Our handfasting cords!
I've alluded to it a few times, but in case you're either a new reader and haven't heard the news in its entirety, or have been keeping up and already know this, Matt and I are getting married on Samhain (Halloween) this year! Oh my GOD, 50 days from now. Things have been full swing with planning and so forth, and since I'm sure there are some here who are in interfaith relationships (see, yet another way to coexist!), I'll be updating on occasion with wedding planning stuff. Complete with pictures, of course. ;)
I've been a crafty little Witch the past couple months (see what I did there?), breaking out some do-it-yourself (DIY) projects for some small aspects of our wedding, including our ring bowl for the ringwarming and my garters. As I complete each project, I'll post them here, along with instructions on how to make each item.
Today, I bring you our handfasting cords! I made this last night, after really hemming and hawing about doing it. I've been reluctant until this point as I really didn't know how to make them... or even how to begin. However, I came across this tutorial by Offbeat Bride lepapillonvert, which became instrumental in designing our handfasting cords.
Wonder where the term "tying the knot" came from? Handfastings, of course! The word originates from a British Isles wedding custom of tying the bride and groom's hands (and/or wrists) together. The bride and groom hold each other's right hands while a cord is used to tie a series of knots around their hands/wrists, with each knot symbolizing a promise made to one another.
Handfastings symbolize a couple showing their commitment and devotion to each other by the act of binding each other. After the ceremony, the couple is both two individuals and life partners.
Since we're obviously an interfaith couple, I'll be updating here once in a while with different aspects of our wedding. And of course, once everything is said and done, you all will get to see pictures, too! I can't wait, you all are going to love it.
For these cords, I utilized three ribbon colors, doubled; some craft wire; some beads; and charms to represent our faiths (mine were the closest I could get to a pentacle, haha). I hope you enjoy them! Past the jump is the method by which I made the cords. If you do end up making your own, comment here with your craftiness!
"M" for Matt, and Star of David for his Judaism.
"S" for Stephanie, and crescent moon/star for my Paganism.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog while searching on how to make your own handfasting cord. The cord you made is beautiful! I myself am a Pagan and my fiance is Jewish. I was raised Roman Catholic as a child and him Jewish. His mother wanted me to convert, but I told her that I should not have to change to marry her son. I also informed her my family would not be happy also if I did not have a Catholic ceremony. We will be having an interfaith ceremony with both a priest and rabbi, but I wanted to incorporate my Paganism also, hence why I want to do the handfasting. Sorry for the ramblings but I had a few questions. Did you have an interfaith ceremony? If you did have a rabbi there, how did he handle the handfasting? Also, during the handfasting ceremony, did you use the ritual vows? Thank you and again, sorry for all the questions!
Your story sounds very similar to mine, all the way down to conversion! (While it was never brought up to me, it was something that was suggested to Matt -- I even went as far as to consult a local rabbi for conversion information -- but ultimately, we both were like, nah.) Your ceremony sounds like it's going to be beautiful! Many congratulations to you and your fiance!
ReplyDeleteTo answer your questions:
(1) Yes, we did have an interfaith ceremony! :) You can read more about that here.
(2) We had a cantor, actually, who affiliates with a Reform brand of Judaism and has performed several interfaith ceremonies. Therefore, she was very open to the idea of a handfasting. If you want to do one (and you should, it's a beautiful ritual!), bring it up to the rabbi and see if s/he would be willing to do one. A rabbi involved in a less conservative branch of Judaism will likely have no issue with it, but it's always good to run it by your officiant(s).
(3) We did that, too! If you check the link above, I have a few snippets from our wedding vows there. I'll also add the one for the handfasting below:
Blessed be this union with the gifts of Earth, which provides sustenance, fertility and security. The earth will feed and enrich you, and help you to build a stable home to which you may always return.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of Air, for openness and breath, communication of the heart, and purity of the mind and body.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of Fire, for energy, passion, creativity and the warmth of a loving home. From the fire within you generate light, which you will share in even the darkest of times.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of Water, for our capacity to feel emotion. In marriage you offer trust to one another, and vow to keep your hearts open in sorrow as well as joy.
As you can see, it was very Pagan. You can choose whatever language you'd like; there are lots of examples available online. I rather like this one (under "Binding"). It might also be worthwhile to ask if they've done handfastings before and what script(s) they have available -- you never know! And you're always welcome to alter them to suit your needs. :)
Let me know if you have any other questions, and congratulations again!! May you both be blessed and have a loving marriage!
Hey, just had a quick question. You said you used three colors, doubled. But I only see two colors and four ribbons (two of each color). How exactly did you twist them? I'm assuming you took one of each color into two strands and twisted it that way, but I can't tell. I must say you have beautiful cords :)
ReplyDeletei was also wondering if you used one cord or two (It looks like one, but it's hard to tell when it's wound in a pile :P ). We plan on using two cords, but I can only find instructions on how to tie one cord.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much for your help!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Kirstin!
ReplyDeleteI did use three colors: A navy-ish blue, silver with white edging, and (the one that's hard to see) this neutral-ish color that matched our carpet too well for its own good. ;) They were twisted as a rope braid, which allows for more flexibility (at least in my experience) than your traditional braid.
http://www.dressytresses.com/hair/gallery/instruct/rope-braid/
I did take one of each color for each "strand" and weaved them around as shown in the link above. Very simple, with very beautiful results!
To answer your other post, we only used the one cord. I don't see why two would be a problem, but I'm not personally familiar with handfastings with two cords.
Thanks so much! :) I'm hoping to one day make and sell these, so if you're at all interested, please let me know!
In the link you posted it's shown using two strands (the way I'm familiar with). Is using three any different? And i appreciate your offer (your cords are by far the most beautiful I've seen!) but our budget is small and I feel like there would be a stronger connection if we made them ourselves. What kind of ribbon did you use? Can you get it at your average fabric store? (Don't worry, we'll make ours different than yours! Lol)
ReplyDeleteAnd how did you attach the charms? I assume you took the wire and it's twisted inside the knot of the ribbon? Just want to make sure because I'm pretty sure we're going to use charms, and like I said our budget is small so there's not a lot of room for mess ups XD