Because I totally feel that way about my sister.
In fact, I kind of want to jump through my computer screen and KILL HER. Blame the mothering instinct? Hormones? That she's actually lost friends before because she'll claim their children as her own?
Come on kit! Hurry up! Waiting for you.is like a eternity!!! I can't wait to hold you, smell you, and steal you away from mommy!!After joking that, if she steals my baby, I'll leave her without fingers...)
Ypu gotta find me.first!!! LolI know her well. She WILL try to take him from me when I'm feeding or changing his diaper or just holding him or will pick him up when he's sleeping... and I know she'll hog him the entire time.
Lol. I just can't wait to visit!!! You know the entire time I'm there he won't leave my arms.unless you need to feed him!! I'll do the diapers and everything else
Not that I don't think everyone should have some time to hold our baby; quite the contrary, really, especially since everyone is so far away. But he's MY son, and no matter what, Matt and I come first when we want to hold him, need to change him, or he's hungry, whatever.These comments honestly scare me a bit. In some ways, she may be worse than my MIL. :| Which is REALLY saying something.
I don't understand why the fuck family members get like this towards the end of the pregnancy. I love my mother, but I wanted to fucking KILL HER because she took to calling EVERY DAY to see if I had gone into labor yet. WTF. Add in all the people (including the in-laws) on FB asking when she was going to arrive and then all the people at work who were like 'you're STILL pregnant??!?', no wonder my blood pressure was so high.
ReplyDeleteI'm angry for you because it's like have some freaking decency and stop bothering you about the birth of your child and assumptions of their level of involvment afterwards.
Don't feel bad about limiting who and how many family members come visit after Kit is born, it's YOUR time to bond with him and you don't need the added stress of pushy people.
<3<3<3
I don't, either!! And she's been like this the entire time, too. I've seen the way she acts around her friends' kids, and no wonder they all create distance after a bit -- her behavior is seriously creepy. I told Matt yesterday that if she tries pulling that with Kit, I will ALSO create distance.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I can't WAIT for my in-laws to come visit in mid-April so I can be asked every fucking second if the baby's going to come while they're there, how I'm feeling, if I have any contractions... UGH. That's another rant in itself, though, and I'm SO sorry you had to deal with that. :( No shit about the blood pressure!!
NOW, by the way, she's calling me and telling me SHE'S pregnant. But of course, she didn't keep any of the tests she took, nor did she bother taking any pictures. This is NOT the first time it's happened, and she's even gone so far as to say she lost a baby at however many weeks I was pregnant. Like, I'd be 20 weeks along, and she'd share with me that she miscarried and apparently needed a D&C because she was 18 weeks along and didn't know it. She was telling me this in response to something else about my own pregnancy, and like everything else, I didn't believe her. It's just... constant bullshit like this all the time, as she's seriously a pathological liar.
UGH. Anyway, thank you!! I'm thinking about wearing Kit at all times so that people can't get a hold of him, is that terrible? ;)
Wow, your sister has some serious issues, huh? Definitely create some distance from her from the very beginning.
ReplyDeleteTry not to let your MIL stress you out too much. I know it's easier said than done, but you don't want Kit making a surprise appearance and giving her any reason to stay longer than necessary.
Yup. And that's just the start. There shall be distance!
ReplyDeleteOh, and absolutely. I'm trying to keep calm and just take one day at a time. Kit's on strict orders to not even start to arrive before 15 April. ;)
Hey! I know you as Foxylady from the TCOYF forums and I peek over here every so often to see how you are doing! I love how real you are when you write and I'm so happy all is well with Kit. :) Just wanted to pipe in and say that boundaries are SO NECESSARY in our culture in general, and it sounds like especially in the case of your sister and MIL. I would say that since you have such a strong connection with your intuition you should listen in and stand strong. You have every right to enforce safe boundaries for you and Kit. You can be firm and loving and if people are offended and want to leave, it is ok to wish them well and let them learn. (This coming from a woman who had to lovingly ask her overbearing mama and family to not attend her wedding if they couldn't be supportive, 2 days before the wedding...the shit hit the fan and then people got a lot more respectful. ;) Anyway, just sayin' that there is solidarity here for you when it comes to this! Be well and sending blessings your way. Carmen
ReplyDeleteCarmen! Hi! :D
ReplyDeleteYes, absolutely. The boundaries are there for good reason, too, and they may relax in the future (I don't see that in the case of my sister considering her issues that stem beyond simple boundary-overstepping, but still). They DO still need to be there, though, at least in the beginning, for my mental well-being and Kit's physical well-being.
Oh WOW, you went through that TWO DAYS before your WEDDING?! That's insane!! I'm glad they turned around, though, and now respect you and your husband! Matt and I actually went through something similar with MY parents (not at the wedding, but when we were dating, having to do with religious differences), and it was that experience and the way they reacted afterward that really makes me respect them as much as they respect me. It's a hard lesson to learn and an even harder one to have to teach, but worth it in the end.
My MIL is coming around, thankfully, and I have a very supportive and boundary-respecting SFIL to help. That, and Matt is coming along to the idea that she simply NEEDS these boundaries! MIL and my sister, I mean.
Blessings right back at'cha!! How're you doing?