Yesterday, I briefly touched on Matt's and my tentative plans for Thanksgiving from here on out, and I alluded to our pseudo-agreement. Since I promptly forgot after posting, I never did get to it, so I'll explain now. :)
Y'all remember my pissy post, wherein I lamented not seeing my family for a while, right? It all came flooding back after our Thanksgiving trip down to Florida. I was still pretty adamant about going down every Thanksgiving, but as of when we left for Maryland, I hadn't told Matt yet.
So I told him this past weekend. We were driving somewhere (I forgot where), and I broke it to him, saying that I planned on spending every Thanksgiving down with my family. Before I got the chance to explain, he got REALLY pissed off -- why am I suddenly changing plans (we never had any, really, but okay), what about his family, and so forth.
I explained exactly what I heard from my mom. (And this is super-duper on the DL, considering its sensitive nature.)
Back before I started college, in 2002, my dad lost his job. My mom had been a SAHM until that point, but she managed to get a job that same month at the elementary school where my siblings and I all attended and where she had been volunteering for years. My dad hasn't really found steady work since, and my mom's job pays peanuts, with half of her salary going to healthcare (seriously, it's ridiculous).
Considering all this, they're in pretty dire financial straits, so much so that they're upside down on their house, among other things. My mom was talking to me about their finances, and apparently (though she hasn't told my dad yet -- he has major pride issues), she's been looking into downsizing to a trailer or mobile park.
Now THAT'S bad. :(
My sister and her husband are in no better a financial situation, and my brother is in college, so that makes it difficult for either of them to come up, too. And my grandma's almost 90 -- there's no way we can ask her to come up.
Because of this, my family will likely never be able to travel up, especially for the holidays. My mom's summer trips up here, which she's been doing for the past few years, will likely come to an end, too. So realistically, how often Matt and I go down will mean how often we -- and our son -- get to see my family.
Once I explained all this to Matt, he was just shocked that it has gotten that bad. It's especially stark when compared to my in-laws' situation, which is much better and explains why we see Matt's mom much more often than my own. (SFIL, he doesn't come up often strictly because he doesn't like to travel, lol.) Same with his grandparents and other family members.
So far, we've come to an agreement that we'll do Thanksgiving for three years, then a year at our place (and maybe we'll finance my family coming up) and fly down that year for Christmas or something.
It really sucks to have to do this, but I really want my family to know the newest addition to their family, too, and while Matt's family (his mom especially) is going to have several opportunities to do so, my family definitely won't.
We need to hammer out the details -- and let his mom down, lol -- but I think it'll turn out fine.
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