Losing myself, gaining perspective.

I know it's been a while since I've posted. Things at work have been especially crazy, and between that and taking care of Tycho and other such life responsibilities when we all get home, I'm about ready to pass out when he goes to bed. In search of some balance, I've had to let a few things go lately, one of which has been my blog.

Which is a shame, as I love to write, but such is life.

I was talking to another witchy mama earlier today, and she mentioned feeling the same way. "Part of my issue is that I took on the parenting role full force. I'm the primary caregiver, I adjusted my work schedule, and we practice attachment parenting."

Since becoming a parent, I've noticed the same in myself. Practically every one of my interests -- writing, music, Paganism, cooking, even health and fitness -- all went straight to the back burner when Tycho was born, and now my days are taken up with breastfeeding, cloth diapers, baby carriers, and cuddling my sweet little boy. Could I be making a better effort to immerse myself into my interests again, and even take the time to bring Tycho into the fold? Perhaps, so, but as my friend also said:

"You sacrifice so much of yourself for your kids, but the relationship is worth it."

It is. It's absolutely worth it, even if I feel a little disappointed that I can't throw myself at my hobbies like I could pre-baby. Not a day goes by that I'm not simultaneously wistful for the past and excited for the present, and as I see Tycho grow older and become his own person day by day, I also get mentally prepared for all the future holds.

For now, I'm going to start taking little steps to get myself back into those things I want to explore more deeply, and will keep in the back of my mind that there will be infinitely more time for myself as Tycho becomes more independent. When those days come? I'm sure I'll be pining even more for the baby who insists on sitting in my lap, offers little kisses completely unprompted, and looks at me with love as he calls me Mama.

And while I'll make a more sincere effort to be present in my blog and in my own little world, I know y'all (as fellow parents or parents-to-be) understand that, at least for now, his world is my world. Which is totally cool by me. :)

(Side note: In the interest of expanding this blog to fulfill these other parts of myself that I'd like to explore, The Mocking Mommy will likely undergo some changes in the near future, not the least of which is a blog name and design change. So keep an eye out for that!)