Theological Thursday: Pagan Holiday Songs for Yule

One of the best things about the winter holidays is the music! Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a musicmaven (yes, I'm inventing words), but I'm always on the hunt for good music to celebrate the holidays and Sabbats, and Yule is of no exception. There are countless Christmas carols, some of which are appropriate for Pagans, some of which are not, and I love coming across Pagan-oriented solstice tunes to rock out to on my iPod.

Below are some of my favorite albums and song titles for Winter Solstice. If you know any others, feel free to recommend them in the comments!

And Winter Came
by Enya
Twenty years after her landmark Watermark album, Enya's seventh studio disc, And Winter Came continues a phenomenally successful career that has included more than 70 million albums sold worldwide. And Winter Came is an enchanting evocation of the changing landscape of winter as well as the festive cheer of the holidays. One of the most successful female artists of all-time, and second only to U2 as the biggest selling Irish artist in history, Enya brings her beguiling and ethereal music to bear on the darkest and yet most hopeful season with And Winter Came.

Winter Solstice Carols - reclaiming the celebration of the season
by Megha Morganfield
A collection of 15 holiday songs celebrating the return of the light, and hope renewed for peace and community. Inspired by Mary Daly's book "Gyn/Ecology", Megha Morganfield rewrote 12 tradition carols, retaining their melodies, but enlivening them with universal transcendent messages. A collaborative production, the Winter Solstice Carols is a recording with harp, guitar, piano, violin and voice.

To Drive the Cold Winter Away
by Loreena McKennitt
This is not your father's Christmas album. Loreena McKennitt's primary instrument is the harp, but her primary technique is to take a traditional folk song and supersize it with strings, modern rhythms, and lush orchestration. It's a style that works ideally with this material. Her takes on "The Wexford Carol" and "The Stockford Carol" will make you rethink holiday songs. Other highlights include "The Seasons" and "In Praise of Christmas," all songs that are weepy enough to please Grandma but never so sappy they sound fake. Add two cups of hot cider and a roaring fire, and this album will turn Scrooge into a fan of the season.

Midwinter Night's Dream
by Loreena McKennitt
On her first full-length holiday album, Loreena celebrates the season with a CD that blends the five songs from A Winter Garden (1995) with eight new recordings inspired by seasonal favorites. 13 tracks including 'The Holly & The Ivy', 'Good King Wenceslas', 'Seeds Of Love', 'Coventry Carol' and more.

Winter Carols
by Blackmore's Night
Richie Blackmore, Candice Night and their Renaissance rock band put together a lovely collection of Celtic and medieval inspired winter holiday music with this CD. As usual, Candice's heartfelt vocals and Richie's brilliant instrumental work shine particularly bright. Even though I personally celebrate Winter Solstice, their Christmas Eve is one of my favorites; the lyrics are multi-cultureal and it captures the spirit of this season beautifully. Winter, Lord of the Dance, Ding Dong Merrily On High, I Saw Three Ships and Ma-O-Tzur are are also standouts.

Beautiful Darkness - Celebrating the Winter Solstice
by Jessica Radcliffe/Lisa Ekstrom/Martin Simpson
This unusual collection of tunes, songs and spoken words will help you celebrate the Winter Solstice as the joyous, life-affirming spiritual festival it is meant to be. Includes "To Drive the Cold Winter Away," "Solstice Fire," "The Holly & the Ivy," "One Small Candle/Beautiful Darkness," "Holly Bears the Crown" and 12 more songs of the season. This recording was inspired by John & Caitlin Matthews' book, The Winter Solstice

Solstice Live!
by Paul Winter & friends
A live recording of one of The Paul Winter Consort's legendary annual Winter Solstice Whole Earth Celebrations in New York City. A world music festival with 20 guest artists performing ancient & modern Sun-welcoming songs from all over the world including Celtic Galicia, Ireland, Russia, Native America, Africa, India & the Ecuadoran Andes, SOLSTICE LIVE! captures the adventure & drama of this musical journey through the longest night of the year. Perfect for multi-denominational family celebrations.

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And of course, there are these non-Pagan but still awesome Christmas albums that I recommend, just for my Gleeks, a capella aficionados, and Aussies!

The Christmas Album
by Glee
Glee decks the halls and gets you in the holiday spirit with the release of Glee: The Music, The Christmas Album. The Glee cast sprinkle a little Christmas cheer with their dazzling renditions of such holiday classics as “We Need A Little Christmas,” “O Holy Night,” “Jingle Bells” and a very special Dr. Seuss inspired “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” featuring Grammy Award winner k.d. lang. 12 songs to fill your holidays with Glee!

Christmas Cheer
by Straight No Chaser
2009 holiday release from the 10 member vocal group. Sticking to the formula that made them both a novelty and a sensation, Christmas Cheers is a collection of both new and classic holiday songs with smooth harmonies and a comedic twist. With the holiday coming up fast, it's time to bring on the cheer and get ready for another round of Straight No Chaser!

Holiday Spirits
by Straight No Chaser
Originally formed a dozen years ago while students together at Indiana University, the a cappella group has reassembled and reemerged after their video for 'The 12 Days of Christmas' became a phenomenon with almost 8 million views on YouTube. In an era when so much pop music is the product of digital processing and vocal pro-tooling, Straight No Chaser is the real deal- the captivating sound of ten unadulterated human voices coming together to make extraordinary music that is moving people in a fundamental sense... and with a sense of humor.

Aussie Christmas (Vol. 1 & 2)
by Bucko & Champs
[Bucko & Champs]'ve a keen eye for (affectionately!) skewering Aussie culture and folkways on such songs as "Australians, Let Us Barbecue" (set to the tune of the Australian national anthem), "We Wish You a Ripper Christmas," "Aussie Jingle Bells," and the remake of the old Australian Christmas tune "Six White Boomers" (kangaroos pulling Santa's sleigh instead of reindeer). Bottom line--even if you're not terribly familiar with Australians and their ways, you'll find a lot of fun, good humor and Christmas feeling on this collection!

Blessed Yule and Winter Solstice

 Blessed Yule from The Coexist Cafe!

Pretty much anyone who knows our religious paths and who walks into our home around the holidays often feels a bit confused by the existence of a modest tree strung with lights and Dollar Store ball ornaments. Why on earth would this couple, comprised of a Jew and a Pagan, have a Christmas tree in the corner of their living room? And by god, they're playing holiday music, too, and kissing under a sprig of mistletoe! What is going on here?

It comes to many peoples' surprise to learn that what we know as Christmas today actually has roots in Nordic divination, Celtic fertility rites, and Roman Mithraism. After all, the births of so many Pagan gods and heroes, like Oedipus, Theseus, Hercules, Persus, Dionysus, Apollo, and most notably, Mithra, happens on the longest night of the year; their stories also talked of birth, death, and resurrection. Oddly close to the story of Jesus of Nazareth, though much older in origin. No wonder Martin Luther, John Calvin, and the Puritans abhorred and refused to acknowledge it! Christmas is teeming with Paganism!

More than the celebration of the births of various gods, though, is the acknowledgement of the year's cycle. The Winter Solstice nods to the longest night of the year, and welcomes the return of the sun and birthday of the new Sun King, Son of God... whatever. Bonfires and Yule logs are lit and people bask in their warmth, as they will as the sun returns to warm the earth again.

Long before the world had heard of Jesus, Pagans have observed the Winter Solstice by bringing in the Yule log, wishing on it, and lighting it from the remains of the log from the year before. Magic and rituals were abundant, jokes were told and riddles were played with zest, large quantities of liquor and hot meat were consumed, corn dollies were carried from home to home while caroling, fertility rites were practiced as the Goddess gave birth to the new Sun God (standing under the mistletoe could often bring girls more than a kiss!), and divinations were cast for Spring. I imagine most of these sound incredibly familiar.

So does the tree that stands in our living room. More than just a vestibule under which gifts are stored for Yule, the Yule tree came to replace the log that was lit for twelve hours to bring good luck. On its boughs were hung lit candles, and as the years went on, it was adorned with trinkets and gifts from the earth. Today, we light our trees with twinkling (fire-resistant) lights and elaborate, often nostalgic ornaments, making its existence in our house not only festive, but highly appropriate!

It only makes sense that Pagans around the world are attempting to reclaim many of their customs of old revolving around Yule, and that, due to the fact that Christmas traditions are based upon older Pagan ones, they would look very similar to what is already done today. While the interpretation behind the Yule tree, mistletoe, feasting and drink, and caroling may be slightly different, the idea is still the same: This time of year truly is magical, and may Goddess bless us... every one.

Winter Solstice Lunar Eclipse

 

From the NASA Lunar Eclipse Gallery

Those of you who, on the East coast of the US, were crazy enough to wake up with me around 3:00am last night were around to witness something that hasn't happened since 1554: A winter solstice lunar eclipse.

The eclipse began last night, 21 December at 1:33am EST, with totality reached at 2:41am for a total of 72 minutes. While I wasn't awake to watch the entire thing, I did manage to get up at 2:45am to see the beginnings of this totality. By the time it reached its peak at 3:17am, I was already back in bed (what can I say, it was freezing out, and I still had work this morning!), but according to NASA:

If you're planning to dash out for only one quick look -­ it is December, after all -­ choose this moment: 03:17 am EST (17 minutes past midnight PST). That's when the Moon will be in deepest shadow, displaying the most fantastic shades of coppery red. 

If you were fortunate enough to catch it at its peak, and even luckier to snap a picture, be sure to leave a comment here with a link to your photo! I took a few last night, but I admit they're not the best quality. Still, I'll post them later tonight for you to check out! Also check out this NASA site, which displays how the lunar eclipse worked and where it was best visible.

NASA further explains why the moon was cast with an eerie red glow last night:

Why red?

A quick trip to the Moon provides the answer: Imagine yourself standing on a dusty lunar plain looking up at the sky. Overhead hangs Earth, nightside down, completely hiding the sun behind it. The eclipse is underway. You might expect Earth seen in this way to be utterly dark, but it's not. The rim of the planet is on fire! As you scan your eye around Earth's circumference, you're seeing every sunrise and every sunset in the world, all of them, all at once. This incredible light beams into the heart of Earth's shadow, filling it with a coppery glow and transforming the Moon into a great red orb.

Back on Earth, the shadowed Moon paints newly fallen snow with unfamiliar colors--not much luster, but lots of beauty.

Do you see this as a particularly magickal time for you, when the moon is full yet enters all three stages of death and rebirth? If so, it's not without good reason. When the eclipse took place, we saw the moon slowly become covered in darkness. With the full moon happening at the same time, we will see the three phases -- Maiden, Mother, and Crone -- highly amplified as well. Add in the power of rebirth and renewal of the winter solstice, and you had a great opportunity to work with magic to draw strong change into your life.

Here are some themes to use for spells and magic you may have used last night:

• banishing seriously bad habits that you are truly ready to release
• getting the final boost to make a major life change
• revealing the shadow in a situation
• connecting with your own shadow and understanding deeper aspects of yourself
• drawing on triple strength and power for change

A huge thank you to Mother Nature, who surely blessed us with a beautiful show before bringing back the sun! And for everyone else, happy winter solstice!

ETA: Thank you to my friend Sally for posting a time-elapsed video of yesterday's feat of nature. Enjoy!

Later today: Theological Thursday (a little early): Yuletide!

It's beginning to look a lot like... Yulemas? Chanukah? Something...

I apologize for my absence as of late -- I had great blog posts planned for Meatless Monday and today's Theological Thursday, but I have them scheduled for next week now. Work has just been insane lately, meaning I'm pulling long hours at the firm and driving home through even worse traffic than usual (if there is such a thing in Baltimore). When I get home, no offense, but the last thing I want to do is blog.

Instead, I craft! What have I been working on? These beautiful quilled snowflakes from Reese Dixon and Custom Quilling. They're surprisingly a lot easier than they look; it only takes a couple minutes to become proficient in quilling, and all the shapes are based off the ability to roll the paper. The hardest thing to overcome? Finding a damn quiller! Hint: Joann Fabrics has them. And call ahead, or the money saved making these beautiful ornaments will be spent on gas, which is just astronomical these days.

Anyway, back to the crafting. Below are pictures of the snowflakes I've made, as well as our current decor for the holidays we celebrate in December: Chanukah (1-8 December this year), Yule (21 December), and secular Christmas (25 December).

Our Yule tree, which is pretty threadbare.

That's okay, we love it anyway. :)

Our poor menorah after eight nights of Chanukah. :(

(YES, I REALIZE THIS IS A POTENTIALLY DIRTY PICTURE. See also: this macro.)

We miiiiight have lit the candles a bit too close to the cabinets.

Shh... don't tell our landlord!

Happy Chanukah, blessed Yule, and merry Christmas to everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season! And if you quill your own snowflakes, be sure to let me know; I'd love to see what you come up with!

Theological Thursday: Thoughts on The Circle Within (Dianne Sylvan)

I've surprised myself recently.

When Matt, my mom, and I were at Borders this past weekend (the one near my parents' house is going out of business, so their books were 30-40% off -- it was like Christmas came early!), I picked up a copy of Dianne Sylvan's The Circle Within. I already owned and have read her book Body Sacred (several times, I might add), and I really wanted to see what this was all about.

First, I should share a little something about my current spirituality, especially since some of you here are new or newer. I was raised in the Catholic faith, and was baptized, had my first Communion, and was Confirmed in the faith. At 13, I learned of Wicca through a former friend when she lent me Silver RavenWolf's To Ride a Silver Broomstick (I know, I know... $RW... but we all start somewhere, right?), and something just clicked. I had been unhappy and faltering in my Catholicism for years before that, going as far as to ask my mom why God couldn't be a woman. It didn't make sense to me then, but poring through that book, it felt as though I had come home.

I've come a long way since then, at least I'd like to think. I was a pretty active, if closeted, Wiccan from 13 through college, trying to get my footing in an uncertain world with little to no guidance. I dabbled in different faiths at that time as well (especially in college) by trying out a United Methodist church, attending Shabbat services at the local Hillel (where I also worked for a semester), and even trying hard to be a good Catholic again. Eventually, thanks to FSU's Pagan Student Association and, most notably, because of Eva (l0vemaiden), I came back to Wicca.

Just... not entirely Wicca.

See, I had a bit of an issue with the dogma. Granted, it's a relatively new religion, having started only in the mid-1900s, but there were still teachings contained that I disagreed with, from initiations to the dualistic nature of Deity. So instead of calling myself Wiccan, I was an eclectic Pagan and kitchen witch.

Most of this is true today. Of course, most of my leanings are of a Wiccan nature, but I attributed that solely to whence I came. After all, when you learn about Paganism through books written by Wiccans, that's how it's going to turn out. I picked up some other stuff on my own and used resources available to me through nonwiccanwitch's community bookshelf to create the spirituality I practice today, which is a great mish-mash of kitchen witchery, Celtic lore, non-magickal witchcraft, general Paganism and panentheism, and of course, Wicca.

Which is why, as I read through Sylvan's book, I'm more than intrigued by the way her book is speaking to me. It's a book about Wiccan spirituality, a book that finally goes beyond the 101 section and arrives firmly in deepening one's spirituality with Deity. I've only made it through the first two chapters or so, but the things that she's saying so far has definitely shaken me from my original preconceived notions of Wiccan spirituality.

Don't get me wrong; many of my preconceptions weren't unfounded. I can't tell you how many things I've read where Deity was seen strictly as male and female, and they were represented by the sun and moon, respectively. Or the idea that the main way to get in touch with Deity is through spellwork or some sort of elaborate ritual, complete with calling the quarters and invoking God and Goddess. I could go on and on, but point is, there are so many Wicca-101 books that focus more on that stuff than on the spirituality behind it.

After all, why were we called to the religion (and it IS a religion) in the first place? Was it just the allure of love and money spells, or was it the way we felt when we bathed in the moonlight? Was it the fact we could make and own our own wand, athame, cauldron, and long flowy cape, or that we can toss all these aside for the woods and the streams and the wildlife, and feel more spiritually alive without all those trappings? Was it that we were more interested in the glitz and the glamor, or did we really feel something when we first invoked the name of Deity and welcomes hir into our lives?

Many books seem to overlook these important elements to Wiccan spirituality, and I admit that I had a bit of a sour taste in my mouth as a result. I was looking for the latter in every single scenario than I was in the former. Not that spellwork, tools, and a bit of mystery are a bad thing; in fact, I love those, too. But I didn't convert just for that. I converted because I felt more like myself when I sneaked out my bedroom window to admire the moon and feel the cool breeze around my face. SO much more like myself.

The spirituality I've been practicing hasn't been a way to reach Heaven or another afterlife of some sort, but to experience every day as sacred and divine. It's been hard to find a book on Wicca (especially those that are geared more towards beginners) that really put that into perspective for me, but I finally came across something that Sylvan wrote about Deity that really spoke to me:

     Someone once asked me, "What's the point of this Wicca thing? I mean, if you're not trying to get into Heaven or find Nirvana, what are you trying to do?"

     That is a tough one, and a question I don't think many of us have given a lot of thought to. It is difficult to step back and look at the bigger picture. I gave the only answer I knew, then or now. The point of Wicca, the real mystery behind it all, is to remember the Divinity within ourselves and all things; to manifest our God and Goddess all the time, every day, every moment; to love as They love, to give as They give; to serve Them in perfect trust, and thus bring Their grace more fully into the world; to understand that we are the embodiment of the Divine love and nurture, and to express that love in the world; to walk as God and Goddess.

I really have nothing more to add to this. I've tried a few times, but each attempt was deleted in favor of finally saying, "Yes, this entirely."

So... I don't know. This book is making me question what I call myself. I've had myself pinned as an "eclectic panentheistic Pagan" and "Wiccan-in-denial" for years, but maybe it's time to reevaluate that. Not that I'm entirely into labels, but if it speaks to me and feels to be my personal truth, then why not. :)

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     But who is the Goddesss? Or what? And what of the God? Just whom are we calling on when we're in Circle, wreathed in incense smoke, our hearts filled with a longing that we can't name? What do Wiccans believe in?
     Nothing.
     Bet that one caught you off guard.

[...]
     In the usual Wiccan worldview, Deity exists in everything, around everything, and as everything. Nothing is outside of or away from the Divine; everything is sacred. Deity can't be pigeonholed into inside or outside the universe; Deity is the universe. As such, Deity is both inside and outside; not wholly immanent, not wholly transcendent, yet more than both -- manifest.
     This is what I speak of when I say that Wiccans don't believe in anything. Nobody ever had to believe in the world -- it simply is. We don't believe in our gods, we know them. We are them. Belief isn't necessary when you have direct knowledge.

[...]
     Looking at Deity in this way, it's impossible to think of any other religion as "wrong." They're just different ways of arriving at the same conclusion.

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One last thing: I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine on LiveJournal about Sylvan's particular "brand" of Wicca, for lack of a better word. She advised me not to take her meaning to be the be-all, end-all of the Wiccan religion, something with which I completely agree! She also mentioned that there are so many people out there writing about Wicca that, suddenly, anything that lands in print is classified as part of the religion, when it began as a "secret society," much like the Masons with Initiations and Degrees.

While I do agree to some extent, I have to point out a few things. That's one of the downsides to a religion with no core dogma -- anyone can say anything, and suddenly, it's Wicca! However, I don't necessarily think it's a secret society. It may have started out in the way of the Masons, but I believe there's a difference between the Traditionalists who think that some aspects of the religion should be kept secret to preserve its mysteries and who do worship a specific Lord and Lady, and the more recent trend that seeks acceptance and, thereby, is more open about its practices and beliefs (even if those beliefs are vastly different amongst its adherents).

Kind of like Christianity. There are people all over the world who call themselves Christian, but there are so many different sects, ways to practice, people to worship or adore, and so forth that it's just... overwhelming sometimes! However, being of one particular view doesn't mean that all other points are invalid; they're just different ways of arriving at the same conclusion.

I've read about so many different types of Wicca, from the uber-Traditional to the Gardnerian to the Dianic to the Celtic... and everything in between. I'm not sure what type Sylvan practices (as so far, she hasn't alluded to following a specific path), but of all explanations for Wicca out there, hers is the one to which I most relate. Not to say that hers is the only one, as I think I made obvious by the types listed above.

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So, what do you think? What is your particular "brand" of Wicca, witchcraft, Paganism otherwise, or your own particular faith, and how does it speak to you?

Chanukah 2010

Wishing you and yours a happy, healthy Chanukah. May the lights of Judah's revolution shine in your hearts and through the world forever.

Honeymoon stories.

There are a couple stories from our honeymoon that I've been wanting to share for a while. They're hilarious and only slightly irritating now, and they were pretty annoying then, but they didn't make anything awful at all. In fact, they're fun memories now!

The first and probably more prominent in my mind is when Matt did his back in. It was the first or second morning we were there, and he woke me up around 5am saying he was going to the gym. (Crazy nut, but whatever, lol.) About an hour later, he came back to the room, complaining of pain in his back. I was awake by then, and I chastised him for working out so early and probably with so few of his faculties, as he told me what he did: Tried to bring down a barbell with about 50lbs worth of weight still on it, from shoulder height and, I'm sure, putting his back into it.

Then I stopped chastising when, after breakfast, he hadn't improved... and when he took off his shirt, his hips were literally inches off the center of his spine. A la:

It really was that bad; we were both pretty terrified.

He was in so much pain that he decided to email his chiropractor to see if he could suggest anything, then he asked me to look up anything that could straighten him back out. Not at all to my surprise, I found quite a few yoga poses that would really help (and that I've done before, so I knew the benefits), to which he was actually receptive. Like I said, he was in a lot of pain; he typically would scoff at that, but he was willing to do anything.

Any poses from Table were pretty much... well, off the table, as he was in too much pain to have his back unsupported like that. Not that your back should EVER be unsupported -- your abs help you stay up and your back stay straight -- but he didn't want to do it. He also didn't want to sit, so that ruled out a few other poses. So my only option was something from lying down, which weren't on any sites that I read, so I had to use my own brain. Oy vey.

Fortunately, it didn't take long to think of a spinal twist you can do while lying down, so I got him ready for that. Beforehand, I showed him how to do it -- he's a visual learner and doesn't take verbal direction well (at least, not mine, lol) -- then had him do it. The floor was tile, so we had him on the bed, which was fortunately hard. He went to the right first and stayed there for a while, just letting the muscles relax and go back to where they were. I'd say he was there for about 5 minutes before he was ready to go to the other side. Since the kink was on the right side, I had him stay to the left for twice as long, as the stretch works the opposite side on which the knees are placed, and we needed his right side more relaxed, if that makes sense.

Anyway, so he was there for about 10 minutes, then went to a few minutes on each side to just loosen up. In total, between that and rubbing out his muscles while in the position, we spent about an hour getting him straight again. And wouldn't'cha know it, he stood up after all that... and he was easily inches better. He has scoliosis in the first place, which the chiropractor (who is also a yoga instructor, hee!) is trying to work on, so he's typically about an inch off... and he was back to that "normal" after the stretches.

The best part? He checked his email a while later, and the chiropractor (who knows that I practice yoga) said something about a few poses that are good for loosening the C3 and C4 vertebrae... and they were ones that I wanted to do if he was good enough for Table, then said, "Stephanie can help you out with them." So yay! Take that, Matt; yoga is good for you, and here's a doctor saying so! He emailed back and told him what we did in lieu of the poses he mentioned (Cat and Cow were two that he brought up, as well as some seated twists), and he was pretty complimentary!

Oh, and this same chiro wants to get Matt in regular yoga classes after he's straightened him enough to do so, as he really needs his back muscles to be stronger around his spine. So nyah-nyah again, Matt! LOL

The second involves allergies on both Matt's and my sides.
Matt's not officially allergic to shellfish, though he's definitely predisposed, as both his Nana and uncle are deathly allergic to the stuff. And y'all know about my tree nut allergies.

Jamaica is wonderful for one thing but kinda "eh" for another: Their vegetarian selections are absolutely delicious and plentiful, but almost all their desserts are made with nuts. Needless to say, I had very few desserts that week. Matt was able to eat most everything, including some snook, which is illegal in the US, and the dessert, which I was fiercely jealous about, NGL!

On one occasion, they had a seafood fest of sorts, and that included lobster. Of course, I don't eat seafood anymore (though I was a bad vegetarian and DID try some snook... which is REALLY good, by the way), but Matt helped himself to just about everything there! ... including two lobster tails. Later that evening, he mentioned feeling itchy and nauseous, both of which are symptoms when I have food allergies... so I practically had to force-feed him some Allertec -- store-brand Zyrtec, which isn't an antihistamine, but IS an allergy medication. After a while, he started to feel better, but we took it easy the rest of the evening.

Long story short, he won't be touching lobster tail anymore, and we're going to be hard pressed to have him eat any shellfish from here on out. It's just too risky, especially considering Matt's family history of anaphylaxis.

Speaking of anaphylaxis, here's my story. I mentioned before that I was avoiding the desserts like crazy, only having something after Matt, my taste-tester, says that it's okay, which was rarely. Anyway, I was doing a great job with that, and I was feeling great before heading to the spa. Oh yeah, did I mention we had couples' massages, as we were newlyweds? Yes, we did. And yes, they were AMAZING. So we went through our massages and left feeling wonderful.

Matt really wanted to go to the jacuzzi afterward, so I agreed, and we went straight over. While we were there, we met up with a few couples, which was pretty cool, and chatted it up. We were in the middle of discussing politics, healthcare, social issues, and how fucked up Florida is with some Canadians (LOL) when I started to feel itchy. Not on my skin, but in my throat, on my tongue, and all over my face. I also started to get stomach pains, and I was getting nauseous. It was gradual at first, but grew stronger as we sat in the hot water.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, and I told Matt I was going upstairs, then told the Canadian couple that it was a pleasure to meet them. Matt said he'd be up soon, and I took my stuff and went to our room. About 20 minutes later, Matt came back up, and I had already taken a hot shower and was trying to drink some water, to no avail. My throat was closing up, there was mucus building in my throat, and eventually, I realized... I'm having a full-blown allergy attack.

In Jamaica.

With no antihistamines.

And no Epi-Pens.

I was trying not to panic, but when Matt came in, I could hardly talk. He mentioned the gift shop having some Benadryl, and I asked him to run down and get some. At this point, my body was literally trembling from the reaction, and I spilled some water on myself trying to get it to my lips. Matt was back in 10 minutes with the Benadryl, which I gratefully took, and I fell asleep to Spongebob about 20 minutes later while the drugs kicked in.

I woke up a couple hours later -- about 7pm -- feeling better. Not great, but better. Matt and I had dinner reservations at 7:30pm, so I got up and changed, fortunate to see that my throat was opened and the mucus had thinned. I was still trembling a little, and my throat was really itchy, but I felt a lot better. We went to dinner, where I managed to eat about half of what was put in front of me, and we fell asleep really early that night -- probably 9pm or so.

The next day, we were thinking about what could have caused that, as I had been avoiding nuts that entire week. Then it hit us...

"Oh my god, Matt, I didn't even think to ask what kind of oil that was!"

For all we know, it could have been almond oil! Considering my symptoms were gone by then (thank GOD), we didn't fret or ask the spa, but it's a good lesson for the future: Always check what kind of oil they're using. We also figured the reaction was so great because it wasn't something I had ingested, but rather, it was absorbed right into my skin and was accelerated by the jacuzzi. It was terrifying, but Matt was so good to me, and it ended up only taking a few hours out of the day.

So... there are our stories. Dude, we're pretty effed up sometimes...!