of hilarious and somewhat embarrassing in our complete inability to catch ourselves until the swear escapes our lips.

Though I have slowed down on "motherfucker", if only because it's caught a whole new meaning since becoming a mother... ;)

I grew up in a house where "damn" was considered a curse word, and my sister and I totally got soap in our mouths after calling each other a "fucking bitch" (oh yes, we were feisty at seven and eight). But I like to say that my mouth started at a year, when I uttered a very clear "bullshit" to another year-old friend who had stolen one of my blocks.

We've held fast to the belief that swearing around Tycho isn't necessarily a bad thing; while we wouldn't want him cursing just about anywhere, we see swear words as just that, words, all invented for a purpose and none of which should be restricted. Sure, that's allowing him a tremendous amount of freedom of speech, but we never intended on modifying our own language in order to "talk down" to him.

Not everyone sees it that way, though; this writer at Salon, a mother who curses "more, maybe, than most people in general, excepting phone sex workers, sailors[,] and actors in Tarantino films", sees her swearing as a habit that she lapses into out of sheer laziness, or as a way to show herself as "an edgy, 'cool' mom". As a result, and considering her own children's use of swear words ("my fucking pencil broke!" Ohhhhh yes), she's striving to keep her language more G-rated.

But is it really a bad thing to swear in front of your kids? Consider these:

1. It's been suggested that people who swear are more honest and trustworthy. The truth of this has been debated wildly since it was suggested, but I'm clinging to it as I like to think I cuss a lot because I'm honest and trustworthy. Apparently, though, swearing can serve to show that we belong in a particular social group, or that we're able to be wholly comfortable with members of that group, so we become more open around those people.

2. That applies to the work environment, too. Hear that, awesome attorney-boss?

3. Swearing can help ease pain by activating the "fight or flight" response, leading to a surge of adrenaline and a corresponding analgesic effect. Of course, studies have shown that this holds true only for the occasional swearer, not those "chain-swearers" who are presumably desensitized by the act of cussing. Shhhhh.

4. Is it really necessary to censor yourself, and thereby, censor your children? Self-expression should be encouraged, always and in all forms. As George Carlin put it, "Why should I deprive myself of a small but important part of language that my fellow humans have developed? Why not use all of what we've developed to communicate with?" (And this is why Carlin is amazing.)

5. Swearing around your kids can actually help demonstrate rules of etiquette, as in which behaviors are appropriate under the circumstances. This is something we plan on instilling in Tycho: "You can say these words at home, but don't say them at school or around your grandmother, they would be very angry. These are at-home or alone words."

We like to see swearing as something different from hitting or punching or stealing or lying. Those are actions that we consider "wrong" because they hurt others and, sometimes, even hurt ourselves (especially if the kid hits back). They're behaviors that absolutely will not be tolerated in our home or elsewhere.

Swearing, on the other hand... why is it "wrong"? Is it because it's not nice? Improper? Perhaps offensive to some people? Sure, but so is wishing someone a Happy Holidays, apparently. We don't see swearing as a "wrong" thing any more than we see alternative season's greetings. Swears should only be used when necessary and sometimes just because they're fun to say, but personally? We're not going to waste our time teaching Tycho something is "wrong" when we don't even believe it to be.

So how about you... do you swear in front of your kids?

26 December 2013

Merry @$%# Christmas!

Okay, so it didn't turn out entirely terrible, but I'm glad this isn't going to be a Christmas that Tycho remembers. We've all been sick with the crud recently, probably due to the extreme changes in weather (from mid-70s down to mid-30s in a matter of a day! What gives, Maryland?), but it all came to a head on Christmas Eve, at least for me.

The evening started innocently enough. I had been feeling rather yucky for a few days by then, as I came down with mastitis on Friday afternoon. We felt well enough to have a Christmas Eve dinner with neighbors who welcomed us into their home with open arms, though, and we had a great time.

About an hour later, though, I started getting some major chills. I checked my temperature and was floored when I saw the number: 103.6. I haven't had a fever like that since high school when I caught pneumonia! So of course, I was freaking out. We went to bed after I downed a couple glasses of water,  hoping it would break overnight but resolving to go the hospital -- one of the only places open on Christmas Day -- if it was above 102.

So of course, after finding a temperature of 102.5 the next morning (and having literally sweat my ass off overnight... you're welcome for that visual), we were prepared to head for Anne Arundel Medical Center. We first had Tycho open his gifts, which he had a lot of fun with, then packed everything up, including my pump in case they ended up admitting me.

On the drive there, I felt a bit less chilly and not nearly as on fire as I was the night before, and I told Matt, "Watch, when I get there, I won't have a fever anymore."

"Wouldn't that just be shitty."

"Well yeah, but not as shitty as still feeling this way!"

And wouldn't you know it, upon being admitted, my fever had already broken and I was down to 99.9. DUH. They still ran my vital signs and did a chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia or bronchitis, but everything came back normal.

Except my heart rate. I was apparently tachycardic (and had been since Friday -- they pointed it out at emergency care when I was diagnosed with mastitis), with a heart rate between 115 and 125, so since nothing else pointed to why my heart rate would be that fast, they wanted to run a battery of tests.

One EKG, a couple cups of juice, and two(!!) blood draws and cultures later, they still couldn't find anything wrong. :P And of course, my fever? Down to 98.8.

We were released at 12:30, with the diagnosis that it was probably viral, to keep my antibiotics for the mastitis going until the end of treatment, and that the tachycardia didn't appear to be too problematic and probably related to the sickness than anything, especially since my heart rate is usually around 70bpm. We're to go in if anything gets worse, but that's about it.

So yeah, Merry fucking Christmas, right? At least the rest of the day went well, and we're all on the mend!

I have a feeling this is mostly going to be added to the baby album strictly for the lulz. It'll be funny in about 15 years, right?

Some pics from Christmas Day for what I just put y'all through. :)



21 December 2013

Secret Santa!

When I started trying to conceive, I met a bunch of wonderful girls who were trying to achieve the same through forums at TCOYF (Taking Charge of Your Fertility). We created a Facebook group to keep up with each other and our babies as they grew up, and we've built some pretty fantastic lifelong bonds!

Our Secret Santa swap opening day was today, and Tycho got some really amazing gifts all the way from the Grand Canyon, where a mama and her beautiful girl were celebrating their own first day of winter with their Secret Santa gifts!

Oh, those boots, by the way? I've been searching for an adult version since we opened the package. No luck yet... ;)











Thank you again, lovely mama friend, for all these great gifts!! Tycho adores them! :)

19 December 2013

Tycho the not-so-red-nosed reindeer!

So they skipped the red paint on his nose to save him from a possible reaction, not knowing that I've drawn on his face already with eyeliner without even thinking about allergies. ;) But my little reindeer got his debut yesterday with his infant class, jingling huge bells tied to his wrist and donning construction paper antlers!

You know those antlers will be saved and possibly stuck on him at random points during his childhood, even when it doesn't fit anymore.









He did that eyebrow and confused little scowl the WHOLE TIME. It was adorable and all, but come on kid, I know you've got a smile in you somewhere!

It was a great concert, though, seriously. I stayed through most of it before booking it back to work, including a little snuggle time with my li'l bud before he went back to his classroom.

I'm so thankful for this daycare center and their great care of my son. :)

18 December 2013

Tycho's Daycare Photos

We (read: I) totally splurged on Tycho's daycare photos this year. I couldn't resist, they were too cute to pass up! We had a tough time getting him to smile, though -- as happy as he is, he freezes up sometimes in front of a camera, and when the photographer happens to be an over-spirited stranger wielding some squeak toy in his face while flashing bright lights in his eyes?

Well... I'll let the photos speak for themselves. Personally? I love them, and I'm sure he was having a great time. ;)






So yup. It is what it is. If anything, they'll be great for his high school yearbook. I sense a full spread of embarrassment...

12 December 2013

Happy Thanksgivukkah!

I'm a bit late with this post, I realize that. The entire extended Thanksgiving/Chanukah weekend was a whirlwind, one that didn't stop when we came home from Florida. Here are a few photos to make up for it, though, interspersed with eight things for which I'm thankful, in spirit of the combined holiday weekend. :) (I'll admit, I totally got that idea in particular from Mayim Bialik's blog on Kveller.)

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1. I love that we have all these family traditions. Traditions, no matter what they are, just feel important to me, and I'm thankful that we have so many already to pass along to our son.

2. My friends are so supportive and have such wonderful advice. This parenting thing is HARD, and I'm glad to have friends who have either been there, done that or are currently there and doing that. It makes it easier knowing that there's someone else going through blowouts, teething, and learning to crawl at 2am.

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3. My family -- old and new -- is very diverse in its beliefs, practices, and personalities. While they don't always get along, I'm thankful for each one of my family members, as they make a very rich environment for my son. I've learned a lot about tolerance, acceptance, and finding joy in our differences, and I know these will pass down to Tycho.

4. We had Chanukah at Matt's parents' house, then Thanksgiving at my parents' house. I love that we can share time with each of our families, due in part to how close they are in proximity to one another. I have to admit, I also love and am thankful for their food and hospitality. But mainly the food. ;)

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5. I am grateful for YOU. I know I don't say this often enough, but I'm eternally grateful for your readership and, most of all, your friendship. I hope you continue to become an influence in our lives, and I hope that we can provide some helpful tidbits along the way, too!

6. I am thankful for my job, and for Matt's job, and that we can and continue to create a rich life together. I'm not talking "rich" in terms of money, but in terms of time spent, which has always been more valuable to us than any money we could make. But having good jobs and good health thanks to good insurance definitely helps, and I'm grateful that we have these.

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7. Thank you Spirit for providing for us, and for giving us our greatest blessing, Tycho. I probably don't thank Spirit enough, either, but I really am grateful for everything that has been provided to us. I'm sure that hard work and dedication aren't the only things driving our lives, and if there's anything out there giving us that extra boost, well... how can you not be thankful for that. :)

8. I'mma steal this in part from Mayim: The last night of Hanukkah contains the most light of the entire holiday: eight candles and a shamash (leader candle). While we didn't get to the eighth night (bad Jew and worse pseudo-Jew!), we did get a chance to celebrate the first night surrounded by family, and you could seriously feel the light and love in the house that night. My only hope is that we can share that light and love with the world. <3

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03 December 2013

It's okay to just have one! Even just to think about it!

“Is this your first?”

“When are you going to give him a sibling?”

“Are you trying again yet?”

“He’s too cute, you MUST make more babies!”

Not long after Tycho’s birth, and probably because my pregnancy and delivery went so well, people started assuming that we were going to continue having more children. We’ve been asked these questions (or told that we had to make more!) nonstop, and I don’t see an end to them anytime soon.

So it’s no wonder that, after only a year for most couples, I’ve seen them getting to work on Baby #2. In fact, I know a few families who are in the process of or who have already conceived or who have already given birth to their seconds, and for some of these families, the gap is no wider than a couple years.

People around me have waxed poetic about the alleged importance of giving your first baby a sibling of his or her very own, saying that it will cause harm if there are no siblings, and they must be close together – two years apart at most – so they can play together. Heaven forbid your only child be spoiled and socially stunted without a brother or sister!

I’m the oldest of three, and while I definitely love my siblings, our upbringing wasn’t always rosy. There were a few times when I wished I was an only child, or at least had a sister who wasn’t so close in age as to cramp my style. As advanced as it was, you see, considering we were 11 months apart.

Matt, on the other hand, is an only child, and he has told me that there were a few periods when he was growing up when he wanted a sibling, but for the most part, he is happy having been an only child. Discussions with other only children seem to prove his point over and over – maybe they miss having a brother or sister, but they generally are happy being a singleton.

Why this post, especially since Tycho isn’t even a year old yet? Why am I thinking about second children and Tycho’s possible future with and without a sibling? Because even at his age, people look at me as if I’d sprung three heads when I say I’m not sure if I want another baby. “But he’ll be so lonely!” “Only children are so spoiled!” “He’ll need a sibling!” “Do you not like being a mom?”

Truth be told, I don’t feel compelled to have another baby because of societal pressure, because I might be “hurting” Tycho if he grows up as an only, or because I’d be less of a mom by having only one. I love Tycho so much that it seems unfathomable sometimes, and as challenging as motherhood can be, I love being his mom. Right now, I can’t imagine a second in our lives; I rather like things as they are!

We haven’t ruled out the possibility, but we’re not going to seriously reconsider having more than one until Tycho is at least two – so yes, we’d be missing that “magical” two-year age gap, too. But I feel like I need more time to enjoy him and, yes, to recover a bit from babyhood before thinking about whether I want to jump into it all over again.

Plus, we want to do it not because we feel like we need to prove anything, or because Tycho “needs” a brother or a sister. If we have a second, it’ll be because we can’t imagine not being a family of four.

Tycho being cute

We do make some cute kids, though, don't we. ;)

21 November 2013

Relactation Journey: A new high!

I was just thinking to myself about a week ago, how awesome would it be if I never had to travel along the relactation road. How great to not have to worry about my supply, to maybe even have an oversupply, to pump what my son needed without effort, to generally not waste these months of my life for what.

Then... I have a day like this:

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And all doubt goes flying out the window!

(Okay, so I still wish I hadn't stopped, but I'm glad to have both our breastfeeding relationship AND my sanity back. ;))

People. That's 12oz right there, only 3oz short of what my son takes in on a daily basis while at daycare. That's enough for almost three whole bottles, and considering I have about 2oz left at home, I only need to make up a tiny bit with formula.

Or, since he's really digging food right about now, bring an extra snack to daycare:

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I am beyond thrilled by where this journey has taken me. It has been a long, difficult, and for the first month, seemingly unproductive test of my patience and my perseverance. And here we are today: Pumping almost everything he needs, breastfeeding full-time at home, and giving my all to this little charmer.

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My regimen is ever strict, is never bending, and is as follows:

  • 80mg Domperidone, spread 3/3/2

  • 6 Fenugreek pills, spread 2/2/2

  • 4 More Milk Special Blend, spread 1/2/1

  • lactation cookies from Miracles for Mommy, 1 during my first morning pump

  • pumping with my Spectra Dew 350 hospital-grade pump

I pump three times a day at work, then breastfeed at least three times while at home on weekdays and exclusively (so 5-7 times) over the weekend.

Guys. I seriously went from absolutely nothing -- to not even a hint of milk -- to making almost everything my son needs. Can you even imagine?!

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This is NOT a journey for the weak-willed, and I have to admit that it's not the right journey for everyone (I'm thinking mainly about those who can't breastfeed for whatever reason, be it medical or physical or mental or any combination thereof), but I'm incredibly glad I took it.

And judging by how readily he breastfeeds, I imagine he is, too. :)

Though at this point, he eats just about anything... LOL

Though at this point, he eats just about anything... LOL

And finally, I can't NOT post this picture:

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