31 July 2014

Freaking out about doll penises, and raising kids with correct anatomical terms.

Fun Fact: Baby boys have penises, and they often discover them while they are very young. My own son found his approximately six and a half seconds after he was born, leading me to believe that he knew it was there prior to his birth (and really, would that surprise anyone).

As a straight woman who has obviously engaged in intercourse, penises are awesome. But while they're great for sex, they also serve an equally practical purpose: Urination.

So when a doll that has SUPER PEEING ACTION (cue Billy Mays, gods rest his soul) appears on the market, you would imagine that the doll would, you know, need something to actually pee out of. After all, by removing anatomical associations, you would just be peeing out a hole in your hips. And that's no fun for anyone. Nor is it super practical.

Therefore, it would make sense that a doll with said SUPER PEEING ACTION actually had something to pee out of, so when You & Me released their Change My Diaper Doll, they came available as a baby boy -- full package and everything -- and an equally-anatomically-correct baby girl.

But with great baby dolls come great responsibility. Upon discovering that the baby boy had (*gasp!*), a penis, one mom had something to say about it:


If I may argue her point: Little girls (and little boys) really do need to know the anatomy.

Babies are inherently neither dirty nor sexual. Not when they breastfeed, not when they're cuddled, and certainly not while they're being changed or bathed. Yes, our culture today associates breasts and vulvas and penises with sex, as that's part of what they do, but strictly as body parts? That's really all they are, body parts. And there's nothing to be ashamed of, and I promise your child won't be a pervert as a result of knowing the proper words for those parts.

An anatomically-correct baby doll could (and should!) actually be used as a point of discussion for learning about our body parts and what makes them different. When we teach our children the names of each of our body parts, we call them by name: Nose, ears, cheeks, legs, fingers. Having a baby doll with an actual penis or vulva would present the opportunity to learn what these parts are and how they are different between boys and girls.

"This baby has a penis, that makes him a boy! You have a vulva, that makes you a girl!"

Might I add, so long as we're learning about our anatomy: I understand that many parents are uncomfortable with the proper names for their child's body parts, and therefore tend to use pet names to refer to them (i.e., "pee pee", "vajayjay", "down there"). They have particular names, and those names should be used. After all, to a toddler, their penis or vulva is just another body part. It's our job as parents to teach them the proper terms for their body parts, private or not, and to not be embarrassed about them, especially if we want to avoid body shame.

This is vital for our children's safety, too -- if someone were to touch them inappropriately, it's important that they know the proper words for their genitalia. It's also worth mentioning that child predators tend to use pet names for genitalia as a way to make them "cutesy" or to turn their private parts into a game, so arming your child with the knowledge of his or her own body will protect them even further.

So this kerfuffle about a boy baby doll having (another *gasp!*) a penis is just another silly thing our culture gets up in arms about, when it's really not that big a deal. It's just a penis, it's just a doll. And it can be used not only for play, but as a learning opportunity, too.

I won't lie, all this outrage makes me want to buy a baby boy doll of our very own. As far as I can tell, it even comes with cloth diapers. ;) I just don't need another crying baby in the household... though this one, at least, can have its batteries removed.


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30 July 2014

Books on Raising Pagan Kids

To supplement my list of children's books for Pagan kids, below are some titles for raising Pagan children. These will help you introduce Paganism to your children, integrate magick into their every day lives, and give them fun activities during the Sabbats and other points of the year!

As before, I've included both the author's website (where possible) and a link to the Amazon (or other) page where you can purchase each title.

Want your book added to this list, or know a great title that should be included here? Or, even better, have me review your book! Please email me! :)



Circle Round - Raising Children in Goddess Traditions
Starhawk

In our rushed, stressed society, it's sometimes difficult to spend meaningful time as a family. Now Starhawk, Diane Baker, and Anne Hill offer new ways to foster a sense of togetherness through celebrations that honor the sacredness of life and our Mother Earth.

Goddess tradition embraces the wheel of life, the never-ending cycle of birth, growth, love, fulfillment, and death. Each turn of the wheel is presented here, in eight holidays spanning the changing seasons, in rites of passage for life transitions, and in the elements of fire, air, water, earth, and spirit. Circle Round is rich with songs, rituals, craft and cooking projects, and read-aloud stories, as well as suggestions for how you can create your own unique family traditions. Here are just some of the ways to make each event in the cycle of life more special:
  • Mark Summer Solstice by making sweet-smelling herb pillows for good dreams
  • Send a teenager off to college with the Leaving Behind and Carrying With rituals
  • Comfort an injured child with the Tree of Life meditation
  • Commemorate a loved one by planting or donating a tree

As a one-of-a-kind resource for people of many faiths and beliefs, Circle Round will be a beloved companion in your home for years to come.

Author's Page
Amazon.com


Pagan Degrees for Children
Shanddaramon

This book provides a system of learning Pagan and good living concepts just for children and young adults through three main degrees. Children from the ages of 5 - 18 can work on obtaining the Neophyte, Apprentice, and Mage Degrees by meeting specific goals designed for children and by completing the requirements for earning Achievement Awards. The Neophyte Degree is subdivided into several Levels to help give young children small and easily obtainable goals. Provided with each Degree and Award is a great deal of information and sources for learning and for exploring.

Author's Page
Amazon.com


Pagan Parenting
Kristin Madden

This is a guide for any pagan family, no matter what its relgion. It describes the development of the human energy system from conception through adolescence, and how it relates to a child's spiritual, magical, and emotional development. The main focus of the book is on games and exercises designed to encourage the beneficial development of innate psychic and magical abilities. It aims to foster healthy family relationships and offer parents suggestions on how to handle common pagan parenting issues, such as how to answer tough questions asked by young children and teens, and how to deal with the honesty versus secrecy dilemma regarding practices and beliefs.

Author's Page
Amazon.com


Raising Witches
Ashleen O'Gaea

This is the first book that gives parents the means to teach their children Wicca in a more formal fashion. Featuring a Wiccan curriculum for each of the five age groups from infancy to young adulthood, O'Gaea shows parents how to effectively weave Wicca into a child's natural progression of learning.

Author's Page
Amazon.com


The Pagan Family
Ceisiwr Serith

"The Pagan Family" provides general advice for Pagans who wished to celebrate their religion as a family on the construction of rituals, as well as ritual guidelines for weddings, births, birthdays, seasonal celebrations, lunar phases, coming of age, divorce and death. The book also contains suggestions for the creation of the sacred home (including blessings and household shrines); activities for children such as meditations, mask and rattle making, drumming and storytelling; suggested prayers for throughout the day; tips for teaching children about paganism. References and resources for further information are included in the appendices.

Author's Page
Amazon.com


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Children's Books for Pagan Kids

Many Pagan parents, myself included, tend to have a difficult time finding titles that are appropriate for them as Pagan parents and for their Pagan children. While Tycho is being raised interfaith, I still plan on introducing my path to him, and books are a great way to start!

Below is a list of books available for Pagan and Wiccan children, organized from earliest introduction to books for teens. I also have a list of books for Pagan and Wiccan parents! I've included both the author's website (where possible) and a link to the Amazon (or other) page where you can purchase each title.

Want your book added to this list, or know a great title that should be included here? Or, even better, have me review your book! Please email me! :)



ABC Book of Shadows
Katie Lydon Olivares

This delightful book uses whimsical and delicate illustrations to present the alphabet while celebrating the magick and ritual of the ways of witchcraft. Witchcraft, often misunderstood, is an earth-based belief respecting natural and personal cycles, as well as indicidual responsibility. ABC Book Of Shadows, a delightfully rhyming book, introduces children of all ages to the magick and mysteries of an ancient wisdom. included is a Witches' Glossary of Terms to help explain the various alphabet words in the book. Hardcover 28 hardbound pages.



ABCs of Lesser-Known Goddesses coloring book
W. Lyon Martin

Most people have heard of Athena, Diana, Bridget, Venus or even Morgana at one point, but have you ever heard of Bachue, Pax or Opet? Did you know the popular shoe company Nike, takes their name from a Goddess? There are literally thousands of Goddesses all around the world. Here is a collection of 26 to color and learn about. Discover Goddesses from around the world in a child-friendly coloring book. Beautifully rendered in Lyon Martin's signature Art Nouveau style.



Aidan's First Full Moon Circle
W. Lyon Martin

Aidan and his parents have been solitary witches for as long as he can remember. At the rising of the Harvest Moon, his family is invited to a local coven's Full Moon Esbat celebration. Aidan is jittery about joining a Circle full of strangers. While he is enjoying himself around the bonfire, the High Priestess and his mother cook up a plan to get him involved in the Harvest Moon ritual. Aidan learns he is an important member of the Pagan community.

While reading the story, children can help Seamus the squirrel gather enough acorns for the coming winter by finding where they are hidden within the captivating illustrations.

An enchanting, fictional tale of a Wiccan nighttime gathering, Aidan's First Full Moon Circle will engage young readers with magical images while introducing some coven ritual basics.



An Ordinary Girl, A Magical Child
W. Lyon Martin

Take a joyful romp with Rabbit around the Wheel of the Year as she learns about herself and her Pagan Ways in the first fully illustrated Pagan children's book to explore Wiccan magic, customs and holidays through a child's point of view.

An Ordinary Girl, A Magical Child is lavishly illustrated with original watercolor paintings. Written for school-aged children, whether they are being raised Pagan or just are curious about a Wiccan friend or relative's spiritual Path, this book explains in a clear and gentle voice just what a Pagan is, what a Wiccan believes and how one Pagan family celebrates throughout the year.

You will learn about:
  • the 8 Sabbat celebrations
  • a full moon celebration
  • a home blessing ritual
  • a spell to banish bad dreams
  • and more...



Because Brian Hugged His Mother
David L. Rice, Kathryn Dyble Thompson

Kindness IS contagious, and this story shows how even young Brian can start a chain reaction that brings a bit of joy to people he does not even know. It all starts out one morning when Brian wakes up and gives his mother a hug. A hug from Brian touches many people (and even animals), often in a humorous way. If you like to hug and share your joy with children, this book is for you - and for them.



Each Living Thing
Joanne Ryder

This poetic celebration of animals large and small reminds us that while some creatures are cuddly and companionable, others can be ferocious, helpless, or shy. No matter how creepy, slimy, mean, or odd an animal might seem, they all need us to be considerate of them. As a day moves gently from morning to night, a variety of children interact with--or keep a respectful distance from--creatures in their natural environments. Ashley Wolff's luscious, exquisitely detailed illustrations and Joanne Ryder's lyrical text inspire a sense of wonder at the animal world around us.
  • An acclaimed nonfiction author and the illustrator of the bestselling Miss Bindergarten series collaborate for the first time
  • Children's Book-of-the-Month Club selection
  • A poetic lullaby that celebrates relationships between children and animals and also addresses fear of animals



Jethro Byrd, Fairy Child
Bob Graham

Annabelle’s dad has little time for fairies, which he assures her she won’t find in the cement and the weeds of their urban backyard. But Annabelle has lots of time, so she keeps looking - even under her baby brother, Sam. And one day she finds what she’s looking for: a thumb-sized fairy child named Jethro Byrd, whose family has made an awkward landing in a tiny ice cream truck among some discarded bottles and cans. What a wonderful chance to invite all the Byrds for tea with Mommy and Daddy! But why, Annabelle wonders - as the fairies fiddle and sing and dance and whistle away among the cake crumbs - are she and Sam the only ones who can see them?



Smoky and the Feast of Mabon
Catherynne M. Valente

Upset at the sight of her dying flowers, Smoky goes into the woods where she has always felt safe. Now she's lost! What is that glow in the woods before her? Follow a little girl as she discovers the meaning of Mabon in the wood behind her house, where a magical meal awaits her between the old year and the new year.An eagerly awaited addition to the Magical Child Story collection, Smoky and the Feast of Mabon is a mystical and whimsical story with the flavor of an old fashioned fairy tale. Lively and spirited woodland creatures delight young children with an Autumn Equinox story that is sure to become a family favorite.



The Great Kapok Tree
Lynne Cherry

Exhausted from his labors, a man chopping down a great kapok tree in the Brazilian rain forest puts down his ax, and, as he sleeps, the animals who live in the tree plead with him not to destroy their world.



Watchers
W. Lyon Martin

Who's hiding in corners and watching in the dark? A trap is set and our hero receives a big surprise when the watchers are finally captured.Something is watching Thomas as he's sleeping. He decides that he will discover who is frightening him and hatches a plan to catch them in a trap. The story goes from spooky to secure when Thomas discovers those he has captured are really there to protect him.

A bouncing bedtime tale your kids are sure to request again and again even after they know the secret.



Growing Up Pagan
Raine Hill

Finally, a children's workbook designed for Pagan families! Rich, exciting stories to read together and discuss, as well as activities to reinforce lessons in a fun way. Chock-full of puzzles, games, mythology, beautiful illustrations, and Pagan symbols, this workbook teaches the basic Wiccan belief system. Let this be a family affair, with parents, older siblings, and young children taking part in a "something-for-everyone" Pagan experience. A teaching tool for Pagan families, or others wanting to teach their children diversity.



Rabbit's Song
S. J. Tucker

In the time before time, Trickster searches among all the animals for a teacher of man. One by one, he examines and dismisses Bear, Cat, Tiger, Dog and Wolf as being too frightening. Trickster at last settles on the humble and unimposing Rabbit with his companions, Coyote, Raven and Crow as the very beasts to teach the Way of Laughter.

As the story unfolds, the reader is taken on a journey of warmth and humor full of visual delights and details reminiscent of the worldwide Trickster tales which sparked the story s inspiration.

Trudy Herring's imaginative story, S.J. Tucker's lyrical ballad complemented by W. Lyon Martin's lively illustration creates a book young and old readers will delight in for years to come.



The Hero and the Minotaur
Robert Byrd

Lavishly illustrated and impeccably researched, this is a dynamic retelling of one of the greatest adventure stories of all time. Join Theseus as he solves the mystery of his birth, vanquishes a colorful cast of robbers, and volunteers to slay the frightful half-bull, half-man devouring the children of Athens. In a captivating tale for readers of all ages, destinies tragic and glorious splendidly unfold.This is a sure bet for fans of mythology and a wonderful introduction for readers who have not yet discovered the fascinating world of the ancient Greeks.



The Last Wild Witch
Starhawk

A great book to illustrate freedom, tolerance, courage, the wonder and respect of nature. The illustrations are colorful, lively. A good lesson to be learned by all in this wonderful little story. We need more like it. (review)



Walking the World in Wonder
Ellen Evert Hopman

Walking the World in Wonder covers the medicinal and magical uses of sixty-seven common herbs. Each herb playfully introduces itself and talks about its habitat and many uses. With fun, easy-to-follow activities, herbalist Ellen Evert Hopman teaches children basic herbal skills and invites them to make a sunflower seed mosaic, sew a catnip-filled mouse, and dig for Jerusalem artichoke roots. The book also includes simple recipes that children can use, with adult supervision, to treat minor ailments--peppermint tea to soothe a troubled tummy or horse chestnut salve to heal a scraped knee. Children gain a sense of self-sufficiency and awe for the earth's treasures by eating wild nettle greens, sprinkling a sandwich with nasturtium flowers, making strawberry honey, and learning to season food with dill they've gathered themselves. Parents and teachers will appreciate how these earth-centered activities are placed within a broader social and environmental context. Sixty-seven full-color photographs enable children, parents, and teachers to identify these herbs during walks and field trips. Walking the World in Wonder gives children a direct and joyous experience of their connection to the natural world and inspires a lifelong interest in their own health and that of the planet.



Charge of the Goddess coloring book
Darla Hallmark

An elegant recounting of the Charge of the Goddess, fully illustrated in colorable pictures. Fascinating detail, beautiful knotwork borders. Drawn by a noted fantasy illustrator especially for both children and adults to color.



Grandmothers' Stories
Burleigh Muten

The stories in this anthology illustrate many of the qualities of the wise woman, offering readers of all ages a new perspective on the grandmother character that is usually presented in fairy tales as either menacingly evil or dim-witted and useless. With spirited grandmothers from as far afield as Senegal and Sweden, all of these tales are rich with humor, action and suspense. A fresh and witty retelling is complemented by finely detailed and mesmerizing illustrations.



The Lorax
Dr. Seuss

"Unless someone like you...cares a whole awful lot...nothing is going to get better...It's not."

Long before saving the earth became a global concern, Dr. Seuss, speaking through his character the Lorax, warned against mindless progress and the danger it posed to the earth's natural beauty.



Earth, Fire, Water, Air
Mary Hoffman

Dramatizes the original elements known to the ancient world--earth, fire, water, and air--recounting tales of how these life-giving elements gave rise to legends, gods, heroes, and mythical beasts.



Goddesses - A World of Myth and Magic
Burleigh Muten

For many thousands of years, stories of goddesses have inspired women and girls from all over the world. Now, the strength and power of these divine women has been collected into one breathtaking volume, featuring fascinating descriptions by goddess expert Burleigh Muten of over one hundred of the world's most celebrated goddesses. With stunning classical artwork by Rebecca Guay, the entries and images in Goddesses come together to form a powerful mirror that illuminates the most radiant and complex aspects of womankind, helping to redefine what it is to be feminine. A perfect gift for mothers, daughters, best friends, and for anyone looking for personal empowerment in book volume will open girls and women to their true potential and help release the goddess energy that is latent in every one of them.



Sun, Moon, and Stars
Mary Hoffman

Few books for children attempt the richness of ideas and pictures found here, wrote Booklist about Earth, Fire, Water, Air. Now, in this stunning sequel, the lush folkloric illustration style of Jane Ray augments the fluid storytelling of Mary Hoffman to explore the eternal mysteries of the heavens--the sun, moon, and stars. This well-researched and highly readable book presents myths and legends gathered from all over, including China, Japan, Egypt, Greece, the Caribbean, and North America. Accompanying these stories are pages of fascinating folk beliefs, sayings, and rhymes of skylore. Jane Ray's sumptuous illustrations, rich with silver and gold, are more exquisite than ever. The smooth, captionlike text makes the book ideal for browsing; its wide range will coordinate with classroom units on ancient astronomy, myths, legends, and cultural history. Sure to please young and old alike. Jane Ray and Mary Hoffman both live in England.



Constellations of the Night Sky
Bruce LaFontaine

Large, double-page illustrations introduce stargazers of all ages to 22 major constellations, among them Aquarius, the water bearer; Orion, the hunter; Gemini, the twins; as well as Canis Major, Taurus, and Leo. Accompanying text relates mythological story behind each constellation's name and identifies its principal stars.



D'Aulaires' Book of Norse Myths
Ingri d'Aulaire

The Norse myths are some of the greatest stories of all time. Weird monsters, thoroughly human gods, elves and sprites and gnomes, with grim giants nursing ancient grudges lurking behind—the mysterious and entrancing world of Norse myth comes alive in these pages thanks to the spellbinding storytelling and spectacular pictures of the incomparable d'Aulairse. In this classic book, the art of the Caldecott Award—winning authors of d'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths, a longtime favorite of children and parent, reaches one of its pinnacles. It offers a way into a world of fantasy and struggle and charm that has served as inspiration for Marvel Comics and the Lord of the Rings.



The Ancient Celtic Festivals
Clare Walker Leslie

Travel 2,500 years back in time to find out where many of our modern holiday traditions originated.



The Lady of Ten Thousand Names
Burleigh Muten

Drawing from traditional tales and sacred texts worldwide, Burleigh Muten presents eight brave and powerful goddesses who struggle with their own unique set of challenges as they strive to assert their independence and authority. This is an experience to share and to treasure.



The Sea Queen and the Shore Witch
Jamie Grandy

This is the mythical tale of ten-year-old Katia's journey to the bottom of the ocean to rescue her mother from the Queen of the Sea. With incredible illustrations and a spellbinding story, The Sea Queen and the Shore Witch will quickly become your children's favorite bed time story.



Whimsical Tarot
Dorothy Morrison

The Whimsical Tarot is a fresh, new approach to a time-honored system. The book was written especially for children and beginners, but tarot adepts will find it useful as well. The easy-to-read style makes it both a wonderful introduction to tarot and the perfect spiritual tool for meditation and daily advice.



Z is for Zeus
Helen L. Wilbur

Whose face launched a thousand ships? Who dropped an apple to win a race? What creature has the head of a woman, the body of a lion, the wings of an eagle, and always wakes up on the wrong side of the bed? The Oracle knows and so will young readers after they encounter the strange creatures, exotic gods, and exciting stories in Z is for Zeus: A Greek Mythology Alphabet.

Human endeavors are often at odds
with the whims and the will and the ways of the gods.
Although they’re up in Olympus without any cares,
they just can’t stop meddling in human affairs.


Series:


Goddess Girls
Joan Holub

Aphrodite the Beauty
Aphrodite the Diva
Artemis the Brave
Artemis the Loyal
Athena the Brain
Athena the Wise
Medusa the Mean
Persephone the Phony
The Girl Games



Pandora

Pandora Gets Angry
Pandora Gets Heart
Pandora Gets Jealous
Pandora Gets Lazy
Pandora Gets Vain


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29 July 2014

Peeing My Pants: A tale of post-partum incontinence.

Peeing your pants is typically territory reserved for the very young or the very old -- you know, the demographics towards whom diaper ads are aimed, whether they be big or small. It shouldn't have anything to do with a woman still in her 20s (if only for a short bit), newly made a mommy and cleaning up that kid's messes.

But I've been finding myself in more and more embarrassing pee-pant predicaments than I care to share since the birth of my son. So rather than hiding behind pee-soaked underwear and pretending like none of this actually ever happened, I thought I'd share some places and points where post-partum pee-pees have reared their ugly heads.

Picking up a baby...

Walking...

Laughing/coughing/sneezing...

Sitting on the toilet... (How irritating is this one? I mean, I've been sitting there for 10 minutes already, and I thought I was done, but the moment I start to stand up, I go just a little more. And a little more, and a little more...)

Getting upset... (Insult to injury, anyone?)

It's something almost no one warns you about. But stress incontinence is actually pretty common in post-partum mothers, so if you're a pee-er as well, you're certainly not alone!

Here are some tips to help you avoid some public accidents:

  1. Empty your bladder, and do it frequently. It may seem obvious, but it should still be mentioned. Because after birth, at least for a while, you will not be able to hold it.
  2. Stay hydrated. It may seem counter-intuitive, but the more concentrated your urine is, the more it irritates your bladder, which makes you need to "go" more urgently. So drink that water!
  3. Wear a pad. It may not be fun, but it's reality. Fortunately, they go really well with those diapers in your diaper bag (and if you use cloth, there are reusable mama pads!).
  4. Kegels! And probably more effective, squats!
  5. Carry a towel in your car to sit on. For... you know, reasons.
  6. Learn to laugh. Like I said, this is really common, so you may as well roll with the punches.

Fortunately, it passes (ha!) as time goes on in most cases (and if it doesn't, it may be SUI and would warrant a visit to your OB). In the meantime, just pack an extra pair of underwear in your purse, no big.

But the embarrassment, especially that time when you think you can hold it as you walk through the grocery store, and you suddenly realize that you can't anymore (see #1)... that may last a lifetime.


Erm... not that that's ever happened...


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28 July 2014

Margot Adler: Wiccan Priestess, Pagan community leader, NPR journalist

I don't often blog about my spirituality, but I feel like this needs to be broadcast around the world. One of the most poignant book on Paganism I've ever read was Drawing Down the Moon: Witches, Druids, Goddess-Worshippers, and Other Pagans in America, easily one of my favorite books on goddess worship and earth-based religions. Just... fantastic. It was one of the books that set me on the path I wear down today.

The Pagan community was dealt a devastating blow when an incredibly influential leader and author of Drawing Down the Moon, Margot Adler, passed today of cancer. Her son Alex wrote today on her Facebook page:



Many of my Pagan friends and I have been moved to tears as a result. While I personally never had the distinct pleasure of meeting her, she was an incredibly wise, talented, and diverse individual who did great work both in the Pagan and general American communities. I only wish I had the opportunity.

For more on Margot and her breadth of work, feel free to check out this NPR article on her (did I mention she was a regular journalist with them? For 30 years!), her Wiki article, and a heartfelt goodbye from Patheos.

And now, if you'll excuse me... I've got some reading to do, in honor of an incredible woman lost to this world. ♥

Blessed be, y'all.

Image courtesy of The Wild Hunt.


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