Progressive waiting, comfort nursing, and the battle of theZZZZzzzz's... (Part 2)

Yesterday we discussed the Progressive Waiting technique for getting your baby down to sleep. It's a method that, for crib training, worked incredibly well for us: Within two days, Tycho had transitioned to the crib, and now he happily falls asleep and stays asleep in the crib for naps and nighttime. I think he actually enjoys being able to spread out, and now that he's rolling in his sleep, we find him comfortably snoozing on his stomach most nights.

There are several other sleep training methods out there, including some purported "no-cry" techniques (though in my experience, any kind of training involves tears at some point!), but I won't get into them as I'm not familiar with nor have we tried them. Some of those methods include:

• The No-Cry Sleep Solution, Elizabeth Pantley
• The Baby Sleep Book, Dr. William Sears
• The Happiest Baby On the Block, Dr. Harvey Karp

One that I recently came across isn't really a method at all, but a way of thinking about sleep, our associations with sleep, and how we come to sleep as we do today.

I started doing some research on the "cry it out" method with respect to breastfeeding; it was interesting how I hadn't really thought about it before, but when Matt recently suggested that we return to Ferberizing during this fussy phase Tycho is going through, I couldn't help but feel a little unease about the prospect. It's nothing against Matt -- after all, I get the want for a fast fix, especially since both our sleep was suffering -- but my own preconceived notion of what "healthy" sleep is and how Tycho has been responding to nursing to sleep.

That's when I came across this KellyMom.com article about nursing to sleep and comfort nursing, both things that Tycho has been doing for the past month or so. I knew this was the right article for me when I read the very first line:

Many moms feel guilty for nursing their baby to sleep.

... then continued to read this:

Nursing your baby to sleep is not a bad thing to do! It’s very normal and developmentally appropriate for babies to nurse to sleep and to wake 1-3 times during the night for the first year or so.

Phew! Let me tell you. As much as I already knew that was the case (that night-wakings are common at this age), it was reassuring to read it in black and white. Even if it did very little for my psyche -- I do enjoy my sleep, after all. ;)

So what's the deal with nursing to sleep, anyway? Am I going to create a boob monster who can only be calmed down with "nursies" (our affectionate term for breastfeeding, often used with the sign for "milk"), or who has to night-nurse until he's six, or who won't be able to sleep if I'm not around?

In short, no. Daycare has already proven those false, as they obviously can't nurse him down for a nap or use it as a calming mechanism, but they manage to get him through the day with adequate naps and happiness abound. I've also seen him fall asleep at home without nursing, though those moments are few and far between because, let's face it, if I have that in my back pocket? I'm going to use it!

Falling asleep after a snack of apple slices. ;)

I started to think about my own bedtime rituals. They're short and sweet, but typically involve something like gathering the covers around me as I lay on my back, getting all warm, creating extra space for my feet with the covers (I hate the sensation of covers pressing down on my feet), and sometimes doing a progressive relaxation from my toes to my head, though I rarely get to my torso before I'm fast asleep. These are things that are comforting to me, and I find that doing that each night, with some exceptions, can get me down pretty easily.

KellyMom explains baby's sleep in the same fashion: Nursing to sleep is a normal thing, not a bad habit that has been fostered, as the breast is a comforting and familiar place to be. I can tell already that Tycho has associated breastfeeding or comfort nursing as a way to slow down, relax, and snuggle in -- his nursing is my progressive relaxation.

But what about those night-wakings where he will only be soothed by me and the breast? If you think about it, when you wake up and discover that you're having a hard time falling back to sleep, you revert back to those comforting habits you have to go back out, right? While Tycho does have the capability to put himself back to sleep*, there are some times when, especially during a Wonder Week, that might prove difficult and the only way to fall asleep again is to get that sleep association. There will come a time when he can do it without nursing, but in the interim, I'm okay with him needing something -- or someone! -- to fall back asleep.

*He actually does do this, and quite well! On Wednesday while Matt was out of town this past week, I heard Tycho stirring and babbling in his crib somewhere around 5am, and instead of getting him, I put the pillow over my head and tried to drown him out a bit. I could still hear him if he started crying, but if he was just entertaining himself, I wanted that extra hour! When my alarm went off at 6am, I noticed he had stopped talking, and he must have for a while, as I had to actually wake him up that morning at 6:30am. So he can do it!

The article goes further into depth on topics such as falling asleep without the boob (or transitioning to sleeping without the boob), naptime and the light nurser, and how baby will fall asleep without mom there, so I encourage you to check those out. I won't bother rehashing here! ;) I did just want to point out that, while Ferberizing worked for crib-training's sake, that doesn't mean that nursing to sleep is a bad thing, even if it means only I can take care of it.

So for the time being, it's going to be all about mommy, all about nursies, and all about getting him (and hopefully us) some good-quality sleep.

Wish us luck and lots of ZZZzzzz's, everyone... :)