What I've learned...

This past month and a half has been incredibly challenging, with its own set of rewards and (more often than not) insanity. While I'm sure there will one day come a time when I actually miss this -- and seriously, catch me in about 20 years when I'm not guffawing over the idea -- I'm not at all ashamed to admit that, at least for now, I'm trying hard just to get through each day. Some of the more noteworthy things I've learned, and things I'd happily share with other soon-to-be first-time moms:

Childbirth may have gone perfectly, but everything since that has not. Be flexible. Between all the changes we made against my own ideas of moral superiority and the number of days I have showered since Tycho has been born (hint: I'm pretty sure I can count them on my two hands), I can safely say that I'm learning not to let these experiences define who I am, as a mother or a wife or a person. Each has come with its own trials and tribulations, and each decision was made with both my son and myself in mind. And my husband, too. When it applied. ;)

Don't define yourself by what you do. Crunchy, natural, formula-feeder, babywearer, vegetarian, cosleeper, minimalist, whatever. Though these all technically apply to me and how Matt and I parent, they don't define who we are as parents. We're not reading (too many) parenting books or sites or anything else. We're just... doing shit, changing shit, and hoping shit works. We're also trying not to be dicks in the process, either to our son or to each other. Or to ourselves.

Maintain autonomy... but know that it's not easy. While I've always thought it endearing when a parent's life revolves around his/her child(ren), going through it myself has made me realize that, at least for me, I need to maintain some separation between myself and my son. But when Matt and I were on a date night while my in-laws watched Tycho and we found ourselves talking about him and pulling out our cell phones so we could coo over our photos of him, we realized it's much more difficult than we thought. And that's okay. After all, our kid is a huge part of our lives now, and likely will be forever and ever amen. (Next date night, though, we have a no-talking-about-Tycho rule!)

Use your partner. And don't hang over his/her shoulder. This was the HARDEST one to learn. Matt would take Tycho for a morning and I'd find myself waking up only 30 minutes later because I was panicking about... something. Or nothing. Usually nothing. They'd be downstairs chilling, typically with Matt and his XBox controller and Tycho napping in his rock 'n' play. And I'd still be tired because I couldn't just let him do his thing, something that I know by watching him that he is very capable of doing. I've since stopped correcting him, too, as there really is nothing to correct. (Seriously.)

You won't win all the time. But you won't really lose, either. I mean, sleep, yeah, you might lose that. Your mind? You'll definitely lose that. But not winning is a part of this whole game, as sucky as that is; what worked today probably won't work tomorrow, and you'll find that your winning streak ends shortly after it started. You will get participation ribbons, though, at certain points: When your baby smiles at you for the first time, when your tickles elicit a happy gurgle, when the sound of silence follows a three-hour screaming spree. And trust me, you'll find so much worth in those ribbons that you will, at least temporarily, forget all about "winning".

In fact:

Failure is good. Failure is normal. And failure will make for better kids. If you're going to fail at being a perfect parent -- and you will, and I have! And I'm going to keep failing! -- at the very least, you'll teach your kids how to pick up after you've fallen. Your kids don't learn when you're without a single flaw, they learn when they see how you handle when shit really goes down. I like to credit the hard times my parents fell on, both when parenting me and otherwise, to how I handle stress and failure in my own life. It's a hard lesson to learn, but better to learn through emulation than first experience with any disappointment.

And to imagine, I only learned this in six weeks. Imagine what all I'll know when Tycho is two. And, you know, all of this flies out the fucking window. ;)