Pregnancy: 19w - Weight

First, in case you missed it: Matt and I are having a boy!! :)

Yesterday was my almost-midpoint midwife appointment at Special Beginnings, and it went really well! Though it was shorter than all my other visits so far (most have been at least 45 minutes and up to two hours, this one was about 30 minutes), I felt like all my questions and concerns were addressed. I did forget to mention the nosebleeds I've been having pretty regularly, but I did remember a lot. :P

One thing my midwives have learned about me was how in-tune I am with my body and its changes thus far. I kind of pride myself in having a close connection to my body, and it's no different in pregnancy. I've been feeling a lot of movement recently, and when my midwife discussed it with me, she mentioned it was really early to start feeling movement, especially with a first pregnancy. Imagine her surprise when I mentioned that Matt, by stroke of pure luck, felt Kit kick at about 16 weeks!

I also mentioned that, at some points of the day, I'll walk around and it'll feel like Kit is being bobbed around in a bowl of water or something, like my abs can't support Kit or his temporary home. She said that this was normal, too, but like the movement and kicking, most women don't feel this until later in their pregnancy -- in both cases, around 24 weeks. She thought that was pretty cool, too!

Well, it was obvious at that point that weight had come up a couple times, and while she mentioned I was thin, she also mentioned that my weight gain (or lack thereof) is a little cause for concern. Not that she's terribly worried about it right now, but she says we may need to monitor it a bit. I've only gained, as of yesterday's appointment, around 7lbs, and she expected somewhere around 10-12lbs by 20 weeks, if not by now.

So I'm a little under target for weight.

Not that this should be a huge surprise, though. I've had body issues for as long as I can remember, the worst of it coming to a peak when we first moved to Maryland in December 2009. I had left Florida with Matt at my highest weight to date, and you could tell: It was absolutely everywhere. My face, my limbs, my middle were all much bigger than I would have liked. I won't tell the exact number (not polite to ask a lady's weight! ;)), but I can assure you I easily had 20-25lbs to lose.

I made a resolution when we moved here that I would start taking care of myself a lot better. We were eating out a lot in Orlando, going out to bars and restaurants often late at night and often for football games... and y'all know how good football food is for you. It's really no wonder that I gained so much weight! So we stopped doing this (at least on as regular a basis as it was) and started eating better.

I also started a local yoga class, attending once a week for an hour. While it doesn't sound like much, that little bit of exercise, plus whatever I did at home, and the changes we made to our diets really helped. A year went by, and I had lost about 15lbs.

The other five to 10 were lost the following year, and I managed to keep it all off that year and the one following. I was never a "calorie-counter" (that's Matt's job, a job he can keep, thank you very much), but I was conscious about what I ate and conscious about what I did to better my body.

Through that time, I grew much more in-tune with myself, both physically and emotionally, and I noticed a great change in both. This was a great thing!

The bad thing was when I started associating that physical and emotional well-being with the number on a scale.

I became obsessed with that instead of with calories, restricting myself whenever I saw the numbers start to creep up (even if for a day or two) and chastising myself whenever I ate something that wasn't great for me. While it never turned into a full-blown eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia -- I'm emetophobic, so that never would have happened, at least, lol -- it DID become something that consumed my life.

So you can imagine that, considering this is a situation in which I need to gain weight for my own health and that of my unborn child, both in pregnancy and afterward (my midwife stressed the importance of fat stores when breastfeeding), it can be a little triggering to see the number on the scale start to climb. In my mind, I was reversing all the progress I had made and the maintenance I had kept over the years.

18w6d, about 7lbs up from pre-preggo weight.

This is something I struggled with from the very beginning of this pregnancy, and something I'm sure I'll battle until the very end, especially because it's suggested I gain between 25 and 35lbs over the entire course. Just the mere thought of gaining that sends me into a tizzy.

And of course, my body is working against me in all ways: Any fat that I got in my diet before getting pregnant was consumed through cheese and other dairy, avocados, and peanuts (I'm allergic to tree nuts, so those are out), and they all sound entirely unappealing to me now. Just the though of a PB&J actually makes me want to gag. So... finding things with fats that are vegetarian, without being slathered in oil or deep-fried, is going to be pretty difficult!

Guess I'll keep y'all updated about that as I go along. :)

The point of all this is that, though I intellectually know that weight gain is good for Kit (especially considering where I started off), I have to start emotionally realizing that and putting at least some bit of weight gain at the forefront. It's going to take a lot of work, I'm sure, to overcome those hurdles, but it's what's best.

After all, it can't be that difficult to lose after Kit's born!

Pregnancy: 19w

What I love: How everything is going! Apparently, all is really well. I had my 19-week appointment with the midwives yesterday and have my anatomy scan tomorrow morning, so hopefully all is well there!

What I hate: Pregnancy pains! [Same]

What I miss: My body, already. And I’m not even halfway through! [Same]

What I’m looking forward to the most: Tomorrow's anatomy scan and daycare interviews! Matt and I are taking the whole day off for this purpose. We're also (hopefully) getting some furniture in this coming week, and once we have the crib, we're going to get some paint. YESSSS. :)

Worries: I had some cramps yesterday and the day before that really freaked me out, but I feel reassured after talking to my midwife.

Symptoms: A bigger belly, lots of hip pain, pregnancy rhinitis, nosebleeds, some nausea on and off. I feel great otherwise! [Same]

Mood: Pretty good! [Same]

Sleep: Getting worse and worse. I've woken up almost every night this week to either pee or blow my nose, the latter of which always produces some blood. Sigh. I used the neti pot before bed last night to see if that would help, and miraculously, it did! So I'm going to do that nightly. Matt DID keep waking me up last night, though, because I was snoring... :P

Movement: Yes! Lots of it, too! :) [Same]

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! Totally weird, though, it’s definitely more shallow! And the belly is bigger! OMG, is it bigger. [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: On!

Weight gain: I’m up about 7lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.

Milestones: Having everything be a-OK at our appointment yesterday! :)

The midwife did have one concern, though, about my weight. If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of thin, and I've only gained 7lbs from pre-pregnancy. I'm hoping this lack of weight gain isn't affecting Kit at all, though from these kicks, he seems okay. We'll see tomorrow.

Apparently, for my height and weight, the midwifery practice typically expects a 10-12lb weight gain by 20 weeks, which is just next week. That would mean packing on 3-5lbs in a matter of a week to meet that goal. She said it isn't a huge concern if I don't reach that, but if it's still low at my next appointment (2 January), they're going to look into ways to help.

In fact, I'm going to make this issue the topic for another blog post, which I may cross-post to TCC. In the meantime, more fun stuff! :)

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.

Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

How your life's changing:

Think you're big now? You'll start growing even faster in the weeks to come. As a result, you may notice some achiness in your lower abdomen or even an occasional brief, stabbing pain on one or both sides — especially when you shift position or at the end of an active day. Most likely, this is round ligament pain. The ligaments that support your uterus are stretching to accommodate its increasing weight. This is nothing to be alarmed about, but call your practitioner if the pain continues even when you're resting or becomes severe.

You may be noticing some skin changes, too. Are the palms of your hands red? Nothing to worry about — it's from the extra estrogen. You may also have patches of darkened skin caused by a temporary increase in pigment. When these darker patches appear on your upper lip, cheeks, and forehead, they're called chloasma, or the "mask of pregnancy." You may also notice some darkening of your nipples, freckles, scars, underarms, inner thighs, and vulva. That darkened line running from your belly button to your pubic bone is called the linea nigra, or "dark line."

These darkened spots will probably fade shortly after delivery. In the meantime, protect yourself from the sun, which intensifies the pigment changes. Cover up, wear a brimmed hat, and use sunscreen when you're outdoors. And if you're self-conscious about your "mask," a little concealing makeup can work wonders.

Soothe aching muscles "Try gently massaging your achy ligaments, or use a heating pad or warm facecloth where it hurts." — Anonymous

Decision Guide: Naming your baby

For many couples, settling on a name for their baby is a lot of fun. For others, it's a tortuous process of negotiation. Either way, it's an important decision because you're choosing something that will last a lifetime (unless your little one decides to rename herself along the way). Here are some factors to consider when you're deciding on a name:

• Sound and compatibility How your baby's name sounds when it's said aloud is one of the most essential things to think about. Is it melodious? Harsh? Does it go well with your last name? One thing to avoid: Choosing a first name that ends in the same sound as the beginning of your last name.


• Uniqueness An unusual name has the advantage of making your child stand out from the crowd. On the other hand, a name no one has heard of and few can pronounce can bring attention your child might rather avoid. Spelling variations can help make a name unique, but choosing a name with numerous spellings can cause confusion in your child's life for years to come.


• Relatives and friends Many parents choose to name their babies after a grandparent, another relative, or a close friend. Don't want too many Michaels in your house? Look way back in your family tree for hidden treasures. And if you're worried about hurt feelings, consider a first name from one side of the family and a middle name from the other. According to a BabyCenter survey, middle names are a must for most parents; 98 percent give their child a middle name, with 7 percent of those parents giving their child two or more middle names.


• Ancestry and heritage Your child's heritage is an essential part of who she is, and you may want her name to reflect that. Skim history books focusing on your family's country of origin to find appropriate possibilities.


• Meaning No one is likely to treat your daughter Ingrid differently because her name means "hero's daughter," but the derivation of your baby's name is something you may want to think about. Use BabyCenter's Baby Name tool to learn the meaning of over 5,000 names.


• Initials and nicknames People, especially kids, can be cruel when it comes to nicknames, so try to anticipate any potentially embarrassing ones. Consider your child's initials as well, so you don't inadvertently saddle her with a doozy like Z.I.T. or P.E.E.


• Many people going through pregnancy like to refer to their growing baby by name — or nickname.

One of the best tests for a baby name is to yell it out loud, preferably at a playground. If you feel uncomfortable saying the name in that setting, it might not be the best choice.

This Week's Activity

Start your childcare search. It may seem early to you, but the best centers often have long waiting lists and it's easier to go on tours now than when you have an infant in tow. You have many options, so review the pluses and minuses of daycare centers, nanny care, home daycare, and relative care. Put your name on a few lists even if you aren't sure what you'll do. When the time comes, you may be grateful for the options.

Baby Kit: Weight Gain

First, in case you missed it: Matt and I are having a boy!!



Yesterday was my almost-midpoint midwife appointment at Special Beginnings, and it went really well! Though it was shorter than all my other visits so far (most have been at least 45 minutes and up to two hours, this one was about 30 minutes), I felt like all my questions and concerns were addressed. I did forget to mention the nosebleeds I’ve been having pretty regularly, but I did remember a lot.

One thing my midwives have learned about me was how in-tune I am with my body and its changes thus far. I kind of pride myself in having a close connection to my body, and it’s no different in pregnancy. I’ve been feeling a lot of movement recently, and when my midwife discussed it with me, she mentioned it was really early to start feeling movement, especially with a first pregnancy. Imagine her surprise when I mentioned that Matt, by stroke of pure luck, felt Kit kick at about 16 weeks!

I also mentioned that, at some points of the day, I’ll walk around and it’ll feel like Kit is being bobbed around in a bowl of water or something, like my abs can’t support Kit or his temporary home. She said that this was normal, too, but like the movement and kicking, most women don’t feel this until later in their pregnancy — in both cases, around 24 weeks. She thought that was pretty cool, too!

Well, it was obvious at that point that weight had come up a couple times, and while she mentioned I was thin, she also mentioned that my weight gain (or lack thereof) is a little cause for concern. Not that she’s terribly worried about it right now, but she says we may need to monitor it a bit. I’ve only gained, as of yesterday’s appointment, around 7lbs, and she expected somewhere around 10-12lbs by 20 weeks, if not by now.

So I’m a little under target for weight.



Not that this should be a huge surprise, though. I’ve had body issues for as long as I can remember, the worst of it coming to a peak when we first moved to Maryland in December 2009. I had left Florida with Matt at my highest weight to date, and you could tell: It was absolutely everywhere. My face, my limbs, my middle were all much bigger than I would have liked. I won’t tell the exact number (not polite to ask a lady’s weight! ), but I can assure you I easily had 20-25lbs to lose.

I made a resolution when we moved here that I would start taking care of myself a lot better. We were eating out a lot in Orlando, going out to bars and restaurants often late at night and often for football games… and y’all know how good football food is for you. It’s really no wonder that I gained so much weight! So we stopped doing this (at least on as regular a basis as it was) and started eating better.

I also started a local yoga class, attending once a week for an hour. While it doesn’t sound like much, that little bit of exercise, plus whatever I did at home, and the changes we made to our diets really helped. A year went by, and I had lost about 15lbs.

The other five to 10 were lost the following year, and I managed to keep it all off that year and the one following. I was never a “calorie-counter” (that’s Matt’s job, a job he can keep, thank you very much), but I was conscious about what I ate and conscious about what I did to better my body.

Through that time, I grew much more in-tune with myself, both physically and emotionally, and I noticed a great change in both. This was a great thing!

The bad thing was when I started associating that physical and emotional well-being with the number on a scale.

I became obsessed with that instead of with calories, restricting myself whenever I saw the numbers start to creep up (even if for a day or two) and chastising myself whenever I ate something that wasn’t great for me. While it never turned into a full-blown eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia — I’m emetophobic, so that never would have happened, at least, lol — it DID become something that consumed my life.

So you can imagine that, considering this is a situation in which I need to gain weight for my own health and that of my unborn child, both in pregnancy and afterward (my midwife stressed the importance of fat stores when breastfeeding), it can be a little triggering to see the number on the scale start to climb. In my mind, I was reversing all the progress I had made and the maintenance I had kept over the years.

[caption id="attachment_1528" align="aligncenter" width="373" caption="18w6d, about 7lbs up from pre-preggo weight."][/caption]

This is something I struggled with from the very beginning of this pregnancy, and something I’m sure I’ll battle until the very end, especially because it’s suggested I gain between 25 and 35lbs over the entire course. Just the mere thought of gaining that sends me into a tizzy.

And of course, my body is working against me in all ways: Any fat that I got in my diet before getting pregnant was consumed through cheese and other dairy, avocados, and peanuts (I’m allergic to tree nuts, so those are out), and they all sound entirely unappealing to me now. Just the though of a PB&J actually makes me want to gag. So… finding things with fats that are vegetarian, without being slathered in oil or deep-fried, is going to be pretty difficult!

Guess I’ll keep y’all updated about that as I go along.

The point of all this is that, though I intellectually know that weight gain is good for Kit (especially considering where I started off), I have to start emotionally realizing that and putting at least some bit of weight gain at the forefront. It’s going to take a lot of work, I’m sure, to overcome those hurdles, but it’s what’s best.

After all, it can’t be that difficult to lose after Kit’s born!

Pregnancy: 18w5d - Thanksgiving (and other holidays)

Yesterday, I briefly touched on Matt's and my tentative plans for Thanksgiving from here on out, and I alluded to our pseudo-agreement. Since I promptly forgot after posting, I never did get to it, so I'll explain now. :)

Y'all remember my pissy post, wherein I lamented not seeing my family for a while, right? It all came flooding back after our Thanksgiving trip down to Florida. I was still pretty adamant about going down every Thanksgiving, but as of when we left for Maryland, I hadn't told Matt yet.

So I told him this past weekend. We were driving somewhere (I forgot where), and I broke it to him, saying that I planned on spending every Thanksgiving down with my family. Before I got the chance to explain, he got REALLY pissed off -- why am I suddenly changing plans (we never had any, really, but okay), what about his family, and so forth.

I explained exactly what I heard from my mom. (And this is super-duper on the DL, considering its sensitive nature.)

Back before I started college, in 2002, my dad lost his job. My mom had been a SAHM until that point, but she managed to get a job that same month at the elementary school where my siblings and I all attended and where she had been volunteering for years. My dad hasn't really found steady work since, and my mom's job pays peanuts, with half of her salary going to healthcare (seriously, it's ridiculous).

Considering all this, they're in pretty dire financial straits, so much so that they're upside down on their house, among other things. My mom was talking to me about their finances, and apparently (though she hasn't told my dad yet -- he has major pride issues), she's been looking into downsizing to a trailer or mobile park.

Now THAT'S bad. :(

My sister and her husband are in no better a financial situation, and my brother is in college, so that makes it difficult for either of them to come up, too. And my grandma's almost 90 -- there's no way we can ask her to come up.

Because of this, my family will likely never be able to travel up, especially for the holidays. My mom's summer trips up here, which she's been doing for the past few years, will likely come to an end, too. So realistically, how often Matt and I go down will mean how often we -- and our son -- get to see my family.

Once I explained all this to Matt, he was just shocked that it has gotten that bad. It's especially stark when compared to my in-laws' situation, which is much better and explains why we see Matt's mom much more often than my own. (SFIL, he doesn't come up often strictly because he doesn't like to travel, lol.) Same with his grandparents and other family members.

So far, we've come to an agreement that we'll do Thanksgiving for three years, then a year at our place (and maybe we'll finance my family coming up) and fly down that year for Christmas or something.

It really sucks to have to do this, but I really want my family to know the newest addition to their family, too, and while Matt's family (his mom especially) is going to have several opportunities to do so, my family definitely won't.

We need to hammer out the details -- and let his mom down, lol -- but I think it'll turn out fine.

Pregnancy: 18w(4d... a little late)

Thanks to the holidays, I'm a little behind on this. I don't want to forget, though. :)

What I love: That we're having a little BOY!! I admit that I had an hour or so the night we found out, lying alone in my old bedroom, about whether I was actually excited about a son, but I totally am. As is Matt. :)

What I hate: Pregnancy pains!

What I miss: My body, already. And I’m not even halfway through! [Same]

What I’m looking forward to the most: Getting our furniture in!! We ordered it today (thank you, Cyber Monday), and we should get it the first week of December, if not earlier. I just realized that's, like, Saturday...

Worries: I've been too busy to worry lately. LOL

Symptoms: A bigger belly, lots of hip pain, pregnancy rhinitis, nosebleeds, some nausea on and off. I feel great otherwise!

Mood: Pretty good!

Sleep: Getting more poor. I had a difficult time sleeping last night and woke up several times to adjust a pillow, blow my nose, pee, adjust another pillow, cover Matt's face when he snored...

Movement: Yes! Lots of it, too! :)

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! Totally weird, though, it’s definitely more shallow! And the belly is bigger! OMG, is it bigger. [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: On!

Weight gain: I’m up about 6-7lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.

Milestones: We found out we're having a BOY!! :D We're having an anatomy ultrasound this Friday, so we get to see him again soon! We're also looking for daycares this Friday, which should be soooo exciting, lol.

Best moment of the week: Aside from the ultrasound? I mean, that part was awesome -- we had both our families there! The woman giving the exam did a little bit of 3D, and while it was a bit creepy (it probably looks better if you're 24 weeks or more), we DID get to see Kit do a little boxing jab! That explains all the sudden movement I have in there. XD

I also got to spend a ton of time with my family over Thanksgiving, and Matt and I came to a pseudo-consensus about Thanksgiving for years to come (we'll have to discuss it more). I'll have a separate post about that later.

All in all, this was a great week!

How your baby's growing:

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

How your life's changing:

Hungry? An increase in appetite is pretty common about now. Make it count by choosing meals and snacks that are rich in nutrients instead of empty calories (chips, French fries, candy, and other sweets). Bigger, more comfortable clothes are a must now as your appetite and waistline grow.

Your cardiovascular system is undergoing dramatic changes, and during this trimester your blood pressure will probably be lower than usual. Don't spring up too fast from a lying or sitting position or you might feel a little dizzy.

From now on, when you do lie down, it's best to lie on your side — or at least partly tilted to one side. (When you lie flat on your back, your uterus can compress a major vein, leading to decreased blood return to your heart.) Try placing a pillow behind you or under your hip or upper leg for comfort.

If you haven't already had a second-trimester ultrasound, you'll probably have one soon. This painless procedure helps your practitioner check how your baby's growing, screen for certain birth defects, check the placenta and umbilical cord, determine whether the due date you're working with is accurate, and see how many babies you're carrying. During the exam, you might see your baby moving around or sucking his thumb. Bring your partner along, and be sure to ask for a printout for your baby's first photo album!

Afternoon energy booster "If you're finding it hard to get through the afternoon at work without a little nap, find a place you can escape for 15 to 20 minutes (close your office door, use a conference room, even sit in your car). Bring a small travel alarm clock and set it for 15 minutes." — Laura

This Week's Activity:

Look into childbirth classes. The best and most popular ones fill up fast so start your search now. Classes vary quite a bit in their approach. Some are spread out over several weeks, while others are as short as a day. Your hospital probably offers classes, but you may want to take a specialized class elsewhere. To find a class, get recommendations from your healthcare provider and your friends, or call the International Childbirth Education Association at (952) 854-8660 for information about childbirth educators in your area.

Pregnancy: 17w5d - Pissy

I know I haven't really talked about the bad lately. Fortunately, there isn't much of it, but ever since I got out of my first trimester...

I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I am just angry at absolutely everything. Even as I sit at my desk (I leave for vacation today, so naturally, I have done almost nothing but sit here and seethe), I want to smash things and yell and cry.

It's absolutely bizarre. There are stressors, sure, and they really are hitting hard right now, but not really much more than usual.

Okay, I lied. They're ARE much more than usual. Matt and I got into a fight yesterday about his parents, my in-laws. His mom in specific.

It always seems to come back to her. >:|

The Tarot actually predicted this, some sort of me being in the middle to keep peace, but working against two opposite forces. It absolutely sucks.

Anyway, the gist of it was that Matt believes I should stay in contact with his mom and his Nana more often than I already do -- return all their phone calls and emails (there are a lot), actually initiate phone calls, stay in touch more than once a week (which is a lot, anyway). It's hard because sometimes they talk about me in emails or phone calls strictly to him, and he feels like he's the go-between. Which is kind of true, but it's like... why not ask me about it?

Not that I'm going to respond all the time because, really, I don't want to open the floodgates and have them believe that it's okay to contact me all the goddamn time, especially when...

Okay, so here's the thing. My in-laws want me to tell them about my pregnancy every step of the way, right? Matt was mad because I don't, and I shot back, "You realize that I don't even tell my family half of what's going on with the pregnancy, right?"

And I seriously don't. Unless I'm asked how I'm doing (which is admittedly rare -- my family is like me in that they won't really ask, they'll just wait for you to volunteer information if you want to), I generally just keep it to myself. Because really, what all is going on aside from, pregnancy is okay, there are good days and bad, not really much to talk about, there's still a baby in there, congratulations?

It surprised Matt that I don't, but there isn't a lot to tell. But to be constantly bombarded with baby information, stories, questions, asking how I'm doing, constant gushing about their graaaandchiiiiild...

It's the same as everything else. Like when MIL asked if we could come over to her house after the ultrasound for dinner, after we TOLD her that I could NOT because my midwife doesn't (and therefore we don't) feel comfortable with me taking a Class B medication on a daily basis or a Class C medication too often, except when potentially life-threatening.

And despite being reminded of this multiple times -- AND having to tell Matt's Nana even though I'm sure she heard it from MIL or Matt, at the very least -- she STILL asked. And threw a fit when we reminded her that, no, we can't.

But noooo, it's all about her. All about what she wants to do and how she's involved and how it will affect her. She completely forgets that I have a family of my own, for chrissake. I mean, for Thanksgiving, she invited us over AGAIN despite the fact that my family has plans like they do every year, and...

We see Matt's family a lot. Like, a LOT. Matt still doesn't realize that how often we see them, especially his mom, and how little we see mine. I know it's not their faults, but my family can't come up nearly as often as they just... aren't as well-off as my in-laws are. So really, the only time we can see my family is when we go down south.

To make my point, we last saw my family at my sister's wedding, mid-February. My mom did come up for a little less than a week in early June. Not only did we see Matt's family while we were down for my sister's wedding, she also came up TWICE after my mom's visit in the summer.

And Matt, of course, forgot that it's been almost a full year since I've seen my sister or my brother or my dad or my grandma.

So of course, MIL doesn't realize this, either, nor does she particularly care, I'm sure. She wants us there all the damn time. I'm sure she's going to be really offended if we ever determine we're going to spend a holiday with my family and not hers, or that I won't be able to go to her house because SERIOUSLY her house makes me want to die.

Next year, Thanksgiving is being held at my uncle-in-law's place. They have a huge dog, too, and a cat, so it's going to be awesome allergen and asthma city for me. I'm thisclose to considering taking the baby and going to S FL to celebrate with my family. It's partially because I am just so damn tired of dealing with the allergies, and partially because... you know what?

I DON'T see my family that often. I WANT to spend more time with them. I don't WANT to have to go everywhere that Matt wants us to go just because he feels guilt-tripped into attending.

(And we have a bar mitzvah for his side, and second Sunday dinners, and Chanukah and Passover and other holidays that my family doesn't celebrate, and god knows what else. So you know what? There are plenty of things going on with the in-laws.)

I'm doing it. I'm not going to the in-laws' home next year. I'm spending Thanksgiving with my own family, and I'm bringing the baby with me (I mean, if my family doesn't see me often, then they don't see Kit, either!). Matt can choose whether or not he wants to come with.

I'm just so DONE with this bullshit and backstabbing and talking behind others' backs and guilt-trips and whiny fits.

Pregnancy: 17w4d - Kick, kick, kick!

So I've been feeling movement for the past couple weeks, which has been absolutely amazing. They come and go, and sometimes a day or two goes by when I don't feel anything, but I figure that's kind of normal (that's what I'm telling myself, at least!). They seem to be regular around 2pm and 6 or 7pm, and often times at night. I've also noticed that Kit doesn't like it when someone -- or, in the case of clothing, something -- pushes on my belly and makes Kit's home smaller. ;)

Matt and I were laying in bed on Friday night, and I was on my side. He reached around and put his hand on my tummy, jokingly trying to see if he could feel anything. We both fell quiet for a bit, and since Matt was pressing my stomach, you can imagine Kit didn't like that, and... well, there was a kick! Probably the strongest one I've had yet, and one that really made me wonder if Matt felt it, too.

After the kick, a second or two went by, and without me saying anything, Matt asked, "Did you feel a kick just a second ago?"

I was completely boggled. No way could he feel that, right?! But apparently, he really did! He said he was quiet for that second or two because he wanted to see if that would happen again (it didn't) or if it was gas (I didn't fart, so nope, lol). Just the fact that he asked after such a powerful kick just... it blows my mind!

So Matt got to feel his baby kick for the first time. :) It was the last time Kit kicked quite that hard -- all the other times have been the popcorn feeling I usually get -- and I'm so glad he got to experience it.

Just wait until Kit gets a little bigger. ;)

Baby Kit: Kick, kick, kick!

So I’ve been feeling movement for the past couple weeks, which has been absolutely amazing. They come and go, and sometimes a day or two goes by when I don’t feel anything, but I figure that’s kind of normal (that’s what I’m telling myself, at least!). They seem to be regular around 2pm and 6 or 7pm, and often times at night. I’ve also noticed that Kit doesn’t like it when someone — or, in the case of clothing, something — pushes on my belly and makes Kit’s home smaller. ;)

Matt and I were laying in bed on Friday night, and I was on my side. He reached around and put his hand on my tummy, jokingly trying to see if he could feel anything. We both fell quiet for a bit, and since Matt was pressing my stomach, you can imagine Kit didn’t like that, and… well, there was a kick! Probably the strongest one I’ve had yet, and one that really made me wonder if Matt felt it, too.

After the kick, a second or two went by, and without me saying anything, Matt asked, “Did you feel a kick just a second ago?”

I was completely boggled. No way could he feel that, right?! But apparently, he really did! He said he was quiet for that second or two because he wanted to see if that would happen again (it didn’t) or if it was gas (I didn’t fart, so nope, lol). Just the fact that he asked after such a powerful kick just… it blows my mind!

So Matt got to feel his baby kick for the first time. :) It was the last time Kit kicked quite that hard — all the other times have been the popcorn feeling I usually get — and I’m so glad he got to experience it.

Just wait until Kit gets a little bigger. ;)

Pregnancy: 17w

What I love: Pretty much everything. All the support from family and friends, this little bump and the baby behind it, Matt's never-ending excitement. I also bought a doppler recently, so I've been having fun finding Kit when I have the chance or need some reassurance!

What I hate: That I actually look pregnant, if tiny-pregnant. ;) THAT is taking some getting used to. [Same]

What I miss: My body, already. And I’m not even halfway through! [Same] And a glass of wine.

What I’m looking forward to the most: Thanksgiving, seeing my family, and finding out the sex! [Same]

Worries: I keep worrying when I don’t feel Kit move. I have to reassure myself constantly that I’m only 17w and won’t feel more constant movement for another few weeks or so. Not knowing what’s going on in there is freaking me out a bit. [Same]

Symptoms: A bigger belly, car sickness, some hip pain, and pregnancy rhinitis. Matt says I sound like a goddamn freight train when I sleep. ;) LOLOL

Mood: Varies. I'm having more mood swings, but nothing crazy.

Sleep: Good! Still feel like I'm getting too little. I also need a pillow between my legs when I sleep now!

Movement: Yup! Not so much yesterday, and I'm still waiting for today... but there's movement. :)

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! Totally weird, though, it’s definitely more shallow! And the belly is bigger! OMG, is it bigger. [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: On!

Weight gain: I’m up about 4.5lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight, so 1lb less than last week. It fluctuates between 4 and 5lbs.

Milestones: We get to find out the sex next week!! OMG, next Wednesday!!

Best moment of the week: When two women who work the cafeteria for my job found out. :) One had figured it out last week, but I was in the cafeteria yesterday to grab something, and one pulled me aside and said, "Can I ask you something? And please don't take offense, but... are you pregnant?" I said yes, and they both squeed! Big hugs, lots of gushing over it, it was so incredibly sweet. :) I love those ladies!!

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop.

How your life's changing:

Starting to feel a bit off balance? As your belly grows, your center of gravity changes, so you may begin to occasionally feel a little unsteady on your feet. Try to avoid situations with a high risk of falling. Wear low-heeled shoes to reduce your risk of taking a tumble; trauma to your abdomen could be dangerous for you and your baby. You'll also want to be sure to buckle up when you're in a car — keep the lap portion of the seat belt under your belly, drawn snugly across your hips, and also use the shoulder harness, which should fit snugly between your breasts.

You may also notice your eyes becoming drier. Using over-the-counter lubricating drops may help. If your contact lenses become uncomfortable, try wearing them for shorter stretches of time. If you still have discomfort, switch to glasses until after you give birth.

An easy way to keep track of the nutrients you need "I made a simple chart of the basic food groups and posted it on the refrigerator. At the end of the day, I checked off what I had eaten. Then, for my bedtime snack, I tried to pick something that would fulfill whatever category was lacking — yogurt (or a bowl of ice cream!) if I needed more dairy, for example, or an orange if I needed more fruit." — Anonymous

Dreams During Pregnancy

Many women report that their dream life shifts into high gear during pregnancy. Interestingly, during the second and third trimesters, you spend less sleep time in rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the cycle in which most dreams occur. Why, then, all those frequent and vivid dream memories?

It's probably at least in part because you may be interrupting a dream-filled cycle when you wake up to pee, cope with heartburn, leg cramps, restless legs, or a backache, or to shift to a more comfortable position. Waking up during REM sleep makes you more likely to remember your dreams.

It may also be in part that dreams seem so vivid during pregnancy because for most women pregnancy is a time of such heightened emotions — from joy to apprehension and everything in between — but no one really knows for sure.

Here's a look at some common themes and what they may mean, according to Patricia Garfield, a clinical psychologist and author of Women's Bodies, Women's Dreams.

You're caring for baby animals. During the second trimester, many pregnant women dream about cuddly, baby-like animals, such as puppies, chicks, and kittens. Friendly creatures in your dreams are generally thought to signify that you're tuned in to your instincts. Menacing animals, on the other hand, may represent ambivalence about the strange new creature entering your life.

You have a sexy encounter with an old flame. Many mothers-to-be are concerned about their changing figure and its effect on their sex life — while many others feel more sexually charged than ever. Both feelings are often reflected in your dreams. Not only do erotic dreams offer comforting reassurance, but they may mirror the sexiness you feel during your waking hours, too.

Your mate is straying. If you dream that your partner hooks up with an ex-girlfriend or a total stranger, it can signal insecurity about holding his love and attention through a time of great change. Right now, you're dependent on the goodwill and support of those around you, especially your partner. Fearing his loss is a common emotional reaction to being pregnant.

Since there's nothing you can do to stop the crazy dreams, try having fun with them. Keep a notebook and pen by your bedside to jot them down.

This Week's Activity:

Start a baby name list. Make a list of ten names you like. Have your partner do the same. Trade lists and each cross out one name on the other's list that you dislike. Keep taking turns until you have a set of names you can both live with. Talk about why you like and dislike certain names. Many couples even create ground rules, such as no names of former girlfriends or boyfriends and no names that have ever been used for family pets.

Pregnancy: 16w4d - AWESOME

Matt was being silly earlier and was bopping parts of my body to the new iPad Mini commercial -- you know, where they're playing chopsticks. He hit my belly...

... and Kit kicked back!!

I thought it was a fluke at first, but he did it a few more times, and while it didn't happen each time, it sure happened more than that once!

I grabbed Matt's hand each time and was like, OMG, it happened! It happened!! And he kept doing it over and over just to make Kit kick.

It was amazing. :)

Pregnancy: 16w4d - Let's talk about sex, baby.

Or distinct lack thereof. :P

I loved sex before getting pregnant. I mean, I didn't have a high drive in the first place, but when we had it (and when TTC, we had a LOT of it), I absolutely loved it. I'd get off multiple times, would be all into it, and save for some problems with pain, which were very predictable and easy to work around, it was all-around fantastic.

Cue getting pregnant.

It shouldn't surprise anyone that we didn't have a lot of sex the first trimester, what with all the morning sickness and fun associated with that. When I finally started to feel better, though, I still didn't want it... and now, at almost 17w, my drive is in the freakin' toilet with no hope of coming back up.

My body has changed much more than I thought it would, and most of those changes aren't even on the outside! Sex is completely different in very non-desirable ways, from the way I feel to the way it feels. I actually hate sex as it is now, and I hate orgasms, too.

I really wish this would go away so I could enjoy sex again, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen until after birth. And who knows if it will ever be the same?!

Baby Kit: 16 weeks!

Let's get off the topic of politics for a moment and focus on something happy! :)

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="The belly at 16 weeks. :)"][/caption]

I hit 16 weeks yesterday, a milestone for sure. Between now and 20 weeks, Kit will do some real growing, and I'll do some major sleeping or eating -- or both! -- as a result. And smack in the middle of that, we find out Kit's sex!

The great thing is, we're going to find out with our families around us. As we haven't seen my parents (aside from Skype) since June at the earliest, and we've only seen Matt's mom a handful of times, we thought it'd be nice to get an elective ultrasound at Oh Baby Ultrasound Studio while down in Florida for Thanksgiving so we could all see Kit (in all his/her glory, haha). Shortly after that, we'll be going to the Center for Maternal and Fetal Medicine here in Maryland to get our anatomy scan, so we'll be able to see Kit twice in one week!

I'm excited for this afternoon, too: I'll be picking up a fetal doppler from someone in the area who's selling theirs. (Shh... don't tell Matt yet, lol.) I'm SO thrilled for the chance to hear Kit whenever we want to! The most terrifying thing about this whole thing is not knowing what's going on in there, and while there's no window to the uterus (which would admittedly be weird, anyway), modern technology sure is great, with its dopplers and ultrasounds and 3D/4D sonograms. It really is.

[caption id="attachment_1486" align="aligncenter" width="315" caption="Kit at about 12.5 weeks. Can't wait to see at 18!"][/caption]

Things are otherwise going well! I've been feeling some movement lately, which has been nothing short of amazing. Turns out, Kit really loves chocolate, which works splendidly as I do, too! ;) The feelings are a combination of flicking your palm with your fingers, a rolling wave, or butterfly wings, depending on the type of movement, I guess. I feel a little seasick when the waves start (currently, that's the worst of my nausea!). Totally weird. And yesterday I felt a kick or punch in each the top of my uterus and, ah... in the lady bits! Can't wait until THOSE get stronger.

I also have pregnancy rhinitis, which... ahem, blows. ;) My nose is runny during the day and stuffy at night, and I constantly sneeze like I have hay fever or something. I sometimes get headaches and sinus pressure, too. It's really not all that fun, though I'm happy to know I'm not alone: An estimated 20-30% of women end up with the condition, which is only cured by childbirth!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Looking an awful lot like a baby. :)"][/caption]

Even considering that, I feel fantastic. What everyone says about the second trimester is true: More energy, starting to show (rather than feeling bloated or fat), feeling movement, and really feeling like all this is real!

Pregnancy: 16w

What I love: That I actually look pregnant, if tiny-pregnant. That I'm growing into quite a preggo, if I do say so myself. ;) That awesome attorney-boss shares trials and joys with his own family, and keeps saying that it's still the greatest thing ever. That Matt loves the baby already, talks to Kit regularly, and keeps saying he's so happy and excited to expanding our little family. <3

What I hate: That I actually look pregnant, if tiny-pregnant. ;) THAT is taking some getting used to.

What I miss: My body, already. And I'm not even halfway through!

What I’m looking forward to the most: Thanksgiving, seeing my family, and finding out the sex!

Worries: I keep worrying when I don't feel Kit move. I have to reassure myself constantly that I'm only 16w and won't feel more constant movement for another few weeks or so. Not knowing what's going on in there is freaking me out a bit.

Symptoms: A bigger belly, car sickness, some hip pain, and dude, PREGNANCY RHINITIS. It's confirmed, I have it. It sucks!

Mood: Good! Nothing out of the ordinary. Still chill. [Same]

Sleep: Very good, if not for the fact that I always feel like I’m getting too little! [Same]

Movement: Yes!! It's not constant, but there are some triggers: Chocolate and my singing. Leading me to believe that this is a girl with no developed eardrums yet. ;)

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! Totally weird, though, it’s definitely more shallow! And the belly is bigger! OMG, is it bigger. [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: On!

Weight gain: I’m up about 5.5lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight, give or take a bit. Right on track, though I admittedly don't like it. :P

Milestones: Still in the second trimester! Also, feeling movement pretty frequently. :)

Best moment of the week: Oh, there are so many! A coworker friend saying I had a cute belly, this hilarious list of parenting-related things from awesome attorney-boss, Matt and his insane cuteness towards my pregnancy and our family. :) It's been a good week!

How your baby's growing:

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

How your life's changing:

The top of your uterus is about halfway between your pubic bone and your navel, and the round ligaments that support it are thickening and stretching as it grows. You're probably feeling a whole lot better as you settle into pregnancy, too. Less nausea, fewer mood swings, and "glowing" skin contribute to an overall sense of well-being.

Soon you'll experience one of the most wonderful moments of pregnancy — feeling your baby move. While some women notice "quickening" as early as 16 weeks, many don't feel their baby move until about 18 weeks or more. (And if this is your first baby, don't be too impatient — you may not be aware of your baby's movements until 20 weeks or so.) The earliest movements may feel like little flutters, gas bubbles, or even like popcorn popping. Over the following weeks they'll grow stronger and you'll be able to feel them much more frequently.

Feel your baby move "I wasn't sure if I could feel my baby moving, so a friend suggested I lie down for a while. After a few minutes, I started feeling a butterfly sensation in my lower abdomen. It was amazing!" — Linda B.

3 Questions About...Gaining weight

Q1.

How much weight should I gain now?

Aim to gain about 12 to 14 pounds this trimester (toward a total of 25 to 35 for your whole pregnancy) if you started your pregnancy at an average weight. Your caregiver may advise that you gain a little more or less if you started your pregnancy over- or underweight or you're carrying twins or more.

Q2.

How can I keep my weight gain on track? During pregnancy, most women need to eat about 300 calories a day more than their usual daily intake. (The total amount of calories you'll need depends on your weight and activity level.)

If you're gaining too much: Some women find that they're gaining weight too quickly. It's not a good idea to go on a low-calorie diet or skip meals during pregnancy, though. Instead, try these suggestions to help slow your weight gain:

• Start your day with a nutritious breakfast that includes adequate protein, complex carbohydrates, fiber, and a small amount of healthy fat.


• Eat vegetables, whole grains, lean meat, and low-fat dairy products, and skip processed foods, packaged snacks, and sugar-loaded desserts.


• Keep healthy, filling snacks around, such as low-fat cheese and yogurt, baby carrots, and fresh fruit such as apples or bananas. You'll be less susceptible to junk-food snack attacks.


• Choose a tasty alternative to a fatty food. For example: Nonfat frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, a bagel instead of a doughnut, or air-popped popcorn instead of potato chips. (Get more ideas.)


• Drink water instead of reaching for a glass of juice.


• With your caregiver's okay, get regular exercise. If you have trouble getting started or keeping to a routine, find an exercise buddy who'll go for a daily walk or swim with you. This will help to keep you motivated. Even a 20-minute daily walk at lunchtime will make a difference.

If you're having a hard time gaining enough:Some women find themselves struggling to budge the scale. Here are a few tips to help you put on the pounds:

• Drink a milk shake every day (add in fresh fruit for vitamin C). You'll get a calorie boost and you'll benefit from the calcium in the ice cream.


• Eat nutrient-dense foods with good fats, such as avocados and nuts.


• Try eating dried fruit. It's not as filling as fresh fruit, so you tend to eat more of it and pack in more healthy calories.


• In addition to your meals, eat frequent snacks.


• Remind yourself that you're supposed to be putting on weight now, for yourself and for your baby's well-being. Then chow down!

Q3.

How will the weight I gain during pregnancy affect my body? At least some of the aches and pains you'll feel as pregnancy progresses are related to your changing body shape and the increasing weight of your womb. Backaches are common, and you may begin to feel more clumsy and prone to falls. Expect your skin to stretch, too, as your belly and breasts expand, which may result in stretch marks.

You may be most worried about whether you'll be able to shed all your "baby fat" after your baby's born. It may take a while, but if you eat right and exercise you'll most likely get rid of the pounds eventually. You'll have an easier time getting back in shape if you're active now.

• It's easy to obsess about your weight during pregnancy, especially if you're having a hard time staying within the 25- to 35-pound gain recommended for most women of normal weight.

This Week's Activity:

Plan a romantic getaway — even if you stay home. Once your baby arrives, it will be very hard for you and your partner to slip away for a weekend alone. Don't miss this chance to kick back together. And don't wait much longer because by your third trimester you may feel too tired and achy to hit the road. If you can't get out of town, plan local activities you can enjoy together — even dinner and a movie counts.

I see your truuuuue colors shiiining through... (A post about racism)

I see your truuuue colors, and that's why I love you I sometimes wish you never had a thought in your head again.

Sorry for butchering your song, Ms. Lauper. But when it comes to true colors of certain Americans shining through this (and the 2008) election season, one only has to look to Twitter to find out how people really feel:

In case you were hopeful that Obama winning a second term was some kind of indication that racism doesn't really exist anymore, check out Twitter. The amount of hate speech, referring to the president as a "[n***er]," a "monkey," calling for violence and for the south to "rise again" was depressing—and eye-opening. Here is incontrovertible proof (as if we needed it) that racism isn't just some imaginary talking point invented by liberals, but an actual problem. What's sadder is that many of these Tweeters seem to be in high school, who don't have the flimsy excuse of being raised in "another time." If you believe the children are our future, then our future is fucked.

WARNING: Jezebel's post refers to several uses of the "N" word and other racist slurs directed towards our President by those in the Twittersphere. It literally made me sick to read one, much less the hundreds that I'm sure actually exist. Read at your own risk... and at the perils of your own sense of sanity.



I honestly thought my own friends and people with whom I communicate online were a bit better, a bit more tolerant. Obviously, some random Joe Schmoe who has a public platform from which he can spit out whatever fecal matter enters his tiny brain could air his thoughts to everyone, but I thought my friends -- and, by association, my friends' friends -- were somehow above all that.

Allow me to introduce K, who not only blew that theory out of the water, she completely obliterated it in the process.

(Ellen, by the way, is a friend of mine and has graciously allowed me to post this thread from her Facebook page. :))



It just goes on from here. Whoops, guess my bullshit meter is running on empty. I blame the Jezebel article. :P

This goes to show that, if anyone were ever to become complacent about select Americans' stances on racism, women's rights, equality, or other social topics, think again. There is constantly work to be done, and it can only improve with what we instill not only in ourselves, but in our children and our children's children.

For what it's worth, I'm completely serious when I say that one should have pride in their heritage. But as far as pride in a race as privileged as white, and the difference between that and Black pride, think of it this way: I'm fortunate to be able to trace my heritage back several generation, and probably further back if I tried.

For those who arrived here as slaves -- mere chattel, free (as opposed to hired) hands, torn from families both while in their native countries and while here in America -- the furthest back they can go is when they arrived here, and no further. There were no records kept about from where they came, who their families were, what their given names were. Just... they were here, and that's all. So they can't have Zimbabwean, Botswanian, Ethiopian, Kenyan, or other specific "prides". Instead, they have what they are: Black pride.

The difference lies in heritage ("Irish pride") versus supremacy ("white pride").

And let's face it. "White pride" is all around us, and tells of way more harm than good. It pervades our everyday lives, has a huge voice in our social and fiscal policies, and shapes how we all (even subconsciously) think about a neighborhood, group of people, and so forth. This "pride" stems specifically from one race's supremacy over another, and can be traced back to Neo-Nazis, KKK members, skinheads, and other white supremacists. There is no "nice" beginning to such pride.

To think that some don't understand the difference -- or who do but blatantly ignore it or try to say that this "pride" has some humanitarian root -- is disgusting. Even worse, when someone states that the problem with the world is that whites are the minority... I mean, if that doesn't make you a blatant racist, I don't know what does.

(Oh, and even better, K's eventual retort to my pointing out her racist and ignorant thoughts? " I know for a fact you wouldn't like to meet me in person." Good to know that your ideologies are based on violence. Sure explains a lot.)

Also, my favorite election-related FB status of the week.

I absolutely have to post this, with identifying information removed. I'll just refer to her as Lizzie, who occasionally comments here and who is, by far, one of the sweetest women I've ever known. She's also pregnant with an amazing little boy, and she had something to say about last night's election:



I totally hear you, Lizzie. And I absolutely did, too. For yours, mine, and everyone else. :)

Wednesday Perk-Up: Election Edition

I am so, so proud of my country, my home state of Florida, and my current homestead of Maryland, among other states, for last night. I knew we could do it, and while it was a nail-biter to the very end, my faith in our citizens has been restored.

Last night, we stood up for equality. We stood up for justice. We stood up for the rich AND for the poor, for men AND for women, for straight people and gay people and transgender people and everyone in between, for those of all races and creeds and affiliations.

We stood up for AMERICA.

It was my birthday yesterday, and it kicked off with a walk to our polling place -- the elementary school where our child will eventually go -- at 6:30 in the morning to wait in line to cast our ballots. We had our "cheat sheets" from our research the week before that listed all of our stances, some warm clothes in case we had to stand in the cold, and the camaraderie of other voters who were actually excited about this election, even while lacking coffee and much-needed sleep.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="299"] With my birthday voting gear on. ;)[/caption]

It ended with me and Matt staying up until about midnight last night with our containers of take-out Chinese food and the company of our neighbor friends, debating the coverage, covering our ears at times, and staring at each other in disbelief when Ohio was called for President Obama. We were stunned... it all happened so quickly! An election that we were sure was going to result in court cases, an electronic version of "hanging chads", and just an all-out mess... decided well before midnight!

We were happily surprised, though we sure didn't expect Ohio to call it! In fact, we were refreshing the stats on CNN every few minutes to check on Florida, who even still remains undecided. We fully expected the results from Miami-Dade county to come in before Cuyahoga county, and what a surprise when they finally called it and projected Obama as the winner!



Last night's election, both nationally and statewide, showed something amazing happening in this country: A shift from a cis-gendered straight white Christian male majority to a majority made up of women,  people of color, immigrants, the youth, non-Christians, and every other group you can dream up. It resulted in the re-election of a black president who stood for each of those groups and, among other victories, a call for equality for gay couples around the nation.

This shift just proves that the breed of homophobic, radical, Bible-beating haters is coming to an end -- perhaps a painful one for them, but a very welcome (and much awaited!) one for us. It does my heart well to see that so many people standing up for others, for recognizing that they deserve every bit of happiness and privilege as anyone else does.

Even if you voted for Mitt Romney, even if you were against many of the social and economic policies that ended up winning out, I am still proud of you. Not only was I happy to witness history regarding our election results, I was also happy to see so many people passionate about their causes, about their futures, about their everyday lives by going out and exercising their rights by VOTING.

I just hope that, in the future, those passions turn from an inward "what's best for me is best for me" outlook to one that believes "what's best for ALL is best for me". Those passions are incredibly strong, incredibly powerful, and would do such great things if applied to meet the needs and wants of others in this country.

So yup, America, I sure am proud. For every vote cast, I personally considered it a "Happy Birthday!" card in my honor. :) And the re-election of President Barack Obama, the passing of the Dream Act, and the recognition of and support for my gay family, friends, and complete strangers in love and marriage...

Well, one's birthday can't get any better than that!

 


AND THE RESULTS ARE IN!

If you'd like to share the stats from your own states, please do so! I'm focusing on the national elections, Florida, and Maryland. :)













 


OTHER NEWS...

This election proved victorious not only presidentially-speaking, but also in regards to same-sex marriage and the legalization of marijuana, among others. Below are some noteworthy articles that highlight some of the country's victories.

• Maryland, Maine, Washington approve same-sex marriage; 2 state legalize pot


• Election results raise questions about Christian right's influence


• DNC chair expects Obama to carry Florida

 


SPEECHES!

Pregnancy: 15w

What I love: Everything about this week, for the most part. It was Halloween, Matt's and my wedding anniversary, and we had a great time last night!

What I hate: Weight gain! It's happening pretty rapidly now, and I don't like it, not one bit.

What I miss: Vegetables! And food that’s good for me! [Same]

What I’m looking forward to the most: My birthday and Election Day, which are the same this year. :)

Worries: That it won’t stick. That’s a big worry right now. [Same]

Symptoms: Constipation, nausea, some acid reflux at night, growing pains (hee!), a bigger belly! [Same] And car sickness. WTF?

Mood: Good! Nothing out of the ordinary. Still chill.

Sleep: Very good, if not for the fact that I always feel like I’m getting too little! [Same]

Movement: I think... I'm getting more and more of those feelings like someone's tapping from the inside and like ocean waves in my belly. They make me feel a little more sick, but I'll take them. :D

The belly (and the button!): Belly button still in! Totally weird, though, it’s definitely more shallow! And the belly is bigger! OMG, is it bigger. [Same]

Wedding rings on or off: On!

Weight gain: I’m up about 5lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight, give or take a bit. I'm constipated, which is NOT helping. Right on track, though, apparently.

Milestones: SECOND TRIMESTER WHUT!! And our second wedding anniversary! :D

Best moment of the week: Yesterday, duh. ;)

How your baby's growing:

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")

How your life's changing:

You've probably gained about 5 pounds by now (a little more or less is fine, too) and are well into the swing of your pregnancy, but you may still be surprised by an unexpected symptom now and then. If your nose is stuffed up, for instance, you can probably chalk it up to the combined effect of hormonal changes and increased blood flow to your mucous membranes. This condition is so common, there's even a name for it: "rhinitis of pregnancy." Some pregnant women also suffer nosebleeds as a result of increased blood volume and blood vessel expansion in the nose.

If you're having amniocentesis, it'll most likely happen between now and 18 weeks. This test can identify hundreds of genetic and chromosomal disorders. If you're getting very anxious while waiting for the results, it may help to know that most women who undergo amniocentesis get good news about their babies — bringing welcome relief from their worries.

Don't be surprised if you and your partner are feeling a little stressed out these days. Many pregnant couples worry about their baby's health and how they'll handle the changes ahead. But with physical discomforts on the wane and energy on the rise, this is also a wonderful trimester for most women.

Take to the waters "Our community pool offers water aerobics. This is a great way to add some variety to your workout. I take my older children with me and let them swim while I exercise!" – Heidi

3 Questions about feeling your baby move

Feeling those first flutters and kicks is one of the most amazing experiences of pregnancy. Here's how much longer you'll have to wait and what to expect when your baby finally gets big and strong enough to let you know she's in there.

Q1.

When will I first feel my baby move? You'll probably feel your baby move sometime between 16 and 22 weeks, even though she started moving at 7 or 8 weeks and you may have already witnessed her acrobatics if you've had an ultrasound. Veteran moms tend to notice those first subtle kicks and jabs — also known as "quickening" — earlier than first-time moms. (A woman who's been pregnant before can more easily distinguish her baby's movements from other belly rumblings, such as gas.) Your build may also have something to do with when you'll be able to tell a left jab from a hunger pang. Thinner women tend to feel movement earlier.

Q2.

What will those first movements feel like? Women have described the sensation as being like popcorn popping, a goldfish swimming around, butterflies fluttering, a tapping sensation, and bubbles. You'll probably chalk up those first gentle movements in your belly to gas or hunger pangs, but once you start feeling them more regularly, you'll recognize the difference. You're more likely to feel these early movements when you're sitting or lying quietly.

Q3.

When should I worry about my baby's movements? Although your baby is moving around plenty already, many of his jerks and jolts aren't yet strong enough for you to feel. Later in the second trimester, his kicks will become stronger and you'll start to feel them regularly. At that point, pay attention to them and let your practitioner know right away if you notice a decrease in your baby's movement. Less movement may signal a problem, and you'll need a nonstress test or biophysical profile to check on your baby's condition. Once you're in your third trimester, some practitioners will recommend that you spend some time each day counting your baby's kicks.

This Week's Activity:

Talk to your baby. It's a great way to start the bonding process. If having an actual conversation seems odd to you, narrate your activities; read a book, magazine, or newspaper; or share your secret wishes for your child. This is great practice for after your baby's born. Talking to babies is one of the best ways to help them develop language skills.