Pregnancy: 10w5d - This weekend.

So my MIL came in to town and stayed the weekend. I have to start all this off with, she really is a sweet woman and I'm often fortunate to have her as a MIL. But I'm also fortunate to have her 1000 miles away, as she's very strongly opinionated and not at all tactful. DH would even describe her as unwittingly selfish.

Friday night was kind of uneventful, thankfully. There were some irritating moments, like when she rubbed my belly without asking or without provocation, and the way she referred to Kit as "my baby". Way to kick off the weekend. But it otherwise wasn't all that bad, really. Saturday wasn't bad, either. Mostly the same irritating-but-I'll-let-it-slide stuff.

She did ask about circumcision on Saturday, and when I said we are not going to circumcise, she got this grimace on her face and was like, "Well, why not?!" I gave up explaining pretty quickly, as she just... doesn't care about explanations. And because she asked how he would ejaculate. Um...

THEN came Sunday.

We had our families over for a lunch of pizza and salad (nom!), so it was a full house! DH's aunt and uncle and their two kids, his cousin (who is 18 weeks pregnant) and her husband, and my cousin and his wife and their almost-3-year-old. Plus MIL, obviously. We went out to a bar afterward

Some bullet points from that afternoon:

• She asked cousin how much weight she gained in front of everyone. And not like, "I'm just curious... :whispers: So how much weight...?" No, she asked like, "How much weight have you put on already?" Cousin looked really taken aback, so (with horror all over my face), I lightly said, "Hey, it's never polite to ask a woman her weight, especially a pregnant woman!" She insisted she wasn't asking her weight, just how much she had gained. But still, seriously?

• We were all talking about names at one point. Cousin and her husband both have a name, but they're not revealing. Not only was MIL trying to weasel it out of them all afternoon, but she was constantly suggesting baby names and turning up her nose or going all, "NO, I hate that!" to some suggestions. I almost don't want to choose a name she likes just to spite her. ;)
  
  At the bar later (it was just me, DH, and MIL), she kept going on and on about names, so that conversation never stopped.

• She also got drunk on tequila, shrilly yelling at the screen (so embarrassing), spilled an entire glass of water on herself, was a royal PITA to the barkeep (and we're regulars, so...). And yeah.

• Finally, she kept getting all emotional about me not being able to go to her house. I have allergies and severe asthma, and since albuterol is a Class C medication, I'm staying away from situations where my lungs may be compromised, and that includes being in homes with dogs. I'm avoiding a lot of gatherings with friends for the same reason. :( Anyway, so I haven't really been over in a couple years because they just got a golden lab and I'm SO allergic and asthmatic towards them in general.
  
  Not only did MIL insist that hormones changed her allergies (and maybe they did), but she kept ignoring the asthma... the MAIN REASON why I can't go over there. Glossing over it, ignoring that it's a chronic disease, all sorts of stuff. Insisting that a part of the house with a separate A/C unit would take care of it... and it would, except for the seepage through the door and, shit, what about common areas? Plus, that's just silly!
  
  I think she's afraid that I won't let our kids over, as I won't be able to go over. Maybe that's true, but honestly, IDK yet. I'd feel uncomfortable with my kids going anywhere without me, but I may do it just so they can spend the time.
  
  ... unless they're allergic or asthmatic, too. :P

Anyway. So those were just some highlights. She was very opinionated, insisted that boys are so much better than girls, had these grand plans for when the baby is born (including staying for a whole week when I go back to work... I think she's jealous that I want my mom to and that she's totally willing), and on and on. I'm honestly terrified that she's going to make me the bad person when it comes to pets, too, as I literally can't have any pets in the house.

GRR. I'm stressed already!!

Anyway, so DH and I were talking about it, and it boils down too this: She feels guilty that I can't go over to their house, but (1) she's not going to change the situation and (2) she feels much less guilty when I DO come over, even if that means having asthmatic symptoms for well over a week afterward. It's a very selfish way of thinking, and it's especially frustrating because it's like... I can never make her happy, you know? She feels bad when I don't go over. If I DO go over, I get sick, so she feels bad.

I'd rather take the former, namely for my sake. And maybe that's selfish, but you know what? I sure as shit can't please everyone.

She was home yesterday when I got home, and though she left shortly afterward, I was still a bit upset that she was still there. After about 12 hours, it gets to the "please, get out of my house" stage and I need her to get the fuck out, if only for my own sanity. Even hearing her cry out, all jealous and whatever, "OHHHH, I can't.go.to.your.Sunday.dinnerrrrrs!"* makes me want to rip my hair out.

*I didn't mention this. Cousin and her husband, and DH's aunt and uncle, are all planning these second-Sunday dinners to rotate between our three houses. Since aunt and uncle have a huge dog AND a cat, we won't be going to their house. Ever. And uncle, who is MIL's brother, has the same complex as MIL.

... fun, right?

ARGH. Okay, I'm done. Just... needed to vent. Because damn.