Mother Blessing for Kit's Mama

(This is related to a Facebook event. Sorry, I'm doing a direct copy/paste from the event itself. :) I hope y'all are able to join in! <3)

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="480"] Ooh, and just WAIT until I get the chance to upload all the amazing maternity photos from my amazing friend, Brooke! :D[/caption]

I've been given the wonderful idea of having a sort of Mother Blessing before I go into labor with Kit, and I'd love it if you would participate! I'd like a way to keep all of you in my thoughts while going through labor and birth, and what better way than to have a Mother Blessing. :)

A Mother Blessing (or Blessingway) is an old Navajo ceremony that celebrates a woman's rite of passage into motherhood. Unlike a traditional baby shower, a Mother Blessing is about nurturing the mama-to-be and celebrating motherhood. Considering this, I'm fortunate to have so many mother friends already who are so happy to have me join them!! The Mother Blessing focuses on the mom, and a woman who is given lots of love has more love to give in return.

Since a lot of you are long-distance, I don't want to ask for too much! If you're open to sharing, I ask that you share your birth experiences with me here on this page (or by email, if you're more comfortable with that, at stephanie.ak.fox@me.com) so I may read them while in early labor.

If you're into poetry, storytelling, prayer, or other forms of the written word, I'd love if you would share a blessing through one of these. I hope to collect some and, like the birth stories, add them to a book, journal, or scrapbook to bring to labor as well. I can have Matt or my doula read some of them. :)

And finally, I'd love to have you all there with me in some shape or form! If you would like, I'd love it if you could select and send me a bead to string onto a cord and wear during labor. (I'll pick the cord, no worries there.) It's so amazing to know I'm already surrounded by so much love and support, and I would love to have a physical reminder of your presence. I've added my address to this event in case you're able to do this.

If you can do any of these, I would appreciate it forever! Even knowing that you've accepted an invite to this "event" makes my heart grow with love. :)

Thank you all!! I look forward to letting you know when Kit and I make the journey through labor and birth, and I know y'all will be in it, too!

Nature versus nurture...

It is seriously hitting me hard, this idea that I’m so close to the end and, before we know it, there will be a tiny, squirmy, completely dependent little human in our home and family.

I… just… didn’t I get pregnant just yesterday?!

It’s amazing how this whole journey has been. I’ve been ambivalent, over the moon, moody, even depressed, quietly happy, and right now, I’d call myself hormonally giddy. And terrified.

Not just of the birth process, about which I’m actually both giddy and terrified (I never thought I’d be the former). That’s a few-days process at most that reaps great reward at the end, so I’m not terribly worried about that. But motherhood, raising a child, discipline, making sure I do everything “right”? Basically, everything after the fact? Scary stuff right there! I’m afraid that I might screw up this child we’re creating and will mold as he grows older.

Part of it is probably because of the Steubenville rape that happened late last year and was tried just recently. I won’t even comment on the story itself (because really, I don’t need my blood pressure to go through the roof), but the story really hit home when I thought to myself, if my son ever did anything like that…

And it hit me. It’s not the birth or even the baby years I’m worried about. I’m worried that, despite my best efforts, it won’t be enough and my son will end up doing something so abhorrent that I’d wonder where on earth it came from. I’m worried that something I or Matt do down the road might turn him down a terrible path. I’m worried that society may have more of an impact on his moral character and his empathy than either of his parents will.

All those possibilities terrify me, and I’m sure they’ve terrified any other parent-to-be who thought about anything similar at any point. I know there’s only so much you can do, and sometimes it is nature instead of nurture that’ll mold a person. After all, just look at siblings: Despite my parents raising us more or less the same, my sister, brother, and I are three completely different people. Some parts for the better, some parts for worse, but different people nonetheless.

No matter what we do, our son (and any other children) will be a product of both his social and home environments. I just hope that we do the best we can to make that home environment the one by which he’s most influenced, and that he never turns out to be anything close to the Steubenville rapists or any other repulsive people we have in this world.

Pregnancy: 35w - My sister is seriously creeping me out.

Is it bad that I feel like I'm living in a bad Lifetime movie, where someone is conspiring to kidnap my kid and that that someone happens to be a family member?

Because I totally feel that way about my sister.

In fact, I kind of want to jump through my computer screen and KILL HER. Blame the mothering instinct? Hormones? That she's actually lost friends before because she'll claim their children as her own?

Come on kit! Hurry up! Waiting for you.is like a eternity!!! I can't wait to hold you, smell you, and steal you away from mommy!!

After joking that, if she steals my baby, I'll leave her without fingers...)

Ypu gotta find me.first!!! Lol

Lol. I just can't wait to visit!!! You know the entire time I'm there he won't leave my arms.unless you need to feed him!! I'll do the diapers and everything else

I know her well. She WILL try to take him from me when I'm feeding or changing his diaper or just holding him or will pick him up when he's sleeping... and I know she'll hog him the entire time.

Not that I don't think everyone should have some time to hold our baby; quite the contrary, really, especially since everyone is so far away. But he's MY son, and no matter what, Matt and I come first when we want to hold him, need to change him, or he's hungry, whatever.These comments honestly scare me a bit. In some ways, she may be worse than my MIL. :| Which is REALLY saying something.

Pregnancy: 35w

Now on to something happier. LOL

What I love: The movement, including the way he likes to streeeeetch his legs out before kicking them wildly. He does this every morning and at random sometimes, and it's adorable! It makes me realize just how... wide(??) my uterus is now, if his feet are all the way over there. He's also taken to punching me downstairs, which is... interesting and fun all at once, the latter more because he never really was a puncher before. Now he wants to move EVERYTHING.

What I hate: My bigger belly, if only because I’m super self-conscious about it. My weight, but I’m trying to get over that. And the fact that reaching my shoes is getting harder, even if my belly is “tiny”! [Same]

What I miss: My body, lol. And some wine!! [Same]

What I’m looking forward to the most: The end!! I know, I'm "only" 35 weeks, but I'm so ready to get all this over with. (On the flip side, I'm NOT ready for him to come, so it's an interesting catch-22 there.)

Worries: Cesarean delivery. I’m still freaking out a bit about that. [Same]

Symptoms: A bigger belly, pregnancy rhinitis, soooooo tiiiiiiired, RLP. The third-trimester exhaustion is kicking in, I think. Yikes… [Same]

Mood: Pretty good! Pensive, I think, is a good word for it now. Not in a bad way, just a lot of inward thinking and musing.

Sleep: Good when I sleep. I'm up now 2+ times a night, which is fun. LOL

Movement: Lots of it! Mostly rolls and nudges rather than hard kicks, it’s coming down to, but he still moves a LOT. [Same]

The belly (and the button!): Bigger belly, much more shallow belly button. STILL not flat, even if it is much more shallow than before. It’s starting to pucker. LOL [Same] (STILL NOT OUT!)

Wedding rings on or off: On!

Weight gain: I’m up 23lbs(!!) from my pre-pregnancy weight. It's been pretty steadily between 22 and 23, so I just... gave in and went with 23 today. :P

Milestones: A week from term! Ridiculous!!

How your baby's growing:

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

How your life's changing:

Your uterus — which was entirely tucked away inside your pelvis when you conceived — now reaches up under your rib cage. If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and may be dealing with heartburn and other gastrointestinal distress. If you're not grappling with these annoyances, you're one of the lucky few.

From here on out, you'll start seeing your practitioner every week. Sometime between now and 37 weeks, she'll do a vaginal and rectal culture to check for bacteria called Group B streptococci (GBS). (Don't worry — the swab is the size of a regular cotton swab, and it won't hurt at all.) GBS is usually harmless in adults, but if you have it and pass it on to your baby during birth, it can cause serious complications, such as pneumonia, meningitis, or a blood infection. Because 10 to 30 percent of pregnant women have the bacteria and don't know it, it's vital to be screened. (The bacteria come and go on their own — that's why you weren't screened earlier in pregnancy.) If you're a GBS carrier, you'll get IV antibiotics during labor, which will greatly reduce your baby's risk of infection.

This is also a good time to create a birth plan. Using our form will help you focus on specifics — like who'll be present, what pain management techniques you want to try, and where you want your baby to stay after you deliver. It will give you a starting point to discuss your preferences with your medical team. Childbirth is unpredictable, and chances are you won't follow your plan to the letter, but thinking about your choices ahead of time — and sharing your preferences with your caregiver — should take some of the anxiety out of the process.

Prep early for those first weeks "To streamline a chore like filling out birth announcements, address and stamp your envelopes now while you're still in control of your time." — Laura

3 Questions About...Arriving at the hospital

Q1.

How can I prepare for my arrival at the hospital?

Long before you go into labor, you and your partner should map out the most direct route to the hospital or birth center. Find out where to park, keeping in mind that you'll be leaving your car for at least 24 hours. Ask the hospital staff where you should enter if you arrive after-hours. Most hospitals offer tours of the obstetrical floor at designated times. Taking advantage of these tours will give you a chance to do a dry run before the big day.

Q2.

What should I do when I get to the hospital?

If you've preregistered, you should follow the instructions you've been given, which probably include breezing right by the front desk and going directly to the maternity ward. If you haven't preregistered, you can probably still head directly to the maternity ward. There's usually a check-in desk once you get there. The staff there will help you deal with any necessary paperwork.

A nurse may lead you directly to a birthing room and pair you with a labor and delivery nurse. If it's not clear that you're in active labor or need to be admitted for other reasons, she'll most likely bring you to an exam room first. Your caregiver will evaluate you there to see if you're ready to be admitted.

The nurse will ask you for a urine sample and have you change your clothes. Then she'll check your vital signs and ask when your contractions started and how far apart they are, whether your water's broken, and whether you've had any vaginal bleeding. She'll also want to know if your baby's been moving, if you've recently had anything to eat or drink, and how you're coping with the pain.

Your caregiver will check the frequency and duration of your contractions as well as your baby's heart rate. Then she'll perform an abdominal and vaginal exam. If it looks like you're not in labor or are still in early labor— and everything is okay with you and your baby — you'll probably be sent home until your labor is further along. Otherwise, you'll be admitted.

Q3.

What will happen once I'm admitted?

The nurse or your caregiver may ask if you have a birth plan. Even if you don't have a written plan, share your needs and preferences with the staff, including your feelings about using pain medication during labor.

Then you'll have blood drawn (to find out your blood type among other things) and an IV may be started. You'll definitely need an IV to get antibiotics if you test positive for Group B strep, for hydration if you can't keep fluids down, if you want a spinal or an epidural, if you need oxytocin (Pitocin), or if you have any health problems or pregnancy complications.

Your nurse or caregiver should also orient you, showing you where everything is in your room and where your partner can get ice for you. Don't be shy about requesting things you might need, like a rocking chair, a cool washcloth, or another blanket, or asking any lingering questions you might have. And if you're going to have continuous electronic fetal monitoring and are interested in how it works, ask her to explain which lines on the strip show your contractions and which show the heartbeat, and let her know if you'd prefer the volume on the machine to be turned up or down.

Talk to your caregiver about preregistering at the hospital. If you prepare the paperwork now, you won't have to worry about it on the big day.

This Week's Activity:

Prepare food to eat after your baby's born. If you cook, start doubling recipes and freezing half. You and your partner will be too exhausted to cook in the first weeks after you bring your baby home and you'll be thrilled to have healthy meals you can heat up fast. If you don't cook, go around your neighborhood and pick up all the takeout and delivery menus you can find. You'll be grateful for all the options at your fingertips.

Pregnancy: 35w - Oh god oh god oh god.

It is seriously hitting me hard, this idea that I'm so close to the end and, before we know it, there will be a tiny, squirmy, completely dependent little human in our home and family.

I... just... didn't I get pregnant just yesterday?!

It's amazing how this whole journey has been. I've been ambivalent, over the moon, moody, even depressed, quietly happy, and right now, I'd call myself hormonally giddy. And terrified.

Not just of the birth process, about which I'm actually both giddy and terrified (I never thought I'd be the former). That's a few-days process at most that reaps great reward at the end, so I'm not terribly worried about that. But motherhood, raising a child, discipline, making sure I do everything "right"? Basically, everything after the fact? Scary stuff right there! I'm afraid that I might screw up this child we're creating and will mold as he grows older.

Part of it is probably because of the Steubenville rape that happened late last year and was tried just recently. I won't even comment on the story itself (because really, I don't need my blood pressure to go through the roof), but the story really hit home when I thought to myself, if my son ever did anything like that...

And it hit me. It's not the birth or even the baby years I'm worried about. I'm worried that, despite my best efforts, it won't be enough and my son will end up doing something so abhorrent that I'd wonder where on earth it came from. I'm worried that something I or Matt do down the road might turn him down a terrible path. I'm worried that society may have more of an impact on his moral character and his empathy than either of his parents will.

All those possibilities terrify me, and I'm sure they've terrified any other parent-to-be who thought about anything similar at any point. I know there's only so much you can do, and sometimes it is nature instead of nurture that'll mold a person. After all, just look at siblings: Despite my parents raising us more or less the same, my sister, brother, and I are three completely different people. Some parts for the better, some parts for worse, but different people nonetheless.

No matter what we do, our son (and any other children) will be a product of both his social and home environments. I just hope that we do the best we can to make that home environment the one by which he's most influenced, and that he never turns out to be anything close to the Steubenville rapists or any other repulsive people we have in this world.

So... yes, that's what's been on my mind lately. Good times, huh?

Blessed Ostara!! A reflection on (inter)faith and family.

Back when I first started this blog (and, let's face it, when I still needed something to write about, lol), I did these "[Insert Sabbat Here] In a Week" series, where I would share a little something every day for a week leading up to each sabbat. I really should do that again! Especially since I apparently have never done it for Ostara and therefore have nothing to link.

Bah.

Anyway, I obviously didn't plan this year very well, either, and I notice that's kind of a trend when it comes to Pagan sabbats and even Jewish holidays. Matt's really no help, either, as he tends to forget when his own holidays fall. ;) I'm hoping that, when Kit joins us, we'll both be a little better at remembering.

I’ve actually been thinking a lot lately about our currently-small interfaith family and how it will be after Kit is born, especially since that seems to be a big topic of interest once people learn that Matt and I are of different faiths and religious backgrounds. Sometimes people are actually quite surprised to learn that we’re not only not-Christian, but we’re nowhere even close to the same religion!

I know y'all aren't surprised by that, though. :)

Ostara is the perfect time to reflect on this, as Matt and I have, in some ways, found balance in our lives in respecting and celebrating each other’s faiths. The Spring Equinox is the time for finding balance once again after a very dark period, and starting a month or so from now, we get to find that balance again as we try to integrate Kit into our daily and spiritual lives, a balancing act that won’t happen overnight.

We’re fortunate that our moral codes are, for the most part, a result of secular rather than religious reasons*, and we plan on instilling those same values into Kit as he grows up. They’re pretty simple and spread across both our religions and those of others, anyway, so I don’t feel that morality is going to be an issue. However, I do feel that being interfaith family will go beyond mere morality by also teaching him – and us! – about accepting others for who they are and what they believe.

*I could go on and on about how religion isn’t the only path to moral decency, but that may be fodder for another post!

I believe that being an interfaith family is actually going to work to our benefit, as there needs to be an inherent level of respect, communication, and love between each spouse to make the relationship work, and those traits will indubitably leave a mark on their children, whether intended or not. Not that these doesn’t exist between spouses of the same religion, but growing up in a household where both parents were the same faith meant that differences in theology or morality, if any, didn’t have to be discussed as often, if at all. Our practices and moral code were just “how they were”, and I just assumed that that’s how everyone did it until I started exploring another faith for myself.

Kit is probably going to end up learning an awful lot as he grows up with Judaism and Paganism, too, with a bit of Catholicism for good measure. I know that, when I started my Pagan journey over half my life ago, I was surprised to find out that many of the customs I celebrated with my Catholic family were derivatives of a belief system (or several) that existed thousands of years before Christianity ever came to be. It’s with that knowledge that I now feel an even deeper sense of belonging when I celebrate holidays with my family, as I can see how my own customs as a neo-Pagan and those of Pagans in ancient cultures can align almost seamlessly with Catholic or Christian ones.

Judaism and Paganism are a little more difficult to amalgamate in that, unlike Christianity, Judaism did not necessarily adopt many Pagan beliefs or customs into its own practices, but strove instead to create a faith all its own (though it did take Jews a while to become truly monotheistic!). While Christianity is more adding a twist to a combination of Jewish and Pagan rites and practices, Judaism and Paganism instead stand pretty separate, as they have for thousands of years.

Fortunately, seeing it that way – that Mommy and Daddy both have their own religions, and the histories of both of those had separate but very real influences on the majority religion of their country – may actually help Kit see bits of his own interfaith upbringing in the practices and traditions of his friends who follow mainstream Christianity.

In short, Kit will be raised with our two direct religions as focal points, and the others will be in the background, though they'll be of no less importance. In addition to family events and local ones through groups in which we’re involved (Central Maryland Pagans, I’m looking at you!), we’ve decided to also visit a local Unitarian congregation to celebrate with other families, both interfaith and otherwise, and to hopefully all get some more exposure to what else is out there.

It’s definitely going to be an interesting ride, and I’m sure that, for all the times we try to impart some wisdom and knowledge on him, he’s going to end up doing the same for us, possibly in even more poignant ways than we can imagine. :)

Chocolate Stout Cupcakes with Whipped Irish Cream Frosting

As a final “hurrah” before Kit gets here, Matt and I hosted a St. Patrick’s Day Pre-Baby Bash, where we gathered all our friends together and had delicious food, hearty drinks (oh my god, we have a stockpile of beer now!), and fun conversations. We hadn’t seen some of these people in a while, so it was good to catch up before our lives officially ran away from us!

One thing we ended up making was a mini version of my chocolate stout cupcakes, which I introduced to TCC two St. Paddy’s Days ago. Since I finally had the equipment to make my own whipped cream, I decided instead to make a boozy whipped frosting that paired perfectly with the airy cupcakes. I will NEVER go back to store-bought whipped cream again, by the way. Great flavor, not too sweet, and a bit of kick really rounded out the party food.

This recipe makes about 70 mini cupcakes.

Ingredients

Cupcakes

• 1 cup stout (I used regular ol’ Guinness this time)
• 1 cup unsalted butter
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 large eggs
• 2/3 cup sour cream
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt

Frosting

• 1 small container (16 oz.) heavy whipping cream, COLD*
• 1 cup confectioners sugar
• about 3-4 shots (or more…) of Fennelly’s Irish Cream
• green food coloring, if desired
• 1 large metal bowl and 1 large metal whisk, both COLD*

*For these, stick them in the freezer for 10-15 minutes beforehand.

Method

Cupcakes

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line your cupcake pan.
2. Bring your beer and butter to a slight simmer in a heavy saucepan. Whisk in cocoa powder until smooth and set aside to cool slightly.
3. Mix your eggs and sour cream together in a large bowl. In a slightly smaller bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt.
4. Add chocolate-butter-beer mixture to egg mixture in small increments, beating until combined. Not too fast, or you may cook the egg. Add the flour mixture in several additions and blend in slowly. Finish combining ingredients with a rubber spatula. You’ll notice the batter bubbling up a bit. Allow the batter to sit for about 10 minutes.
5. Fill your cupcake liners 2/3 of the way full and bake for 18 minutes, or until a wooden toothpick through the center comes out clean. Cool cupcakes completely on a wire rack.

Frosting

1. Remember, your bowl, whisk, and whipping cream must all be VERY cold before starting. Add the whipping cream to the bowl, and start whisking! It takes about 2 minutes for the cream to start turning into the whipped cream you’re looking for.
2. While whisking, slowly add in the confectioner’s sugar in small increments until all is incorporated. Continue to whisk until the desired consistency is reached — it should be pretty stiff. Add more confectioner’s sugar if it needs more sweetness.
3. Add the Irish cream and whisk to combine. Want more kick? Add more liquor!
4. For green frosting, add 4-5 drops of green food coloring, and continue adding until the desired green is reached. Mine was light green at 4-5 drops.
5. Add icing into a piping bag with a decorating tip, and go to town! A little dollop goes a long way, but I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted more. Or… if you used it sparingly so you could eat the rest out of the bowl… no judgment here at all.

Need help with the whisking part? Check out this video:

I discovered today that I can do something amusing.

I'm 34 weeks as of yesterday, and I've started to feel Kit drop a bit in the past week or so. Thank heavens my desk is right outside a restroom, is all I can say about that.

Since he's dropped a bit, I noticed recently that I can do something that amuses me so much, I thought I'd share it with y'all, too. You're welcome. :D

(A friend just pointed out -- lovingly, I'm sure -- that I have a pregnancy badonk.)

This is my normal belly. He even feels a bit lower, haha. Lookit how big he's getting!

And now... SUCK IT IN LADIES:

It still makes me giggle to see that picture. Matt says it's disturbing. ;)

OH, and I think I scared awesome attorney-boss today by asking, during a conversation about his daughter spitting or pulling her pacifier out of her mouth, if there was such a thing as ball gags for babies with pacifiers on them. Apparently, that raises a few concerns as to my parenting philosophies. LOL

BUT I AM NOT CRAZY:

At least, *I'm* not crazy. The person who made this? May be borderline...

And they make them for adults, too!

...

This post is partially to make up for not having posted anything yet about the Sacred Space Conference.

Also for the lulz. Because it's Friday and my brain is pretty much shot to hell. ;)

Pregnancy: 33w6d

I'm slowly losing track of the weeks. I realized earlier that I completely missed last week's update, but between the norovirus knocking me on my ass and the Sacred Space Conference (which was AWESOME, by the way), I didn't get the chance to update. :)

I'm doing it early this week (by a day?!) as we have a lot to do to prepare for this weekend. DIAPER PARTY!!

What I love: All of his rolling movements, and how I swear Kit is playing a game with me. He'll get to rolling a ton, then I'll look down to catch a glimpse at it, and he'll stop mid-roll! Like, dead stop. It's ridiculous. Then I'll look away and he'll go at it again!! He does this all the time. This time, we went through that rigmarole, then as I kept my head up, I peered my eyes down to my stomach, and I saw a few HUGE rolls. HA! Take that, Kit!! ;) Caught in the act!!

What I hate: My bigger belly, if only because I’m super self-conscious about it. My weight, but I’m trying to get over that. And the fact that reaching my shoes is getting harder, even if my belly is “tiny”! [Same]

What I miss: My body, lol. And some wine!! [Same]

What I’m looking forward to the most: I’m looking forward to our St. Patrick’s Day diaper shindig. [Same] My friend at work here is doing a maternity shoot for me, too, this Saturday! I'm so excited!!

Worries: Cesarean delivery. I’m still freaking out a bit about that. [Same] I'm also getting increasingly freaked out about birth itself, so that's... yanno, not fun.

Symptoms: A bigger belly, pregnancy rhinitis, soooooo tiiiiiiired, RLP. The third-trimester exhaustion is kicking in, I think. Yikes… [Same] It was also pointed out to me that I have the pregnant waddle now. LOL AWESOME

Mood: Up and down, mostly due to outside influences. I feel good for the most part, but PEOPLE, I swear.

Sleep: Good when I sleep. I AM getting up regularly during the night now, once or (usually) twice. So I'll pee before going to bed, twice at night, and once when I wake up. Good times!

Movement: Lots of it! Mostly rolls and nudges rather than hard kicks, it’s coming down to, but he still moves a LOT. [Same]

The belly (and the button!): Bigger belly, much more shallow belly button. STILL not flat, even if it is much more shallow than before. It’s starting to pucker. LOL [Same] (STILL NOT OUT!)

Wedding rings on or off: On!

Weight gain: I’m up 19lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. I lost some weight after the norovirus, and while my weight keeps struggling to get past a 20-lb weight gain again, it's having a hard time staying there.

Milestones: 6 weeks away from my due date and 2 weeks from them not starting labor when it happens! I'm almost at term, which is exciting and scary all at once. :)

How your baby's growing:

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.

How your life's changing:

By this week, fatigue has probably set in again, though maybe not with the same coma-like intensity of your first trimester. Your tiredness is perfectly understandable, given the physical strain you're under and the restless nights of frequent pee breaks and tossing and turning, while trying to get comfortable.

Now's the time to slow down and save up your energy for labor day (and beyond). If you've been sitting or lying down for a long time, don't jump up too quickly. Blood can pool in your feet and legs, causing a temporary drop in your blood pressure when you get up that can make you feel dizzy.

If you notice itchy red bumps or welts on your belly and possibly your thighs and buttocks as well, you may have a condition called pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP for short).

Up to one percent of pregnant women develop PUPPP, which is harmless but can be quite uncomfortable. See your practitioner so she can make sure it's not a more serious problem, provide treatment to make you more comfortable, and refer you to a dermatologist if necessary. Also be sure to call her if you feel intense itchiness all over your body, even if you don't have a rash. It could signal a liver problem.

Slide your way to slumber "In the third trimester, turning over in bed is a nightmare. The solution? Big satin pajamas and even satin sheets — the slipperiness of satin helps tremendously!" — Carrie

This Week's Activity:

Make a labor contingency plan. You may go into labor early or have a complication that requires you to be in the hospital longer than you anticipated. Give at least one friend or neighbor the keys to your house in case you need something and can't get home. Line up people to do the following on a moment's notice:

• Take care of children


• Drive older children to and from school and to any afterschool activities


• Feed the dog, water the plants, get the mail


• Fill in for you at work or any other obligations

Sacred Space Conference 2013

I completely forgot that the Sacred Space Conference started today until a reminder came up on my Outlook calendar. (Thank you, Outlook!! Thank you, foresight!!)

Because it came up so quickly, I rushed to draft my itinerary so I knew where I was going, what I wanted to attend, and what to bring to each. Below is that itinerary, if you're interested. I went for more cerebral presentations than rituals and the like, as those tend to appeal to me more.

I'm actually considering liveblogging from the event through my Twitter, @TheCoexistCafe, if you're interested in following along. Obviously, I won't be able to record everything that goes on as I'm sure there will be some "no cell phone" events (Lonely Coyote and Christian Stone's Shamanic Healing Circle comes to mind), but I'll try my best.

And if you're going to the event yourself, be sure to swing by and say hi!! I'll be the curly-haired, very pregnant chick. I'm sure I won't be too hard to find. ;) I look forward to meeting you if you do attend!!

Pregnancy: 32w6d - Norovirus! Shit's no joke.

I'm not even kidding.

Note: There is a LOT of TMI in this post. Lots of bodily function-type stuff. You've been warned. ;) Oh, and a hospital trip. Because why the hell not.

I came down late Saturday night with... I don't even know. My stomach wasn't upset or anything, but I wasn't pooping, I was peeing. Out my butt. It was AWFUL. I don't remember a lot of pain during it, despite being up every 15-30 minutes over the course of the night to poo pee. There was a LOT of nausea, though, so I sometimes sat on the toilet wondering if I needed to turn around at any point and experiencing sheer disgust at the thought.

Thankfully, I never had to turn around. :P

The pain did eventually come, though, and I spent the rest of the night writhing from that, nausea, and the constant need to get up. By the time Sunday morning came, I was exhausted. I didn't eat anything that entire day -- the pain and nausea when I tried to eat even a 1" square piece of toast sent me spinning, so I spent the rest of the day trying to choke down some water and Gatorade. Matt called the midwife at some point, and they recommended the same, plus Tylenol for a fever if I had one.

I DID end up having a fever, too, if a low-grade one. I think I topped out at 100 degrees, so Matt gave me a couple Tylenol and I napped for a couple hours. I don't think I officially got out of bed (except, to, well... you know...) until about 4:30, and I still fell asleep early that night.

The next day, I took off work as I was still feeling terrible. When awesome attorney-boss heard it was norovirus, he was like, "Stay home and get better." No ifs, ands, or buts (HA, butts). When I told him the next day that I needed one more day, he told me to seriously stay home, as his wife wouldn't let him home if there was a chance of contracting it, lol.

So yeah. The next day was spent doing some laundry (it needed to get done, plus I wanted to kill the germs) and a couple other chores, plus trying to get some food in me. I made some piss-poor decisions when it came to that, so I really shouldn't have been surprised when I started feeling some wicked heartburn-type feelings around 5pm.

What DID shock me, though, was the fact that it lasted well past midnight.

In fact, it got so bad that I was writhing and crying on the bed, downing Tums and Maalox like crazy and finally taking a Zantac, recommended over the phone by my midwife (who sounded soooo empathetic, poor guy!! I love my care providers). That allowed me to sleep for about 30 minutes before I was back up and writhing again.

Finally, I just decided we should go to the emergency room. Matt, bless his heart, got up and dressed and coaxed me out of the house, and we headed straight to the ER. It took about 30 minutes to get there, and every last second of that was torture. We got there a bit past 1am.

While we were checking in to the ER, Matt jokingly said that I wasn't in labor, and they were like, wait... how pregnant are you? I told them 32.5 weeks, and they rushed me instead to L&D. Like, in a wheelchair, with a nurse hustling so fast that Matt almost had to run to keep the pace. "You keepin' up with me, Dad?" The way she kept calling him "dad" warmed my heart. Bad with whatever I had, so sweet and nice to take my mind off the pain. ;)

The intake nurses at L&D were really nice, too. We went back to triage pretty quickly, and while we weren't able to see our midwife*, the same from before on the phone, probably because he was with a laboring mama, we did get a pretty nice nurse. She hooked me up to a couple monitors, took some history, and we waited.

*The midwives at my practice do rotations at the hospital down the road from the birth center. A real godsend when something like this happens!

Stupid, stupid thing... all those pains I was having? Was GAS. Like, serious gas. Every time I passed it, I felt better, so of course I felt super-silly after about a half-hour lying there, farting and feeling better each time. SIGH.

But... we ended up staying there until 3:30 anyway because, despite the fact that my midwife wasn't concerned about my hydration as I was drinking water/Gatorade and was peeing regularly, they still wanted to give me an IV for contractions. We were like, what contractions? I get that you can have some that you can't feel at this stage, but I DID know that I wasn't contracting enough to be worried. But they wanted to anyway.

So sure, whatever, pump me with fluids. I may feel better anyway, she said. The nurse brought in all the supplies she needed, and got down to prepping my vein for an IV. She aimed for my wrist, which I thought was weird, and as she started to put it in (I wasn't looking -- I HATE needles), it started to hurt SO terribly. I'm talking, to the point where I was crying out and saying please stop! They kept telling me to relax, I was too tense, but as much as I tried, I either couldn't or the IV just plain wasn't going in.

Finally, the nurse asked, "Do you want me to take it out?" Yes, take it out, take it out! She did, kind of abruptly; I could tell she was a bit irritated. I started shivering like crazy, and I knew I was actually going into shock from the experience. The nurse said she could maybe try drinking water, and I begged to please try that, I really don't want the IV. So she walked out. Matt draped both our jackets over me as I was shivering so badly.

Another nurse walked in -- I consider her the "bad cop" in this. She said I needed the IV and that they were concerned about the contractions, so they wouldn't in good conscience let me go until I had some fluids and they calmed down. Matt and I told her that the last nurse said I could drink my fluids and that I really wanted to try that, so after trying to convince me over and over to do the IV, she walked out, frustrated, and the other nurse came back in with some ice chips and water.

Lemme tell you, I have NEVER sucked down ice water that fast before. Fuck you and your IV!

While I was drinking the water, Matt and I watched the monitor on the wall, and during that entire time, I felt (and watched) ONE contraction. That gradual rise to the peak and back down again was totally indicative of one. I was maybe down for an hour? Maybe? There were other peaks, like when I tried to sit up or pass gas (and I was doing that a lot at that point, lol), but they were short blips on the screen from engaging my abs, not from contractions.

What drove me crazy was later, when they finally came in to release us, and I told her that some of the spikes were from as I said above. She said, "Mmm, no, those don't come up on the monitors." BITCH, I SAW them come up! Before she came in, I'd turn to Matt after passing gas or moving, and go, "Wait, watch for it," and it'd spike! Don't TELL me that something that measures MUSCLE CONTRACTIONS doesn't measure AB CONTRACTIONS.

Puh-leeze.

That entire experience made me even more thankful that I'm going to be at the birth center, provided all goes according to plan. I just HATE hospitals, hate hate hate them.

... anyway, so that was my experience. I'm still feeling a bit crappy because I'm on a pretty strict BRAT diet (bananas, rice, apples/applesauce, and toast) and I don't really have much of an appetite, plus the whole thing just took it out of me. I lost three pounds in three days. That's ridiculous. So I'm not at all surprised that I'm feeling crappy.

But I'm getting better each day, and despite the snow day, I'm at work and actually getting stuff done. Hopefully, though, I'll never have to go through that again!

Oh, and Kit? He's totally fine, kicking away in there and with an excellent heart rate. Of course, his feet managed to make contact with my stomach EVERY DAY. Thanks, Kit. Thanks a lot. Lucky I still love you to bits. ;)

Pregnancy: 32w1d - Already?!

I just got an email from MIL, copying Matt and his cousin's family, with flight details for her and for NIL. They're coming up from 12-14 April... two weeks before my due date.

Granted, they're going to be there for Henry. And they can come whenever they want. But my hormone-addled brain just went, "Why did they choose those dates?!" It's 6 weeks out, they have plenty of time between now and then, and I'm sure the rates in those six weeks are just as good as what they grabbed for mid-April, maybe even better.

So why THOSE days?

I'm so frustrated right now. I don't even care if my frustration makes any sense, I'm totally feeling it. I've been thinking that Kit is probably going to come early for the longest time (for some reason, I have an inkling he's going to be an Aries, so on or before 20 April), so if he does happen to come and they're either in town or something else... I mean, my possibly irrational mind is saying, "They might just change their homebound flights!"

And I HATE that idea.

It's possible, too. I can totally see them staying in town if I were to go in labor while they're here, and generally being a PITA once he's born by sticking around and sticking their noses into things. Just the thought makes me shudder.

Of all weekends! Six weeks from now! And she pointed out that I'll be close to my due date!! Just... why the FUCK aren't they coming in March?!



ETA: Matt's mad, too. I didn't even prompt this conversation, he just started texting me when he read MIL's email: