The Passport Saga

Yeah yeah, I know, bad blogger and all that. It hasn't been for bad reason, though. Between the Board of Directors for my company visiting for part of the week, an audit shortly after that, and several other things to juggle, it's just been a madhouse here! I'm thankful for a brief breath of air, but it's short-lived as we prepare for this week: In-laws came into town yesterday, family wedding on Thursday, then we're heading out of the country for our seven-year dating anniversary!

Oh yeah, out of the country. That requires a passport, right? Preferably an up-to-date one? I imagined it would. I already had one from Matt's and my trip to Mexico back in 2007, but I had since changed my name after getting married, so I naively thought that applying for an updated passport would be simple as pie. And don't get me wrong, the application process was simple. It's what happened afterward that leads to this: The Passport Saga.

It all started with the aforementioned application, for which I had to enclose my old passport, my marriage certificate (proof of name change), my Social Security card, and a few other things. It was stamped, sealed, and sent in late April, with an expected turnaround of 4-6 weeks. About three weeks later, I got my supporting documents back... but no new passport.

Okay, fine, maybe it'll take another week. I mean, 4-6 weeks, right? So I patiently waited.

And waited.

And... yanno, waited.

When it got to early June, I started to really sweat bullets. Our trip is from 22-29 June with the wedding the day before that, so when it got to about two weeks out, I started checking the website to see where it was. It said it was to be delivered on or about 23 May, which... no? I mean, I hadn't received it yet.

Cue major freakout. Cue calling the passport agency to get an emergency passport. Cue bigger freakout after learning that the earliest appointment was after we were to leave the country.

Then cue -- by the grace of the gods -- this site, which basically says to get to the passport agency at the buttcrack of dawn if you don't have an appointment and are traveling in the next 14 days. After talking to Matt about it, we decided that was my only option, so we got to bed early that night in preparation for my verrrrry early morning.

4:50am and I was up and getting ready to head to D.C. It figures that the closest passport agency is there, and as I begrudgingly got showered and dressed, I comforted myself with the fact that I'd at least be taking public transportation. Better that than driving into the city.



It was actually a rather peaceful morning: I grabbed a caramel macchiato from the coffeeshop at the train station, pulled out my iPhone, and played some Solitaire while the birds chirped, their song punctuated every once in a while by the chatter of D.C. commuters.

(Has anyone reading this ever actually worked with or seen D.C. commuters? They're so well-dressed and coiffed, save for their feet, which don sneakers for running around the transit system to their workplace. It's actually kind of amusing, though after this kind of morning, I now see why running shoes are necessary!)

The train ride was uneventful, as was the final Metro ride to 1111 19th Street NW. Since I was a few minutes early -- I wanted to get in line around 7am -- I stopped at a local CVS and grabbed headphones, assuming I'd be bored while I waited for the doors to open. (I was right.) Headphones in hand and eventually in ears, I trekked to the agency.



Lemme tell you something. If you ever need to do something like this, do exactly what that site says and get there RIGHT at the buttcrack of dawn. Because by the time you're into dawn's taint, there's already a line formed outside the building of those unfortunate souls who need to travel but who don't have a passport for myriad reasons. So a couple tips:

• Prep everything the night before at the latest. And I mean everything, from every shred of documentation you need all the way down to your payment method (be sure to bring a few!) and what underwear you plan to wear. Put it all in a conspicuous place where you can grab it as you're running out the door.

• Also prep your travel itinerary ahead of time and have it accessible by several different means -- phone, printout, stored away in your brain. If you're using public transportation, use the travel leg where the final destination is at least 15 minutes prior to when you want to be there. And remember, you want to be at the agency no later than an hour before they open (in D.C.'s case, be there before 7am).

• Bring cash. Always bring cash. Not a lot. You never know when you'll need it.

• Have all your paperwork in order. DO NOT SIGN ANY AGENCY FORMS until instructed to do so. If you don't have your forms, they have them available there. If you're traveling imminently (14 days or fewer), bring your travel itinerary: Flights if by air, hotel if by land. (I'm already like, "One if by land, two if by sea...)

• If you're not traveling imminently as defined above, go home (or stay home if you were smart like that, lol) and wait until then. They WILL NOT SERVE YOU unless your travel is imminent.

And I'm sure there's more. But that's good for now.

Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, there were already seven groups of people ahead of me by the time I got to the agency. And this is an hour ahead of time, people! By the time the doors opened and they started passing people through security at 7:30am, there were already several more groups behind me. The more often I looked back, the more thankful I was that I arrived so early.

Processing went smoothly! After security, I got in line and had the chance to tell them what happened: Lost passport, need another one, traveling imminently, OMG please help. I got a number and was actually seen by 8:30am by a very nice woman named Erika.

Fortunately, it appeared to be a simple process. She needed to go through to my old application and see what was up, then print out the new one -- easy-peasy! Come back in an hour, get some breakfast, and we'll have it at least started by then.

While at McDonald's (what? Don't judge), I pulled out my iPad (work email FTW!) and got some work done, including receiving some very sympathetic emails from Awesome Attorney Boss and Awesome Prez Boss about being at the agency. Sadface, hope it doesn't take long, dude that sucks, oh the government, and so forth. Since the Board of Directors was arriving and had some plans that day, I also coordinated with a couple places to make sure everything was in line and set up for the week. All in all, a very productive morning.



An hour later, I was back at the agency and inquiring about the status. Um, we don't have it yet, your application is fine but our passport printer isn't, well, printing. Maybe a couple hours? Go back outside and enjoy the weather!

(To Erika's credit, yes, it was gorgeous out.)

I hid my frustration, knowing full well it wasn't their fault, and went back to McDonald's to steal their internet. I had had my fill of coffee and egg 'n' cheese bagels by then, so I was just hanging out at that point.

... Hamburglaring, apparently.



In total, I spent seven hours in or around the passport agency, and in the end?



So yeah, THAT went well.

I let a week go by before venturing out again, hoping that Erika was right and that my new passport would just be at Will Call (what is this, a DMB concert?). The next Monday (yesterday!), I prepped again for a long morning: Early wake-up, caramel macchiato, a sweater because it was chilly and overcast. And some music, of course -- now Sara Bareilles will forever remind me of passports and train stations. Kind of fitting, really.

It all kicked off pretty uneventfully until I got to the Metro station for the red line to Farragut North. As the train sped by, whooshing my hair in the process, I noticed streaks of water lining the cars, and immediately thought...

Oh shit. I didn't bring my umbrella.



I had five minutes to get to the passport agency "on time" (read: early!), and it was pouring as I left the subway. Absolutely pouring. Determined to be nonplussed, I hiked up my jeans, pulled my hoodie over my head, and started walkin'.

It was during that walk I found another reason why D.C. commuters wear running shoes to work: In Florida, you can get away with flip-flops on slick sidewalks and asphalt -- the walkways are practically made for wet footwear. D.C.'s, on the other hand, are not, and I discovered this by walking across several brick paths only to feel my feet sliding out from under me like an inexperienced two-year-old ice skater. Arms all akimbo, of course, as that helps with balance (or looking like a damn fool, but hey, I'm already wearing flip-flops in the rain in D.C.). At some point, I just kicked my shoes off and held them as I ran, barefoot, to the agency.

Okay, so the scene is set: I'm soaking wet, without shoes, shivering under an overhang. At least there were only four groups of people in front of me this time. :P

I was prepared for a long stay. I knew where the McDonald's was, I had my iPad for more WiFi Hamburglaring, I knew where to sit to have the greatest vantage for hearing numbers called out, I had a backup plan in case Will Call didn't have my passport. Even the agency officers recognized me, going as far as to ask why I was back again and to just let me slide through security.



But, as if the Universe finally stopped laughing at me and decided to cut me a break, I managed to get in and out in an hour... and emerged victorious, at that! I waved happily to the guard as I left, and he returned a smile with a little salute. By 8:30am, I was already headed back home erm, to work, and in soaked clothes, too! I'm surprised no one said I smelled like a waterlogged rat. ;)



I have to admit that, of all the government agencies I've ever frequented (state and federal), the D.C. Passport Agency was by far the greatest to work with. They are patient, attentive, overall nice people. If I ever had to brave the government again, I would hope it'd be with the passport agency.