Letter To My Teenage Angst: 10-Year Time Capsule

Hi there, hon. Please... put that down for just a second and listen. I promise these words offer hope.

You're in a terrible place right now, I know it. You're struggling with who you are as a person, as a daughter, as a friend, and as a child on the brink of adulthood. You have these grand ambitions and ideas for your life, but you feel inhibited by fears and doubts.

I'll tell you right now, this road won't be easy. In fact, you'll contemplate picking that back up again, making sure you neither have a racing or horrible thought nor a shred of doubt ever again.

Let me tell you something, though. I've lived the next ten years of your life, gone down every road imaginable and landed in a place that you and I have never imagined. Can you believe that, ten years from now, you'll be solid in your faith? Sure, you might feel like there's more to learn, but there always is, and you're going to find pleasure in learning those things. And even better, you won't be doubted anymore for your faith. I know that's hard to believe now, but...



Well, let me back up (or, in your case, fast forward) to just before your 26th birthday. It's Halloween, Samhain, a time for rebirth. You're standing at an altar, across from your soon-to-be husband, with a cantor who is blending your two faiths in a way that makes those watching speechless from the beauty contained in your ceremony and your vows. You're taking people's breaths away with each smile, each twinkle in your eye, each time you or your soon-to-be husband grab each other's hands as you profess your love.



And would you believe it? Your parents are standing there with you! Not just among the crowd, but at your side, shedding happy tears of their own as their daughter is joined with the love of her life in a combined Jewish-Pagan wedding ceremony. Complete with handfasting and broom hop! Bet you never saw that coming, huh?



In fact, there are lots of cool things going on in your life! You will successfully graduate from college, you have a wonderful career as a paralegal (even if your attorney drives you nuts sometimes...), you live in Maryland of all places (and yes, the snow does suck, but it's also magical in its own way), you write a blog that gives you joy, and you own a house with your husband! Pretty cool!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Unfortunately, no, you still won't have a motorcycle. ;)"][/caption]

Not to say that there weren't hardships to get to this point. You'll be brought to hell and back by someone who disrespects you as a person and, more specifically, as a naive young woman. You'll sink further as you hide this from family and friends, and even further as you're accused of actually wanting this uninvited attention. It will literally take years of heartache, hours of therapy, and surprise encounters until you're able to share.

You'll also have enlightening yet terrifying experiences in which you discover who you are, especially when it comes to mental health. There is, in fact, a reason for these irrational, racing, fear-fraught thoughts and feelings. With answers comes understanding, and with understanding comes the fear that you can't overcome it. I promise you can, but I also promise it's going to be a daily struggle.

Fortunately, it gets better from there.



In fact, everything after that point is no longer an uphill battle -- it'll be as so the hand of the goddess herself has lifted you from your misery and placed you back on solid ground, with everything suddenly figured out. You will have learned great lessons these next ten years of your life, and you will use those lessons to connect to others and love others in a way you never thought possible. You'll have wonderful, fulfilling relationships with everyone around you; successes that make your family and yourself proud; and just... okay, I don't want to spoil it. But trust me, you will be loving it.

So please, I beg you again... put that down. This time, for more than a second. For you have millions of them left to live. :D

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This week's prompt:

Write a letter to yourself at age sixteen. What might you tell your sixteen year-old self? Would you warn yourself not to make a certain mistake? Would you ask yourself to treasure being young? Would you tell yourself how much you've changed? You can write the letter from your present self, or from someone else entirely. Feel free to take this in an unexpected direction. Good luck!