A very happy holiday season, indeed!

It has been quite an eventful week! Matt and I had a good chunk of time off this past weekend (I had a four-day, he had a three-'n'-half-day), which was spent frolicking around Maryland and generally having a great time.

I got to meet another internet friend this past Thursday! Bethany (Beatnik Betty) and I have been LiveJournal friends for ages. Seriously, I don't even remember when we became friends -- it had to have been at least four years ago. She lived in DC before Matt and I moved up, but she ended up moving to Portland a few months before we got up here, so we never had the chance to meet! Recently, she came back to DC to pursue a new job opportunity in Baltimore (which she greatly deserves and where she is thoroughly kicking ass), and we finally met one another!

[caption id="attachment_936" align="aligncenter" width="501"] Jane, Bethany, me, and Ilya... my first time meeting all of them![/caption]

It was a really fun night, and I'm looking forward to hanging with her again. :)

(Ilya is from the internet, too! Looks like I'll have to count up just how many people I've met and see if I managed to nix off #23!)

It's such a bizarre feeling, knowing so much about someone strictly because of the internet and finally getting to greet that person face to face. If you've never done that before, it's akin to having a best (albeit imaginary) friend that you've never hugged before, only to finally get to and know that this person is real. Such a cool experience, especially when that friend is as cool as Bethany.

Friday was spent cleaning the house in preparation for our realtor's wife (who is a mortgage loan officer -- meant to be, am I right?), who came over to get our signatures for a refinance on our home. We only bought the house in February, but with the refi, we managed to cut our interest rate by 0.65%, which was fantastic! While things are financially tight around here for a little bit as a result, it's going to help us out so much in the long run. And we love working with Mike DeHaut and his wife, so that was an added bonus.



Saturday, Christmas Eve, was pretty quiet. We had been lighting the candles all through Chanukah, and after doing so that night, we settled in for a tradition that started with my family and that I force Matt to continue at home: Watching Christmas Vacation by the light of our Yule tree and laughing maniacally to the whole Jelly Club rant! I swear, that movie never gets old. Matt immediately followed it up with The Hebrew Hammer, which I predict is going to be a new tradition in our house, haha.

When, you know, the future kiddies go to bed.

I'm pretty sure we're not gonna let them watch that movie until they're at least sixteen.

[caption id="attachment_938" align="aligncenter" width="320"] Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.[/caption]

And finally, Christmas Day! We planned on having a pretty relaxing day, but it seriously kicked off running, starting with a get-together at a Chinese restaurant in Rockville with a friend of Matt's and his wife. Oh, yes. We got your Jewish Christmas right here! We filled up on more MSG than we probably should have stomached and chatted a bit about their baby boy, who is due anytime next month!

We started feeling exhausted on our drive home, but somehow managed to get the energy to drop off gingerbread cookies to the neighbors we've met since we lived here. We were able to personally wish a happy holiday to three of the four homes we visited, and they all invited us in, even for a short time, to chat a bit and, in the case of two families, meet their relatives.

The last house we visited was a family who I admit is my favorite on the block. They have two adorable little girls, aged six and almost three, and their parents, John and Megan, are just all-around kickass. When we dropped off their cookies, Megan asked us what we were doing for the holidays, and we said something about probably just going back home and having a quiet evening. There was NO HAVING THAT, of course, so she invited us in for drinks and to meet their crazy relatives! As they gave us full glasses of red wine, Megan announced to everyone, "These are our neighbors, Matt and Steph. They're all alone for Christmas!"

And it just kind of went from there, lol.

It was a wonderful time! Sure, there was the fact that John, and pretty much everyone else, was three sheets to the wind, but after meeting his father-in-law (who referred to Barack Obama's daughters as "the little bitches" and complained about wasting government funds even after learning that my husband works for the most poorly-funded faction of the federal government...), I totally understood why. We were poured a second glass of wine by John as his father-in-law told us WWI stories and used at least one racial slur or wisecrack about government money every other line.

I was pretty impressed that he didn't say anything about Matt being Jewish (and I quietly kept my Paganism under wraps), but we learned that he had a Jewish friend who passed away earlier this year, so I guess he didn't have anything to say about Jews then and there.

Oh! Speaking of religion, John asked me at some point (away from his father-in-law, ha) if I was Pagan! I was like, uh...? A few weeks ago, I was wearing a shirt I had bought in Salem with the wheel of the year on it, and he recognized it! Apparently, he was a Pagan while growing up, and though he doesn't celebrate the Sabbats too much anymore, he still regards himself a Pagan, and we had a good ol' time talking about converting as teenagers and the ridiculous things we did back then.

"Ha! Did you cast a circle and everything?"
"TOTALLY. And I did spells pretty regularly until I was about 18!"
"Dude, we were so young and ridiculous back then...!"

[caption id="attachment_939" align="aligncenter" width="325"] Shirt looks a lot like this, actually.[/caption]

All in all, it was a great weekend! We have some plans coming up for the new year -- spending some time with my cousin and his family in Bethesda -- and we're looking forward to 2012 and the many plans we have ahead of us. :)

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and have a very happy New Year coming up!

[caption id="attachment_941" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Oh yeah, and as for Chanukah? We actually made it through all eight nights! Thank you, iPhone, for capturing this moment. Proof that it did, in fact, happen. ;)[/caption]

*****

ETA before this post posts automatically: Oh my god, and today! TODAY! Awesome attorney-boss and I often talk about random stuff, one of which is scuba diving. I don't remember if this came up before or after showing him my 30 Before 30 list, but we had long talks about his scuba diving escapades and his love of sharks. Seriously, sharks! The kind of stuff that would make Matt's skin crawl, lol.

Anyway, for the holidays, awesome attorney-boss kept talking about an inspirational gift. I was thoroughly confused until, after being told where it was, I received this:



OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Seriously, cue the spazz-attack I had! Under wraps, of course, because I'm at work and all, but still! Scuba diving is on my List, and to have this kind of, well... inspiration is just...! Just!! I'm still kind of coming down from the high of checking out these pictures and these beautiful places to someday hopefully visit!

(I don't think there was a single non-exclamation-pointed sentence just then. If that gives you ANY INDICATION of my excitement. :D)

After thanking him for the book, he said, "Now go get certified." You don't have to tell me twice! I've been researching some local dive instruction places ever since. (Though I honestly may wait until a trip to visit family in Florida to do this. Maybe even in the Keys? Yes, please, as I've never been!)

Matt's reaction, by the way, when I told him about the book and my subsequent spazzing? "Hah, cool! Now if only I wasn't scared shitless of a) sharks, and b) deep water." Well... at least I can still dive, right? ;)

Happy Everything from the Fox family!

Wishing you and your families a happy Chanukah,
a merry Christmas,
a blessed Yule,
and whatever else you may celebrate this winter season.

Oh, and a very happy New Year! ;)

The Polar Extremes

Related to this morning's post about the science of the solstice, here's a really cool video that shows the solstice light in Alaska! Can you imagine having a day with less than three hours' worth of sunlight? I sure can't...!!

 

I thought this one was great to show just how dark it remains:

 

And, for really cool contrast, just the opposite:

 

Finally, in the Arctic Circle:

 

Isn't that amazing?!

The Science of the Solstice

[caption id="attachment_921" align="aligncenter" width="253" caption="via Washington Post"][/caption]

These shorter periods of sunlight during the winter are something to get used to for this Florida girl; having lived near the equator my whole life, to be in an area where the tilt in the earth's axis is so stark comparatively has been a real adjustment. I know I'm looking forward to sunlight's return, which makes Yule one of my favorite holidays!

Last night at 12:30am marked the peak of the winter solstice,the longest night of the year. It's all uphill from here, and the sun will continue to climb higher in the sky until the summer solstice six months from now. But what makes these times so significant, scientifically-speaking?

The solstice, as the first day of astronomical winter in the Northern Hemisphere, the sun is shining directly overhead at 23.5 degrees south latitude, making it the furthest it will get from the North pole and the sun take its lowest and shortest path across the northern sky. If you've been observing sunrises and sunsets these past six months, you'll notice that they've each been drifting lower and lower towards the skyline, and if you're really paying attention, the sun rose at 120 degrees and set at 240 degrees, both the southernmost points along the horizon from due north.

In the MD/DC area, where Matt and I live, the sun rose yesterday morning at 7:23am and set at 4:49 yesterday evening while reaching its minimum height of 27.7 degrees above the horizon. Today? It'll be less than a minute better on either end (7:24am and 4:50pm, respectively), but at least it's getting better!

[caption id="attachment_920" align="aligncenter" width="452" caption="via Washington Post"][/caption]

The funny thing, though, is that those were not the earliest sunset or latest sunrise of the year. These were instead between 2 and 13 December (sunset was at 4:46pm) and won't happen until 31 December through 10 January (sunrise will be at 7:27am). Why are these so different from the actual solstice itself?

There are actually two forces that determine this. The first is the change in the sun's declination, or its height above the horizon throughout the year. The second is solar noon, which is when the sun reaches its maximum height in the sky on a given day, slowly oscillates back and forth by several minutes throughout the year, so a sundial wouldn't consistently show noon occurring at the same time every day. These shifts are attributed to the earth's elliptical orbit and axial tilt; these tend to wobble rather than follow a strict circular pattern, and can be easily called the "solar noon effect".

As explained by Washington Post's Justin Grieser:

The reason the earliest sunset occurs before the winter solstice has to do with the later shift in solar noon “outweighing” the effect of the sun’s decreasing height and length of time above the horizon. For example, in D.C. solar noon is at 11:57 a.m. on December 1, but drifts 14 minutes later – to 12:11 p.m. – by December 31. This forward shift means that it takes a few seconds more than 24 hours for the sun to complete a full circle between its maximum noontime height from one day to the next. Meanwhile, as we approach the solstice, the sun’s declination is no longer changing as rapidly, which causes the days to shorten at a slower pace.

In late November, the effect of a later-shifting solar noon begins to counteract the effect that the sun’s lowering declination has on pushing sunset earlier. Eventually, sunset reaches a minimum during the first week of December. While we would expect the earliest sunset to occur closer to the winter solstice, the rapid forward shift in solar noon causes sunset to creep later more than a week before then.

So the reason why the sun keeps rising later after the winter solstice? Like above, solar noon's time still moves later for several more weeks, and only by mid-January does the sun's increasing height over the horizon "accelerate" enough to bring earlier sunrises, even as solar noon continues moving later until early February. Which explains why January morning commutes are still in the darkness while December evening commutes are already growing lighter.

Because of these phenomena, meteorologists and climatologists actually define winter as 1 December through the last day of February, despite "official" winter beginning on the solstice (this year, on 22 December) and lasting until the spring equinox (around 21 March).

[caption id="attachment_919" align="aligncenter" width="452" caption="via Washington Post"][/caption]

I've always wondered why the days grew colder as winter pressed on, even despite the fact that the sun is making its slow and steady return to the Northern Hemisphere. (This year has been rather strange, as the average temperatures this year have been a bit warmer than of record, but still.) The coldest part of the year actually lags about a month behind the solstice, and the same with the hottest in the summer. Simply speaking, assuming the air stays in a particular place, the air in such a place would act kind of like a bank account. If you add heat, it warms up, and since the Earth is always losing heat, that bank account of air is losing it, too. If the amount of heat arriving from the sun is equal to the amount leaving, the temperature stays the same.

Even as the days grow shorter, the amount of heat arriving (because of the period beforehand when the air grows warmer and warmer) is more than the amount leaving until a point in late summer or the fall, depending on your location north of the equator, when it's pretty much in balance. After that point, the "withdrawals" from the heat account grow greater and are greatest in December. Even after the days are growing longer, there is more heat leaving than arriving, and the offset means the air is still growing cooler. This balance doesn't start to shift in the opposite direction until late winter or even spring, again depending on your location.

Some pretty cool stuff! I hope you all enjoyed your longest night last night, and now you know why it is! Solstice blessings today, a very happy Yule, and here's to chillier weather!

Chanukah history and traditions

Still not feeling 100% better today -- some of the symptoms are over and done with, but I can't seem to shake these nauseous and exhausted feelings. It was so bad that I had to miss last night's Yule ritual, which I anticipated but was still rather upset about.

We did go to Matt's family's Chanukah dinner on Saturday, though! It was a wonderful time spent with extended family, and I'm so happy they invited us. The hosts, Matt's cousin and his family, even gifted us with a bakeware set, which was just so sweet of them. :) We hope to have them all over soon!

Since the first night of Chanukah is so soon -- tomorrow night, yikes! -- I thought I'd share a little about the history of this holiday. Chanukah (or Hanukkah or Chanukkah or Channukah or Hanukah or Hannukah or... you get the picture), the "feast of dedication," is celebrated on the 25th of Kislev and recalls the war fought by the Maccabees for religious freedom. It actually starts with a great bit of history, with the reign of Alexander the Great, who conquered Syria, Egypt, and Judea but allowed the people under his control to continue observing their own religions and retain a certain degree of autonomy. Just like American Jews today assimilated into secular society, so did Jews in that time to much of Hellenistic culture.

Alexander's successor, Antiochus Eipihanes IV (165 BCE), then gained control of the region, and he oppressed the Jews severely, placing a Hellenistic priest in the Temple, slaughtering Jews, prohibited Jewish religious practices, and requiring the sacrifice of pigs (a non-kosher animal) at the Temple. A nationalistic group led by Judah Maccabee and his father, Mattathias the Hasmonean, and a religious traditionalist group known as the Chasidm (the forerunners of the Pharisees, not to be confused with today's Chasidic movement) opposed Antiochus and joined forces in a revolt against both the assimilation of Hellenistic Jews and the oppression by the Greek government.

The Maccabees reigned victorious over the Syrian army, and Jewish legend in the Talmud says that, after driving the Syrian Greeks from Jerusalem, the Maccabees cleansed and purified the Temple but only found one small jar of pure olive oil to light the Temple menorah. It was only enough to burn for one night, but it burned for eight nights instead of one, giving the Jews the time to prepare new oil. Because of this miracle, Chanukah is celebrated for eight nights.

While the legend is definitely neat, according to the Book of Maccabees, the first Chanukah was actually celebrated for eight days as a late celebration of Sukkot and Simchat Torah, two very important Jewish holidays that were not celebrated properly in Jerusalem while the Temple was in the hands of the Syrian Greeks. Chanukah is the celebration of religious freedom and of the miracle of the oil, not of the military victory -- though the history surrounding the festival is absolutely important.

The menorah (or, more properly, the chanukia) used for Chanukah differs from the Temple menorah described above, which was instructed by God to the Children of Israel to create and had seven branches to hold candles. Chanukias are nine-branched candelabras, with one holding the candle used to light all the others. Chanukah is celebrated by using one candle, the shamash, to light one candle in the chanukia on the first night and adding one candle each night until all eight (and the shamash) are lit at once.

While it was previously customary to give children gifts of nuts and gelt (token sums of money) for Chanukah, modern Jews have taken to emulating Christian practice by giving their children more significant gifts, sometimes even one for each night of the festival. In fact, because of its proximity to Christmas, not only is Chanukah regarded one of the most popular Jewish holidays (despite it not being a religious festival or even one of the high holidays), but it's become rather assimilated with other practices around this time of year.

Rather ironic, isn't it?

There's also playing the dreidel, a gambling game played with trinkets (M&Ms, chocolate gelt, and so forth) and a four-sided top. The dreidel is marked with four Hebrew letters and their rough Yiddish translations: Nun (nothing), Gimmel (all), Heh (half), and Shin (put). These actually detail the rules of the game: Nun doesn't do anything, Gimmel means you "gimme!" everything in the pile, Heh is to take half the pile, and Shin is to put one in. When one person has everything, the game is restarted until someone's frustrated and starts eating all the candy. ;)

Prayers

Each night before the candles are lit, blessings are said to the family and to praise God. Below are the prayers in Hebrew, transliteration, and English.

Blessing Over the Candles

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam
Blessed are you, Lord, our God, sovereign of the universe

asher kidishanu b'mitz'votav v'tzivanu
Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us

l'had'lik neir shel Chanukah. (Amein)
to light the lights of Chanukah. (Amen)

Blessing for Chanukah

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam
Blessed are you, Lord, our God, sovereign of the universe

she'asah nisim la'avoteinu bayamim haheim baziman hazeh. (Amein)
Who performed miracles for our ancestors in those days at this time. (Amen)

Shehecheyanu (first night only)

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam
Blessed are you, Lord, our God, sovereign of the universe

shehecheyanu v'kiyimanu v'higi'anu laz'man hazeh. (Amein)
who has kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. (Amen)

Holiday Celebrations! And... I'm sick, duh.

It's seriously the worst time of year to be sick, but here I am, nursing a box of tissues while swallowing pill after pill of Comtrex and trying to bolster my immune system with Emergen-C. There are just too many things going on, holiday-wise, to be sick! Since I don't really have a huge update or anything, I thought I'd give y'all a glimpse into our celebrations this winter, and I hope I can make it through all of these!

Chanukah dinner: Usually held by someone in Matt's family. This year, it's his cousin and his family! It's a bit earlier than usual (Chanukah starts sundown on the 20th) as we're going over today, but it's still a nice tradition.

Yule ritual: I'm going to my first one in aaaaages, and I can't wait! It's going to be held by a local Pagan group this year, and I'm really looking forward to going. It's not on Yule itself (that's the 21st, and the ritual is on Sunday), but I'm still excited for the sun's return and what I'm sure is going to be a very moving ritual with tons of fun afterward. Though I'll probably leave when it ends at 7pm, ha.

Chanukah: I always anticipate celebrating at our house. We received a gorgeous menorah from Matt's Nana a few years ago, and we've used it ever since for the candle lighting and blessings. I don't think we've gotten past the fourth or fifth day; Matt usually peters out around that point. ;) But we at least get the first day in, with Matt saying the prayers in Hebrew and trading off lighting the candles.

Yule: We don't really have traditions for this yet; I've been solitary for so long and have kept my practices to myself that it's hard to incorporate anyone else. But I think we may light a candle (aside from the menorah! LOL) and exchange gifts. One of which will, of course, be pajamas. We did that last year, and it was actually a nice thing to do! This is actually my second favorite Sabbat after Samhain, so I'm hoping we can really ramp this one up in years to come.

Festivus: Will we do something for that this year? I honestly don't know. But if I'm feeling well enough, I do plan to wrestle the head of the household... or the guy who thinks he is... muahaha.

Christmas Eve: This one's actually a tradition that I took away from home. Every Christmas Eve, my family would watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. We'd also go to midnight Mass, but Matt and I obviously don't do that anymore. ;) We'd open one present before going to bed (wonder where I got the pajamas-for-Yule tradition? Well, there ya go), then conk out until...

Christmas Day: Well, Matt and I don't do Christmas. Not the "Christ is risen BORN (DUH) let's open presents!" kind of Christmas, but a Jewish Christmas: Chinese food and a movie. Whoop! We started doing this a few years ago, and I have to say, if I'm not at home with our families... this is easily the next best thing, haha.

So that's what we have planned! I'm really looking forward to sharing these individual days with y'all.

And now, more Comtrex...

Happy Christmachanuyulekah!

One of the greatest perks of living in a coexisting home are all the holidays you get to celebrate! I know that I've experienced more Jewish holidays since Matt and I have been together (has it really been 6.5 years...?) than I ever thought I would, and because of my background and current spirituality, I get to see how the old melds with the new. It's been a real whirlwind.

Since we do celebrate everything at our house, we're also prepared for... well, everything! I went through the basement this weekend to find some decorations, and was happy to see we had everything covered: A Yule tree that's been in my family since I was born, a menorah lovingly given to us by Matt's Nana, more penguins than you can shake a stick at, and even a miniature manger scene. We've got the whole gamut!

... which means our children will likely get the whole gamut, too. Between Christmas at my parents', Chanukah at Matt's parents', and a mixture of those plus Yule at home, they're seriously going to think December is the greatest month of the entire year.

Okay, second greatest. After October and Halloween, of course. ;)

When I was a child, I remember getting dressed in my Sunday best and traipsing with my parents to church on Christmas Eve. As my sister, who is 11 months younger than I, and I grew older, the time at which we'd go to Christmas Eve mass grew later until we were eventually attending midnight mass. There were several Christmas Eves where we'd have our heads in Mom's lap, snoring away as visions of waking the next morning to a magical scene of cinnamon buns and a stocking full of little trinkets were made clearer by the smell of frankincense and myrrh whirled around the church.

Things back then... they had a certain sense of fantasy to them, you know? You could lie under a Christmas tree and look up into the array of twinkling lights and dangling ornaments for hours, listening to soft holiday music and fingering a few of the boughs tinged with sticky sap. You could feel the snap in the air (in Florida, that's at a now-laughable 50 degrees or so!) and gleefully pull your sweater, smelling of the walls and of last winter, out of the closet and over your head. You could eat more gingerbread people than you ever decorate, alternating which appendage would go first for each cookie.

These are the memories I have. Not of presents or of Santa... except that one year where our neighbor attempted to fool the neighborhood kids into believing that Santa was just that skinny because he didn't have his usual supply of milk and cookies. That one, I'll remember forever. ;) No, it was the -- and this is so cliche -- Christmas spirit in the air, the holiday cheer.

That is what I want our kids to remember. While they'll be surrounded by the traditions of several different faiths, I hope even more that they'll be surrounded with the same feelings of love, warmth, and family that I felt and still feel every year. I want them to look upon the tree, the menorah, the different symbols and remember not necessarily their meanings -- they'll know that! -- but remember what they represent: A time of year where maybe, just maybe, the world was a better place. Even just for a month.

Merry Christmas, happy Chanukah, and blessed Yule. And happy whatever else you may celebrate. :)

For the rest of us!

Since we're still DINK(Y)s, and despite the plethora of holidays that we should be celebrating for each of our families' respective faiths, December is actually kind of a quiet month for us. We do little things for Chanukah (I make Matt say the prayers over at least two candles at Chanukah -- after that, he kinda piddles out), Yule (exchanging of one gift and maybe a stocking with some crazy stuff), and Christmas (Chinese food and a movie, natch), but we don't plan on doing anything major until we have kids.

Then we well, at least I get to go nuts! ;)

Of all holidays, though, there's one that we have yet to celebrate... and it shocks me because Matt is a gigantic Seinfeld fan. He went berserk when he opened up his Yule gift last year: A box set of all Seinfeld seasons. I questioned the excellence of said gift when he insisted on watching it every day until we finished the season. Guys... that took well over a month.

So... what about Festivus?!




A secular holiday celebrated on 23 December, Festivus is a way to celebrate the holiday season without participating in all the hoopla -- you know, the pressure and the commercialism and all those niceties. It was created by writer Dan O'Keefe, who passed it along to his son and creator of Seinfeld, Daniel O'Keefe. In turn, he shared Festivus with... well, the rest of us (lol) through his show. Excerpt from the intro to the book "The Real Festivus" by O'Keefe, with foreword by Jason Alexander, at the end of this post. You may be disappointed to learn that none of the "celebrations" below, all constructs for the show, were actual Festivus traditions. Or... who knows, when you know the truth? Maybe not.



Celebrations, at least according to character George Costanza, include an unadorned aluminum Festivus pole ("I find tinsel distracting," therefore tinsel is verboten!); holding the airing of grievances where party attendees vent about what or, more appropriate, who is annoying them ("I got a lot of problems with you people; now you're gonna hear about it!"); and feats of strength, preferably by wrestling with the head of the household until (presumably) he is pinned down. ("Someone stop this madness..." "Stop crying and fight your father!") Further, easily explained events are often attributed to being "Festivus miracles."

Frank Costanza: "Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way."
Cosmo Kramer: "What happened to the doll?"
Frank Costanza: "It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!"
Kramer: "That must have been some kind of doll."
Frank Costanza: "She was."

So of all people, why isn't my husband -- arguably one of the biggest Seinfeld fans ever, or at least that I've ever known -- clamoring at the chance to celebrate Festivus? I'm thinking... maybe I'll surprise him with an unadorned aluminum pole this year and the airing of my own grievances. Then a good wrasslin'. After all, it ain't over until the head of the household is pinned.

... and like hell am I gonna be pinned that easily.



Excerpt from The Real Festivus - Introduction by Jason Alexander

For one miserable episode, the Costanza family invited the world to join them for an inane, bizarre anti-holiday called Festivus. It wasn't a major story point. It wasn't a recurring story line. It was one lousy episode. It was brought to our table by a young writer named Dan O'Keefe. The truth was that this odd fellow had spent years celebrating (if that's the appropriate word) this freakish creation of his own father's slightly off-kilter mind. He proposed it as a notion for something the character of Frank Costanza, George's father, might have manufactured. Itwas to be a minor element, a throwaway—nothing.

But, since we were the show about nothing—the damn thing took! Upon airing the episode, Festivus parties popped up everywhere. Festivus ceremonies were proposed. The Ben and Jerry Ice Cream company created a Festivus flavor. Last rumor I heard was that the federal government was considering making it a national holiday.

And then the questions—the endless, mindless questions: How do we celebrate? What is the history? When is the exact date? Is there religious significance? One dumbass inquiry after another.

For years, all I could say when bombarded with this lunacy was, "For God's sake people, it's a TV show! Get a grip. Move on." But the glaring disappointment on their faces was too hard to take. It was like telling a little Christian child that there is no Santa. I had no stomach for it. Maybe because I'm Jewish. Maybe I'm just soft.

But now, like a ray of light direct from Heaven, my prayers have been answered, my personal salvation has arrived. You hold in your hands the definitive tome on Festivus. And it comes from the highest authority—Dan O'Keefe himself. Every question you have about this festivalis answered in these pages. No effort has been spared. Upon completion, you will be able to preserve the rich history and colorful pageantry of this most holy day yourself. For the true Seinfeld fan, this is required reading. For the casual passer by, it is a curious primer on how to create your own ritual for the ages.

Five Christmas songs a Pagan probably shouldn't like... but feels drawn to thanks to the power of a capella.

[caption id="attachment_792" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Buddy Christ approves of Christmas-lovin' Pagans!"][/caption]

In case most of y'all didn't know (though I'm sure I've mentioned it before!), I grew up pretty strict Roman Catholic. As a result, I was bombarded with Christmas songs the day after Thanksgiving and often well beyond Christmas all the way up until... well, let's face it, that's still the case, even as a non-Catholic. This was made even more violent by being a musician -- do you have any idea how many times I've not only heard pretty much every Christmas carol known to man but also played it? In my 14+ years of playing violin, more than any one of us can surely count.

Despite this, I can't help but love it every single year without fail. Of course, my tolerance waxes and wanes about four times as the moon as to how much I can stand in any given week, but when that familiar tune plays over the airwaves (or through the television on my Pandora station), I find myself incessantly humming along. Most often in harmony. 'Cause I'm just, you know, like that.

There are probably some songs that I still sing along to, though, that would make any of my Pagan friends turn up their eyebrows. "That song... you know what it's about, right?" "Oh god, yes! Baby Jesus is born among the cows and the ass as our savior, and there are three kings who go visit him, sometimes accompanied by a little boy who can play drums and who is smiled at by the Lord... oh wait." And suddenly, my own eyebrows turn up.

Why is a Pagan singing songs about Jesus?!

Because they're fucking catchy, that's why. Especially when sung a capella!

And let's face it. Part of it is likely because I enjoy bringing myself back to a time when Christmas was magical. Not magickal, as in spells and witchcraft and all that fun Pagan-y stuff... but magical. Where the world seems to glitter, the air smells of pine needles and cinnamon, and the faintest sound of a holiday carol on your ears in the chilly night is enough to bring you to your happy place.

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Mine? Watching my seven-year-old shadow dance along the long wall in the family room as the setting winter sun played its orange rays through our front door, open to take in the coolest weather Florida would have for the rest of the year.

... sorry, got off on a tangent. Back to the music! So yes, Christmas songs, often Christian-centered ones, can be catchy as fuck. ;) Don't believe me?

Straight No Chaser
O Holy Night

Who can resist the crooning at the beginning? I mean, seriously. The way their voices meld together... like buttah. I can't get enough of Straight No Chaser during the holiday season, anyway, but this one totally has me doing the whole gospel "put your hands in the air!" thing while trying to keep up with their ridiculous harmonies.

Glee Cast
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

You'll have to forgive the quality of this one -- no idea what happened between iTunes and TCC. But goodness... who would have known that a television show could pull together such talented voices that just work when it comes to a capella. That's some tough shit on its own. And I can't help it when Santana starts singing... girl, keep on keepin' on.

The Blenders
Do You Hear What I Hear?

I was recently introduced to The Blenders (via Pandora), and fell in LOVE with them. I mean, in love. If bigamy was legal, I'd be baggin' me one of them. Okay, not really, but their voices are truly to die for! And this song? I really want to hear what he hears and say what he says and... lord (ha!) knows what else. You sing it, Blenders, and I'll listen to it. Over and over again.

Straight No Chaser
What Child Is This?

Yes, another SNC song. But can you blame me? Those percussive notes, I absolutely adore them! And when their voices raise in perfect union... I get goosebumps every single time, I won't lie. They have a great habit of making me sit on the edge of my seat, and I hope this song does that for you, too. It just has to!

Tonic Sol Fa
King of Glory

I had no idea who these people were, but when I heard them singing one of my VERY FAVORITE Christmas carols, I had to know all about them! Not only do I love this song, but the rendition, seriously! What is this awesomeness! I seriously sat for hours waiting for this song to replay on Pandora so I could catch them. Now that I have, I have this song on repeat. Apparently, their moon cycle hasn't passed for the past couple weeks...