Little Reader

 

We had a lot of fun reading on Saturday. :)

Bronze Boobies, Bronze Bottles... and tarnished views. ((Wo)man In the Mirror)

[caption id="attachment_1887" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Yum yum yum. :)[/caption]

I've been reading a lot from the Fearless Formula Feeder lately, and today I came across a post that shared the comments formula-feeders receive on the way they feed their children. That post highlighted a particular comment from a BabyCenter thread:

Disclaimer: feeding your baby is the most important thing and moms should do that in whichever way is necessary. HOWEVER....

The past three months, I dealt with cracked bleeding nipples, trying to wean off a shield which now makes it hurt every time she latches still, double mastits, thrush, growth spurts where I thought my tits were going to fall off, not being able to take some time to myself because no one else can feed her, rude comments for feeding my child in public, plus many other obstacles.

I could have chose to throw some powder and water into a bottle and have my husband feed her but I powered through and THAT is why I deserve an "award" and you don't.

Harsh? Yes. True? Yes.

(One wonders why she bothered with the disclaimer in the first place. :P)

Y'all know all about my breastfeeding failure journey, right? Even now, with Tycho turning 15 weeks tomorrow (where did the time go?!), I feel like I missed out on something, despite the fact that breastfeeding came with a set of extreme challenges that I simply couldn't overcome, physically and especially mentally. I'm not proud that I failed at it, but after a lot of time and being gentle with myself, I can say I'm proud that my son is healthy, happy, and thriving, even on (and probably especially because of) formula.

Of course, not everyone has the same kind of sympathy or support for formula-feeding mothers, and much of the criticism and vitriol seems to come from exclusive breastfeeders. Not to say that all of them do, but there were a number of comments on that same thread about how shaking a bottle wasn't hard, that mothers are taking the easy way out by formula-feeding, that they didn't "suck it up and deal" or that they "didn't try hard enough."

I'll admit: For the most part, the physical act of formula-feeding IS easier. It's not all that difficult to measure out some formula powder, plop it into a few ounces of water, shake, and serve. I can do it, my husband can do it, anyone who cares for our son can do it. Probably the most difficult part of it is making sure all the parts are sterilized properly, that you have the right powder-to-water ratio, and that your hands are clean before mixing formula. (And truth be told, at least the cleanliness is something that breastfeeders who express their milk need to worry about, too.)

However, many EBFers tend to forget that, much like they find pleasure in nourishing their babies, so do FFers. It's using a different method and a different substance, but both types of feeders are giving their babies their absolute best. I know I feel my heart swell with pride and happiness as Tycho gazes up at me, grasping one of my fingers with his tiny hands and occasionally smiling around the bottle's nipple, and I know many breastfeeding moms who feel the same when their babies tug at their bra straps or smile around their nipples.

And in some ways, formula-feeding is hard. It means making sure everything is precise so you're not giving your baby an inadequate amount or mixture of formula; it means the added cost of the powder and the bottles and the freezer packs to keep them cool and the warmers to heat the formula back up; it means hearing your baby cry for food as you carefully measure out exactly what he or she needs; it means feeling just as self-conscious and even ashamed about feeding your baby in the middle of a crowded Target and overhearing an older woman tell her husband under her breath, "Ugh, feeding her kid poison like that."

(Not that I've ever heard that one before... sigh...)

I do understand that breastfeeders catch quite a bit of flak from the community for feeding their babies with a part of our bodies that has become sexualized in our culture. Put those boobs away, there are children around! Can't you just use a blanket? Ugh, so gross for whipping out your titty like that! I get it, I get it.

But while those comments seem to be more a result of our culture's prudishness, the comments flung at formula-feeding moms are more derisive and make mothers question their qualifications as a mother... and are even more painful when they come from other mothers. Like formula-feeding moms didn't care enough about their children to sacrifice themselves and give the baby the boob, regardless of the physical, mental, and other trials those moms may have gone through to eventually come to formula-feed.

The enemy in all this, more than the doctors or the media or the FDA or anyone else, is ourselves as mothers. In a society where women are already put down and questioned for everything they do, we as mothers sure do make it a point to make other moms feel bad about their decisions and their lifestyles, especially when it comes to something as emotionally charged as breast- versus formula-feeding.

Before Tycho was born, I was one of those mothers. I firmly subscribed to the idea that "breast is best", and I went through every effort to make that true for myself and my son, too: We had bottles, but they were only to be used for daycare. I had our insurance company send me a breast pump for when I went back to work. I tried to fix my flat nipples before he was born. I invested in lanolin, nursing bras, pads for leaking boobies, and supplements to keep my supply up.

And all went to crap when I couldn't do it anymore.

[caption id="attachment_1889" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Tycho's first DC Metro ride! :)[/caption]

It was my personal experience, my personal "failure", that made me change my mind about what's "best" for myself, and more importantly, what's best for others. Who was I to say that something that never worked for me was best for other mothers, and who was I to accuse a mother of "poisoning" her child with formula or anything else?

I've made it my goal since then to not criticize another mother for anything she does with and to her children, so long as it doesn't actively make their lives worse (as in the case of abuse -- and no, formula-feeding does not constitute abuse!). By doing so, I hope that other moms would do the same and not only decide what is best for themselves, but also not look askance at another family for doing what is best for them.

I've looked at the woman in the mirror, and I've asked her to change her ways... both in how she views herself and in how she views others.

Because nothing is more important than being supportive. :)

Post-Preggo Body

About three weeks postpartum.

The day after giving birth to our son, Matt and I went to the pediatrician then for a walk around Target. Our tiny bundle of joy was in our Moby carrier, and many people (mostly women) ooh'ed and aah'ed at the sight of a little baby already taken outside the comforts of home. And without missing a beat, many of them said, to some effect, "Wow... you look great for just having had a baby! You don't even look like you were pregnant!"

Some of the other comments were a bit more rude than that ("I kind of hate you for bouncing back so fast!"), but for the most part, they were pretty benign. While the comments themselves only bothered me a little -- stop staring at my post-preggo belly! -- the fact that it's one of the first things after my adorable baby that they noticed really started to get annoying.

I can only image that, as annoyed as I've been with those types of comments, Kate Middleton has got to be feeling it even more. I honestly forgot that she was even pregnant. ;) I only remembered when I came across stories that announced to the world about the birth of their son, George Alexander Louis, and my first thought was, "Well, not what I'd name my kid, but cool!"

(But we named our son Tycho, sooooo...)

Anyway, many of the stories I read had some amazing pictures of the new eventual King, as well as some of the beaming, brand new parents. I noted that Kate was especially beautiful, her hair all done up, and I wished I looked nearly as presentable as I hobbled out of the birth center, haha.

Smitten. :)

And I found myself, like everyone else who doesn't live under a rock, doing the one thing that I hate: Eyeing her post-preggo belly. The press was all over it, too, saying that her "mummy tummy" was the delight of mothers all over the world, that "That neat bump was the only thing which gave away the fact Kate had given birth to an 8lb 6oz boy just a day earlier. And the glowing duchess clearly felt no need to hide it, a decision praised immediately by mothers’ groups."

It made me realize that, no matter how much I want to deny it, I've been trained incredibly well by the media. While not the first to notice, I certainly wasn't exempt from taking a quick peek, even if it's something I despise when others do it. She did look amazing, and she was honest and real and wasn't afraid to hide it, but at the same time... why did I care what she looked like after childbirth?

Why does anyone care what any woman looks like after childbirth?!

And why do we pass judgment or otherwise comment on a woman's body, anyway, whether that woman does or doesn't have "post-baby weight"?

Oh-em-gee, did you see that mom still wearing maternity jeans? Isn't her baby, like, a month old?!

(Shut up, Tycho. I'm still wearing mine and have no intention of letting them go anytime soon. :P)

Pregnancy is an absolutely ridiculous and miraculous process that happens to a woman, both inside and out. Body parts expand, scales climb in number, food sometimes projectiles, happiness (typically) grows, a welcoming space is created, and anticipation builds. The incredible changes are ones that last a lifetime, including but certainly not limited to the physical ones.

Rather than being scrutinized, a woman should instead be celebrated for what she ultimately did: She created new life! And that body should be celebrated just as earnestly, should be allowed to look however it looks for however long it looks that way. Our bodies are beautiful and can accomplish amazing things, including but certainly not limited to making babies.

It kind of disgusts me, honestly, that we're more concerned about a pregnant or postpartum mother's outsides than her insides. Why don't we instead worry about whether her diet is abundant and nutritious? If she's getting adequate water intake? If she's sleeping enough, if her healthcare is adequate, if she's healing both physically and mentally?

Because nothing is more important than making sure that both mom and baby are healthy and happy. Not if her belly has shrunk to an acceptable level, but if she had a healthy delivery without complication; not if she looks haggard and unkempt, but if she is getting the sleep she needs to care for her baby; not if her feet have expanded or her nose has broadened, but if her heart has expanded with love and her sense of personal accomplishment has broadened.

Physical therapy (and some pictures of my cutie)

Tycho's physical therapist (PT) is a member of Maryland's Infant and Toddler Program, a state-sponsored program that provides infants, toddlers, and children and their families with support and services related to physical therapy and other special education programs. It's based on the federal Individuals with Disabilities Act (IDEA) and ensures that children with disabilities have the chance to receive a free and appropriate education (FAPE) to support their developmental and learning needs.

We were referred to them after our pediatrician's office noted his tort and brachy. To qualify, we needed to have, I believe it was, a 20% delay in his overall development, be it physical, mental, or otherwise. The state had a PT come out to evaluate him, and they were with him for about two hours while they checked him out from head to toe.

We just managed to qualify partly because of Tycho's tort, and as a result of the same, he's developmentally delayed in his gross and fine motor skills. No biggie, especially since they caught it early, but it's still something else we need to work on.

Our PT is Jen, a really vivacious woman who seriously reminds me of a west coast Florida beach bum somehow plopped in the middle of Maryland. (So that's to say, I can relate. ;)) Tycho took to her pretty immediately, offering smiles and coos until she started manipulating him. To his credit, though, it was 6:45 in the morning!

Jen taught us a number of exercises we can do with him, from side-lying on the affected side to increased tummy time and stretches to tilt his head to the right. We have a feeling he'll be more inclined to do them once we get one of these spinning wand dealies, which kept him plenty distracted and actually stopped his crying in its tracks a few times.



She'll be coming a few more times over the summer, save for weeks when she'll be out of town. After that point, we can decide if we want to switch to PT in Howard County (which means we can have someone visit him at the daycare, but we'll need a new therapist) or if we want to keep these 6:45am appointments. If it continues to go as well as it did today, I might be inclined to keep the latter. Plus, having one therapist work with him without real change would be nice!

I feel so fortunate that we're able to get this service free of charge and at our home. It takes a bit of stress off myself and Matt, and gives Tycho the chance to get better while in the comfort of familiar space. Between this, the chiropractic appointments we have, and the helmet, we're thinking all of this should be resolved by 7 months at the earliest, and best prognosis at a year. I'm stoked!

As a thank you for sticking with me through all these posts, here are some cute pictures. Not that I'm biased or anything. ;)

 

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500"] "Tycho Airliiiiiines!"[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Cousin love! <3 (Babe on the left is 6.5 weeks older than Tycho!)[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1872" align="aligncenter" width="500"] He may be sick (yay daycare), but he's still all smiles![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1873" align="aligncenter" width="500"] 3 months and LOL-worthy. ;)[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1874" align="aligncenter" width="500"] In his Hungry Caterpillar cloth diaper! (That's right, we're starting cloth again!)[/caption]

And mostly for lulz:

 

 

 

 

STOP... Helmet Time!

We had our second appointment at STAR Cranial today, and they confirmed what our physical therapist and our pediatricians have said (and what we thought would be the case): Tycho's gotta be helmeted.

It's not that our methods have failed; in fact, the measures we took to round out his head -- more tummy time, holding him on his side to stretch out his neck muscle, generally keeping his head up as much as possible, and others -- worked on his mild case of plagiocephaly, and with further physical therapy and chiropractic work for his torticollis, that will only improve.

But his issues are all congenital, meaning they were there at or as a result of birth. Any measures that we took therefore didn't mean too much, at least in regards to the brachycephaly, as his head was already molded that way and would only continue to get worse without some sort of intervention.

Hence the helmet. STARband, to be precise. Among the physical therapist... and the chiropractor... and the guidelines we still follow... and just, everything.



His helmet fitting is two weeks from now, and we'll have it shortly afterward. He's going to be in it 23 hours of the day, taking it off only for physical therapy (basically 45 minutes or so, three times a month) and for bathtime. They estimate he shouldn't need it any longer than four months; the first two is critical as his brain and head are expanding so rapidly, and the last two would act as a "retainer" so the bones can settle.

Since football season is around the corner, we're planning on getting some Miami Dolphins decals and decorating his helmet. Matt said that, if they do well this season, he might want Tycho to keep it on through January. ;)



As for how we're taking all this in... I do feel confident that the helmet is going to do its job, and if we're proactive about his exercises and keeping the orthotic on as long as needed, Tycho should be 100% by his first birthday at the latest. I am nervous and admittedly disappointed that it had to come to this, but we tried our best and now know that this is the best option.

I mean, come on, what wouldn't you do for this precious face. <3

[caption id="attachment_1862" align="aligncenter" width="373"] (Thank you to a wonderful DCP at his daycare for this one. Tycho Suave, wassup. ;))[/caption]

Torticollis info (sorry, no graphic, boo!)

Someone seriously needs to turn this info into an infographic. You know how much everyone likes pictures. ;)

Here's some information found on torticollis, found on BabyCenter.

What is torticollis?

Torticollis means "twisted neck," and if a child has this condition, her head will be tilted to one side while the chin is turned to the other side. It's also sometimes called wryneck. While it may look painful, it usually isn't.

When a baby is born with the condition, it's called congenital torticollis. (There's also a condition called acquired torticollis that can develop at a later time. In some cases of acquired torticollis, the chin may be turned to the same side as the head.)

About 1 in 250 infants are born with torticollis. (Ten to 20 percent of babies with torticollis also have hip dysplasia, in which the hip joint is malformed.)

What causes congenital torticollis?

Congenital torticollis is most often due to tightness in the muscle that connects the breastbone and the collarbone to the skull. (It's called the sternocleidomastoid muscle). This is called congenital muscular torticollis. This tightness might have developed because of the way your baby was positioned in the uterus (with the head tilted to one side) or because the muscles were damaged during delivery.

Much less commonly, congenital torticollis is caused by abnormalities in the bones of the neck (the cervical vertebrae). The bones may be abnormally formed, stuck together (fused), or a combination of both. This condition is known as Klippel-Feil syndrome.

It's important to know whether Klippel-Feil is what's causing a baby's neck problem because many babies with this syndrome have other problems, especially with hearing and the kidneys. Also, the stretching exercises recommended for muscular torticollis are not only ineffective but potentially dangerous for a child with Klippel-Feil syndrome.

In rare cases, congenital torticollis may be inherited. Or it may be the result of a more serious underlying condition, such as a brain or spinal cord tumor that damages the nervous system or muscles.

How will I know if my baby has torticollis?

You'll probably notice that your baby holds her head to one side and has limited neck movement. Another telltale sign is a small bump on the side of her neck.

Congenital muscular torticollis is usually diagnosed within the first two months of a baby's life. Even if parents don't spot it, a pediatrician will.

Babies with torticollis may also develop positional plagiocephaly (asymmetrical head shape) because they'll often sleep with their head turned to the side.

In addition to a physical exam, the doctor may need to order X-rays of the neck to determine which form of torticollis your child has. The doctor may also order other tests, such as an ultrasound of the hips or kidneys, depending on the type of torticollis.

How is it treated?

Your child's doctor may refer you to a physical therapist or an orthopedic surgeon (bone and joint doctor).

Congenital muscular torticollis is typically treated with stretching and positioning. You'll need to perform these exercises on your baby several times a day. The moves aren't complicated, but make sure you understand them and are comfortable doing them before you leave the doctor's or physical therapist's office.

If your baby has muscular torticollis, you'll want to provide as many opportunities as possible for her to turn her head to the side that she normally doesn't turn to. If she has trouble turning her head to the right, for example, you could lay her on the changing table so you're standing at her right side. And position her in the crib so she has to look to her right to see anyone approaching her.

It's also important to give your baby plenty of time on her tummy when she's awake, to help develop the muscles in her neck.

How long does it take to see results?

As long as your baby's muscular torticollis is discovered early enough – ideally by the age of 2 or 3 months – and you're following the prescribed stretching program, you'll probably see improvement within weeks. The condition should be fully corrected by age 1.

If, however, the muscles don't return to their normal length and your baby doesn't have a normal range of motion by the time she's 18 months old, your doctor may refer you to an orthopedic surgeon, who may recommend surgery to lengthen the muscles. Surgery is performed in about 15 percent of cases.

Note: This article was also reviewed by William A. Phillips, chief of pediatric orthopedics and scoliosis at Texas Children's Hospital, and professor of orthopedics and pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine.

Plagiocephaly infographic

I've received a lot of questions about what plagio and the other -cephalies are, so when I came across this infographic, I instantly thought of y'all. :)

(Click to go to the original page and embiggen!)

Infant torticollis and random -cephalies.

Tycho turns three months tomorrow, which just blows my mind! Matt put it into a perspective that I almost can't bear to consider: Our little baby is already a quarter of a year old. How time flies!

In celebration, we have a couple appointments coming up to treat what has been officially diagnosed as torticollis and brachycephaly (with possible slight plagiocephaly). Totally exciting, right? I see y'all tilting your head in confusion, so allow me to explain.

Basically, the torticollis is the shortening of the muscles on one side of the neck that makes Tycho look like he's tilting his head in confusion, too... but on a relatively constant basis.

[caption id="attachment_1843" align="aligncenter" width="333"] Cutest example ever, right?![/caption]

And the two -cephalies are a misshaping of his skull. You can't really tell from the above picture too much, but the back of his head is really flat (brachycephaly) and the left side of his skull is being pulled a little from the torticollis (plagiocephaly). All these conditions usually go hand-in-hand, especially torticollis and plagio.

Both are a result of, in our case, restricted intrauterine space that caused his head to be jammed in my pelvis from 30 weeks on -- great for positioning, not so much for these issues -- and from the notorious Back to Sleep campaign from 1992 that states infants should be on their backs to sleep.

As a result, we're having a physical therapist come to the house to give us exercises to lengthen the neck muscles on his left, and our second cranial specialist appointment to see if there has been any improvement with his head.

We already had our first consultation with the cranial specialist, who pointed out that his brachy is pretty severe, while his plagio is mild at best. (Untreated torticollis, by the way, can lead to worsening plagio, which... fun, right?) The appointment this coming week is to see if any of the efforts we've put in to reduce the problems -- among them, tummy time, side-lying, adjusting his position in his sleep, and others (opens a PDF file), which are designed to help all the conditions he has -- has done anything to improve his skull shape.

They plan to have another appointment at four months as well, and if there's little or no improvement, they plan to introduce the DOC band, an infant helmet which helps the skull mold in a certain way. This helmet is worn 23 hours of the day, removed only during bathing, and can be worn anywhere from three to nine months (or as otherwise recommended).

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400"] I HAD to use this example, it was too good![/caption]

I'm strongly considering asking them at this appointment to have him fitted for a helmet. We had to visit the doctor this morning because he's coming down with a cold (fun times all around for this almost-three-month-old, amirite?), and though he's not our regular doctor, even he asked about the brachy and said we may need to consider a helmet, even with the therapies.

WARNING: Extreme Mommy Guilt Ahead!

So here I am, resigned to the idea that our son -- who, in my eyes, is absolutely perfect in every way, as I'm sure all parents believe of their babies -- may have to wear a helmet to correct something that I feel like I could have prevented. I know for a fact that some of this was beyond my control, especially considering that my small uterus was to the point that I actually went into labor early. But what about lying him on his head? Taking him for walks or car rides in his carrier? Even the PPD I had at first that made me not want to hold him... could that have caused my beautiful son to suffer?

I feel like nothing has gone right. He's formula-fed, in disposable diapers, silently refluxes, is already on prescription medication, goes to daycare, has gotten sick that first week of daycare (common, I know, but really?!), and now he might need a helmet?!

Of course, I'm willing to do absolutely anything to help this and to give him the best life possible, even if that means subjecting him (and, by proxy, my heart!) to a helmet for as long as needed. And I know that nothing I've done is really wrong, not by any stretch of the imagination. But boy, do I feel guilty for all of this. I just hope that, if he does end up needing it, I don't see it every day as a physical reminder of my own failure. Whether that's the case or not.

And if anything, we can totally make it look like an astronaut helmet. So not all hope is lost, right? :)

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Or this. Which is totally adorable and appropriate.[/caption]

Project: Clothespin Photo Frame

A friend at work has been asking me to share my photo frame with everyone on Pinterest, so here it is! This was a really quick project that took me a night to accomplish, and it took very little artistic skill. (Trust me. It needs to if I can do it!)

I wanted a frame that I could keep at work so I could see Tycho all the time, but be able to easily trade out photos as he grows up. No fuss, no muss... and thus, the clothespin photo frame was created!

What you'll need:

* a photo frame (the bigger, the better!)
* acrylic paint of your color choice
* a cheapie paint sponge thing
* ribbon of your choice
* a hammer (or other slammy-type object)
* thumbtacks
* clothespins of your choice (I used the baby shower ones from Michael's)
* lots and lots of pictures!

This idea actually came to me after finding a photo frame for $10, originally $50. Y'all know how expensive frames can be! I was THRILLED to find such a cheap one with such a nice design.



ASSEMBLE THE HORDE... uh, your materials. I ended up not using the chalkboard paint, but I've got it on hand for future projects!

And those beautiful flowers? Those are from Matt, for our 8-year dating anniversary (25 June). Aren't they gorgeous?! :)



Disassemble your frame. All you're going to need at this point is the frame itself; you can ditch the backing and the signature board thing.



Ditch the glass, too, but be careful when removing it. Mine shattered! Cheap for a reason, right?



Paint the frame with whatever color you prefer. Or don't! I ended up painting mine because I hated that brassy color.



Just one coat and I was done! I didn't cover the brass entirely as I liked the antique look that one coat gave.



Measure out your ribbon and cut. Leave enough at the ends to fold over the end for extra support. Hammer down the ribbon to adjacent sides of the frame, getting as close to the frame edge as you can (hard to describe; see the photo above -- you want to be as far from the back of the frame as possible as the photos will be free-floating).

You'll want to measure how much room you want between each ribbon, too. I wanted mine to hold portrait-length photos with a bit of overlap.



Test it out! Grab some clothespins and hang a few photos from your ribbons.

And voila, you're done! I hung mine up with a couple regular tacks. :)