Theological Thursday: Thoughts on The Circle Within (Dianne Sylvan)

I've surprised myself recently.

When Matt, my mom, and I were at Borders this past weekend (the one near my parents' house is going out of business, so their books were 30-40% off -- it was like Christmas came early!), I picked up a copy of Dianne Sylvan's The Circle Within. I already owned and have read her book Body Sacred (several times, I might add), and I really wanted to see what this was all about.

First, I should share a little something about my current spirituality, especially since some of you here are new or newer. I was raised in the Catholic faith, and was baptized, had my first Communion, and was Confirmed in the faith. At 13, I learned of Wicca through a former friend when she lent me Silver RavenWolf's To Ride a Silver Broomstick (I know, I know... $RW... but we all start somewhere, right?), and something just clicked. I had been unhappy and faltering in my Catholicism for years before that, going as far as to ask my mom why God couldn't be a woman. It didn't make sense to me then, but poring through that book, it felt as though I had come home.

I've come a long way since then, at least I'd like to think. I was a pretty active, if closeted, Wiccan from 13 through college, trying to get my footing in an uncertain world with little to no guidance. I dabbled in different faiths at that time as well (especially in college) by trying out a United Methodist church, attending Shabbat services at the local Hillel (where I also worked for a semester), and even trying hard to be a good Catholic again. Eventually, thanks to FSU's Pagan Student Association and, most notably, because of Eva (l0vemaiden), I came back to Wicca.

Just... not entirely Wicca.

See, I had a bit of an issue with the dogma. Granted, it's a relatively new religion, having started only in the mid-1900s, but there were still teachings contained that I disagreed with, from initiations to the dualistic nature of Deity. So instead of calling myself Wiccan, I was an eclectic Pagan and kitchen witch.

Most of this is true today. Of course, most of my leanings are of a Wiccan nature, but I attributed that solely to whence I came. After all, when you learn about Paganism through books written by Wiccans, that's how it's going to turn out. I picked up some other stuff on my own and used resources available to me through nonwiccanwitch's community bookshelf to create the spirituality I practice today, which is a great mish-mash of kitchen witchery, Celtic lore, non-magickal witchcraft, general Paganism and panentheism, and of course, Wicca.

Which is why, as I read through Sylvan's book, I'm more than intrigued by the way her book is speaking to me. It's a book about Wiccan spirituality, a book that finally goes beyond the 101 section and arrives firmly in deepening one's spirituality with Deity. I've only made it through the first two chapters or so, but the things that she's saying so far has definitely shaken me from my original preconceived notions of Wiccan spirituality.

Don't get me wrong; many of my preconceptions weren't unfounded. I can't tell you how many things I've read where Deity was seen strictly as male and female, and they were represented by the sun and moon, respectively. Or the idea that the main way to get in touch with Deity is through spellwork or some sort of elaborate ritual, complete with calling the quarters and invoking God and Goddess. I could go on and on, but point is, there are so many Wicca-101 books that focus more on that stuff than on the spirituality behind it.

After all, why were we called to the religion (and it IS a religion) in the first place? Was it just the allure of love and money spells, or was it the way we felt when we bathed in the moonlight? Was it the fact we could make and own our own wand, athame, cauldron, and long flowy cape, or that we can toss all these aside for the woods and the streams and the wildlife, and feel more spiritually alive without all those trappings? Was it that we were more interested in the glitz and the glamor, or did we really feel something when we first invoked the name of Deity and welcomes hir into our lives?

Many books seem to overlook these important elements to Wiccan spirituality, and I admit that I had a bit of a sour taste in my mouth as a result. I was looking for the latter in every single scenario than I was in the former. Not that spellwork, tools, and a bit of mystery are a bad thing; in fact, I love those, too. But I didn't convert just for that. I converted because I felt more like myself when I sneaked out my bedroom window to admire the moon and feel the cool breeze around my face. SO much more like myself.

The spirituality I've been practicing hasn't been a way to reach Heaven or another afterlife of some sort, but to experience every day as sacred and divine. It's been hard to find a book on Wicca (especially those that are geared more towards beginners) that really put that into perspective for me, but I finally came across something that Sylvan wrote about Deity that really spoke to me:

     Someone once asked me, "What's the point of this Wicca thing? I mean, if you're not trying to get into Heaven or find Nirvana, what are you trying to do?"

     That is a tough one, and a question I don't think many of us have given a lot of thought to. It is difficult to step back and look at the bigger picture. I gave the only answer I knew, then or now. The point of Wicca, the real mystery behind it all, is to remember the Divinity within ourselves and all things; to manifest our God and Goddess all the time, every day, every moment; to love as They love, to give as They give; to serve Them in perfect trust, and thus bring Their grace more fully into the world; to understand that we are the embodiment of the Divine love and nurture, and to express that love in the world; to walk as God and Goddess.

I really have nothing more to add to this. I've tried a few times, but each attempt was deleted in favor of finally saying, "Yes, this entirely."

So... I don't know. This book is making me question what I call myself. I've had myself pinned as an "eclectic panentheistic Pagan" and "Wiccan-in-denial" for years, but maybe it's time to reevaluate that. Not that I'm entirely into labels, but if it speaks to me and feels to be my personal truth, then why not. :)

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     But who is the Goddesss? Or what? And what of the God? Just whom are we calling on when we're in Circle, wreathed in incense smoke, our hearts filled with a longing that we can't name? What do Wiccans believe in?
     Nothing.
     Bet that one caught you off guard.

[...]
     In the usual Wiccan worldview, Deity exists in everything, around everything, and as everything. Nothing is outside of or away from the Divine; everything is sacred. Deity can't be pigeonholed into inside or outside the universe; Deity is the universe. As such, Deity is both inside and outside; not wholly immanent, not wholly transcendent, yet more than both -- manifest.
     This is what I speak of when I say that Wiccans don't believe in anything. Nobody ever had to believe in the world -- it simply is. We don't believe in our gods, we know them. We are them. Belief isn't necessary when you have direct knowledge.

[...]
     Looking at Deity in this way, it's impossible to think of any other religion as "wrong." They're just different ways of arriving at the same conclusion.

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One last thing: I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine on LiveJournal about Sylvan's particular "brand" of Wicca, for lack of a better word. She advised me not to take her meaning to be the be-all, end-all of the Wiccan religion, something with which I completely agree! She also mentioned that there are so many people out there writing about Wicca that, suddenly, anything that lands in print is classified as part of the religion, when it began as a "secret society," much like the Masons with Initiations and Degrees.

While I do agree to some extent, I have to point out a few things. That's one of the downsides to a religion with no core dogma -- anyone can say anything, and suddenly, it's Wicca! However, I don't necessarily think it's a secret society. It may have started out in the way of the Masons, but I believe there's a difference between the Traditionalists who think that some aspects of the religion should be kept secret to preserve its mysteries and who do worship a specific Lord and Lady, and the more recent trend that seeks acceptance and, thereby, is more open about its practices and beliefs (even if those beliefs are vastly different amongst its adherents).

Kind of like Christianity. There are people all over the world who call themselves Christian, but there are so many different sects, ways to practice, people to worship or adore, and so forth that it's just... overwhelming sometimes! However, being of one particular view doesn't mean that all other points are invalid; they're just different ways of arriving at the same conclusion.

I've read about so many different types of Wicca, from the uber-Traditional to the Gardnerian to the Dianic to the Celtic... and everything in between. I'm not sure what type Sylvan practices (as so far, she hasn't alluded to following a specific path), but of all explanations for Wicca out there, hers is the one to which I most relate. Not to say that hers is the only one, as I think I made obvious by the types listed above.

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So, what do you think? What is your particular "brand" of Wicca, witchcraft, Paganism otherwise, or your own particular faith, and how does it speak to you?