Happy World Breastfeeding Week! - Relactation

As if we didn't have enough going on right now, huh...

Happy World Breastfeeding Week! As an exclusively formula-feeding mama, you'd think this week would have very little, if anything to do with me. But oh, how wrong you are. ;)

What I've noticed this WBW is a call from many of my breastfeeding friends for us all to come together and celebrate feeding our children in the best ways we know how, whether that's at the breast or with a bottle and everything else in between. While this week is to celebrate a mom's role as her baby's source of nutrition and her right to nurse her child wherever and whenever she needs or wants, I'm hearing another message:

ALL mothers need and deserve to be supported in whatever ways they choose to feed their child!

We are standing together, and we’re asking you to stand up with us. You, at the La Leche League meeting. You, in the lactation consultant’s office, perfecting your newborn’s latch. You, in the Nordstrom’s dressing room, nursing quietly on the couch. You, at your older son’s baseball game, nursing openly in the bleachers. You, who have cried rivers of tears over your feeding choices, and you, who chose without fear.

I support you.

You, in your hospital gown, asking the nurses for formula. You, shaking a bottle with one arm while your baby snuggles close in the other. You, who have researched the healthiest, most tummy-friendly formulas. You, who pump and mix and combo-feed. You, who have cried rivers of tears over your feeding choices, and you, who chose without fear.

I support you.

You, with your partner, as you feed the baby that you are hoping to adopt. You, who had a mastectomy and are locking eyes with new life. You, who chose your mental health, or your physical health, or your freedom, or your lack of freedom, so that you could feed your baby in a way that protected both of you. You, the Daddy who is finger-feeding your infant. You, the Mommy who lovingly pours formula into a G-Tube. You, at the NICU, pumping your breasts by the light of the machines that are keeping your baby alive. You, with the foster child who you are loving back to health. We see you. You are a part of this conversation too.

We support you.

Simon @ Mama by the Bay

I'll admit that I cried, sometimes internally, for the breastfeeding bond lost between myself and my son. I anguished over the formula can, I struggled to feel okay with mixing the bottles. I've fought back tears as my milk continued to flow, willing it to dry up faster.

“The I Support You movement is a respectful, empathetic, compassionate exchange between parents. We all feed our children differently, but we are all feeding with love, and in ways that work for our individual circumstances and family dynamics. I Support You is the first step in helping formula-feeding, breast-feeding, and combo-feeding parents to come together and lift each other up with kindness and understanding. We have chosen to announce this movement during World Breastfeeding Week, to honor the commitment of those who fight for better support for breastfeeding moms; we are inspired by this, but believe that by changing the focus to supporting all parents, we can truly provoke positive change without putting the needs of some mothers above the needs of others. The “I Support You” movement aims:

1) To bridge the gap between formula-feeding and breastfeeding parents by fostering friendships and interactions.

2) To dispel common myths and misperceptions about formula feeding and breastfeeding, by asking parents to share their stories, and really listening to the truth of their experiences.

3) To provide information and support to parents as they make decisions about how to feed their children.

4) To connect parents with local resources, mentors, and friends who are feeding their children in similar ways.

Suzanne Barston and Kim Simon @ Fearless Formula Feeder and @ I Am Not the Babysitter

Even now, while I'm proud that my son is healthy and happy and thriving on his organic soy formula (because if I can choose to feed him with formula, I can at least feed him the best I can!), I feel pangs of guilt and a want to at least provide a little of mama's milk to Tycho.

The past week, as I fed Tycho his last bottle of the evening before carefully laying him in his crib, I struggled to keep the bottle straight in his mouth as his head jerked towards my breast. His hand rested on the bottle, then moved to my shirt, clinging to it as if to reach underneath. As he turned his head closer and closer to me, I felt this incredible urge to breastfeed, to satisfy what I believe was his desire to latch to something other than Dr. Brown, despite the fact that I no longer produce milk.

The best way to counteract hate is by drowning it in a sea of change. The tide is rising, and we can float above the negativity and fear; push down the us-versus-them bullshit and let it sink to the bottom, where it belongs; lure it to its death with a siren song of I support you, sung far and wide.

Suzanne Barston @ Fearless Formula Feeder

It might sound strange, but this WBW, I'm posing a challenge to myself. I had considered doing this for a while, but I've felt nothing but fear before, where now I feel more confident and more supported than ever before. I feel ready to take on what is admittedly a daunting task, especially considering I haven't made any milk for at least 12 weeks.

I'm challenging myself to attempt relactation.

While my ultimate goal is to get Tycho back to the breast exclusively, I'd love to even feed him one precious bottle of what breastmilk I can express before bedtime, to give him anything and everything I can.

This isn't about my distaste for formula. In fact, if I "fail" in this endeavor, I'll know I had tried my hardest and would feel confident that he's still getting my absolute best through formula.

Of course this is ultimately for Tycho, but let's be honest, it's for me, too. I feel like I didn't give breastfeeding a really good try, and for good reason: Between baby blues that were quickly turning into PPD, undersupply, undiagnosed thrush, cracked and bleeding nipples, poor latch, and other issues, it's no wonder I quit! I am in a much better mental place now, and I'm hoping the physical can catch up quickly.

If I manage to do this, even if I "only" reach supplementation, then great! If not, I will have no hesitation keeping Tycho on formula (at least until our second baby, if we ever have a second), and any lingering guilt I have... well, I hope it'll be resolved.

And of course, while I'll try to support myself as much as I can, I know I'll have my friends and family to support me as well. :)

If any of you have a story to share -- be it your breast- or formula-feeding journey, your own experiences with relactation, and any words of advice -- I'd love if you could leave a comment.

A very happy World Breastfeeding Week, no matter how you feed!!