Pagan Blog Prompts: Handfastings

Once in a while, when I'm short on things to write about, I'll check out Pagan Blog Prompts and write a bit on their topic of the day. Thursday is over and done, but I still came across this question and, since I had a handfasting myself and some friends here have expressed interest (hi, Tori! :)), I thought I'd answer and give some perspective on our handfasting!

Prompt: Handfasting

Would you do it as a way to symbolize your commitment in a relationship? As part of, or separate from, a traditional wedding?

Have you done it? If you are comfortable sharing, please tell us about it.

I think this part of the question is best asked together!

Matt and I did have a handfasting at our wedding. More accurately, we had an interfaith Jewish-Pagan wedding, which featured many different aspects from our religious and spiritual backgrounds. A  handfasting was only part of the ceremony!

It was a very important part to me, though. I see handfastings as a way to symbolize the relationship between myself and Matt -- two separate people bound together by promises, thanks, and love (quite literally!).

Below is the portion of our ceremony during which we were handfasted, performed by our wonderful cantor:

Since ancient times, people have communed with nature to learn more about themselves and about each other. Since it is within nature that we all abide, we ask for Matthew and Stephanie the blessings of nature. We do this so they may come to fully understand the lessons each element has to offer, the attributes of which are examples of those aspects they mirror within themselves.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of Earth, which provides sustenance, fertility and security. The earth will feed and enrich you, and help you to build a stable home to which you may always return.

(tie a knot in the cord)

Blessed be this union with the gifts of Air, for openness and breath, communication of the heart, and purity of the mind and body.

(tie a knot in the cord)

Blessed be this union with the gifts of Fire, for energy, passion, creativity and the warmth of a loving home. From the fire within you generate light, which you will share in even the darkest of times.

(tie a knot in the cord)

Blessed be this union with the gifts of Water, for our capacity to feel emotion. In marriage you offer trust to one another, and vow to keep your hearts open in sorrow as well as joy.

(tie a knot in the cord)

It was absolutely beautiful, and people who attended our wedding said it was one of the most moving portions of the ceremony. I was surprised to hear so much positivity coming out of a ritual that is historically Pagan, but everyone was very receptive of it!

Let me tell y'all firsthand (ha, handfasting, firsthand, get it?): In every aspect of your life, so long as you're doing good, you're doing right... by yourself and everyone. Don't be afraid to show others who you truly are, for they will love you despite -- or even because of -- it.



Do you believe a hand-fasting can be undone, in a sort of pagan divorce?

I for one never hope to find out! ;) But seriously, I think it can be -- just as wedding vows can be made, they can also be changed, revoked, or broken. Being married, handfasted, or otherwise joined together with love means actively working towards that love; you're making the conscious decision every day to give your heart, mind, and soul to that other person.

So when the conscious decision is affected and thing don't work out, sure, the bindings can come loose, unravel, and completely separate. They're not permanent, but a couple can choose whether to tighten them each day... or let go.

Meatless Monday: 11 Reasons Why Dairy Kinda Sucks

I'm getting kind of anxious about this upcoming vegan experiment. The more research I do, the more I realize that it's about more than simply cutting out eggs and dairy, but a change in almost everything. Those two are actually the easiest!

And this is coming from a lover of cheese. I mean, I plan to have pizza tonight and make lasagna tomorrow (did I mention my mom is going to be in town from tonight through next Monday morning? She is! I'm so excited!), and they will both have copious amounts of cheese.

This seems to be the downfall for all vegetarians, actually. Eggs? No problem. Straight-up milk? Soy or rice or almond is even better. But you put some cheese in front of them... and their willpower crumbles.

I'm one of those.



However, I imagine this month won't be nearly as hard after picking up Whitewash: The Disturbing Truth About Cow's Milk and Your Health. We all know the daily mantra: Drink your milk so you'll grow big and strong, have healthy bones and teeth, and so forth. This book? It challenges all that. Y'all should read it; it'll forever change how you see milk.

I, for one, am willing to take the challenge, and the reasons below (among many others) are why.

1. Cow’s milk is intended for baby cows.

Think about it: When you ask someone why we don't drink elephant milk, we (typically) reply, "Because that's for baby elephants!"

Exactly.

We are the only species, aside from those we're domesticating, that drinks milk after infancy and, even more odd, drinks the milk of other species.

2. Hormones and nutrient amounts are different.

The hormones and nutrients contained in cow's milk are naturally higher in some areas and lower in others, as those are what a baby cow requires. When compared with the milk created by humans for their babies, the differences between the nutrients can be astounding:



Add to that the amount of hormones and steroids given to cows to keep them lactating, increase milk production, and otherwise "plump" them up, and you have a recipe for disaster. These hormones can negatively impact our hormonal balance!

3. Most cows are fed inappropriate food.

Cows are supposed to chew cud --the portion of grass and other foods in a cow's natural diet that returns from the stomach to the mouth to be chewed a second time. Gross, yes, but this process if vital for a cow's digestion.

Nowadays, your average cow is eating feed containing ingredients that include genetically modified (GM) corn, GM soy, animal products, chicken shit (no, seriously), cottonseed, pesticides, antibiotics, and other nasty stuff. You are what you eat? Well, imagine eating that stuff... through your milk!

4. Dairy products, when metabolized, are acid-forming.

Contrary to popular belief, the milk you're drinking is actually working against your bones. Our bodies strive for biochemical balance to keep our blood acid levels at 7.365 pH, and eating excessive acid-forming products can cause our bodies to overuse its acid-balancing mechanisms... including our bones, which contain alkaline calcium that are released to combat excessive blood acidity. This leads to bone fragility.

In turn (and shockingly)...

5. Research shows that the countries whose citizens consume the most dairy products have the HIGHEST incidence of osteoporosis.

Yes, really.



6. Most dairy cows live in confined, inhumane conditions.

All right. I'm never one to really preach about animal cruelty or anything, but it needs to be said: Some of the cows that are milked their entire lives suffer with bone fragility, illness, abuse, and oftentimes premature death. Being a milk cow in the dairy industry can cut down a cow's life by two-thirds. And that green grass we mentioned before? Most cows go never knowing what a blade of grass even is.

7. During the pasteurization process, vitamins, proteins, and enzymes are destroyed.

Most dairy products are pasteurized to kill potentially-harmful bacteria. Enzymes are what assist with digestion, and when they're destroyed or otherwise removed via pasteurization and other processes, the milk becomes harder to digest. This puts a strain on our bodies' enzyme systems. It is one of many reasons why many people are intolerant to milk and dairy products.

8. Dairy products are mucous-forming.

There was once a time when I cut out dairy and wheat from my diet, just to see what would happen. I did it in spring, a time when flowers are blooming and I'm sneezing my head off and reaching for my inhaler ever few hours. That year? Not one sniffle, not one wheeze.

Dairy products are mucous-forming, and they can easily contribute to respiratory disorders, allergies, and other ailments as a result.

9. Research links dairy products with arthritis.

Scientist Richard Panush was actually able to produce inflamed joints in rabbits by switching their water to milk. In another study, scientists observed a more than 50% reduction in arthritic pain and swelling when participants eliminated milk and dairy products from their diets. Powerful stuff there!

10. Most milk is homogenized, which denatures the milk’s proteins, making it harder to digest.

When you get sick, the "foreign invaders" are attacked by your immune system and either keep you from getting worse (and actually make you better!) or prevent you from getting sick in the first place. The milk proteins, since they're a foreign substance when homogenized, are seen as "foreign invaders", so your immune system reacts as if they were something dangerous, and everything overreacts.

11. Milk can lead to a myriad diseases...

... including but not limited to hypertension (due to elevated sodium in dairy products), heart disease (due to elevated amounts of saturated fat and cholesterol in dairy products), overweightness and obesity (due to the same and the popularity of chocolate and other flavored milks), diabetes (due to the same), and a generally shorter life span.

2:11am

In a feeble attempt to calm her nerves, she focuses instead on the red numbers from the digital clock that illuminates the kitchen as they walk by. Wow, it is late, she thinks absentmindedly.

He follows only a few steps behind her, and she wonders if he can smell the day campers and movie theatre popcorn on her clothes... or if, beyond all that, he can smell her apprehension. She really has nothing to fear -- they had been hanging out together for a couple weeks, and he was nothing but friendly, gentle, and kind -- but she can't help but feel that something is coming, that wheels are turning.

The doorknob feels cool in her hand as she clasps it, a strange feeling considering the Florida summer heat outside. Even in the dead of night, temperatures hover in the lower 90s, so the cool knob must be a result of her warm skin from flushing so often that evening. She shakes the thought out of her mind, the way he sat next to her during Batman Begins and how she couldn't remember a single thing from the movie but could remember every nuance about how he ate his candy and how his elbow just barely brushed her arm so as to give her goosebumps and how his cologne made her swoon as he leaned over and mentioned something about the plot (without actually hearing what he had said), and swings the door open.

He stands in the doorway, smiling his soft smile and hanging his hands by his sides. He is typically so fidgety, so to see him do nothing means something is up. A warm breeze blows over them, wafting his cologne in her direction and making her knees weak.

"I know we go to different colleges, but I really want to make a long-distance thing work," he says quietly, looking into her eyes and searching for a sign of agreement.

Just a few days prior, they were at the beach, walking back to his car as a summer rain rolled in from the west and merged with the crashing waves upon the shoreline. The warm droplets, little beads of sunshine, coursed through their hair and down their bodies as they walked through the sand, so deep in conversation that the rain went unnoticed. It would be several months later when he would tell her that it was that summer rain, the way she walked through it without a care in the world, focusing only on him and laughing the whole way... that he had fallen in love.

She can feel her body quake and prays that he can't see by the light of the moon shining through the open door. After some hesitation, she raises her head and locks eyes with his: "I was thinking the same thing."

A huge smile spreads over his face as he cups her face in his hands and kisses her quivering lips.

As she floats from the front door back to her bedroom, the sound of his car unconsciously registering in her brain, she catches sight of the red numbers again: 2:11am. This time, the number is burned into her memory forever. The number -- and the kiss -- that changes her life.



Today is Matt's and my six-year dating anniversary. Every year, on 25 June at 2:11am, we celebrate with a kiss, reminiscent of our first one in my parents' doorway. This year, we'll be sharing a kiss as husband and wife. :)

Happy anniversary, baby. I love you.

Letter To My Teenage Angst: 10-Year Time Capsule

Hi there, hon. Please... put that down for just a second and listen. I promise these words offer hope.

You're in a terrible place right now, I know it. You're struggling with who you are as a person, as a daughter, as a friend, and as a child on the brink of adulthood. You have these grand ambitions and ideas for your life, but you feel inhibited by fears and doubts.

I'll tell you right now, this road won't be easy. In fact, you'll contemplate picking that back up again, making sure you neither have a racing or horrible thought nor a shred of doubt ever again.

Let me tell you something, though. I've lived the next ten years of your life, gone down every road imaginable and landed in a place that you and I have never imagined. Can you believe that, ten years from now, you'll be solid in your faith? Sure, you might feel like there's more to learn, but there always is, and you're going to find pleasure in learning those things. And even better, you won't be doubted anymore for your faith. I know that's hard to believe now, but...



Well, let me back up (or, in your case, fast forward) to just before your 26th birthday. It's Halloween, Samhain, a time for rebirth. You're standing at an altar, across from your soon-to-be husband, with a cantor who is blending your two faiths in a way that makes those watching speechless from the beauty contained in your ceremony and your vows. You're taking people's breaths away with each smile, each twinkle in your eye, each time you or your soon-to-be husband grab each other's hands as you profess your love.



And would you believe it? Your parents are standing there with you! Not just among the crowd, but at your side, shedding happy tears of their own as their daughter is joined with the love of her life in a combined Jewish-Pagan wedding ceremony. Complete with handfasting and broom hop! Bet you never saw that coming, huh?



In fact, there are lots of cool things going on in your life! You will successfully graduate from college, you have a wonderful career as a paralegal (even if your attorney drives you nuts sometimes...), you live in Maryland of all places (and yes, the snow does suck, but it's also magical in its own way), you write a blog that gives you joy, and you own a house with your husband! Pretty cool!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Unfortunately, no, you still won't have a motorcycle. ;)"][/caption]

Not to say that there weren't hardships to get to this point. You'll be brought to hell and back by someone who disrespects you as a person and, more specifically, as a naive young woman. You'll sink further as you hide this from family and friends, and even further as you're accused of actually wanting this uninvited attention. It will literally take years of heartache, hours of therapy, and surprise encounters until you're able to share.

You'll also have enlightening yet terrifying experiences in which you discover who you are, especially when it comes to mental health. There is, in fact, a reason for these irrational, racing, fear-fraught thoughts and feelings. With answers comes understanding, and with understanding comes the fear that you can't overcome it. I promise you can, but I also promise it's going to be a daily struggle.

Fortunately, it gets better from there.



In fact, everything after that point is no longer an uphill battle -- it'll be as so the hand of the goddess herself has lifted you from your misery and placed you back on solid ground, with everything suddenly figured out. You will have learned great lessons these next ten years of your life, and you will use those lessons to connect to others and love others in a way you never thought possible. You'll have wonderful, fulfilling relationships with everyone around you; successes that make your family and yourself proud; and just... okay, I don't want to spoil it. But trust me, you will be loving it.

So please, I beg you again... put that down. This time, for more than a second. For you have millions of them left to live. :D

---------------

This post brought to you by the lovely women and contributors at The Lightning and The Lightning-Bug. Head on over to check out more incredible posts!



This week's prompt:

Write a letter to yourself at age sixteen. What might you tell your sixteen year-old self? Would you warn yourself not to make a certain mistake? Would you ask yourself to treasure being young? Would you tell yourself how much you've changed? You can write the letter from your present self, or from someone else entirely. Feel free to take this in an unexpected direction. Good luck!

What OCD is... and isn't.

I feel like this post is a long time coming. I have several other versions of this in draft, but none of them seemed to really convey what I've wanted to say about obsessive-compulsive disorder without getting kind of cryptic or without a ridiculous amount of uncomfortableness.

But there was recently a catalyst.

See, people have this incredible habit of taking mundane situations or little quirks in their lives and using a condition (a mental one, more often than not) to describe them, often without knowing the effects and complications of the condition itself. "Bipolar" is one example, as in, "This weather is so bipolar!", as are "depressed" and "maniacal."

Oh yeah, and OCD, which is a favored way of describing a personal oddity. In this specific instance, it was a LiveJournal thread wherein a girl felt it was "An OCD Tendency Of [Hers]" to capitalize every word of a sentence. Never mind that the rest of the post and her comments were all grammatically incorrect in some way or another (your/you're, people, please!), which would typically drive someone with OCD batshit.

Well, allow me to tell you what OCD is really like. Rather than give personal experience right off the bat, here is first some information on how OCD can affect the sufferer, and how anxiety can become a daily and very real part of life.



Only a trained mental health professional can diagnose someone with OCD. S/He will look for obsessions a person may have, the compulsions to combat these obsessions (whether external and/or, in the case of pure-O OCD, internal), and that these obsessions and compulsions are impeding on daily life.

Obsessions:

• Thoughts, images, or impulses that occur over and over again and feel out of the person’s control.


• The person does not want to have these ideas.


• He or she finds them disturbing and unwanted, and usually knows that they don't make sense.


• They come with uncomfortable feelings, such as fear, disgust, doubt, or a feeling that things have to be done in a way that is "just right."


• They take a lot of time and get in the way of important activities the person values (socializing, working, going to school, etc.).

What Obsessions are not…

• It is normal to have occasional thoughts about getting sick or about the safety of loved ones.

Compulsions:

• Repetitive behaviors or thoughts that a person engages in
  to neutralize, counteract, or make their obsessions go away.


• People with OCD realize this is only a temporary solution, but without a better way to cope they rely on the compulsion as a temporary escape.


• Can also include avoiding situations that trigger their obsessions.


• Time consuming and get in the way of important activities the person values (socializing, working, going to school, etc.).

What Compulsions are not…

• Not all repetitive behaviors or “rituals” are compulsions. Bedtime routines, religious practices, and learning a new skill involve repeating an activity over and over again, but are a welcome part of daily life.


• Behaviors depend on the context: Arranging and ordering DVDs for eight hours a day isn’t a compulsion if the person works in a video store.

For pure-O sufferers, the fears, compulsions, and obsessions tend to stem from situations out of one's control, such as preventing loved ones from being in car crashes or from your home being robbed while you're at work.

Unwanted, Intrusive Thought (compare with Obsession)

• “You’re going to fall and die”

Reflexive Mental and Physical Reaction (compare with Compulsion)

• “No... have to keep balanced... must go slowly... must try to stay calm... need to focus straight ahead... must take deep breaths... need to use arms for control...”

Fear of Losing Control (compare with Obsession)

• “But that huge drop... you can feel your balance wavering... your mind’s eye can see you tumbling... you can feel yourself being drawn towards the edge...”

Reflexive Mental and Physical Reaction (compare with Compulsion)

• “No... can’t happen... have to hang on... need to fight for life... need to kneel down so can’t fall... must crawl... need to look away from the drop... need to regain control...”

The following are examples (definitely not exhaustive!) of how compulsions can be exhibited in someone with pure-O OCD:

Compulsions

• feel and act upon repeated need to count to a preferred, “safe” number


• feel and act upon repeated need to cancel a thought before a moving object goes out of sight


• feel and act upon repeated need to fight for a “good” or “safe” thought before breaking a hug


• feel and act upon repeated need to hold breath/not swallow when looking at a feared thing


• feel and act upon repeated need to think “NO!” or to recite a “safe” word or phrase to oneself


• feel and act upon repeated need to “check” and reaffirm feelings for a partner


• feel and act upon repeated need to undo/redo what was being done when had intrusive thought


• feel and act upon repeated need to plead “why me?” and wish, literally, for the thoughts to stop


• feel and act upon repeated need to check, test & challenge that the unwanted thought isn’t true

Looking at these lists, you can see why some people will categorize some of the strange things they do as "OCD tendencies." When digging deeper, though, the strange things are actually based on preference rather than an inexplicable need to do them in order to stop obsessions.



What's the big deal? you might be thinking. After all, people have thoughts every day they don't want to have, things that they do repetitively they don't want to do. But there is a difference between simply not wanting or not doing, and feeling an insatiable need to do such things.

Let me finally give you a personal example. One of my obsessions is of death: The fear of, the downpour of images relating to (graveyards, caskets, hearses, funerals), the lack of knowledge as to what life is like after, the way loved ones will be affected in the future by (which is, in my opinion, the most terrifying).

Sure, everyone worries about this kind of thing. But when your brain acts as a broken faucet that just won't turn off, pouring out images and words and terrible scenarios and gods know what else, your anxiety levels can go through the roof.

There have been times when I've bolted straight out of bed with a panic attack, overtaken by the fear and anxiety and feeling of absolute dread from one thought that permanently let the faucet pour at high volume. Nights like that, I am often up until daybreak pacing the house with tensed muscles and a racing thoughts, talking myself down, trying to rationalize, and desperately seeking a way to separate body from mind.

So when I see people trivializing an actual mental illness by calling their little quirks or habits or some other thing in their life as OCD, I can't help but bristle and think, If only you knew.

It's absolutely horrifying, y'all. I'm not talking about simple fears (as we all have them and we all avoid them to the best of our ability) or little quirks; I'm talking about the inability to escape your fears, especially when some of those fears are baseless. Can you imagine running away from a demon you cannot see, feel, or otherwise experience, knowing full well it's not actually there while still feeling as though it will come after you any moment?

Theological Thursday: Pagan goodies and tchotchkes

I've been following Pagan Blog Prompts for a while, and though I just finished a whole series on a Sabbat, I figured... why not one more Pagan-related post this week. Ooh, and it's Theological Thursday, yay!

This one is inspired by the blog mentioned above, wherein they ask a question regarding shopping for your magickal tools and other tchotchkes (I love that word, it makes you think of little hard-to-find collectibles):

When it comes to shopping for pagan items, or items that will be used in a pagan manner, where do you shop? Do you look for retailers that are geared toward the pagan community? Or would you rather find something simple from the discount store down the street?

Do you support any pagan-based small businesses? Do you even know of a pagan shop in your town?

Feel free to expand...

Let's be honest: We just don't make enough money to buy every Pagan good we'd like to afford. Or, at least, I don't. I'd love to have $25 to blow on a new Tarot deck, or a new altar cloth, or anything else that I might want for my practice and that supports a local Pagan business. The markups? They're rather ridiculous!

Most of my Pagan goods actually come from thrift shops and repurposing things around the house. The decor for my Ostara altar? A feather boa my mom used for my bridal shower. My altar itself? A great find from a local garage sale. The candleholders that shine tealight flames? Bought 'em used off a Pagan friend.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="405" caption="Well, okay, there's no boa in this picture. But I guarantee, there was one! A fluffy white one!"][/caption]

I honestly wish that I could afford to support local Pagan businesses, and when I do have the funds, I try my best to do so. (The pentacle disk on my altar is from a Pagan shop in Tallahassee!) Most of the time, though, my altar supplies, books, and other tools come secondhand.

There ARE online retailers, though, that have amazing Pagan goods at great prices, like Pagan Stuff Cheap. Her stuff is absolutely fantastic and affordable! If you're looking for an independent Pagan business with the ability to deliver darn near anywhere, I'd check it out.



Anyway, the act of buying secondhand actually suits me quite well! I'm a huge fan of reusing items, and if it means saving one more thing from the landfills and giving it new life, I'm all for it. ;)

How about y'all? Where do you get your ritual, altar, and other magickal supplies?

Litha In A Week: Ritual and Celebration

Blessed Litha, everyone! :)

In celebration, I thought I'd offer up some rituals and celebrations you can incorporate into your day! From mundane activities to full-out circle-castin' ritual, make every step of your day (and life) a magickal one.

The Lesser Sabbats (equinoxes and solstices), of which Litha is one, are a great time to think about changes to be made in your life; as they mark the changing of the seasons, so do they mark periods where we learn what changes we've made and what we plan for the future.

Celebrations

Get Back to Nature

Go for a hike and explore the world around you! If you have children, prepare a scavenger hunt where they collect different items from their surroundings (though be sure not to collect live plants out of respect). They might even want to take photos of what they find!

Body Movin'!

Host a drum circle or a Spiral dance, something to get your body moving. It's a great activity for larger groups, and you can raise of ton of energy this way. Be sure to provide refreshments after such an activity -- they tend to be draining, and some lemonade and fresh hummus with pita points do wonders.

Charitable Acts

Let the light of the sun shine through you as you help others. Donate clothes, food, and other necessities to homeless shelters. Do something for charity works. Plan a neighborhood or beach cleanup. Donate your time and efforts to a local children's hospital. Whatever you do, make sure the intent is to make the world a better place.

Host a BBQ

4 July is right around the corner for those of us in the US, so fire up that barbeque and get grilling! Decorate your home and outdoors with colors of the sun, and feast on lots of summery foods like watermelon, strawberries, and fresh green salads. Organize games like volleyball, Frisbee, and Red Rover to get people -- especially kids -- outdoors and enjoying the sunlight. Water sports are definitely good, too, with water balloons and super soakers!

Honor the Season

And of course, there are your rituals and prayers to recognize the sun and the gods of the season. Set up your altar with symbols of the season like candles, fruits and vegetables, and appropriate colors. You may also wish to perform one of the rituals detailed below!

Rituals

Journal Ritual

Obviously, I enjoy writing, finding it cathartic and relaxing in this busy world in which we live. Since you all are reading, I'm guessing you like to write, too! I also imagine that many of you, while we would prefer it this way, don't have easy access to privacy, space, or resources to hold a full-on ritual. It can feel like you're stuck doing nothing at all to celebrate, and that sucks!

This ritual, called the Journal Ritual, is a great way to escape for just a bit and even afford yourself much-needed privacy: It's funny, people tend to interrupt prayers, meditation, and reading, but it's not often someone is interrupted while writing.

So grab your journal! It can be a handwritten journal or your laptop; the intent is what's important. Find a comfortable spot and get settled. If desired, light a candle or some incense.

Then consider what you want to accomplish during your ritual. Are you celebrating a Sabbat? Looking to offer thanks to Spirit? Perform some bit of magick? Whatever your intent, gather those thoughts, then allow yourself to write what you are thinking.

As the sun sets on this solstice, Litha, I am reminded that the light that shone for the longest this day also shines within my heart. Tonight I honor the gods and goddesses of Litha, those who bless our lives with their own light, love, and gifts of creativity, for everything they have provided me. I also honor the bounty of Mother Earth, which nourishes my body as well as my soul.

Whatever you write, imagine a full ritual playing out on the pages. You may include casting a circle, lighting candles, or even chants if you want. You might find yourself entering a trance-like state as you write (I won't lie, it's a pretty cool feeling). When the writing has come to an end, your ritual will have completed, and you may close the book.



Solitary Litha Ritual

Like many of you, I imagine, I'm a solitary practitioner. There are some times when I might join a group for different activities, but much of my worship and reverence is done on my own. To that end, here are some solitary Litha rituals for you to do! You may take, leave, combine, and otherwise incorporate any of the elements in these rituals to create your own.

• Litha Ritual of the Summer Solstice (The Cauldron Pagan Forum)


• My Solitary Litha Ritual (Witchery: Trapped In the Broom Closet)


• Solitary Activities for Litha (College Wicca)


• Solitary Midsummer/Litha/Summer Solstice Ritual (The Wiccan Life)


• Wiccan Litha/Summer Solstice/Midsummer Sabbat Solitary Ritual Guide (The Wiccan Way)

Litha Fire Ritual

This ritual can be held in a group or solitary. If working with a group, assign "roles" and what to say ahead of time. This is best performed outside, but can be done indoors as well!

(Personally, I'll be doing this ritual myself in a solitary fashion. It's one of my favorites. :))

If your tradition requires casting a circle, consecrating a space, or calling the quarters, do so now. You may want to assign different people to each quarter or to each method of casting.

Begin by preparing wood for a fire, but don't light it yet. If you can't have a huge bonfire (which is preferred and oh-so-cool), use a tabletop cauldron or fire-safe pot, and prepare the fire in there instead.

Say:

Today, to celebrate Midsummer, [I/we] honor the Earth itself. [I/we] [am/are] surrounded by tall trees. There is a clear sky above [me/us] and cool dirt beneath [me/us], and [I/we] [am/are] connected to all three. [I/we] light this fire as the Ancients did so long ago.

(Continue [I/we] and so forth as necessary.)

Start your fire, then say:

The Wheel of the Year has turned once more. The light has grown for six short months... until today.

Today is Litha, called Midsummer or Solstice by my ancestors.
A time for celebration.
Tomorrow the light will begin to fade
As the Wheel of the Year
Turns on and ever on.

Turn to the East and say:

From the East comes the wind,
Cool and clear.
It brings new seeds to the garden
Bees to the pollen,
And birds to the trees.

Turn to the South and say:

The sun rises high in the summer sky
And lights our way even into the night.
Today the sun casts three rays:
The light of fire upon the land, the sea, and the heavens.

Turn to the West and say:

From the West, the mist rolls in,
Bringing rain and fog,
The life-giving water without which
We would cease to be.

Finally, turn to the North and say:

Beneath my feet is the Earth,
Soil dark and fertile,
The womb in which life begins
And will later die, then return anew.

After this, build up your fire even more, until you have a good strong blaze going.

If you wish to make an offering to the gods, now would be a good time for it. You may cast your offering into the fire after saying:

Midsummer is a time of rededication
To the gods. The triple goddess watches over me.
She is known by many names:
She is the Morrighan, Brighid, Cerridwen.
She is the washer at the ford,
She is the guardian of the hearth,
She is the one who stirs the cauldron of inspiration.
I give honor to You, O mighty ones,
By all your names, known and unknown.
Bless me with Your wisdom
And give life and abundance to me
As the sun gives life and abundance to the Earth.

I make this offering to you
To show my allegiance,
To show my honor,
To show my dedication
To You.

Conclude your ritual by saying:

Today, at Litha, I celebrate the life
And love of the gods
And of the Earth and Sun.

Take a few moments to reflect on what you have offered and what gifts of the gods means to you. When you are ready, break down your circle, release the quarters, and anything else as your tradition dictates. Allow the fire to burn out on its own.

Litha In A Week: Crafts and Goodies

For today's Litha In A Week, I'm also setting up a linkup where you can link to your own crafts and Litha goodies! If you want to participate, I'll have it at the end of this post. :) Looking forward to your submissions!

Here are some great craft ideas to get your Litha kicked off in a festive and creative way! These crafts, unless otherwise indicated, are great for kids, too, so be sure to get them in on the action.

Sundial

(or a really mini Stonehenge!)

Harness the power of the sun to tell time in your own backyard, and even teach your kids about science while you play! This craft is fascinating on its own, and it adds a new level when you create it yourself. "That's right, I can tell time in my own backyard... without a watch. What's your superpower?!"

You will need:

* a pole or straight stick (make it extra fun and go nature-hunting for one!)
* several large stones
* a clock or watch to calibrate your sundial

Method:

1. Find a place in your backyard that gets sun for most of the day, and erect the pole/stick straight up in the earth. (If you don't have a backyard, erecting the pole/stick in a small pot with clay or dirt will keep it up.)

2. Keep an eye on the clock, and at each hour, place a stone where the shadow falls. It's ideal to start this in the morning, but no matter when you start, be sure to get the morning hours, too!

3. When all daytime hours are marked, you're ready to tell time!

If you leave this assembled throughout the year, you'll notice that the times "shift" as the earth rotates on her axis. Use this as a great way to teach kids about the earth's movement in the universe, the sun's impact on the sun, and maybe even mark out times during different times of the year using different colored stones.

Handfasting Basket

For those special people in your life who are celebrating this life event!

When Matt and I married last Samhain, we incorporated a handfasting into the ceremony, wherein our hands were literally tied together in a series of knots to symbolize each vow made to one another.

Most couples preparing for a handfasting prefer to have their ceremony around Litha, as it's a great time to celebrate love and marriage (see my last post about Juno, one of the goddesses of this Sabbat). This project is wonderful when celebrating a couple's handfasting, whether it's the day of or their year-and-a-day celebration!

You will need:

* a basket of any size and type
* fabric to line the inside (choose romantic summer colors like yellow, red, flower patterns, and so forth)
* ribbon (again, in romantic summer colors)
* silk flowers
* florist's wire
* glue (hot glue gun is probably the best)
* thirteen items as "blessings" to fill the basket (more later!)

Method:

1. Place the basket on a flat surface, and use the fabric to line the inside. You can glue the fabric at certain points to keep it stable, with a bit over the edge as an overhang.

2. Cut a piece of ribbon about three times the length of the basket's handle, then weave it around the handle, gluing at points to keep it stable. Trim off any excess. You may use more than one ribbon -- get creative!

3. Add some small silk flowers to the handle of the basket for additional prettiness. These can be glued on or secured with florist's wire.

4. Think about the couple being handfast! What do you know about them? How are they as a couple? Are they really traditional, or are they silly? Consider these when choosing what to place in the basket as blessings.

Thirteen Blessings

Fill the basket with things that symbolize their relationship. You want to have thirteen that are meaningful. Small trinkets often work the best so they can hang them up later, but use your imagination and don't feel limited!

Here are some ideas to get you started:

• A sun, symbolizing the strength and sturdiness of the male partner


• A moon, representing the woman, beautiful and mysterious*


• A cat, to guard the hearth and home


• A dog, to offer loyalty and protection


• An owl, for wisdom


• A star, for the dreams of the future


• A clock, to remind them that time is valuable


• An acorn, for strength and longevity


• A butterfly, for all the summers they will be together


• A car, for the journey they're about to embark on


• A house, so they have a place to return


• A pinecone, for prosperity and abundance


• A heart, for the love that brought them together

* Of course, for a same-sex couple, it's entirely appropriate to have two moons or two suns.

5. While filling the basket, send positive thoughts into it and into each item. If you like, this can be turned into a small ritual! Charge the basket by focusing your intent into a simple couplet, such as:

This basket of gifts I give from the heart
with blessings for [name] and [name]'s handfasting.
With these treasures I offer you joy, and hope,
and happiness and love everlasting.

6. You may also want to include a note with this blessing and/or an explanation of what each item represents. May they always have these thirteen blessings in their relationship!

Litha Fire Incense

Hopefully your herb gardens are in full bloom, and are enjoying the warming rays of the sun! If you have any around, now would be a great time to gather and dry them for this traditional loose incense for Midsummer.

Loose incense is a bit different from cones or sticks, as they are simply dried herbs tossed over hot charcoals to produce a delightful aroma. Since we're looking for a blend to celebrate Litha's strength and sun, this will be a very fiery incense, indeed!

You will need:

* 3 parts myrrh
* 1 part apple blossoms
* 1/2 part bay leaves
* 1/2 part cinnamon bark
* 1 part chamomile flowers
* 1 part lavender flowers
* 2 parts mugwort
* 1/2 part rosemary

Method:

1. Add your ingredients to your mixing bowl one at a time. If your ingredients need to be crushed, a mortar and pestle is great for this!

2. As you blend your herbs together, state your intent and, if you desire, charge the incense with an incantation:

Balance of the heavens and earth below,
The power of the sun in this incense grows.
Cinnamon, mugwort, apple and bay,
Fire and water, on this longest day.
Herbs of power, blended by me,
As I will, so it shall be.

Your incense will keep best stored in a tightly-sealed jar, oddly enough kept in a cool, dry place. Use within three months so it stays fresh!

Bird House

Invite little chirping ones to your home with this easy birdhouse idea... made from a gourd!

You will need:

* gourd (these can be grown yourself, but you can also buy them online)
* sandpaper
* paints and paintbrushes (acrylics work really well!)
* drill with bits
* jute or twine for hanging
* matte spray varnish
* birdseed (I imagine that finch seed would work best)

Method:

1. Clean and sand a dried gourd. With the drill, drill two small holes at the top, large enough to thread the jute or twine through. Drill a larger hole to act as a hole for the birds.

2. Using the paints (and your kids' imaginations!), go to town, decorating with symbols, colors, and smiles for the season. Birds, bees, suns, and other things of nature are fun to add.

3. Allow the paint to dry, then cover with a coat of matte spray varnish. Allow to dry yet again.

4. Thread the jute or twine through the top holes, and tie to create a hanging. Fill with birdseed, and have your kids hang it in a local tree to feed the birdies!

Litha Lavender Dream Pillow

I looove dream pillows. Not only are they incredibly fun to make, they also smell lovely! This can be fun with kids, too, but be sure you're the one handling the needle and thread. ;)

You will need:

* rectangle of fabric in a color of your choosing (lavender is nice, as is white... but let your intuition guide you!)
* stuffing to fill the pillow
* matching thread and a needle (or, if you're like my mom, a sewing machine!)
* herbs to fill the pillow (lavender is obviously one, but you can choose other fragrant herbs, too)

Method:

1. Fold the fabric over to create a square, and sew up three of the four edges. You want to leave one to fill your pillow. Turn inside out so the seams are on the inside.

2. Stuff the pillow with the stuffing and herbs, interchanging the two as you go along. Kids will find sprinkling in (and sometimes taking a huge whiff of) the herbs a ton of fun.

3. When finished, sew up the final side. You can also decorate at this point with acrylic paints and anything else to make your pillow your own.

4. Take the pillow to bed with you, either under your own pillow or as something to snuggle and lull you to sleep.



Don't forget to link up!! :)

Litha In A Week: Customs and Correspondences

Litha is a time to celebrate both work and leisure, a time for children and for childlike play. (Remember when I told y'all the other day to go run in the sprinklers? Yup, Litha's all about that feeling!) There are certain customs by region and correspondences associated with Litha, and you'll notice that they all point to the celebration of the sun's warming rays and the Earth's endless bounty.

Customs

England

In some parts of England, if you stay up all night on Midsummer's Eve in the middle of a stone circle, you can see the Fae. If you intend to try this, be sure to carry a bit of rue in your pocket to keep them at bay, or turn your jacket inside out to confuse them. In modern practices, should you need to escape the Fey (you had your jacket on the right way and didn't carry rue, didn't you!), you can take a ley line to lead you to safety.



Rural villagers also built a huge bonfire to "set the watch" and keep evil spirits out of the town. Some farmers would light the bonfire, and villagers would arrive with torches and lanterns lit by these fires and spread the flames around the town. Jumping over one of these fires (provided your backside makes it through without burning!) ensured good luck for the coming year.

Ireland

If you wish for something to happen, residents of Ireland will tell you to "give it to the pebble" by carrying a pebble as you circle a Litha bonfire, whispering your request to the stone. After your third turn around the fire, toss it into the flames. This custom can also be extended to throwing similarly-blessed stones into moving bodies of water.



Wales

Sunwheels, a wheel or big ol' ball of straw lit on fire and rolled down hills into rivers, were used to celebrate Midsummer in Wales and other areas. Accordingly, if the fire went out before the wheel hit the water, a good crop was guaranteed during the season. Imagine having to dodge one of those suckers!



Modern Wicca

The morning after Litha, when the fires have burned out and the ashes are cold, they could be used as protective amulets by being carried in small pouches or kneaded into soft clay to form a talisman. Some Wiccan traditions believe that the Midsummer ashes will protect you from misfortune. The ashes can also be mixed in with your garden as a natural fertilizer and to guarantee bountiful crops through the summer.

Astrologically speaking, the sun is entering Cancer, a water sign. Midsummer is a time for fire magick, which may seem a little counterintuitive... but no worries, it's a time for water magick, too! Sacred streams and holy wells are exceptionally powerful sources this time of year, and should be visited just before sunrise on Litha from the wast, with the rising sun. Circle the well or spring three times, walking deosil (sunwise or clockwise), and make offerings of silver coins or pins.



If you're looking to get rid of problems during Litha, write them on a piece of paper and drop them into a moving body of water at Litha. (It's best to use ecologically-friendly, biodegradable paper and ink for this purpose, of course. Remember, Mother Earth deserves utmost respect!)

Correspondences

Short List of Customs

• bonfires, needfires, and jumping between two fires


• procesions


• vigils that last all night


• singing, feasting, and celebrating with others


• cutting divining rods, dowsing rods, and wands


• gathering herbs


• handfastings and weddings


• gathering of mistletoe in oak groves (Druid) (for protection)


• women walking naked through gardens to ensure fertility


• honoring the Earth Mother's fullness, richness, and abundance


• placing garlands of St. John's wort over doors and windows, and a sprig in the car for protection

Gemstones

• lapiz lazuli


• diamond


• tiger's eye


• emerald (and other green gemstones)


• jade (again, and other green gemstones)

Herbs

• anise


• mugwort


• chamomile


• rose


• wild rose


• oak blossoms


• lily


• cinquefoil


• lavender


• fennel


• elder


• mistletoe


• hemp


• thyme


• larkspur


• nettle


• wisteria


• vervain (verbena)


• St. John's wort


• heartsease


• rue


• fern


• wormwood


• pine


• heather


• yarrow


• oak and holly trees

Incenses and Oils

• heliotrope


• saffron


• orange


• frankincense & myrrh


• wisteria


• cinnamon


• mint


• rose


• lemon


• lavender


• sandalwood


• pine

Foods*

• honey


• fresh summer fruits and vegetables


• lemons


• oranges


• summer squash


• pumpernickel bread


• ale


• carrots


• mead

*And y'all know I'll go into greater detail about this later! ;)

Father's Day reflections

I never really had the greatest relationship with my dad. It was filled with awkwardness, timidity, and what I felt was a hint of disapproval. After all, I'm likely not at all what he expected I'd grow up to be -- I'm of a different faith, I married someone he initially hated, I'm not a professional musician. There are many times I thought that I disappointed him.

It's partly my fault, too, because I'm not a terribly emotional person. While I love my dad, our past has led me to keep him at arm's length at the very least, and I feel that had a significant impact on our relationship. Sometimes I wish that I could be, as many of my friends put their own fathers, "Daddy's little girl." Dad stopped being "Daddy" ages ago; there are home videos where I'm really young and already referring to him as "Dad."

But at Matt's and my wedding, I saw a side of him I had only seen once or twice in my past, like when he dropped me off at Florida State for college. He was emotional, supportive, and smiling in a way I hadn't seen in ages. He gave the most touching toast, and I realized then that yes, he does love me, and he will always be supportive. It may not be outwardly so, but I know that, in his heart, he feels more than he lets on. It's sometimes hard for me to acknowledge and feel because of our past, but we both couldn't help but cry that day.

And now I sit here, tears welling up in my eyes because I'm so fortunate to have seen that side, to know that it exists despite our rocky relationship throughout my childhood. Better late than never. :)

Happy Father's Day, everyone. Especially to my own father.

Litha In A Week: Gods and Goddesses

As we discussed a couple days ago, Litha is a time to celebrate the abundance and beauty of the Earth as she is warmed by the light of the sum. Accordingly, the gods and goddesses of this Sabbat particularly emphasize the solar aspect, including pregnant goddesses who have been blessed with fertility. Below is a (very!) short list of recognized sun deities revered around the world.

Apollo

Apollo (Ἀπόλλων) is a multi-faceted Greek god of the sun, music, medicine, and healing, among others, and a direct descendant of Zeus by Leto. His popularity grew as worship of him spread through the Roman empire (with no direct Roman equivalent, though later Roman poets often referred to him as Phoebus) and into the British Isles, where he took on many aspects of Celtic deities, such as Apollo Belenus (literally "bright" or "brilliant") of Gaul, northern Italy, and Noricum.

One of the most important and diverse of the Olympian deities, Apollo was an oracular god -- he was seen as the bringer and blesser of truth and prophecy. He actually has two cult sites dedicated to him at Delos and Delphi, and other notable oracular shrines in Clarus and Branchidae, among others.



Likely the most recognizable aspect of Apollonian statutes is his lyre, an instrument that Apollo fell in love with after its creator, Hermes, began to play. Being a god of music, it was no wonder that he became a master of the lyre shortly afterward, playing in several music contests with the likes of Pan, Marsyas, and Cinyras.

Hestia

Another Greek deity! The virginal daughter of Cronus and Rhea, Hestia watched over domesticity and the family, and was honored with the first offering at any sacrifice made in the home. Because of her devotion to her hearthkeeping duties, she always managed to stay out of much of the drama surrounding other Greek deities.



That doesn't mean she never attracted drama, though. She took her virginity role very seriously, and in one legend, the lustful god Priapus tried to take advantage of her by creeping into her bed, planning on raping Hestia. As he sneaked in, a donkey brayed loud enough to wake the goddess from her sleep, and she let out a scream loud enough to wake the other Olympians.

Hestia was always hospitable, though, taking in strangers without offense and giving sanctuary to female guests so they would not be violated. Those who are called to serve Hestia were obligated to provide shelter and food to anyone truly in need. It is no wonder, then, that her symbol is a lamp with a perpetual flame, always a guide to those in need.

Lugh

Focus on the arts and of music seem to be common themes during Litha, as Lugh, a god of the Celtic people, is yet another who was a god of skill and distribution of talent. While not a god specifically of war, he was also known as a skilled warrior who wielded a magic spear so powerful and bloodthirsty, it often tried to fight without its owner. In parts of Ireland, when a thunderstorm rolls in from the horizon, the locals say that he and Balor are sparring... giving Lugh yet another role, that of god of storms.

If it seems like he is a jack of all trades that is master of none, you'd be sorely wrong. In fact, legend has it that Lugh arrives at Tara, the hall of the high kings of Ireland, to be admitted. The guard tells him that only one person of each particular skill will be admitted: Blacksmith, wheelwright, bard, and so forth. Lugh enumerates all the great things he can do, to which the guard replies each time, "Sorry, we've already got someone here who can do that." Finally, Lugh asks, "Ah, but do you have anyone here who can do them all?"

Needless to say, he was allowed entrance into Tara.



In modern times, Pagans and Wiccans honor Lugh as the champion of artistry and skill, and artisans, musicians, bards, and crafters all invoke Lugh when they need creative assistance.

Lugh is also celebrated on Lughnasadh, his own holiday and harvest feast on 1 August. As with all other Sabbats, I will have more on him and his festival the week beforehand!

Juno and Vesta

Let's wrap up with two popular Roman goddesses for the summer Solstice. Juno watched over women and marriage, while Vesta was the protector of the hearth and of virginity. Together, these two goddesses were incredibly sacred to Roman women.

The month of June was named for Juno, despite her festival, Matronalia, being celebrated in March. As a goddess of marriage, her month is for weddings and handfastings, and she is often honored by those who are about to embark on that life stage. During Matronalia, women also received gifts from their husbands and daughters.



Vesta also had her own holiday, Vestalia, celebrated from 7-15 June and a time for the inner sanctum of the Vestal Temple to be opened for women to visit and make offerings to the goddess. A sacred flame burned within the Temple, and the Vestales, Vestal Virgins, would swear thirty-year vows of chastity. One of the best known Vestales was Rhea Silvia, who broke her vows with the god Mars, and conceived twins Romulus and Remus.

Litha In A Week: A History of Litha

Can you believe it? Litha's coming up in one short week! It really sneaked up on me this year, and between everything going on in life and things still to come, I feel ill-prepared this year.

But that doesn't mean you should feel the same! ;)

Just like last Sabbat, when I talked about Beltane the week before the actual holiday, I'll be doing a week-long series on Litha: Its history, gods and goddesses, practices, ritual outlines, recipe ideas, and so forth.

So let's get this week kicked off with some history, shall we?



Litha is one of two solstices in the Wheel of the Year, celebrated around 20-22 June (this year, it falls on 21 June), on a day where the sun reaches its peak in the sky. The longest day of the year, it can appear on this day as if the sun were just hanging in the sky without moving. Appropriately, the word "solstice", from the Latin solstitium, literally means "sun stands still."

Whether this holiday was celebrated by ancient civilizations is still up for debate among modern Wiccans and Pagans, creating some pretty interesting discourse that either support or reject Litha... or regard it with a shrug of their shoulders. We can blame Gerald Gardner, the founder of modern Wicca, for these heated debates: He asserts that the solar festivals (which would include Litha, Mabon, Yule, and Ostara) were actually added later and imported from the Middle East.

Regardless, though, there exists some scholarly evidence that Midsummer was celebrated, and many Wiccans and Pagans do celebrate Litha every June.

I'll go further into the mythology surrounding Litha in a later post (when gods and goddesses of the solstice will be the focus), but in brief, some Paganism traditions tell the story of the discord between light and darkness, where the Oak King is defeated by the Holly King in an epic battle to rule the seasons.



With the Holly King comes a time of brightness and warmth, where the Earth basks in the sun's glow and, in return, she blesses us with growing life and seemingly endless bounty.

But this brightness is not simply limited to that seen in nature, but also seen within ourselves. Litha is a wonderful time to discover one's own inner power and brightness, to reflect on the balance of light and dark in the world and within ourselves, and to find ways in which we can share our inner light with others.

As to what you can do during this holiday? Head outside! No matter what you do -- a barbeque or big ol' bonfire, running through sprinklers (go on, you know you want to feel like you're a kid again!), swimming in a local lake or pool, lighting fireworks when the sun retreats -- know that this day is for sharing, feeling, and experiencing the light!